You can reduce or eliminate rejection with a few simple
adjustments. #1, test the water first. #2, approach in passing – and
get rejected in passing too.
Hey guys. I hope you are doing great. I have had the luxury of time
to head out regularly again. And whenever this happens, I tend to make
observations – sometimes new ones – and sometimes I might be reminded
of some interesting phenomenon requiring reflection.
This post, along
with my upcoming posts, will be more practical. So I hope you ain’t
dropping the field just because of the cold weather,
because it is time
to get practical... and hopefully you will get dirty.
This time I will discuss some dynamics when it comes to opening in
clubs and bars. There are many step-by-step processes one
might follow
and different ways of opening (the never-ending discussion between
direct and indirect opening)
that all have their pros and cons.
Sometimes a girl might stun you by taking a moral high ground
stance
opposite you. To address this, you must be prepared to seize it back –
with prejudice.
As Thanksgiving (if you’re American) winds down, I’m reminded of one
of the cultural phenomenon we’ve seen over the past few years, with
various people attacking the holiday and shaming those who celebrate
it. “The settlers took this country from the Native Americans,” they
say. It’s
hardly a day for celebration, they tell you.
This movement to make others feel guilt over their heritage is part
of a greater guilt/shame movement in Western society. The latest
American presidential election, to a great extent, was a repudiation of
this
guilt/shame movement; it was to large extent a population saying, “We
will not be scolded and chastised by those who think us their betters
any longer.”
The competition for the moral high ground between different groups
in societies never ends. However, it isn’t just groups that compete for
the high ground; it’s individuals, too.
What holding the moral high ground is really about is frame control; it’s ultimate
frame control. Because if the moral high ground is yours, facts don’t
matter. Opinions don’t matter. Nothing else matters except that you are morally correct... And the
other side, by opposing you, is the morally questionable. Which means
the other side must yield authority to you.
Hopefully, you haven’t experienced anything quite so bad (the
worst-case guys do seem to be a small minority). But maybe you’ve seen
some
flavor of this... You’ve hit a plateau, tried to grind it out, and just
nothing was working. How do you deal with these situations?
In today’s article, I’m going to share with you the approach I’ve
found most helpful for resolving this issue: it’s what I call a
‘tactical reset’.
Before we get to that though, let’s talk about why these hang-ups
happen.
How do you know if a place is good to meet girls at? Look for
these 10
signs: girls out-dress guys, girls are fitter than guys, female body
art, and more.
In my series on ‘game imbalance hypothesis’ – that some places are
easier to meet girls than others, and
that harder places train their men to have more skill at bedding and
dating women – I discussed how to operate in hard and easy
environments. You can read the three articles in the Game Imbalance
series below:
First off, if you haven’t read at least article #3 above, make sure
you read that one. I cover a lot of signs there that I won’t go over in
this article. This article is more about superficial ‘quick scan’ signs
you can look for to make a snap judgment about a place. Article #3
above, on locating low competition markets, digs into the deeper
indications a place will be worthwhile (or not). Also be sure to check
out Alek Rolstad’s article on choosing the right nighttime spot;
if you enjoy nightlife, it’s a must-read.
The ‘quick scan’ signs I’ll go over in this article are all
indicators you learn to look for
subconsciously once you’ve been at this a while and you’ve grown used
to meeting girls in different kinds of environments.
They allow you to get a swift feel for the terrain and make a judgment
about whether a spot is worth investing your time into, or whether you
ought to move on.
I’ve picked up on these over the years as I’ve frequented different
venues, different cities, and different cultures and countries. The big
benefits of being able to read a situation fast like this is the
ability to screen out unproductive locales, but also to endure in
productive ones. Due to random variation,
sometimes you might strike out the first few girls you approach in what
will otherwise be a terrific place for you. If you know it should be
good, it’s easier to weather these bumps without writing a place off
prematurely.
Notes in mind, let’s get to our ten (10) signs a place is great to
meet girls at.
So you want to teach her how to give you an epic blow job. But
where do you start? With the 18 techniques in this article.
You would think that after having over a hundred cocks in her mouth,
she’d be better at this.
Her enthusiasm is on point – she’s devouring my dick like a starving
third world lady who’s only remaining sustenance is my semen. But her
technique? Severely lacking.
