(1) Beginner

Anxiety is trying to imagine and solve every possible outcome, all at once. When you stop trying to control things you can’t, it’s like fixing a flat tire in your game.

Men often come to me in a desperate condition. They say, “I’m not that bad with women. If I could just destroy this approach anxiety, I’d be able to get all the girls I want.”

I feel like a car mechanic who specializes in changing tires. Every car owner may think their car is unique, but I’ve changed thousands of tires, to the point of routine. So while the student is saying “My father never paid enough attention, and my mother was overbearing, and I was a fat kid in grade 4, and…”

All I hear is “My tire is flat. Can you teach me how to change it?”

Has COVID-19 become an overarching seduction wildcard, disallowing your tried-and-true pickup routines? It certainly has for me. But it’s not all bad. Here’s why.

Here in Europe, as in many countries, there’s talk about “rethinking” and “reinventing” ways to socialize. I get chills EVERY TIME I hear this. It activates a deep fear that I may lose everything I love so much, like enjoying a night out, banging chicks at parties, and going on dates in bars.

The thought is terrifying.

I question a lot these days why the authorities and media say this. I am nearing the end of lockdown in my country. People are partying on the weekends (sadly, clubs are still closed). They hang out in restaurants and bars, doing all the usual things again. So, I question the "need for rethinking our social life" rhetoric. Things are getting slowly getting back to normal, although it took a bit longer than anticipated. So what is all this rhetoric for? To scare us? To calm us down? For marketing? I honestly do not know.

But I know that you cannot reinvent “social.” The “social” is about meeting people face-to-face. Skyping is social, so are group chats on various platforms, but they are not social in the strict sense. They are like “social light.”

Humans, even hardcore introverts, are social beings. We need to see people, interact, mingle, laugh, dance, and play. It is part of human nature. Biologists know it, sociologists know it even better, and psychologists think they know it.

First and foremost, there is likely no need to rethink ways to socialize (as the crisis will end eventually), and it is impossible to rethink socialization.

This is what I’ll discuss here. I’ll share my perspectives, and then review some strategies for tackling socialization in the age of COVID-19.

Your body language says loads about you. These seductive mannerisms let women know instinctively that you’re a cool, sexy guy – who’s probably good in bed, too.

To become better with women, you need consistent behaviors. If your behaviors are always insular (meaning you only interact with a few people), her read of you will be different than if you are open and can talk smoothly with everyone.

Consistent behaviors serve as the bedrock upon which a woman sets her level of comfort with you. It helps set up everything else you do with your technique, social proof, or verbalizations.

Some behaviors are obvious, but others are harder to piece together when you are just starting. I want to describe several behaviors you want to embody, so you’ll have an idea of what to work on and why girls’ reactions will change — in your favor.

If you push beyond the temptations of hate toward women, you will find a new land of beauty before you. You will see the beauty in all women, even the evil ones.

Long ago, I wrote two articles. One was about how women will cuckold and dominate you if you let them. Another was about how women are, by nature, amoral.

They were darker-side articles that inspired some controversy. I had been roaming the abyss of human behavior to search for truths that, while hard to swallow, were true.

Long I struggled with these moral questions of whether or not the evils perpetrated by others are always malicious. It’s easy to simply say “I don’t care” when faced with the dark side of women. This is the motto of most tough guys, and there are many tough guys on the internet.

I thought this to be my perspective as well, for a long time. Then, reflecting on my emotions, I realized that I’d lied to myself for a long time.

More and more, guys who succeed with women on dating apps are claiming their way is the 'best way.' But do these guys have superior seduction skills – or are they full of hot air?

When I was a seduction neophyte, cutting my teeth on game, everyone agreed: online dating was good for a few easy lays and a little momentum. Nevertheless it wasn't where you wanted to hang your hat.

There were guys then who specialized in it. But the rule of thumb was, the more into online a guy was, and the less 'real world', the more of an introverted, and frequently kind of odd, guy he was. Online was its own unique niche... but nobody went around equating it with pickup. The two were different things.

