The Importance of Vibe in Attracting Women

Vibe is a HUGE factor when it comes to attracting women. Here’s how to tweak your vibe to more reliably spark attraction in girls, get them on dates, and into bed.

How important is maintaining a positive vibe when picking up women? Long story short, the difference in results between low-energy or moody men and positive-minded extroverts is night and day.

The best supporting data I know of is my own experience, which, as a dating coach, is varied and vast. But there are some case studies that convincingly illustrate the phenomenon, like this one about the “halo effect”:

 

In the video, two groups of women watch a dating proposal made by the same guy. But the guy makes two videos, one for each group of women. In each video, he uses the same script but with a different vibe.

He’s upbeat and expressive in one version, with good posture. In the other, he’s slouching, not looking at the camera as much, and speaking with a less-enthusiastic tonality.

The women who viewed the video with the upbeat vibe generally agreed they’d be down to go on a date with him. The other group, hearing the same script but with less positive energy, all declined.

Same guy, same script, different vibe (tonality, mood, posture, lighting). One video sparked no interest in the guy; the other sparked attraction!

Since attraction is the key factor here, let’s dig a bit deeper and discuss ways you can tweak your vibe to spark it.

 

Vibe Matters to Everyone

It was the vibe, body language, posture, upbeat emotions, and vocal projection that sold the girls, not the content of his words alone.

When Chase asked us if we would like to make YouTube videos, I was hesitant, but I thought, “Why not?” So I set up my camera, sat down, and slammed out twelve videos in three days.

I moved on, satisfied that I’d created works of epic beauty and wisdom, sure to win viewers over. Then my editor contacted me. “Tony. Your energy sucks. Show more emotion. Talk faster. Be enthusiastic.”

The commenters were less direct.

 

Blind Spots

He was correct; my energy did suck. But when I created the videos, I felt super-high-energy. I felt my mood and mannerisms were positive and expressive. They were not. My editor exposed my blind spots, those shortcomings that you can’t see – or choose not to.

A week later, I recorded six more videos. They were much better. Just like learning game, I was learning how to YouTube. I was learning how to game the viewer with vibe, as well as content.

How do charismatic people get so charismatic? They actively work on their presentation.

When I worked as a telemarketer, we would have these motivational morning speeches, Wolf of Wall Street style. We would all hoot and holler and laugh before getting on the phones.

We did this because it’s been proven that if you have a positive vibe before cold-calling, conversion rates are higher. Science.

Since I teach pickup, I have hundreds of live, in-field case studies. I see it. The guys with higher energy do better. They’re just more attractive to women.

 

Low Vibration vs. High Vibration

There is a vibe-based experiment I do at boot camps. I demonstrate the importance of vibe by approaching women in a deliberately low vibrational style – slouching, hands in pockets, poor eye contact, meek, up-talking voice.

“Excuse me. Hi, I think you’re adorable. Wanna talk to me?”

Nearly every girl not only ignores me but actively moves out of my way to avoid me.

Then I say the exact same words but stand up straight, chest out, shoulders back, with laser eye contact and a slight smile, in a loud, clear, and even tonality. Boom. The hook rate skyrockets. The observant client nods in approval – then we go approach more women, then a few more. We make our luck.

 

Positivity Isn’t Limited to “Happy”

It’s important to recognize that we all have different personalities, so no single type of game is right, or will work, for everyone. A genuine pozzi vibe will always benefit you, no matter what form it takes, but what's just as important as your vibe – and possibly even more important – is being genuine.

The guy in the video was by no means "bubbly" or a "the life of the party" kind of guy (though it probably would have helped with that saucy redhead), but the effect of more positivity was palpable. He came across as positive and genuine, so it worked well.

The whole point in being positive is to provide good emotions to your girl, and to avoid infecting her with negative emotions. Women easily get turned off by negative emotions, but they love good emotions like Pooh loves honey. And “happy” isn't the only positive emotion there is to work with, especially after she's been hooked and the two of you are alone.

To illustrate, some guys work best with “low-key” game, meaning their seductive prowess isn't so visible to an observer across the room; but their vibe when they're one-on-one with a girl showers her with good emotions, which can come in many forms. For example, feeling horny is a positive emotion, and practitioners of verbal game (like our very own Alek Rolstad) use things like sex talk to bring positive vibes in the form of arousal. They make a good first impression, get their girl alone with them, then turn on the juice. Intrigue, excitement, adventure, and sexual tension are all arousing. And arousal is a very positive emotion.

So you don't have to be the life of the party to make use of this effect, because a sexy vibe is a positive vibe. The point is to get intimate with her, right? You won't do that by throwing a huge party and being the center of attention the whole time. A lot of guys thrive with quieter types of game, too, because it's just way more congruent with their personality. They're genuine introverts, or even genuinely brooding, but they still attract women like champs. The common factor is this: they all provide positive emotions that spark attraction.

 

Discordant Notes

When you listen to music, you derive harmony when two competing notes match in vibration. They harmonize. If the notes are out of tune, they create discord, an unpleasant tone.

Rock music often uses minor keys, discordant on purpose. They express chaos, rage, confusion, or despair, and then switch to harmonized major keys to create feelings of joy, power, or love.

