(2) Intermediate | Page 73 | Girls Chase

(2) Intermediate

Intermediates can get dates and are beginning to have some level of social success

The Feminine Conundrum: Why Do Women Contradict Themselves So Much?

Chase Amante's picture

women contradict themselves
Women contradict themselves a lot. But they don’t always do so for the same reasons... They have 5 different ones, in fact.

She tells you she’s past her hookup phase and doesn’t just hook up with guys anymore. An hour later she’s fumbling with your belt buckle to pull down your pants and give you a blow job.

She tells you she’s done dating bad boys. But after your best bad boy performance, she’s already texting you a few days later to see when you want to do it again.

She tells you at the ordering window she doesn’t want anything to drink. Five minutes later she’s gulped down most of your cola and left you with an almost-empty cup.

She texts you she doesn’t want to be around a guy with friends like yours. Then she shows up at your door that night anyway, a big grin on her face... even after you told her you’re not dropping your friends for her.

She tells you she doesn’t want anything serious with you. A few months later she picks a big blow-up fight because she feels like it isn’t going anywhere.

She tells you she hates people who contradict themselves all the time. Then she contradicts herself again.

Spend any time around women and you’ve no doubt seen this. Most of these contradictions you get used to once you’ve seen them enough. But even if you’re a grizzled romantic veteran, women will still pull out contradictions that make your mental gears grind to a halt. And the only thing you can do is stare, jaw agape, and ask yourself, “What on Earth...? How can both of these sentiments come from the same person?”

Today we’re going to explore this feminine conundrum. We’re going to resolve all the contradictions around the female tendency to contradict.

How to Kickstart Behavior Change in Girlfriends or Lovers

Hector Castillo's picture

girlfriend behavior modification
So you want to modify a girlfriend’s behavior. Yet if you come out and say, “I want you to change,” you’ll offend. You must employ subtler means.

I was talking with my best friend the other day. He’s married but still occasionally reads Girls Chase. Plus, we talk all the time, so he’s bound to hear about girls and then talk about them.

One of his particular interests in relationship management right now is using social media to change the behavior of one’s girlfriend or wife.

We’ve discussed operant conditioning with relationships before. Encourage and reward what behavior you like; ignore the behavior you don’t.

But what we haven’t discussed too much is how to get the ball rolling with operant conditioning – how do you show her what you want her to do?

After a long talk on the phone with my buddy, we came up with a good system for guys in relationships to follow.

Tactics Tuesdays: Demo Seduction

Chase Amante's picture

demo seduction
If you already have something you’re good at doing with a girl, you can “demo” it on her – and get her even more sucked in to the seduction.

In yesterday’s article on being too girl crazy, I mentioned something I dubbed ‘demo seduction’. Demo seduction, I noted, is a way of telling a girl exactly what you’re doing to her, as you do it. In today’s Tactics Tuesdays article, I’ll detail this tactic a lot further for you.

Before we dive in though, a note on who can use this.

Demo seduction works best for men who are confident in the techniques they demonstrate. Usually you will reserve this for tactics you’re familiar with and have used enough times before you demo them. While it is possible to use this with brand new techniques (say, you’re going to try a new physical escalation ladder for the first time, and will describe it to her as you do it), you’re not going to be as smooth, since you’re trying to both describe the technique and figure out how to perform the technique at the same time.

As such, I do not recommend you couple this with brand new tactics. Stick to demo’ing things you already do and are able to make work, and you’ll get the most mileage out of your demos. This will mostly be a tactic for men who are intermediate and up.

Now let’s talk about what this is, how it works, and just why it’s so much fun (and so good!).

The Low Testosterone, No Girls Funk

Chase Amante's picture

low testosterone funk
Ever find yourself in a funk, where nothing you did with girls worked out? Sometimes it’s random. But sometimes it’s testosterone.

One of our more senior forum members, named Lao Che, has run into problems getting girls. Lao Che’s in his early 40s, travels often, and was until recently a regular hound dog. But then things fell off. He describes it as “I got old really fast.” He had a few relationships end poorly six months ago, and since then women won’t go beyond flirtation with him.

For years, Lao Che posted one lay report after another on the GC boards, often picking up girls the same night out of bars or sucking them into his world over a couple of dates and bedding them with ease. What happened?

I don’t know if it’s exactly his scenario (would need a few more details), but I suspect it is: most of the time when I see guys have total results reversals like this – where they go from lots of success with women, to no success with women – it’s a testosterone problem.

Testosterone problem? What’s that? What’s the cause... and why would getting T-levels flowing again after they’ve ebbed way down bring your results back up with women, too?

That’s the topic of today’s article: the low-T funk, what it looks like, how to identify it, and how to get back out of it. Don’t worry. I’m not going to give you any magic T-level rising potions to consume. But we will be talking ‘man stuff. If your T-levels are off, this is the stuff we’re going to get you doing to bring those levels back up.

The Lifestyle, Part 1: How to Get Into Sex Parties, Swinging, and Polyamory

Colt Williams's picture
lifestyle sex party
An introduction to “The Lifestyle”: sex parties, swinging, orgies, polyamory, and bringing new people into an existing relationship.

I was on the East Coast visiting a female friend a while back. As a night of delicious food and good conversation settled into our hearts and minds, she said, “Let’s go to a party.”

I acquiesced. Even though I don’t go to many parties these days, she is a classy lady and I knew that it would definitely be an interesting affair if she was involved.

And an interesting affair it certainly was.