I give her a few tips as she has her snack.
“More spit.”
“I want to hear you moan more.”
“You can go deeper.”
Then, I stop her. “Baby, has anyone actually taught you to suck
dick?”
“Seriously? You admitted to sleeping with over a hundred guys, and
NO ONE has taught you?”
“No,” she laughs. “They all told me I was really good!”
“Well, they were probably all too happy to get their dicks sucked
and didn’t want to risk rocking the boat.”
She smiles. “Okay, tell me what to do.”
It isn’t long before she’s gurgling, choking, and pumping my cock
like a pornstar. In the midst of her grand performance, I ask her how
she’s enjoying herself.
“This is so much more fun!” she says to me. “It’s getting me wet as
hell.” Then she goes back to work.
Different venues demand different strategies to do well meeting
girls in. Each of these 5 different venues needs its own discrete
approach.
Last week, we covered 3 different concepts
that could help us in developing a seduction strategy for a given
night. Keep in mind that our focus is based on cold approach seduction, and
that our aim is primarily to increase our odds of getting laid – but
also to get a girl we like.
Screening:
spend more time before the approach, and approach “better leads”
instead of just spam approaching. The catch here is that you approach
less and therefore risk losing some good leads.
Tighter game:
more of a long-term strategy – oftentimes seen as an ideal where you
approach a girl and manage to go home with her due to tight seduction
skills.
Now, the last concept of “tight game” might seem like the most
appealing, but it takes a while to actually build those skills. To
become super tight, you actually have to put a lot of work into it. And
for many men, it leads to a diminishing return – unless you are a freak
like me who just happens to be passionate about this stuff. We will
also see in this post that there will be scenarios where you simply
cannot get away with playing things smoothly – situations where your
seductive vibe and smooth verbal skills mean jack
all.
If the previous post was about
covering concepts, this post is about
practical stuff – probably as practical as it can get. We will
cover a
few different scenarios and see when and where these concepts should be
applied.
Now, this is something that you get better at the more experienced
you become; however, I hope this can give you some ideas on how this
all works out. There is no point in learning the different situations
covered in this post by heart, because every situation is different.
What I want you to do is to try to
understand why I pick certain
strategies over others – and if anything is unclear, you have
the
comment section below to ask questions, and I will clarify things for
you.
Let us get right into it and cover some usual scenarios you might
face – keep in mind I will both cover night game scenarios as well as
day game scenarios.
Being centered offers one of the biggest leaps forward with
dating, self, and life. There’s no easy way to it – it comes from
enduring pain and trial.
The protagonist walks toward the camera, face emotionless, calm.
Then suddenly an explosion erupts behind him. Does he flinch away from
it. Does surprise touch his face. No. He stays calm as the world is
blown to bits – and he’s seemingly untouched from it all as he
nonchalantly walks toward the camera.
You have probably seen countless versions of this scene in quite a
few movies, and it has probably sent goose bumps creeping up your arms
as a side effect. What is it about this scene that puts us in such a
state of awe?
Why is something like this so inspiring – and duplicated so many
times over? Many of us would like to not just see this as a protagonist
on the screen, but a hopeful reflection of ourselves. We want to be the
guy who cannot be affected by the world
no matter how chaotic it is. We want what we see on the television to
be the reflection we see in the mirror. We want to be grounded just
like that figure so often portrayed.
The concept of being grounded has always been the hardest for me to
explain, let alone teach. It is one of those things I cannot show on a
boot camp or fix over the course of days or even weeks. It is something
you have to choose to do in your heart. Because, as cheesy as it
sounds, only once you decide you are going to do what it takes to
deepen this part of you, only then can you achieve it.
Firstly, what is being grounded – what makes a centered warrior?
Think of waves crashing on rocks. Are the rocks strong and resolute, or
are they weak and brittle? Do they stand for ages, or do they quickly
become dislodged or shattered like obsidian? Or maybe it is a tree in a
storm, standing tall and unbroken, maybe bending under the torrent of
wind or outright being broken in half. The idea is that no matter what
is thrown at you, you are always at ease, completely in control of your
emotions.
When you talk to a stranger, this is one of the first things they
may notice about your character, either consciously or subconsciously –
not by what you do, but by what you don’t do. It is as simple as
displaying a warm tone despite receiving
anything but. A steady gaze.
