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Don't Talk About Pickup to Other People

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

talk about pickupYou should not talk about game with most people. It might be tempting to (especially when it's a major point of interest of yours)… but mum's the word.

This is a sort of public service announcement, mostly for new guys, but really also for any guy who gets a little 'game obsessed' and starts to spout off about game and girls.

In your day-to-day life, you will have ample opportunity to talk about women.

I suggest that, unless you are on a seduction forum or with a group of men whom you know are very much into game, you don't mention it.

That can be trying at times, especially when seduction is your passion.

However, you really are better off not doing it.

The simple fact is that discussing the art of picking up girls is alienating to 99.97831% of men out there, including many other men who like to pick up girls.

We talk about it here on this site, and if you read here often it might feel like a normal conversation subject, even. Nevertheless, for most people, this is a subject they do not ever talk about, and don't feel comfortable talking about.

So you need some rules around discussing it.

The best rule is, "For most people, don't discuss this subject at all."

A sound corollary to that best rule is, "For those you do discuss it with, tread lightly."

Make It Happen

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

make it happen
If you want something in life, like a woman to love (or 50 women to love), you're just going to have to figure out how you'll make that happen.

Long before I was a dating coach, I was in a sort of “factotum,” or a state of bouncing through many different jobs. I quit most and was fired from a few. I just didn’t find many jobs rewarding for anything other than paying rent.

At one of these jobs, I was a low-voltage electrician. During the plasma TV boom, every rich person in Vancouver wanted one on their wall. So my job was to install these big, heavy televisions.

I hated it, but the pay was good. It was a hard job that required a lot of problem-solving. How do you get these wires across this house or apartment and into an electronics equipment panel without them being visible? We had to go into the wall, through the attic, or into the crawl space. Then we had to mount these 50-pound beasts (pre-LCD TV) onto these awkward wall brackets.

Some days I’d look at what was involved for an install, and it seemed impossible. I’d want to tear my hair out, quit, and live on welfare. So I’d call my boss and say, “I don’t see how this is possible. It’s too difficult.”

And my boss always gave me the most powerful and vague advice:

“Make it happen, Tony.”

And he’d hang up.

6 Traits of Women Who Like Short Men

Tony Depp's picture
women like short menMost women may like taller men. Yet if you know what traits to look for, you can spot the women who are open to dating shorter men… or who even prefer them.

Where are the women who like short men?

I used to watch this cartoon called “Invader Zim.” It’s about a jerk alien who’s one of the shortest in a society that places high status on the tallest members. The leaders of the race are actually called “The Tallest.”

The joke is obviously aimed at us, the human race, and our predisposition to give status to the big and tall. It’s tied to our DNA, I suppose. Men like women with thin waists, wide hips, and big breasts for baby-rearing. Women like big, tall, strong men to protect them from wild beasties in the night. We haven’t evolved all that much.

Does that mean if you’re under five feet tall, you’re doomed to dating other Hobbits? Are you going to be stuck traveling the yellow brick road, forever limited to other Oompa Loompas? Don’t fret little one.

Today I’m going to alleviate the insecurities of the countless vertically-challenged men seeking confirmation that they’re not doomed to a life of AI sex dolls and Cheetos. There's plenty of hope for your dating as a short man.

Yes, there are women who like dating short men. It’s not a niche you’ll find on porn sites (I’ve never looked), but thanks to something we call having “game,” any man can rise above (snicker) the competition.

Should One Even Bother with Dating During a Pandemic?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

covid dating
This COVID pandemic has thrown a massive wrench in the dating game. In lockdown, meeting women is much harder, if not impossible. So, should you even bother right now?

Hey guys, and welcome back. I’ve recently shared a few guides and opinions on the COVID-19 pandemic and how it affects pickup and seduction.

If you'd like to catch up on those, here they are:

I know we live in frustrating times; and I will not hide it, I find these times frustrating, too. But I keep a cool head and carry on, trying to figure out ways to maintain my lifestyle.

Things will eventually get back to normal; when is the real question. I am not going to sit back and wait, though I admit, I am not as active as I usually am with my pickup and seduction hobby. So I do what I can to maintain my skills and keep some female company as I believe this to be healthy. Having girls around is healthy for my brain, especially these days when everybody seems to have lost their minds.

I know some of you are still questioning whether one should still bother with seduction at all during these times. This question is what I’ll cover in today’s post.

15 Grooming Tips for Men Who Want to Look Good

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

grooming
Manly does not mean malodorous. Well-groomed does not mean weak. These grooming issues tip the scales between success and failure with women.

Grooming isn’t a town in Wyoming. Grooming is what you, as a man, should be doing to attract the sexiest women possible.

When I teach in-person at live bootcamps, one of the most annoying aspects of my job is when a man shows up with very obvious grooming deficiencies. So today, I’m going to point out the top grooming blind spots for men.

 

Does Grooming Matter?

Most of these mistakes are so clear to me it is almost painful. Why should I have to tell the guy he’s making these basic grooming mistakes? Does he not have self-respect?

