Intermediates can get dates and are beginning to have some level of social success
Welcome to our first regular Date Coach Interview! I conducted this interview myself, with our very own Hector Castillo.
Over the next few months, we’ll be rolling out interviews like this where I talk with a Girls Chase coach about his story and what he teaches to the students he coaches.
Some girls love to be teased. But some girls hate it. You find
out who is whom (and how to proceed with each) by gauging her openness
to teasing, right up front.
Some girls you can tease, flirt with, and bust on until you’re blue in the face, and they’ll love every moment of it.
Other girls, though? Well... not so much. Give her even a light ribbing and her body language turns icy. Try and flirt with her and she just gives you that stony look. You can feel your stomach muscles constrict as she bores holes into you with her eyes.
If you can figure out where on the spectrum a girl lies before you lay your flirtation on thick (or not at all), you can adjust properly.
But if you can’t, you may just find yourself boring the girls who want you to tease... Or sending the girls who can’t handle teasing into a spiral of auto-rejection.
This article is aimed at men who are intermediate with girls and up.
You can still use it as a beginner, but it’ll likely be a little too finesse to remember to do in the heat of the moment. That’s okay, you can circle back here once the game’s slowed down for you.
So how do you know when to start teasing a girl, and when to hold off?
In this article, I’m going to give you the ‘cautious method’ for figuring out how open a girl is to teasing. You won’t always use this, and in fact I don’t always use it too (especially when I’m trying to just ping a girl quickly and see how interested she is, and move on if she isn’t that interested – I’ll go straight to personal teases in that case).
However, if you want to not blow it with a specific girl, or you’re in a captive audience situation (like seated next to her on a bus or airplane, or in a class), this is perfect for not sending girls into auto-rejection by going too far with your teases.
And if she isn’t open to teasing? Don’t worry, I’ve got a solution
for you there too.
Let’s dive in.
Your body positioning when you approach a new girl tells her a
lot about you, fast. If you want to make sure you send the right
signals, you want to get the positioning right.
Since lately we’ve been discussing non-verbal seduction, I decided to go a bit further and discuss the actual tools for non-verbal seduction. These upcoming posts will cover in depth some commonly known tools, but they will also discuss some oftentimes disregarded tools that are actually vital – remember that with non-verbal seduction, the devil lies in the details.
To illustrate this properly, I’ve decided to make today’s topic about positioning.
We will base our analysis on clubs and bars, but the exact same principle applies for parties and day game. The reason I use the club is because positioning is more important in this atmosphere and has more nuances in typical night game spots.
By positioning, I am referring to your body’s position relative to the female with whom you are interacting (or trying to interact with, if we are talking pre-approach) – where your body is facing, your distance from her, and even the particular spot where you’re standing can be a big factor. We will discuss all three phases of body positioning in three sections covering three broad seduction phases, namely:
The Pre-opening (before you engage)
The Post-opening (just after you engage – often described as the “hook-phase”)
Let us now discuss how positioning works during the first phase.
In How to Dress Case Studies 1, Darius puts together 3 outfits
for a guy whose aim is fun, casual flings with “good girls”.
Hey guys,
This will be our first “How to Dress: Case Study” article in what I hope to be a very cool and interesting three part series.
In this case study, we’ll be constructing an image tailor-made to
help its wearer have more flings with what he’d consider “good girls.”
Because this is the first piece, let me quickly explain what you’re about to find. Over the last few years, I’ve shared with you a wide variety of articles meant to show you how you can use clothes and fashion to maximize your attractiveness:
Extensive guides – Summer Fashion for Men and Men’s Cold Weather Fashion
Style inspirations – 5 Sexy Summer Outfits for Men, 5 Men’s Winter Outfits that Turn Girls’ Heads, and 6 Outfits That Will Help You Look Sexy
“Behind-the-scenes” frameworks – How to Tailor Your Image - Based on Your Lifestyle and How Should I Dress? Men’s Guide to Sexy Going-Out Attire
And with this article series I’d like to show you how all the know-how we’ve covered so far comes together in real, actual situations. In other words, we’ll take three different guys and tailor their image; we’ll build specific outfits that would work superbly in their lives.
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Now, because I didn’t want to just make up these unique situations, I reached out to some of my own site’s long-term readers and asked if they would like to participate.
From those who responded, I picked three unique situations in terms age, complexion, body type, climate for which we’ll tailor the image, and their goals with image and women. This way we’ll be able to cover a lot of ground and increase your chances of finding some useful tips you can implement in your image.
