What Percent Impact Does Race Have on Attractiveness? | Girls Chase

What Percent Impact Does Race Have on Attractiveness?

race attractiveness and dating
Race is a touchy subject in dating and attraction. How much does it really impact your desirability? Anywhere from +19% to -30%, it turns out.

We’ve talked about race off and on at Girls Chase. My usual advice is to not worry about it too much, because you can’t change it; there are so many attraction factors you can focus on that it’s effectively not that relevant most of the time. And if you get your fundamentals tight enough, you transcend race (or negative racial effects become bonuses – “Oh! I didn’t know X race guys could be like him!”).

William talked about race here: “Everything I Know About Race and Dating Girls”, and Jerome discussed it (with a few thoughts by me) here: “Asian Guys and White Girls: The Secret to Success.” And I called out guys who focus on race (or other subjects) to the exclusion of all else here: “I Can’t Get Girls Because Girls Only Want [BLANK].”

At the risk of opening up a can of worms (i.e., the “my race has a negative impact, therefore I shouldn’t even try” worm can), I’d like to look at some of the actual data on racial preferences... As well as how these change with time.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

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Comments

Lawliet's picture

Thanks for this article bro!

Today is my 1st year anniversary here! (confetti!)
I'm glad to have found you and the community.
Glad we are a family :)

Back on topic,
I'm curious, what caused these changes?
I remember chatting with my friend about this the other day, and we decided culture was part of it.
I argued it was media, but media is also a part of culture.

Which makes me curious if an online dating site from asia, or africa, or india, would the results be same?

What are your thoughts on the reason behind these numbers?

Finally, speaking of anectdotes, what race do you have most ease?
What race did you have least ease?
What did you realize as you became more experienced?

And I remember you adjusted your fundamentals to different races and types of girls, such as facial hair (stubble for asians).
What else is crucial if you target different races or types of girls?
Any tips for each?

Re: My journey and changes in fundamentals
For me, the issue is with asian girls, dyed brownish blonde hair (don't ask me why, I just dig them). Most of them don't even look at me.

So. I decided to work out, get better coats, fitting pants, and following your fashion article to the Tee.
Got a haircut 60$. Posture and eye contact, and deliberateness remained same since I already refined that before.

Surprise! White girls starting checking me out. But asian girls with dyed brownish blonde, ponytail, big boobs, don't look at me. Same with Latinas.

So I thought again. You know what, I'll look at who they hangout with.

In Van, most of them are hanging out with asian guys big muscles, in a black t shirt and jeans skinny fit, or if it's a white guy, it'll be tall, skinny, well dressed (what you usually expect for asians).
Not always, but majority.

Digressing comment: I remember you saying that if a white guy and asian had same top fundamentals, the asian would better the white, no question, because sexy asian males are so rare.

I'm only toned. I try hard but can't get huge no matter what.
I've settled with being tone, I prefer it now over bulging muscles.
So I'm stuck now.

Want to confirm with your observations for my type (idk what category would you say it's in) if mine are right, and what I can do to adapt and attract them besides physical muscle to get them to look at me?

I've changed hair, clothes and walk, things that catches people's look. but if they don't look my way, no matter how great eye contact I have, or physical game, it won't show.

Sorry for the long comment, you've been writing articles all spot on and thought provoking!
Ideas and thoughts bursts through! can't help it ;)

And I've also read articles for How to date asian women by Colt and his filipino article.
So I want to hear your advice on this. They won't even look at me (despite of my hard worked fundamental!). It's as if I didn't change anything.

p.s. what race do you think I am? ^_^
It's tricky. if you get it right, I'll treat you dinner your whole time if you swing by vancouver bro. Whatda cha say?

Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

Cultural shifts... Oh man, anything. When Hip-Hop got popular in Japan, so did black guys. Then later when Korean television dramas became all the rage, Korean men suddenly became hot there. So pop culture plays a role. General behavior of populations within a society have a large impact as well. e.g., how does the average Asian-American guy act versus the average African-American guy act? Anything that can influence how individuals of a given race are perceived at a stereotypical level is game.