I’m not talking about fashion mistakes. That’s a different subject. I’m talking about grooming — keeping your look clean and tidy as though you care about yourself.

Most men are clueless when it comes to fashion, too, and they use “game” as an excuse not to learn about it.

“But with game, I thought it doesn’t matter what you wear,” they say to me.

No, you need to groom yourself properly, and learn about fashion. It's a very important part of fundamentals.

COVID-19 Dating – How to Meet Women in the Era of Masks

Alek Rolstad's picture

covid-19 dating with masks
I won’t sugarcoat this. Masks are a cockblock. That said, you can still meet women in places they’re not mandatory. If you can’t do that, buy or make a fashionable mask.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Today, let’s look at another aspect of dealing with pickup and seduction during this unfortunate pandemic.

I’ve written a few articles about the pandemic already:

  • How to deal with hard lockdown (read here)

  • Why dating apps are not the best tool to meet women during the pandemic (read here)

  • What strategies to choose at each level of lockdown (read here)

  • How female sex drive is affected by different lockdown levels over time, and how this information can be useful in your strategic assessment (read here)

Now let’s discuss the elephant in the room: how to seduce women as masks are becoming mandatory in public spaces. Many places you go to meet women are now filled with masked people.

Wearing a mask can get in the way and impair your interactions with women. In locations where masks are NOT mandatory, you may dodge some issues. However, some women may be afraid to talk to you because they believe you are at risk of contaminating them.

This post is mostly my opinion. I will discuss why masks may get in the way and what you can do about it. There is no clear answer yet because just like you, I am still trying to figure out this new and unique situation.

First, I’ll question why so many guys make an issue about wearing masks. I also live in a space that requires masks in public buildings. I have not encountered many problems with these policies. I will explain why.

Why Are 21st Century Men So Apathetic and Unmotivated?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

what motivates a man
Men of today have lost their motivation to build, fight, work, or get women. What's behind their lethargy, and how can you overcome this in yourself?

We live in a distinctly unmotivated time.

During the settling of the American continent, European settlers burst through with boundless energy. They founded towns, warred with the natives, pushed into hostile and unfamiliar lands, and carved paths through a frontier in search of unknown fortunes.

In the American West, frontier towns brimmed with ambitious men who eschewed the comforts of civilized life, like fine clothes, fine food, or women -- some towns at some points had male-female ratios as stark as 754-to-1. Before the Gold Rush of 1849, California's population was 90% male.

Yet, this bothered the men little, for they were there to find wealth, greatness, or just to build or find something new.

Men of this age didn't need help with women. They found wives readily enough (when they returned to civilization -- or imported them from back home), and those wives didn't divorce them (and only infrequently ran off with other men).

Men of this age didn't lose themselves into aimless pastimes, comfort, and luxury the way men of later ages did either. Most led hard lives, with simple food, simple living, hard work, and simple pleasures.

Yet travel 150 years into the future, and their inheritors are an opposite picture.

American men today sit about all day, riding around in automobiles, their faces glued to screens, their testosterone levels crashed (17% down just from 1987 to 2004 alone), over 50% of the American population non-working (population: 329,227,746 citizens + ~12,000,000+ legal and illegal aliens; jobs: 137,802,000; total U.S. employment: <40.4%). Compare that to the Pioneer Age, when women and children worked all day (on the farm, on the ranch, at the market, making textiles, or in various other occupations)! Many Americans are disinterested in the work available (I have seen numerous men in trades talk about offering jobs or apprenticeships to unemployed younger men and having those younger men turn them down), while many have little thought to the future (1 in 6 older people plan to spend all their children's inheritance).

This apathy extends to all kinds of things, and is on the rise. When I got into the seduction space, most guys weren't that interested in pickup because they occasionally got laid or found girlfriends from their social circles (and that was enough for them).

Today, even fewer men are interested in seduction, yet for different reasons. Rather than it being because they got laid in other ways, a lot of men aren't having sex at all, and are completely apathetic about doing anything to change that situation.

young men no sex
The percentage of men not having sex is shooting skyward.

There's less interest in pickup.

young men no sex
Interest in getting women is down to about 40% of what it was when I founded Girls Chase.

There's less interest in nightlife.

young men no sex
It's been worsening yearly. As of a few years ago, each month only 334 bars opened while 609 bars closed (source).

Men are dating in their social circles much less, and every man is on Tinder, where most women aren't.

what motivates a man
Tinder: the ultimate sausage fest. Worse than any nightclub! Source: Statista

More and more men aren't working, more and more men aren't getting laid, more and more men aren't doing anything other than to sit around with their time, watching their jobs disappear, their women walk by, and their histories vanish, and instead of doing anything to change any of that, more and more men just hang around, observe, and complain.

What's happened to men in the 21st Century, and how did they become so dull?

Should Guys Still Worry About Anti-Slut Defense?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

anti-slut defense
Times have changed in regards to sexual liberalism among women. Particularly, anti-slut defense is becoming less prevalent. But should we stop using ASD-busters?

I initially planned to keep up with my COVID-19 related posts. However, I received a fascinating response from a reader about my first article on dating apps (where I share my perspective that I do not like them).

The question was posed by user doncgiovanni:

“Hey,

In this article, you said anti-slut defense is ALMOST a thing of the past. I read a couple of your articles on sex talk and gambits. The crucial part of them always seems to be framing women as not sluts, rather expressing their sexuality.

Do you find this not so necessary anymore? I’m finding more and more girls in alternative circles just owning their “slutness” and not giving a damn... which is great :)

Do you think it’s cool to just skip this part with some girls/most girls? How do you go about it?

By the way, love your articles, contributions to this scene.”

DG

Women often resist sexual approaches so they are not perceived as sluts or “easy” in their peers' and friends’ eyes, and the eyes of potential lovers. And many men dislike “easy women” for various reasons. So a defense mechanism occurs that makes women turn down sexual moves, and act more asexual than they really are. It’s as if they were “hiding” their sexuality.

Society has traditionally controlled and suppressed female sexuality for centuries. To understand why, review my earlier article on anti-slut defense (ASD).

In today’s Western world (this may be different in non-Western countries), women seem looser around sexuality because of cultural changes. Pop music, political discourse, and youth culture all motivate sexual behavior.

Dealing with ASD (removing her barriers about being sexual with a guy) and making her comfortable being sexual with you is a major part of the game. It’s usually done by:

Our reader is asking a good, straightforward question. If ASD is diminishing — if not disappearing from Western female minds — then why still worry about it? Why would I still advocate using ASD-busting techniques, like communicating sexually liberal ideals and low-keyness?

There are multiple reasons.

10 Motivation Tools to Boost Your Dating Skills

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

motivation dating skills
It’s hard to find the motivation to go out and get rejected, but that’s what it takes to be successful in dating. These tools will give you a more positive outlook.

It’s so obvious, it’s cliché, but to find success with women, to develop skill with cold-approach pickup, you need to interact with a lot of women.

I don’t mean going to happy hour once a week, opening once and going home. To even land a coffee date with an above-average-looking girl means interacting with dozens of them. Perhaps up to a hundred, if you really suck at it.

For a newbie, this can be like someone who’s never done a chin-up being told you have to free-climb Mount Everest in nothing but a Batman cape.

For the intermediate guy, it may feel like you’ve been climbing this mountain forever. Whenever the top feels close, you gaze up to an eternal stretch of snow and rock. You’ve been trying forever. When will you finally arrive?

COVID-19 Has Not Made Dating Apps Better

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

dating apps during COVID-19 pandemic
For getting laid during a pandemic, you’d think dating apps would be the obvious solution, but sadly that’s not the case. In fact, they suck now more than ever.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Last week I wrote an article about why dating apps suck in general. I shared my skepticism. I believe it is an inferior type of game in every way, and it is the least efficient method of dating.

As I am writing this, the world is still facing the COVID-19 pandemic. Many places are experiencing a full or partial lockdown. The field is not what it used to be, if accessible at all.

During these challenging times, online game, including dating apps and websites, are not the first thing that comes to mind. But they are indirectly recommended by health authorities. Dating apps and dating websites are supposed to be our new way to meet women.

After all, it makes sense. You are not allowed to mingle in big groups, or to go to bars and clubs. If you are, it is usually not recommended, and there are limits due to social distancing policies.

So I get it. Dating apps are supposed to save us.

Despite hating dating apps, I saw them as a potential solution. At first. So, I gave it a shot. At least I had to try.

The results? You’d expect EVERYONE, including girls, to be active on dating apps and be eager to meet a cool guy like you or me. But the truth is, this was as far from reality as it could be.

I was never the type who was big on apps like Tinder. I did get many matches during a period last year when I was experimenting with dating apps. However, these days my results have been lower than usual, almost nonexistent.

I get very few matches. Perhaps 1 in 100 swipes. That’s quite a crappy ratio, especially when you have professionally taken photos and happen to not be ugly.

So what did I see?

  1. Many prostitutes

  2. Many girls stating that they were not answering on Tinder, but that you could add them on Instagram (for attention)

  3. All sorts of girls from across the globe (this BS called Tinder Passport, even if deactivated, you still receive responses from girls from other countries)

Let’s break down these three cases. Then I’ll share my theories on WHY dating apps suck EVEN more during the pandemic, and why you should spend your energy on other options instead.

It hurts me to admit that I’m not giving you clear solutions on how to seduce during the pandemic. However, I may save you some time, energy, and emotions to find solutions that work so you can spend your time on productive activities that are not seduction-related, but beneficial to your development.

Side note: I’m currently experimenting with new solutions on how to meet girls during the pandemic. I need more data before I share, but expect my upcoming posts to cover some solutions.

Without having clear solutions yet, things are progressing well. So stay optimistic!