Online and pickup/seduction overlapped in some ways. But online always only ever covered a subsection of the skills and tool sets a man learned in cold approach pickup.

Recently, however, there's been a sort of ideological schism.

With the normalization of dating apps, the number of men whose lays come mostly or entirely from dating apps has skyrocketed.

And, increasingly, these online dating guys are getting some rather large egos.

Should you talk to your friends about pickup? Most aspiring seducers end up alienating their buddies when they do, so it’s best to find or build your own community.

What if I told you there was a secret, hypnotic, neurolinguistic routine guaranteed to make any beautiful woman incredibly hot for you? That by uttering one phrase, she will instantly fall to her knees and begin worshiping your Phallic Lord Mushroom Tip?

It doesn’t matter how short, fat, bald, old, brown, or purple you are because it’s fail-proof. This knowledge has been guarded by an elite group of top-level pickup gurus for decades and is just now being revealed to the public. Would you want access to this technology?

That’s how they got me, too.

When I first got into pickup, it was still a very niche, underground community, and that was the allure. They offered a secret knowledge that very few men were aware of.

There weren’t YouTube infield videos with millions of views, and only certain coaches were just beginning to promote a more mainstream, less “hypnotic” version of seduction. It was based on the idea that words alone had power, and less on the more modern, common sense, holistic view of flirtation and self-development. It was very attractive to nerds like myself.

But it was the magic hypnotism that got me hooked. I wanted the Hogwartsian powers of seduction. What scared most normies off the topic was exactly what attracted me. Because if this turned most people off, then it must mean it worked. I had (and still have) the view that most people fear the truth and are a lot like sheep. If they’re running from something, I tend to head toward it.

What sort of person are you? Do you run with the herd, or do you question the narrative?

The next time you want to approach a girl but want to chicken out even more, remember: when it comes to attraction, having flaws is better than being perfect.

There are few skills more useful and powerful for developing your charisma than cold approach pickup. At its very core, all it entails is approaching women to make them feel comfortable enough to let you inside them.

The concept is simple, but the application is hard.

Imagine you’re a robot. You’re given a program, and the code tells you to: walk up to a girl, tell her she’s cute, talk to her for two minutes, and ask for her contact.

A robot would have no problem with this task because it doesn’t feel emotions like fear, doubt, insecurity, or self-consciousness. It would just approach with the correct formula compiled from the Girls Chase seduction database, and make it happen. A robot would know exactly the right techniques to apply, like how to touch a girl, how to make her feel comfortable, the right vocal tonality, plus the proper subjects and replies to elicit positive emotions like attraction, arousal, and intrigue.

What the robot would lack, however, is exactly what makes the best seducers so excellent, which is not necessarily control of emotions, but emotions themselves.

It’s often our flaws and deficiencies that make us charismatic. Not perfection, but imperfection that arouses the deepest interest. Rags to riches, zero to hero, the underdog story.

Science fiction has covered this. The creators program quirks and flaws into AI behavior, just to make humans more comfortable around them (droids). But we humans are naturally imperfect, so to strive for perfection is futile, even if you've been fitted with Borg implants. A “perfect” robotic companion would make us uneasy. We’d always wonder if our AI slave was ready to usurp and replace us. Just like having the “perfect” girl will leave most men insecure that she will leave him.

We should only strive for improvement, not perfection. It’s those who don’t strive for any growth whatsoever who dwell in the shadows, far away from any recognition. They may call themselves enlightened, but even the priest is looking to improve his relationship with his God, at least.

Look at someone like my favorite author, Charles Bukowski, for example. He wrote hilarious books and beautiful poetry that inspired millions to try their hand at writing. He took poetry away from intellectuals and gave it back to ordinary people. He was also a brutal alcoholic, depressive, and a jerk to women. But we love him for his honesty.

If it weren’t for Bukowski’s “flaws,” he wouldn’t have developed his deep understanding of what living a life of poverty can do to establish a man as an artist. His flaws are precisely what made his writings so perceptive and rich.

You don’t need to be perfect, just improving. It saddens me how many of you will never try to achieve something great because the task seems too far away, too impossible — as if you won’t gain anything from even trying.