Lastly, to keep the privacy and anonymity of the volunteers, I won’t be sharing their full photos or full names. The subject from our first case study I’ll refer to as S.
How to approach a girl eating alone – you must disarm her
concerns of awkwardness first. Then you turn the tables.
This one’s a bit niche. But hey, I just covered a very broad topic (in great detail!) yesterday in my how to get a girlfriend article. So I think I can tackle a specific one here.
On our discussion boards, forum member CuriosityKillsTheCat asks:
“I’ve approached girls eating many times. It was difficult. Most of the time she had to stop and talked with me. Also I hadn’t find a way to move her to another place. Phone numbers were 100% flake.
Do you guys approach girls eating? My school’s cafeteria has many girls sitting alone eating there. I might miss out big opportunities.”
(here’s his forum thread on this)
It seems like a simple one to solve: she’s by herself, just go talk to her. Right?
Except it’s a little more complicated than that. Try it out, and you’ll find it’s often a bit awkward and a little intrusive to approach a girl who’s seated alone, eating her meal. You can make her feel trapped, and if there are ample places to sit, you look like you’re chasing her if you go all the way over to her. There are plenty of snares here for you to fall into.
Is there a way to consistently approach girls alone in large cafeterias (or elsewhere), and have it go well?
To get a girlfriend in 2 weeks, you pick your target, go where
she is, be flirty and social, and go for the close. But that’s just
Step 1.
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You can just picture it: that cute girl with a trim waist, a lovely laugh, and long, silky hair. How good it feels when she presses up against you and snuggles into you. How perfect her eyes are. How soft her body is. And she's yours, and she wants to be yours, and nobody else's.
In 2004, I (Chase Amante) sat down to figure out how to get a girlfriend. Because at the time I didn't know. This venture took me on an amazing journey... And I've dated some truly incredible women along the way. But more than that, I've been able to help tons of men do the same. Since I launched GirlsChase.com in 2008, I've helped thousands of men find awesome girlfriends. Many of those girls have even turned into wives.
So here, today, in distilled form, is my guide to getting that girlfriend. And not just any girlfriend - this is the guide to getting an amazing one. And we're going to do it all in just two weeks. Because, after all, life is short. Why should you and her need to remain apart any longer than necessary?
We've broken this article down into three sections. You can skip ahead to any of them (or their subsections) using the Table of Contents to the left.
Explanations aside, let's get going and get you an awesome girlfriend.
You can be attractive to girls before you even open your mouth.
You do this with presence: the hypnotic, mesmerizing masculine quality.
Hey guys. Today I will discuss a vital topic, rarely discussed – namely, presence.
Most guys are so focused on what to do in an interaction with women they forget the stuff before the interaction. This forgetfulness is understandable... After all, it is hard to focus on too many things when you are new. The conversation itself seems so immediate it can be hard to focus on anything else. And yet, the phase that precedes the interaction can play a tremendous role.
I will not discuss screening in this post, even though the screening phase is part of this crucial pre-interaction stage. If you are interested in screen and approach-invitation triggering, do not worry, there are more than enough posts covering the subject:
What we will focus on here is how one can be attractive from a distance – without even opening your mouth – before even approaching a girl. And even though we kind of touched upon that in my previous article, let’s dig a bit further into actual tips and tricks you can apply today. However, my previous post does serve as a great foundation for this one (so if you have not read it, check it out: “Warm Up with Physical Momentum and Get Laid Easier”).
Let us start with a fundamental topic before we get into the juicy stuff.
Touching girls can seem scary when you’re inexperienced with
women. But even experienced guys get touch wrong. With these 7 rules,
you’ll get touch right.
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3. Clinginess Won’t Get You Laid
4. Keep Her in Suspense a Little
Do you get touchier with a girl in the club?
Do you have to kiss her to get to the next club?
Is “more the merrier” true when it comes to physical escalation?
These are some of the most common questions of beginners, and probably the biggest misconceptions from intermediates. Everyone is under the impression that the more physical you get, the more likely a girl is to go home with you.
Yet, get physical at the wrong time, and your touch may have the opposite of the desired effect.
Is physicality sinking your chances at sealing the deal?
It’s Christmastime. But what if you’re alone? In that case, it’s
also a prime time to find a new girl to cozy up to for the holidays.
It’s Yuletide. Christmastime.