For me personally, I had the hardest time with American white girls. It took me a few years to get consistent results with American white girls. If she was a European white girl, no problem. Or Canadian, etc. But American ones I had lots of problems with. The very pretty ones would boyfriend-zone me while the less attractive ones would instantly auto-reject me. My easiest demographics early on were a tie between Asian girls and black girls. Latinas I had some similar issues as with white girls, but not to the same level. Used to really stump me because I had white friends who had an easy time with white girls but could not get black or Asian girls. Different men need different adjustments to better target different demographics, I found. For me, solving white girls more or less came down to adding more of a playful bro-y flavor to my style I didn't have before. Black girls liked my intensity and Asian girls didn't mind it or didn't notice it, but it was a bit much for most white girls; the bro-y-ness took the edge off.

But, for different demographics... My best recommendation is "check out the articles on these":

Re: dyed hair, keep this in mind - a girl dying her hair is basically signaling what she is going for. So, for instance, whenever I see a girl with her hair dyed red, I know I'll have an easier time with her than ordinary (since my hair is dark red, and my beard is a brighter red). I've noticed girls with dyed red hair give me significantly more (and more blatant) approach invitations than any other demographic, even though I'm not so partial to girls who dye their hair myself (I dislike dying / excessive makeup / any sort of body modification, really. I prefer to know what I'm really getting rather than what she wants me to think I'm getting).

Likewise, I've noticed my blond friends tend to have easier times with girls with dyed blonde hair. If she's bleaching her hair, she's telling you she really likes blonds, and probably doesn't as much like folks who aren't blond. You may not want to go to the trouble of bleaching your hair to get these girls, but you could stand to benefit from observing how blond men (or other types of guys she goes for) behave, and emulating that (i.e., see the 'blonde bombshell' article).

Fundamentals, if I was with you in-person I might be able to recommend something, but online it's impossible for me to gauge that well. All I can say is go down your list of fundamentals and make everything better, even the stuff you're already good at:

Then study attractive guys you know or sexy male movie stars, and adopt their mannerisms as well.

As for your race... You're from a Caribbean nation, so good chance you're either black or mixed race. My sense is mixed black and Amerindian. That'd be a zambo or cafuzo in Spanish or Portuguese ;)

Chase

brandoan95's picture

Hey chase,
I can definitely see these trends. I recently set up a tinder and I get almost exclusively matches with black girls (I'm a brother). In person tho, I normally get interest from black and latina girls with an occasional white/Asian girl. I know you and colt have said black guys are Uber aggressive but I'm oblivious to many of the behaviors. What are some common behaviors black guys do that arent appealing to girls of other races? It would be much appreciated man.
-Biz

Brandon Welch

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Brandon-

Sure, no problem. Here are some of the ones that stand out, off the top of my head, as things I see black guys do that white guys / Asian guys more or less never do:

  • Call girls 'girl', 'baby', etc. As in, "Hey, come over here, girl"
  • Tell girls you want to talk to them: "I want to talk to you" "Let me holler at you"
  • Open with touch / grabbing (i.e., not a pre-open, but actually grabbing a girl's arm or waist)
  • Open with a command: "Come over here" "Hold up a second" "Hey, wait a minute"
  • Get sexual much earlier into the conversation / more explicitly sexual
  • Make high risk commands: "You're gonna need to ditch the attitude" "Why don't you tell your friend to leave us alone"

For the record, I've played around with all of these things myself (and probably open with commands more than I should if I've been drinking). Black girls tend to react well to them, but they're pretty hit and miss with other types of girls, in my experience. Generally better to ease up on any of these you do when interacting with non-black girls if you want a higher hit rate with them.

Chase

AKS's picture

Hi Chase,
In-depth article. Can you please write up an article on 'Building a social circle in a new city'.
it would be great if you can clear up some points like:

1. what things/connections might help while shifting location
2. how one can make a circle if one wants to visit the city temporarily, maybe touring various cities around the world
3. how will one host party or stuff in new city, so that he can invite people & create a give & take

-Aks

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Aks-

I've got it on the list!

On hosting a party, in the meantime, check out Alek's article on this subject:

How to Host an After-Party (That Gets You Laid)

Chase

Breeze's picture

Cool info!