Lack of fidgeting. Being grounded is being unaffected when the
surroundings get testy. When a guy is drunkenly belligerent and tries
to push your buttons, do you let him? When a girl calls you
ugly, do
you care?
“Thanks
for another insight article especially about how “dynamics” really work
and that as long as you can handle situations in the right dynamics,
you can break the rules or at least not follow them strictly. Which
brings back to a question I have in terms of giving help to a girl. So
just a little background, I’m currently dating an au pair, who is
considered a foreigner in this country. So I have helped her with a lot
of things such as improving her English, help her with application for
status extension/change, plus a number of non-fun items, even though
after those items we have fun and sleep together as much as I want. So
more of an early boyfriend status. So
my question is am i doing too much to help her, have you done an
article in terms of when offering help to your girlfriend, what is the
right amount or how to gauge when to help and when not to help and just
let her do it on her own?”
Getting the right balance on how much to do for a girlfriend is an
issue for
more intermediate daters on up. When many men start out, they pay no
attention to a girl’s investment in them, and instead throw as much
investment as they can at her to try to woo her. Once they realize this
hurts them with her instead of helps, they begin to scale it back.
Except, here, they often go too far. How
do you get the balance of your investment right, so you do not make her
feel either over- or undervalued?
First off, if you’re unfamiliar with the concepts of
investment/compliance, or you need a refresher, be sure you’ve read
these articles:
Also read the article linked to at the start of this installment. It
discusses the crucial questions of “who’s doing what for whom” in terms
of the pre-sex courtship.
Having read those, though, you’re likely still left with one tangled
up
question: how do I know when
I’ve invested too much or too little in her?
There’s not an easy answer to this question, but I’ll do my best to
prune some of the vines off it for you here and give you a formula you
can work with.
No one’s dating instincts are perfect. Sometimes you’ll think a
girl is
slutty when the truth is inexperience makes her act too direct.
You don’t realize it until you’re quite experienced with girls, but
your instincts – especially as a beginner – don’t always give you
the most reliable information.
You see this with a lot of inexperienced men, who end up dating very
experienced women, convinced of these girls inexperience and chastity
(check out my article on how to gauge a girl’s partner
count if you want a better handle on this). Yet
the opposite happens too: inexperienced men often write off
inexperienced women because they misread these girls’ inexperience as
confident experience. Even men who are pretty good with girls often
misread these signals.
Today, I’m going to show you 13 things inexperienced women do that
cause men to incorrectly assume they are more experienced with men than
they are.
There’s a theme running through these 13 things, you might notice.
That theme is
this: more experienced girls create
mystery, build anticipation, and embody a feminine air. Less
experienced girls are usually blunt, raw, and over-direct.
Put another way, the more experienced a girl becomes with men, the
better able she is to trigger within men the emotions men most enjoy
from
women. The less experienced she is, the worse she is at this.
Note that none of these are absolutes. There are experienced women
who do these things too. However, if you see a girl do two or three or
four of these things, you can feel be confident she’s likely
inexperienced with men.
That in mind, let’s peel back these 13 things and change how you
look at the women you meet.
You shouldn’t treat her like a ‘10’… Because even the most
beautiful girl is only a ‘10’ to a certain chunk of the male population.
I came across a fascinating 1968 study on male preferences in female
body part sizes this weekend. The study asked men to rate
various female silhouettes, like these:
Then, at a separate date, in what the male subjects thought was a
separate study, the researchers had the same men answer a number
of questions about themselves.
They then compared the men’s body type preferences to personality
attributes and other dimensions to look for correlations. And they
discovered (as you might imagine) that different
types of men like different types of women.
The body type ratings men gave were of figures that looked like this:
And the personality dimensions and background details the men
provided information on covered the gamut, from social interaction
styles to what kind of magazines they read.
We’ll talk about the findings of this study and a few other ones, if
you’re curious to know what your taste in women says about you. But
more than that, the point of this post is going to be to give you one
additional tool to help take the girls you really like off any pedestals
you have them on...
By driving home the point that while you might think she’s a complete
10/10, there are plenty of other men who don’t, and odds are she
doesn’t even view herself
that way.
