(1) Beginner

Friends who are needy with women become bad friends to you when women get involved. Best solution? Keep them away from woman stuff.

A couple months back, a member of our forums named Fluxcapacitor shared this tale:

Dudes! I went out with a couple of mates this week an I noticed this girl that I was interested in, my mate apparently seen her a week or so before. He went on to tell me he talked to her (which was surprising because he doesn't approach) and he got her number. She ignored 2 text messages, then he found her on social media (stalker alert...) an she didn't accept the "friend" or respond to his message. I don't think this is going anywhere fast for him.....

I felt like I couldn't approach this girl while he was about (he doesn't have abundance mentality an I wouldn't be surprised if he's already name their future children already :') ) an that it would look like I was stepping on his toes. I also thought to myself she'd have seen me with him so would possibly turn me down or ghost me to so it wasn't awkward but maybe she isn't that considerate......

I decided not to approach due to him cause I felt it would have looked like a dick move, but I don't think he's getting anywhere with it an so there's no harm in it.

Any thoughts dudes?

My response was this:

If you can't tell when you've blown it, it's very hard to fix mistakes. Look for these 10 signs to always be able to tell when you've lost a girl (and why).

Over the years of coaching men to do well with women, I've spotted many key differences between the men who learn fast and the men who flounder.

One of those differences -- the one we'll talk about today -- is the ability to spot the moment in an interaction with a woman where things go from 'filled with potential' to 'crashed and burned'.

No one has a perfect pickup streak for too long. Everyone loses girls, botches courtships, and slips up:

• You approach a girl a wrong way

• You say something to her that offends her and turns her off

• You miss an escalation window she had wide open for you

• You propose the wrong thing and she declines

• You're too aggressive, or not aggressive enough, and she leaves in disappointment

Everybody does these things at least sometimes.

However, what I have realized over time -- and it surprised me at first when it really clicked that it was this way for some guys, and that this was the source of many of their struggles -- was that some guys have no idea where they blown it with a girl.

For many guys (myself included), the moment you get too far off track with a girl you get that gut feeling of 'whoops, that might've done it' and you say to yourself, "Oh drat, missed a move / did that wrong. She might be lost."

This is vital to the improvement process, because when you know where you messed up, it is easy to fix the next go-round. You might be able to fix it during this or on your next interaction with the same girl. More likely, if you really have lost her, that girl is lost, but you can do things better next time with an entirely new girl you do not make that mistake with.

For some guys though, these signs things have gone awry are invisible. Every failed date or approach or seduction is a guessing game for such a man: what could have gone wrong? Why didn't it work? He has no idea. He just knows the date didn't work... but somewhere in there, in that two hours he spent with her, she went from 'interested in him' to 'no longer interested in him'. He just doesn't know where or why.

If you want to improve with girls at any rate faster than a sloth crawl, you need to spot the moment you lost a girl. This is sign what tells you where there's something to fix.

Need to show off a few attractive qualities to a girl who's curious but not hooked? The attraction story is your great and useful friend for this.

An attraction story is a story you tell that makes women listening feel more interested in, excited about, and comfortable toward you.

It does so by showing a girl attractive qualities about the ways you think, act, and live your life, via the story you tell. These same qualities that entrance women also make other men view you as cooler, higher status, and more dominant... so attraction stories really work to make everyone like you more. In the old seduction community they used to be known as a 'display of higher value' (DHV).

Here's an example of a quick attraction story:

So a few weeks ago I was at this bar in another country I was in for a marketing conference. And you know when I go to these things I always go to the lectures to hear what people are doing right now in marketing. I never go to the networking part. I used to do it but I never got anything worthwhile out of it, just got a bunch of business cards I'll never use.

So I went out to a bar on my own and honestly it's a lot more fun than hanging out with a bunch of business people trying to trade business cards who are either bored to meet you or treat you like a piece of meat, depending on what they think they can get from you.

You go to the bar with the locals and you get to have cool conversations with local guys and get random local girls grinding up on you. You have to go by yourself if you do this though because if you go with friends people you intimidate people and they'll stay away. Go solo and it's 10x easier to meet people; you're just some random friendly person anyone can meet.

There's a bunch going on in that story (which I'll break down for you later), but the net effect is you probably end up feeling like the storyteller is a pretty cool, authoritative, knowledgeable guy. If that's congruent with his appearance and behavior with this gal, she is going to feel more intrigued and excited about him when he tells her this tale.

You'll use attraction stories most during the most pivotal times of a seduction:

• When you've first met this girl, and she's open to learning more about you, but not quite hooked

• When you've just transitioned somewhere else with a girl (like to a seated position, or to another venue), and you need to get the conversation going again and want to make her feel like she made the right choice in going along with you

• When you have a little dead time while you're waiting for something else, like for her or your friends to return, or for a bus or taxi to arrive

Used at the right time, the vibe gets more intimate, and you spike a woman's interest in you. She will cozy up more to you, get more comfortable, and open herself up more.