These are averages from one website and not from Tinder or Match or any of the others. I wonder how the racial preferences play out on those other websites? Additionally, these numbers are from the demographic of women that choose to create online profiles, which from my experience tends to be women that should be avoided anyway. I've had the best relationships with women who I've met and attracted in person, whereas online women, although easier to initiate conversation with, tend to be more tentative, with many in their jaded phase and skeptical of men. Many are heartbroken and have turned to online because they're tired of "bar game." But because it's online where guys don't need liquid confidence to "approach" online women get bombarded with so much male attention they tend to have a "don't chase 'em, replace 'em" kind of attitude." Which means one major mistake with them and poof, it's over. Also, online women that expressed little to no interest in asian or black men have said so relative to the asian or black men that they encountered online. Those online guys may be squares and not nearly as cool or dominant as other guys that don't go online at all. In fact it is possible that woman who said no to an online asian or black guy would still go to bed with a suave sexy cool asian or black guy that was extremely persistent and sexy. Usually, women I meet outside of clubs that I manage to have relations with tend to give me much more chances than women who I've met online.

And embedded within the averages from is the law of asymmetrical returns. A guy cannot know whether he will succeed with a given woman of a given race until he starts the seduction dance with her. She may or may not be into him for a multitude of unknown reasons. Whether its because of racial bias, she's not attracted to YOU (though she is to other guys of your same race), she is in a bad mood that day and isn't particularly interested in any male attention that day, she is physically attracted but afraid of what her father or friends might say of an interracial relationship or whatever reason.

The point is, rejection is real and since it ain't shit we can do about being rejected (if it's going to happen it'll happen), then you might as well see what will happen. I met amazing women this way: just seeing if a woman would be interested in conversation with me or not. Some of the time not, but when things go well, they go AMAZINGLY well. Those averages, though asymmetrical are what makes seduction so fun but so frustrating at the same time.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Breeze-

I'd second you on avoiding girls from online. And yeah, the data will always be skewed somewhat (or maybe a lot) depending on the venue. Even if you took these same girls and looked at their real life receptions of men of various races, they'd probably differ from how they interact online.

Still interesting to look at changing trends. Impossible to know for sure if changing trends on a particular online dating site reflect general shifting trends in the population at large, of course. If we had trends data from multiple different sites and it matched up, that'd be more interesting. But we don't have that for now.

Asymmetrical returns is absolutely in-play in real life. And fundamentals are much more in-play offline as well - the better these are, the less relevant race is as a factor of influence.

Well noted on the asymmetry making the process more fun yet frustrating. It wouldn't be addictive if you always knew the outcome, of course!

Chase

Breeze's picture

Is this data available on a per city basis? As little info as this info provides, (i.e., it doesn't capture the opinions of the overall population or of people that use other dating sites but not OkCupid), it'd be good to know the OkCupid results for New York, DC, Los Angeles, San Francisco, etc. Also the percentage of OkCupid users in each major metropolitan city.

Also, even if Asian women the most desirable on OkCupid overall, are the numbers the same in middle america where there are little to no Asians? Or are the numbers skewed toward Asian women that primarily reside on the West Coast. And to also break it down in regions of the country, i.e., North East, South, Middle America, West Coast.

Also, it'd be good to know the percentage of OkCupid men/women that are of each race and see how those numbers correlate with the percentages from the general population of each city/region. For example, if Asians make up 20+% of OkCupid users but are only 5% of the American population then we know that the numbers are skewed. Same for other races.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Breeze-

If they do, they haven't released it. Unfortunately, this data was the last they released, and it was over two years ago (they haven't had a blog post since... real shame). I suspect they're looking at everything aggregated together, and you may well see very different local trends if you compared, say, New York to Miami to Sheboygan.

As for the composition, that would make a difference. I've heard anecdotally OkCupid has a much heavier non-white population than the U.S. on average (minorities overrepresented). I'm not sure by how much though and how that breaks down by race. Could be just a bit, or could be significant.

Chase

Vidal 's picture

I guess with white girls (at least on OkCupid it seems), it is either white guy or go straight to owning 10+ cats while being single for life. As a Hispanic guy (note: I don't look white at all) with a thing for white women, this is frustrating. Hispanic men are being rated favorably of all the minority groups but remember, a lot of those latinos probably look white like William Levy as opposed to having darker skin.

TBH Chase, I think I might get why white women (on OkCupid at least but also from what I notice in the real world) are so strongly against going interracial here in the USA. I've rarely seen the attractive ones go interracial all that often. Back when I lived in NYC; it was very common to see hot Asian girls and hot latinas with white guys but it was unheard of to see white girls going interracial unless it with a black guy here and there.

Maybe the cheerios ad that showed a white woman with a black man getting so many hate comments on youtube was very revealing on where the USA stands on interracial relationships these days. I notice even in movies, it is very common to see white men shown as having relationships and sex with women of various races but white women with minorities? Not unless we're literally talking interracial porn!

In America, there does seem to be a powerful double standard for interracial relationships. White guys with women of other races is considered "progressive" when the truth is, there is nothing progressive about it. White guys have been going interracial for a century now (Spanish Colonization of South America, slave owners in the south getting with black women, settlers getting with Native American women, etc.).

On the other hand, attractive white girls going interracial seems to be very taboo. Even in NYC, I noticed that it was quite rare or unheard of for top notch white girls to go interracial. Now some DID go for black guys and the racist folks kept their mouths shut, usually it's because the girl wanted to prove a point I guess, but as for all other minority groups? It was unheard of. When it did happen, the girl was almost always from a foreign country and never an American.

Interracial relationships are progressive and nice in the USA unless they involve attractive white women. I notice this in many parts of the country, it just isn't that well accepted except for in the very few rare parts.

Who knows, maybe it changes in coming years but I can promise you, it will be met with a ton of resistance and anger. You can bet that there will be a serious uprising of angry white males who will turn violent the day seeing hot blondes going interracial starts to become somewhat normal. I think the southern and ESPECIALLY lower midwestern states is where this will be the worst as well. I've known a lot of younger white guys (that's the scary part!) who have said to me that they hate it when white girls go interracial, these same guys have dated interracial themselves too.

All I know is, white women probably have the most to fear when it comes going interracial here in the USA, especially in parts outside of the coastal regions.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Vidal-

Well, keep in mind, percentages are just that - percentages. Even if you had -50% under average odds with a given type of girl, that would just mean if your odds of picking up a girl you were at 0% under average odds were you slept with 1 girl out of every 30 you approached, now you'll sleep with 1 girl out of every 45 you approach. It's a bit more work to get the girl you want, but the best things in life, eh?

That said, top-tier women of every race tend to behave more conservatively, and more conservative behavior includes both less casual sex (the prettier a girl is, the fewer partners she has on average) and less interracial dating. When I see a white guy with an Asian girl, for instance, even if my white guy or black guy friends think she's hot, both my Asian male and female friends will almost always claim the girl is ugly or not that attractive. The Asian girls they find most beautiful almost always go for Asian guys. Many of them behave dismissive toward men of other races. I seem to see more top-tier black women going for other-race men, but they usually seem to go for (and be able to net) the top-tier black men, in my experience.

So the top-tier woman thing seems to be more just a "women behave more conservatively the higher their position in the social hierarchy" trend in general than one specific to American women. You will notice women behave less conservatively outside their home countries, and indeed that the conservative-behaving top-tier women pretty much never leave their foreign countries, so when you see foreign women in your own country they're always either a.) not top-tier, or b.) top-tier in looks but with a strong independent streak and/or strong novelty seeking / sex drive (which invalidates all other "should behave conservatively" stipulations). Foreign women are also detached from their social circles and don't have to worry about reputation concerns, so this is another reason they will tend to operate more liberally.

Chase

Jimbo's picture

Why do you think that is, Chase? I mean what do you think is the reason that pushes the prettier girls to behave more conservatively when it comes to sex and romance?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Jimbo-

Same reason anyone becomes more conservative as they move into the upper echelons.

The closer you are to the bottom, the more you have to gain by upsetting the status quo and taking risks, and the less you have to lose. An unattractive girl who sleeps around a lot is more likely to net an out-of-her-league guy by pure chance than an unattractive girl who only dates a handful of men.

But a very attractive girl is already guaranteed to get a top-tier man - they are all already competing for her, and all she has to do is pick among a crowded field of winners. If she begins to get too wild though, a number of those men will immediately write her off - after all, they're top tier too, and they can easily find another pretty girl who won't be as much of an infidelity, drama, or reputation risk for them.

Law of the universe: those at the bottom take pains to enhance their upside, and don't worry as much about their downside, because there's a whole lot of up to gain and not a whole lot of down to lose when you're at the bottom. Those at the top take pains to protect their downside, and don't worry so much about enhancing their upside, because there's a whole lot of down to lose and not a whole lot of up to gain when you're at the top.

The notable exceptions are high drive / low drive girls at both ends of the spectrum. High drive / high openness girls buck the trend regardless of attractiveness; even the gorgeous ones sleep around a lot. But these girls don't care if they take reputation hits or lose conservative top-tier men because those things aren't interesting to them. Likewise, the low drive / low openness girls, even if unattractive, won't maximize their upside by sleeping around because they don't care about finding a top-tier mate or having lots of sex. They just want a stable, steady relationship with a good-enough guy and they're fine.

But for most people, if you're on the bottom, you want to maximize upside, and unattractive girls do that by being much looser about sex. If you're on the top, you want to minimize downside, and attractive girls do that by being more careful about sex. That doesn't mean you can't sleep with attractive or even super attractive girls (you certainly can), but just that in general they take fewer lovers and are more discriminating about whom those lovers must be.

Chase

Jimbo's picture

It makes sense. Thanks a lot!

JJ's picture

White men tend to be more agreeable, kind, faithful and less jealous, controlling & distrustful. My worst experiences have been Latinos & black men as they're aggressive, disconnected and communication has always been poor. Asian :) specifically, Hawaiian,Pacific Islander men, I adore they're great and BIG. I travel to Guam, American Samoa and the Pacific islands about 3-4 x a year and recently visited Palau I really enjoyed my stay there. American white men i like for fun, not relationships. They're so gullible and irritate me with almost everything they do or say that said of course, there are a few exceptions. When I want a white man i prefer Russians, they're stronger of character yet malleable. Australian white men are cocky and weird (i live in SoCal which outside of Aussie and the UK has the largest Aussie population, I've met my fair share here & in the Pacific) the rest of the European men from South Africa or Western Europe simply bore me to sleep they're weak and meek. For years and still my favorite men are Pacific Islander, Russian (Belarusian/E.E. men included), & Native American men. And I'm a white (freckle free)ginger, a Jewish Belarusian American.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

JJ-

This is really interesting to me!

Question: would you ever have any interest in writing up an article like this?

Maybe something structured like:

  1. Nationality/ethnicity of a man
  2. Stereotypical things men from this place do that are attractive or not attractive
  3. Recommendations to men from that region to be sexier or to be better mates

I think you're experienced enough you could probably give guys solid suggestions without falling into many of the typical traps female advice-givers fall into advising men.

Chase

Charlie's picture

I'll focus on a few comments in this article from 2016

"Black men suffered among every demographic, and the five years between 2009 and 2014 were not kind to them."

Really ?

But here's what's interesting about that it's that men and women think black men do great with women. When I go to PUA seminars people are often suprised to see me there as it's assumed that black men don't need stuff like this.

Truth is being a black man is not an automatic cakewalk in the dating world like so many people think it is. Its not like the wolf in sheeps clothing effect when it comes to a white man that is assumed to be a nice guy but really has game.

Black men are not nearly as popular sexually as some myths claim us to be. Even before I got into the game I was never was a big believer in all that "Black guys are great with women" "Women want black guys"

There are many who believe that most non-black women have a secret fetish for black men, a discreet preference that they hide only because of widespread shaming and racism.

Now this isn’t 100% completely untrue.

The reality, however, is that the typical black male is not that hot of a ticket as far as non-black women are concerned.

A black man who wishes to consider romantic options outside of the black community will face many substantial and stern challenges and you better have the skin as thick and tough as goddam Tyrannosaurus Rex

To black men - Your flake rate will be higher. A women's ASD (Andti Slut Defence) will be higher. A woman's LMR (Last Minute Resistance). Your rejection will be higher. Lotta women will be scared of you, wary of you, but also a lot of women will be nice to you then shoot you down when you try and get contact info.

I understand that women can be like this with all men, but black men are particular case and people underestimate that a majority of women are totally closed off to the idea of dating a black man or any other man outside her race for whatever reason.

The reason that it seems like it might be easier for black guys is because of hyper masculine media imagery of black men.

A lot of women have a fear of being seen as a girl who dates black guys. Many non-black men instinctively recoil when they seea non-black girl with a black man. Girls understand this and feel this, and so many, who may be attracted, shy away from dating a black guy

Now of course black men are not monolith and I'm sure the likes of Drake or Chris Brown (If reading this) will think I'm speaking another language.

Now if your black, that's the bad stuff, the good stuff is that don't focus on your race, I know I just did. But in order to be successful with women, you have to have your shit together. That's means decent place to live, Steady income, Smart dress. And focus on the fact that your a man and she's a woman. PERIOD.

Don't think "She knocked me back because I'm black" Remember black men are like anyone elese, some are more attractive to women than others.

Then I'll move on to this

"Black women strongly prefer black men. But black women are black men’s least favorite demographic, preferring anyone other than black women. However, black men are in turn the other demographic’s least preferred demographic themselves"

This is from OKCupid. This is a majority white western site. So if a black or non-white person does go on one of these mainstream sites then they will be more than likely to be open to having an interacial relationship than on say mono-ethnic sites like blackpeoplemeet.com or asiandating.com

So this makes it seem like black men are running away from black women, but the OKcupid survey is a bit like asking a person who goes to McDonald's every week, what their favourite burger chain is.

Then this comment

"By 2014, white women preferred white men even more, but white men no longer preferred white women. Instead, they strongly prefer Asian women (who also prefer them most), with preferences for Latinas and white women roughly tied at somewhat above average."

I'm not white but sorry I'm not buying that white men prefer Asian women over white women.

SZ's picture

Hey Chase, I'm replying to your comment about having a mission or passion when dating women.

you gave me a link to this guy's list of books to read.

I had a few questions:

1. The thing I think about everyday, my mission you could say, is to prove all of the naysayers and people whove doubted me wrong!

my vision is just me being a success by any means, whether it be a rapper, sports player, bussiness, anything.

I just don't know how I will get to that position, but I do see myself achieving great success.

How can I start this though? how do I make this happen?

I know you'll say to pick something and work on it, but my options are kind of limited, I feel too old for sports, and for rapping, I just think about it from time to time, nothing too serious, but I do think about having a business, but I have doubts because I feel I'm not the smartest of guys to be honest, but I feel that will be the only way for me to be successful at all.

the same with a career, I have doubts because i won't be getting any of the degrees that you have stated that will be useful for making tons of money.

If you could just point me into the right direction on starting my mission I would appreciate it so much.

2. I know one of your missions is to help us, but you don't tell your girls that you do this.
So what is the mission that you show your girls? what do you do with girls that have great careers, but you don't tell them what you really do, but are able to keep them around? what do you show these girls that tell them you have a mission?

3. After looking through the books list you have showed me, I don't really feel that I want to have a life changing mission, but I just want to be financially well off. How can I show them this mission?

4. the confidence that you will be successful no matter what: how do I develop this? I have my doubts that I might not achieve what I want, but I can't think like that, I have to be that 1% that makes it. how can I make this work?

5. even if my mission is not about changing the world, what missions can I develop that will attract career driven women. and that are attainable?

6. I just have no idea what to do, will reading those books provide me an answer, where else can I look?

thanks chase

Author
Chase Amante's picture

SZ-

Proving people wrong is a good motivator. But not a mission. Wanting to be a success is a good objective. But also not a mission. A mission might be, "I am going to launch a rap album that goes gold." Or, "I'm going to be an NBA draft pick." Etc. It's something specific, definable, and just on the edge of achievability for you.

It sounds like business is the most realistic shot for you, so here's my suggestion: adopt a short-term goal of "Figure out what my niche is going to be, learn everything is to know about marketing in it and making money in it, then launch my business." Then once you launch your business you will need a new goal, like, "Reach $100 a day in net income within four months." With the overall mission being building a business of a certain size, reach, and impact.

As for me personally, I will be vague about missions until a girl really presses me on it (or pisses me off by implying that I have no mission). At which point I will just tell her look, I am going to change the world, I am going to change it for the better, and you can either hop aboard and support me, you can get off my case about it and let me work, or you can get out of my life and I will find a girl who's on board with me. If she presses me more I will say the first thing I need to do is get my current business to a certain size. Then I launch my first BIG business. Then I leverage the outcomes from that and move onto my next objective on my list.

"Financially well off" I guess is a mission, but it's not a very exciting mission. Exciting missions are big missions. That said, if you're not going for super ambitious women, you don't need super large missions. So this isn't necessarily a handicap. So long as you have something you're working for - it might just be "I want to be in a position to be able to buy my mother a new home and not sweat the impact on my bank account" - it's fine.

Confidence to succeed no matter what: start doing small things, win at them, and build up to it. Success is a muscle; as you exercise it more, it gets stronger, and you have more faith in your ability to lift heavy things.

Chase

SZ's picture

Chase,

after reading the article "she'll get what she wants" and the comments you have opened my eyes so much!

The comments that I am talking about specifically that have caught my eye, was the one between you and jimbo. you guys talked about men cheating on their women, and even showed a twitter picture saying that they want that.

I know you're not telling us that we have to cheat, but should we?

I have heard from girls including mines that they would be mad, but they rather us fuck girls than to have relationships with them, but they are not saying they want us to do that on purpose, but are they?

I have not been sleeping with other girls because I just don't want to hurt her, plus i dont think i couod hide it well with my conscience, but if it'll help, I will. I want to sleep with other women anyway, but I still like being with her.

I do have a lot of questions to ask you, please bear with me because this type of information is so new and foreign to me. I will try to not ask so many questions, and I have been falling back and working on my own, but this has really surprised me.

I would appreciate it so much if you could answer these for me.

1. I know you are not telling us to cheat, but are you saying that we could or should? I'm going by this comment

"The wild stallion isn't asking for the mare's permission to go mount other mares. He just mounts them and spreads his stud DNA around. The tamed male stallion just stands there staring at the ground even if a bunch of mares are waving their tales at him in heat. Whether she suspects you're the stud or she suspects you're the broken horse, that's the real difference."

are you saying we should take all of the pussy being thrown to us without worrying about it?

from what you said to me it sounds like, we should continue sleeping with girls because that's the manly thing to do, if we don't it's unmanly?

2. If we do sleep with girls while in a relationship, do we tell out girls or do we just not say anything at all?

3. I have been tamed to an extent and I haven't realized it, I have had girls try to give me their numbers and all of that, but I declined because I have a girl, and don't want to hurt her or deal with unnecessary drama. Should I just get the number and see what happens anyway?

4. Girls always break up with their boyfriend or husband because he cheats all of the time, but the article and comments make it seem that it's the best thing to do, so why do women leave?

5. if we get caught or admit do we not act sad or guilty? do we just apologize and say we don't love em, we just fucked and that's it? do we just play it off? how do we keep them in love and is it even possible?

6. how do you not have a girl cheat on you, but you cheat on her constantly? I know you don't want to give out the method, but I'm asking in the way of " how do you expect to keep cheating on a girl and not have to worry she won't cheat on you or harm you in any way?"

7. I haven't met my girls family and she still hasn't met mine, I can tell that she really wants that to happen, I'm not fighting it, but it's not important to me.

if we meet the fam, will that ruin what we have since that's what she wants?

8. my girl has me confused, she says that she doesn't have to worry about me sleeping around so much, I guess because I seem like a good person, but then she fears that I will sleep with other girls?

can you explain this and how do I make her worry about me sleeping with more girls or should I?

9. Is there a limit on how many girls we should sleep with while in a relationship or should we just fuck em all?

Thank you Chase

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Chase Amante's picture

SZ-

The stuff about taking other girls while in a monogamous relationship with a girl... That's going into territory I won't comment on generally. I did in that case only because the commenters were at that level for it and the conversation made sense.

I will say this: the stuff you're thinking of you're simply not in a position to pull off well, not with your level of confidence and, I presume, frame control. And the girls in that Twitter exchange are talking about a certain kind of guy. There is one kind of guy (a minority of men) who can do that and pull it off. But there is another kind of guy (the majority of men) who do that and all it causes is pain, destruction, and disgust. The girls are talking about the kind of man here; they are not talking about the action. Don't get it twisted. It's like girls saying Brad Pitt with his shirt off is so sexy, so you go and take your shirt off too. Unless you've got rock solid abs and a good sexy vibe, the effect will not be the same.

Chase

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