“One positive thought produces millions of positive vibrations.” – John Coltrane

Consider the vibe you are expressing and whether it harmonizes with hers. If she’s in a negative, low-energy state and you come in bouncing off the walls, you still create a degree of discord.

For example, she’s in a low state. You ask what’s wrong, and she says, “Well, I just can’t stand this stupid class I’m taking. It’s so boring. I thought it would be more interesting.”

If you shot your fist into the air and yelled, “You can be anything you want!” positive though it may be, it would be ridiculous and discordant, even if the words are true. But if you lowered your vibe, changed the note to a major key, and said, “You can do anything you want,” the message will be more effective. It matches her vibe, but it’s slightly more positive.

In general, do not lead into interactions with negativity. Just match the vibe if you want to increase someone else’s state. Then turn up the volume.

 

Leading Conversational Vibe

When she says something negative, you should agree, then turn it into a positive.

Here are some examples:

Negative statement: “This movie sucks.”

Positive response: “It sure does. But it reminds me of this other movie I love. Have you seen it?”

Negative statement: “The drinks here are expensive.”

Positive response: “They are. Thankfully, I got a raise last month and can enjoy the finer things.”

On the other hand, if she’s a super-positive girl, bubbling with feminine energy, don’t be the Danny Downer and follow with bummer comments.

This doesn’t mean you should ignore reality or always be positive. You should still express your own opinions when they truly matter. If your girlfriend is being a straight-up bitch, for example, it’s okay to say “Baby, you’re being a pain in my ass. What’s up?”

Sometimes you need to stand your ground, but the basis of your argument should always be towards improvement, not just complaining for the sake of complaining.

 

Physical Expression for Vibe

Watch this interview with the legend, Bruce Lee.

Many people remember Bruce Lee as a martial artist, but first and foremost, he was a performer. He would spend countless hours practicing talking on camera. He was an actor. Watch how he uses his facial expressions, eye contact, vocal tonality, hand movements, and body language to convey the power and importance of his message.

What would Bruce Lee’s career have been like without his vibe? His charismatic performance is what sucks you in. Now imagine if he made that same speech in a monotone drone, without using his hands, without the intense eye contact. It wouldn’t have anywhere near the kind of impact that made this clip so famous.

Consider that when you’re flirting with women. How can you use your body language, tonality, eye contact, and expressions to hook her attention and raise her vibe and opinion about you? A good seducer is not only aware of the content of his communication, but also how he expresses it.

 

Be Entertaining

The next time you read a great book, watch an amazing movie, or listen to uplifting music, notice how your emotional state changes.

When I read Nietzsche or Tolstoy and I stumble across something illuminating, entertaining, or deeply philosophical, I feel myself light up. I become inspired and often rush off to create something myself.

As a seducer, you want to be the great work of art. That’s why they call us pickup artists and not pickup scientists. As a seducer, you should aim to be so interesting that she can’t take her eyes off you or close her ears to your poetry, humor, and insights.

 

What to Talk About

As for openers, there are plenty of articles here on Girls Chase to get you situated. But when men ask me what to say to girls once you get beyond that point, the most impactful thing I tell them is... to read books. (By the way, this also helps you with openers!)

While it’s generally best to let her do most of the talking, it’s not a bad idea to have interesting things to talk about.

Currently, I’m reading a book called The Secret Life of Trees. Did you know that, even when loggers cut a tree down, all the other trees share their resources to keep that stump alive? In fact, all the trees share their resources equally. Essentially, trees are… communists.

I also read a book called My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday. This book chronicles the deepest, darkest, most depraved sexual fantasies of women from around the world. One of my favorites was a woman’s fantasy of being a slave owner tied up in a barn by a dozen black cotton pickers. They take turns violating her one after the other – and this is what she masturbates to.

Because I read 30 to 50 books a year, my brain is full of this stuff. I read a lot more than pickup blogs – and that’s why I never ever run out of interesting things to say.

Looking for a fun and affordable way to become more interesting? Read interesting books.

The more interesting things that are fresh in your head, the more you can talk about, mesmerizing your listeners into any state you wish them to be in – joy, wonder, fear, intrigue… or horniness.

Be a curious mind, and most issues with “not having something to talk about” will take care of themselves.

 

Is Vibe Just Woo-Woo Nerd-Talk?

Perhaps. But all the best pickup dudes I know talk about it, just like most of them meditate, work out, and visit third-world countries. So, it must be for a reason, right?

I know many of our articles focus on inner game. That’s because whatever happens in your exterior reality is a reflection of your inner reality. Sure, you can be an overweight, alcoholic, perpetually-negative guy and still get girls. Maybe even cute ones. Maybe. But how many guys do you know like that?

Any way you look at it, there is a strong correlation between being incredibly positive, fun, interesting, extroverted, outgoing, and motivated... and attracting women. The more positive chords a guy can strike, the better he’ll do with a wider variety of women. I don’t know any bummers who absolutely slay with girls.

As mentioned before, I’m not saying you need to be Captain Peppydick 24/7. Just consider what works and what doesn’t. This sort of guy might not be you. But then again, are “you” getting the sorts of women you really want? If not, then why not discover what a more positive performance can get you?

To attract the hottest women, increase your positive vibe on all fronts. It’s a formula with absolutely no downsides.

It may not be you yet, but it could be. If you want those incredibly beautiful women, then do what works and discard the rest – starting with negativity.

Tony