It wasn’t like any party I had been to up to that point. We drove miles and miles until we arrived at a beautiful mansion outside the city we were in. We walked up the beautiful marble stairs that led up to a massive arched door.

The first thing I saw caught me off guard. After walking through the front door, I beheld a large, circular birdcage, inside of which was a woman who was completely naked with nipple clamps and a small chain hanging from her breasts.

As we continued to enter the foyer, there were several people in various animal costumes and masks who were barely clothed. After a few seconds of looking around, the maître d’ came out from behind the counter wearing one of those old French maid outfits.

“Welcome. What room would we like to go to this evening?” she asked.

My friend, without a second of hesitation, named one of the particular rooms.

“Good choice,” the maître d’ replied.

My friend handed her a credit card and looked back at me. “Let’s go.”

How to Tell a Girl Who's Beautiful from One Who's Made Up

Chase Amante's picture

natural beauty vs. makeup
Women use makeup, hair, dress, and behavior to make you think they’re prettier and more sexually receptive than they are. But you don’t need to be fooled.

After I’d been meeting girls in bars and on the street for a few years, I decided to undertake a project. I wanted to become instant and good at differentiating naturally beautiful girls from all the rest. And there were a few reasons I decided to do this.

If you aren’t too experienced with women yet, or you haven’t paid much attention to this, there’s a lot women can do to make themselves look more attractive than they naturally are. And in fact, often this ‘artificial beauty’ commands men’s attention more than natural beauty does. I discussed this in “You’re Passing Up the Hottest, Coolest Girls”; how, quite often, a guy will go for the flashy girl with red lips and a low neckline over the girl who actually has the prettier face and better breasts, but who does not advertise these.

My suggestion is for you to switch it up. Rather than go for the girl who makes herself look better and more sexually receptive than she is, you go for the girl who is genuinely beautiful, and genuinely receptive, yet isn’t angling for your attention as much.

Of course, that’s hard to do if you don’t know what you’re looking for. The hair, makeup, and clothes industry is designed to trick the male brain. It is hard to not be spellbound by the woman in flashy attire, with flashy hair, and flashy makeup.

Thus, if you’d like to see past the illusion, you must train to attune to certain things.

How to Meet Girls at Gay Bars, Part 5: Odds and Ends

Alek Rolstad's picture

meet girls in gay bars
The final article in the “meeting girls in gay bars” series: the best place to open, how to isolate in gay bars, the gay after party, and more.

Greetings!

Welcome to the 5th and final chapter (for now) on seduction in the gay environment. To date, I have shared this 5-part guide in addition to two other articles that indirectly cover relevant elements on this subject. If you haven’t read those articles yet, here they are.

And here are those related articles:

Just like our previous article, this one will focus on elements of the seduction process that are unique to the gay environment (things that are particularly awesome about it) that you should exploit. We’ll also discuss potential difficulties and other things to watch out for – and how to deal with them.

The focus of this post will be on the surroundings, the situation, and the context in which the seduction takes place. You’ll learn how to understand and properly manage the logistics, some of which are in fact different in this environment.

There are also some logistical “shortcuts” or “cheats” that I want to cover.

Let us get into it.

Most Guys Who Suck with Girls Have No Idea Why

Denton Fisher's picture

suck with girls
When a guy doesn’t do well with girls, usually he finds something to blame. But most of the time, what he blames is not the true culprit.

Everyone is an expert, as the saying goes. The less you know, the more you are convinced there’s nothing you don’t know. People will repeat non-stop how your success with the opposite sex is predetermined. I have too many friends who have been approaching women for years, still whining about things they cannot control instead of focusing on improving what they’ve got. It is ridiculous.

But it makes you wonder: how much is there for the average person to improve, given proper practice and incremental development?

7 Girl-Getting Paradigms (Which One is Yours?)

Chase Amante's picture

girl getting paradigms
Different men approach meeting girls from wildly different paradigms. What does your paradigm say about you – and how’s it impact your success?

The other day, commenting below Alek’s fourth installment on his series about meeting girls in gay bars, a reader named BMontana remarked:

[A]s a man, I not only want to get laid but I also want a woman to chose me over other straight guys, it’s an ego thing I guess. Now I wouldn’t mind picking up a girl in a gay bar if I was 100% sure I would succeed but still knowing that I am one of the few non gay guys won’t give me the satisfaction that I would have gotten when picking up a woman in a regular bar.

It’s an interesting girl-getting paradigm: I’m most satisfied with a pickup if the girl chooses me over other men.

At first I mistook BMontana’s paradigm for: I’m most satisfied with a pickup if I vanquish other men. But I realized that is yet another paradigm. BMontana wants to feel picked by the girl over other offers, rather than to defeat other men in a battle of skills, wit, or will.

What I’d like to do today is to explore the different potential paradigms a man may have when it comes to securing new women. Some of these paradigms are more helpful than others; however, I will not present them in order of effectiveness.

Instead, we’ll talk a bit about what makes a paradigm more or less effective, and then we’ll discuss the seven (7) paradigms a man may use. Note that your paradigm will tend to be your default; when you operate from a paradigm, it is how you normally interact with the opposite sex.

The paradigm you inhabit colors your dating world: how you think about women, you interpret the signs and signals they give you, and how successful (or not) you are, in various situations, with various women.

How to Meet Girls at Gay Bars, Part 4: Picking Her Up

Alek Rolstad's picture

gay bar pick up
Once you’ve hit it off with a girl in a gay bar, how do you pick her up? By showing you’re straight, beating her tests – and turning her on.

Welcome to Part 4 of my series on meeting girls in gay venues. Here are links to the other articles: