(1) Beginner

Women don’t communicate like men, and most guys don’t understand that. Let’s boil down the things you should know if you want to stand out as a guy who “gets” her.

Women see the world differently than men do. My experience as a seducer has afforded me the chance to study these differences in great depth. Over time I have witnessed the sheer scale and extent of these differences and how they affect communication. But the ordinary guy is not born with this knowledge, and it is not that easy to grasp in the normal routine of life. I will break down the most significant differences and explain why communication is best done in a certain way to help achieve clarity.

Just like any other guy, I started out thinking: “Whether man or woman, the principles of communication are the same: be honest, talk directly, and expect the same from others.”

When I expected a response from women, I was surprised when women would not respond. On top of this, I expected attraction to work the same way for women as men and predicted they would want sex right away if they liked the look of a guy. So at first, I just asked girls directly if they wanted to go on a date, kiss, or come back to my place.

I can easily imagine my life if I had continued thinking this way. I would never have become capable of discussing profound topics with women and may have NEVER caught on to how to become as adept with women as I am today.

I caught on quickly through several strokes of good fortune.

You won't always be super active with approaching new women.

You'll go through stretches where you're focused on work or other things. You might only approach opportunistically, to girls who show a lot of interest. Or you might break off approaching entirely for a time.

After you take a little time away like this, after a while when you want to get back to approaching, the rust comes back... and you have to deal with approach anxiety all over again.

When you're not in the habit approaching a lot, especially when you're not in the habit of making uninvited approaches (where the girl hasn't signaled you to open), there's anxiety.

• What am I going to say to her? you'll ask yourself.

• I'm not warmed up, I don't feel confident using one of my regular openers.

• I'm not sure what I'll say to her AFTER the opener.

• She's not in an easy place to get to, if she isn't into me it's going to be awkward to move away from there.

You might go out intending to chat up women, and end up chatting to no one.

Yet, there's something you may have once known... something you forget when you don't approach as actively.

And as soon as you remember it, you can be fine.

You start approaching again in earnest, shake the approach anxiety off, and have no trouble meeting girl after girl.

That one thing you can remember (or learn, if you hadn't previously known it) -- the one great trick you can use to get yourself approaching after a hiatus from it -- is the difference between creating attraction and finding attraction.

When we’re stuck short of realizing our desires, it’s often hard to figure out why we aren’t moving, especially when our sticking points come from within.

When you are trying to learn an epic new skill like seduction, you’re inevitably going to experience sticking points.

A sticking point is a spot in your journey you can't past unless something changes. It’s like heavy mud on your boots, keeping you from moving forward.

But it can still be confusing as to what a sticking point entails. For example, if you’re from Pakistan and you want to live in London, but you can’t get past the bureaucracy to obtain a travel visa, this isn’t a sticking point. If, however, you obtained a visa but have a deep fear of flying keeping you from traveling, this is a sticking point.

If you want to meet a girl you like, but she won’t reply to your texts, this isn’t a sticking point. If you have her contact info, but you don’t know what to text her, this is. You can always improve your skill with texting, but you can’t force a girl to reply.

So, how does one identify and get past sticking points? How does one come to find themself on the other side of personal obstacles and achieve their goals?

If you want to be smooth with women and life, you won’t get there with snappy one-liners or good looks. True smoothness requires a much finer grit.

A while back, I wrote about how to be smooth with conversation. With this article, I want to expand the dialogue on smoothness and get your interactions slathering with smoothness on all sides.

Let's make your entire demeanor smooth.

It’s the way you talk (your voice tonality, rhythm, etc.), the way you gesture with your hands, the way you move your eyes and face when you speak (and when you listen), the way you walk, the way you shake hands, the way you touch a woman who is sitting with you at a bar.

That’s what we want to make smooth. And how do we make this smooth?

Well, smoothness in a sexy man can be expressed in many ways.

Smoothness is one facet of sexiness, and there are many levels to sexy. I always tell my students they need to find a way of expression that fits them.

Once you find your style, you must do three things:

1. Master the fundamentals of your style; become the best version of your ideal man

2. Master the conversation of your style; become the best conversationalist you can be

3. Master your mind; see and know that you think like this man

The technicalities of smoothness are:

• Fundamentals
• Conversation
• Mind (inner game)

In my experience, these are not enough to make a man truly smooth. The final two recommendations of mine are to:

• Spend time with women you love
• Have a mission

We will focus on these final two later. First, let’s look at the most crucial areas, the technicalities.

I talked to a friend recently and told him about a woman I'd dated with a short fuse.

She was in all other respects perfect.

Physically very beautiful. Very smart and highly educated.

Good career. A happy, positive, can-do person, with a charming personality.

More self-improvement-orientated than almost any woman I've met.

However, she had a very short fuse, and various things would set her off.

Once you set her off, she'd fly off into a (self-)righteous rage.

Her rage would last anywhere from 30 minutes to a few hours, then she would calm back down. A little while later she'd be happy again.

This short fuse of hers was inherited. Her father had it. Her elder sister and younger sisters had it. Others in her family did not have it, but those four did. At a family gathering I attended with them, all four set each other off and flew into rages against one another.

The sisters often tried to avoid talking with each other and their parents, solely because of their tendencies to set each other off like that. Everything else about their relationships were fine, but the anger they all boiled over into did not well mix.

I did everything I could, within reason, over the time I dated this girl to cure her of this fuse.

I thought for a while that with proper operant conditioning, I'd break her of her temper.

I was wrong, and nothing I did was a permanent fix.

The friend I mentioned this to is an optimistic guy who is good at approaching new women, but has trouble bedding them and hanging onto them. His relationships never work out. He's one of the 'hard case' guys I know and have talked about before on Girls Chase. It's hard to put your finger on it with him, but there are many little things it often seems like he does not really 'get'.

When I talked about some of the details of this relationship with him, he told me "Well, it sounds like you set up a pattern early on where this type of behavior was acceptable."

He added that it "sounds like you were encouraging this" or "maybe you subtlely like this."

He then admitted he'd dated a few dramatic women before, but "I quickly showed them I wouldn't tolerate that and they stopped doing it."

It was a little pop armchair psychology that on the surface sounds really good. Somebody does something you don't like? Just make it clear it's unacceptable, and she'll stop for good! Don't be weak or invite it back in, and you'll never have to deal with it again!

But, as I told him, people are a lot richer and more complex than this... and you simply wanting a behavior to change, and putting a few behavior modification procedures in place to try to change it, does not ensure you'll get the change you want.

Especially not long-term.

Far from it.

Rather, while you should do what you can to get your woman to change any undesirable behavior she has, you should never count on a woman to change... and you should never think you'll change her.

Today we hit the streets of Bucharest and find out from some cute Romanian girls whether men and women can be just friends.

Check it out!

When you go out to pick up women, you won’t always be talking to girls. These tips will help you avoid looking lame when you’re alone between sets.

When you head out to pick up women, you will realize that you usually spend a lot of time alone, not talking to women. It saddens me to say it, but it's true; talking to girls is more fun than being alone or talking to your buddy (at least when you're out trying to get laid).

There are times when you will not be interacting with women. Does that mean you are doing a bad job? Not necessarily. Some nights you will always be in a set because you will feel energized, on fire, and talkative. Other nights, not so much. Every night is different.

Today let’s look at an important but under-discussed subject: what to do when you are out but not in a set or talking to a girl.

Learning what to do when not talking to women is actually pretty important because it's easy to look lame hanging out in a club all by yourself.

This article is suited for night gamers of all skill levels.

If you like to go out solo, this article is especially for you. And if you go out with a wingman, you can still apply these concepts, even though you can always chill and chat with him without looking bad. Just make sure you and your wingman follow these rules:

• Face the crowd to see potential approach invitations

• Don’t appear completely sealed off. Don’t face each other 100%; make sure you also face the crowd and position yourself so you are open to meeting people

• It must look like your bro is the coolest guy you are talking to ever (and vice versa) and that you are having a good time

With that said, let's get to it.