(2) Intermediate

What is masculinity? Who defines it – who makes the rules? Is it intrinsic, or culturally determined? And is it even “real”?

Sometime back, I came across an intriguing double bind.

I found it in the comments section of some feminist website, on an article written by a man about his enjoyment of pegging (i.e., when a man lets a woman shag him with a strap-on). Some male commenter had insulted this writer, and called him less than a man.

But then, the feminist readers of the website piled onto this commenter. And they all had the same attack line for him:

“What’s the matter, are you not man enough to take it up the butt?”

It’s a fascinating rhetorical device. Either you agree to receptive anal sex, which has profound effects on the male psyche (anecdotally, men who receive anal sex become more feminine, moodier, and bitchier), effectively making you no longer a full ‘man’... Or you don’t agree to receptive anal sex, in which case you are ‘not man enough’.

This double bind got me thinking: what is masculinity, anyway? How do we define what is or isn’t masculine? Who in our society holds the right to craft these definitions, women or men? Is masculinity decided by the society, by the man, or by something else?

The answers will intrigue you, I think.

And don’t worry – in the end, we’ll address that feminist double bind attack too, and show how a firm concept of masculinity makes attacks like these run off you like water.

How do you pick up girls at the swimming pool? Where you make your approach, and how you time it, is vital to your success here.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a professional swimmer, a beginner, or a motivated guy who read Ross’s article about building a male body, swimming pools are a great place to meet gorgeous women.

To save a failed open or a stalled date, use ‘over-the-top romanticness’. It’ll put a smile on her face and reset the tone of the courtship.

Here is a fun little technique, just in time for Valentine’s Day.

It’s what I dub ‘over-the-top romanticness’. While something of a niche tactic, it is fun, and it provides a bit of a resistance-buster.

With this behavior, you can melt the resistance of otherwise-icy girls... And you do so in a way that gets you having a lot of fun as well (so no matter how she responds, you end up in a better mood).

This is a tactic that opens up ‘negotiations’ with girls, which means (if you’re a half-decent ‘negotiator’) you can carve out a shot with girls you might otherwise not have access to.

Further, it serves as a ‘get out of jail free’ card for those situations where you thought you might have blown it, broke the spell, or otherwise flubbed your chances with a girl.

First, I’m going to show you what this is. Then, I’m going to show you how (and when) to use it.

How you use your mouth impacts physical escalation. When and how you kiss her is key, as are some of the other mouth moves you make.

Greetings, fellow seducers!

Today I will continue with a very important topic in my series on physical escalation. There is no doubt that no matter what form of seduction you may prefer – whether it is day game, night game, social circle, or online – you must eventually escalate the vibe and lead the process to its end goal: sex. In probably 90-95% of cases, physical escalation will be required before that can happen, which is why I not only put a lot of emphasis on the subject... but also why I keep discussing the subject.

We have so far discussed (in my recent articles):

• Fundamentals of escalation – covering all the whys (primarily why it is useful)

• The theoretical foundations of physical escalation

• Calibration – how to escalate in a smooth way

• Additional escalation techniques to increase efficiency

This article will go further by discussing the use of your mouth in physical escalation. The previous posts covered primarily the use of hands as a tool of escalation. One can, of course, use any body part (appropriate for the context) as long as there is touch.

For example, pressing your full body into hers is something really powerful and strong. Or your legs touching is flirty but also hot. Anything goes, really, as long as it is hot.

Today we will talk specifically about the mouth, as it is a common tool of escalation… kissing for example. Kissing is a common thing, after all. But we will also cover other techniques. However, let us begin with kissing.

The bad guy compels because he isn’t afraid to speak truth and break rules. But more than this – he is a product of his zeitgeist.

There’s been a funny trend of late, in film and other media.

The bad guys are sexy. They’re cool. Way, way cooler than the good guys.

Vincent in Collateral. Anton Chigurh in No Country for Old Men. The Joker in The Dark Knight.

And among the coolest guys in cinema who aren’t out-and-out bad guys? Well, the other cool guys aren’t good guys either. They’re anti-heroes, like Johnny Depp’s Captain Jack Sparrow, Brad Pitt’s Tyler Durden, or Guy Pearce’s Eric in The Rover.

The bad guy hasn’t always been cool. In most older movies, the good guy is significantly cooler, more interesting, and more relatable than the bad guy.

Yet in more recent films, the good guy is often... Too gullible. Too naïve. And he stays that way.

You watch old movies, and if the good guy starts off too naïve, he eventually comes to understand the way of the world, yet remain a strong, firm good guy at the end of it. In more recent films, the good guy always finds a way to remain more or less entrenched in his bubble of ‘correctness’, despite whatever pitfalls befall him along the way.

I propose that in topsy-turvy times, when black is white and up is down and left is right, those men who attack and upend the established order of things are those we most intuitively grasp as those who must be ‘correct’. And because they see fit to buck a powerful trend that has most individuals cowed, not only are they correct... they are powerful.

And power, no matter what the era, is always sexy and cool.

It's time for our last article in the “How to Dress Case Studies” series. Just in case you are just tuning in, you can find Part 1 and 2 right here:

• How to Dress Case Studies Series, Pt. 1: Flings with Good Girls

• How to Dress Case Studies, Pt. 2: Stylish in College

For our last case study, I wanted to pick someone taller in height, since elongating the frame has been a big focus point in our first two articles. This time, we’ll let our subject do that on his own.

An interesting fact about T – our case study for this article – is a few years ago he was one of my first consultation clients and, as you’ll see in just a moment, he’s already rocking an exceptional style and gets the flattering feedback that is expected when you’re doing a great job with your image.

This also means that even though I’ll cover the basics throughout this article to make it helpful for guys who are just starting to improve their fashion game, a major focus throughout this case study is going to be tackling tougher issues, such as how to approach your image to get the maximum advantage.

We’ll also get a bit pedantic with the little details. It might feel like overkill for some, but once the fundamentals are covered, being mindful about these little details leads to disproportionately big results.

One last thing that makes this case study fascinating is that we’ll discuss how we can – and whether we should – adjust our image over time as our goals and priorities start to change.

With that said, let’s meet T.

Guys often post up in all the wrong places when they hit the club. This is the guide to posting up right: all the best spots to nail down in clubs.

If you pick up girls in bars and clubs, one of the issues you will soon run into is where to post up inside these venues. You’re not going to be walking around non-stop for four hours straight, for instance. And you likely won’t meet your girl for the night soon after you enter the venue, and grab a seat with her, then leave. It happens sometimes, but usually you’ll be there for a while.

Thus comes the strategic consideration of where to post up. Where are you going to position yourself when you aren’t circulating through the crowd or chatting up a girl?

This sounds like a minor point. Just pick anywhere to hang at for a while, right?

Yet if you’ve spent any amount of time in bars, lounges, or nightclubs, you’ve already seen many a ‘bachelor’s row’: that long line of lonely men, standing alone or in pairs or trios, shoulder to shoulder, clutching their drinks and watching the crowd. Finding the right spot to post up at is not something that comes natural to most men.

If you don’t want exile in bachelor’s row (and you definitely don’t want exile in bachelor’s row), you’ll need to pick better post-up spots to bide your time at.