Of course, there's a wrong time to use these too, so let's look at timing first.

Does your relationship feel counterproductive to the life you want? It might be because you are too good for her. Here are some signs it’s time to find someone better.

Have you ever had a girlfriend and asked yourself if you’re too good for her? I have. And that’s about the point when we break up. But a lot of men seem to remain in these relationships, which ultimately turn toxic if they’re not already.

I’ve known men who date women who are obese, alcoholic, sociopathic, racist, ignorant, lazy, materialistic, unclean, stupid — all the worst imaginable traits. Yet they stay with these toxic women for years, some for life.

I could have become one of those guys myself if I hadn’t found this community and learned how to be better with women, to cold approach and learn how to meet new women at will, and develop a taste for self-improvement.

You'll do yourself a favor if you learn how to have abundance with women and not settle for a crappy relationship situation when you don't have to.

I suspect this is more an American problem... in part because I haven't seen it so much outside of America, and in part because America is a nation with people uniquely fixated on "I should get what I want -- all of what I want."

However, there is a certain expectation that a perfect partner and/or relationship should be achievable.

To put that into specific terms:

• It should be possible to find a partner who shares all the same interests as you

• It should be possible to find a partner who wants time together when you want it, and to be alone when you want to be alone

• It should be possible to find a partner with the same love language as you, so you are always happy with her ways of showing affection and she is always happy with yours

• It should be possible to find a partner who always communicates in exactly the way that works best with you, so you always know what the issue is and never encounter drama

• It should be possible to find a partner whose sex drive exactly matches yours, so the sex is never too little, and never too much

• It should be possible to find a partner who's fine to do all the chores that you don't want to do

• It should be possible to find a partner who has all your other requirements, wrapped up into one: your looks requirements, physique requirements, height requirements, intellect requirements, personality requirements, social life requirements. All wrapped up in one

• It should be possible to find a partner who wants exactly what you want from the relationship (more closeness or just a little closeness; one child or two children or ten children or no children; to live a lavish lifestyle, or to live a minimalist one). And that, should you change your preferences at some point, she will change her preferences at the same time, or nearly so, and the two of you won't grow apart

• It should be possible to find a partner who is always pleasing and rarely irritating, and never, ever, ever causes a fuss

The perfect partner, and the perfect relationship.

It should be possible... should it?

Because many relationships end due to what we could ultimately boil down to this one consideration: "She just wasn't perfect enough."

Every guy has a “type” of girl that tickles his fancy more than others, whether it’s about her looks or personality. What can you do to get your type chasing you?

Every guy has a "type." When most of us think of women, we think of physical features first over the personality attributes we seek. Both are important, especially in long-term game (relationships are a completely different skillset from pickup). However, the place to start is to get girls with the physical appearance we want, because this is what will ultimately drive our attraction from the get-go.

If you’re a beginner to seduction or the dating game in general, just learning the ropes around women, you may not really know the “type” of girl you’re actively seeking yet. Most likely, you’re physically attracted to a particular type or an “idea” of a girl, and that’s what catches your eye. Once you start having good experiences and successes with women, your desires will change.

We also live in a time, especially in the West, when it’s very easy to date nearly any race or culture if you live in a place with diversity. For instance, New York City has the density and diversity of almost every culture on Earth, plus all the tourists who visit from around the world (and many women seek short flings with a New York guy). The same dynamic exists in Miami, Hawaii, resorts in the Caribbean, and various locations throughout Europe and Asia.

For some guys, there are tons of options for meeting many kinds of women. Being a New Yorker, I can pursue and date almost any race and culture, whether she’s American, an immigrant, or a tourist. For other places, you don’t necessarily have these options. And even then, it takes some time to find just what kind of girl suits your fancy. Physical appearance is certainly desirable for a single sexual experience. Still, if you want something more than a one-night stand, it comes to more than just physical appearance.

I do think that experience and good game helps you get many kinds of women. However, as you grow better and your tastes morph, you start to specialize in certain types of women, both in appearance and personality. In this two-part series, we’ll cover this in-depth.

In the Internet age, everyone's cavalier about privacy. But now that people are routinely smeared, fired, and jailed for what they share online, should you still be so cavalier?

Right now, everyone's aware of how little privacy everybody else has in the Internet age.

We're all aware of it, but few of us care. Most people are actually pretty cavalier about their privacy.

Most people are on social media. A lot of people want to be big on social media. Pictures of their lives, videos, and so on. They want to blow up and get all those sweet, transitory thumbs up from random people.

Trading privacy for social approval is an attractive prospect when you are younger. I did it; a lot of people do it.

There is an important thing to understand about privacy though, and it is that the stuff you put out there to help you (by making you look cool, giving you a stage to stand on, and the like) can also come back to bite you.

It is important, especially while you're in your more self-focused, self-aggrandizing period of life (typically your teens and early-to-mid-twenties) to do everything with privacy in mind.