Christmastime is also the time of the Wild Hunt, an ancient European
tradition that predates the birth of Christ. And if you’re single and
not otherwise with family this year, Christmas is the perfect time for
a wild hunt of your own.
Last year, Alek wrote a piece on why winter is a tougher time to meet girls. It’s a great piece, and it’s a phenomenon I’ve seen with plenty of guys. Most guys are a lot more motivated to go out during summer... a motivation that all but dries up during winter. There are fewer women out during the winter, it’s colder, and many people settle into seasonal relationships (which they may or may not abandon when spring returns). Seasonal affective disorder kicks in. Lots of people just get, well, depressed during wintertime.
Nevertheless, personally, winter’s always been my very favorite time to meet girls. I love it. And there are some very specific reasons why I love it:
If she’s out, she’s
motivated.There’s
a certain level of self-selection that comes about during the
winter. People go out just to party and have fun and enjoy the good
weather when it’s warm out. These people who just want to have fun tend
to stay home a lot more as the weather gets worse. For practical
purposes, that means any given girl who’s out is a lot more likely to
be looking to hook up during winter than summer, and is not out just to
party. Her motivation is far more primal, and her drive to brave bad
weather and chance an empty venue much stronger than her more
contented, less motivated peers.
The vibe is more conversational. Another reason why I love winter is because everyone is in a more subdued mood. No one’s partying hard and getting crazy. That makes it much easier for me to run my preferred approach, with lots of deep dives and chase frames. Girls have less time for conversation when it’s warm out and there’s energy in the air – they just want to party, and their attention spans are shorter. During winter, their attention spans are more focused and they’re more down for a good chat.
She gives you more leeway. A third reason I like winter best of all is the ever-present desire to pair up for winter. If she’s single when it’s cold out, she probably doesn’t want to be single. That makes her more motivated to do things that may lead to her not being single – like giving a man who approaches her more of a shot, and being more willing to take a chance with him. In practical terms, this means you get more leeway with women during the winter. I’ve noticed in general I can screw up with girls much more during the winter (like: slip onto a boring topic, or be a little too aggressive, or not have any time to meet up with her for a first date) and still take them to bed. Whereas if I make the same mistakes when it’s warm outside, a girl’s more likely to get ghost. I’m not sure if this is because of the longer attention span / fewer distractions / less male competition the winter offers, or if it’s because girls are less content being single during winter... I suspect it’s a combination.
That’s just winter in general.
Yet here’s the important part for this post: I have noticed, having gone out on Christmas on several occasions, that on and around Christmas day, it’s like wintertime in general on steroids.
For this reason, Christmas, in my opinion, is one of the best times of the year to find a new girl... and unwrap her present.
You can sometimes do things for girls to make them more
compliant. But
you must be strategic in this – and you absolutely can’t supplicate.
Note right up front: this post is for somewhat more advanced guys.
At least intermediate-on-up. You need to be fine saying no to girls and
not have an overwhelming need to please before you’re ready for this
technique. Otherwise, you’re going to end up sabotaging yourself with
it.
If you’re a regular Girls Chase reader (or if you own my book), you know how important investment is to doing well with girls. It’s a cornerstone of your success with women. If you’re just catching up and need an investment primer, here’s my three-part compliance series, to wet your whistle:
In my article on Donald Trump persuasion, Lawliet asks a question about giving compliance to get it:
“When we give others compliance, does that increase their compliance in us? In social situations with friends? with meeting girls also? What about in sales? I notice some salesmen help clients do things.
If normally not (ex. Sad shopping guy, helpful guy, horny guy), is there a way to leverage it so it does? I somehow suspect it can (why else would so many guys use it as flirting?), but have not decrypt the key yet (they use it in the wrong way).
Some examples would be great! (love to hear your ancedotals stories)
Just my theory,
Lawliet”
So, yes – this is absolutely a thing.
In his book Influence, Robert Cialdini cites the example of giving free stuff (like a flower) to ask for a donation, a tactic which started at the airport with the Hare Krishnas – which if you’re too young to remember this scourge on American airports, as I am, you can still see preserved historically in the movie Airplane!:
The thing the Airplane!
clip shows you is that this tactic is often pretty grating.
The thing it doesn’t tell you – and that Cialdini talks about – is that it can be (and in the case of the Hare Krishnas, it was) extremely effective.
Yet before you go running off to use it in your seductions, we have a few things to discuss about it, first.
