The Genuine Man, Part 1: The Arrogant Man

When I first read Chase’s article on being a genuine man, “Secrets to Getting Girls: Better than Jerk”, my mind instinctively rebelled against the notion. “I enjoy being the badboy jerk! It’s part of my identity! Anyone who doesn’t like jerks is just a pussy!”

When you are the jerk, you spike attraction ridiculously hard, especially if your competition is a bunch of wimps, and you rarely feel weak. You’re always the strongest man in the room. Or, if you’re not, you’ll take him down. You will inevitably crush all competition with brute arrogant force and win.

Or so I thought.

Now, obviously I didn’t spend every hour of my life going out of my way to be a prick for no immediate reason. The best way to concisely convey the state of being a dick is thus: I did not put up with bullshit and I went after what I wanted, no matter who stood in my way.

If someone committed an egregious fallacy in an argument or said something I considered boring, ignorant, or entirely off-topic, I notified them and anyone else around of their flawed thinking. Everyone and anyone. Professors, fraternity brothers, my parents, even my closest friends. If someone was being rude and tooling another person, then I would out-rude them and show them who the real dick is here (that’s my job!). If someone was being a pussy or a pushover, I’d tell them to quit being a bitch. To me, I was doing everyone a service. I was waking up the sheep from their hive-mind thinking, while also asserting myself as the most dominant man in the room. Tough love, I thought.

But it’s never that simple. Never.

As time went on, I found myself alienating those around me. I teased auto-rejection out of women who wanted to screw my brains out and men who wanted to be my friend.

Essentially, I was limiting myself. And in the service of what? Pride?

Upon further inspection of my past successes, I recognized something also troubling to my dick-paradigm: I always performed best when I was “genuine”. In these moments I was powerful, in the sense that I maneuvered situations in my favor, and I achieved my desired outcome without emotionally scarring others or making enemies.

The issue then was consistency: I wasn’t always that man.

Sure, once I’d slept with a girl, my veil of superiority would drop and I’d show her my “true self”. Or once friends showed me that they wanted to have a serious discussion, yeah, pretenses would drop, but for a good part of my days I was sort of an insufferable prick.

So there’s a better way... I just needed to surgically implant that state into my body. I needed to evolve.

And recently, I achieved my goal.

With this series, I’ll illustrate my journey from nice guy (i.e., “bitch”) to genuine man (i.e., “boss”), and I’ll lay out all the most important attributes necessary to achieving that state.

In this article, we’ll begin with arrogance, the element that will take you from lame nice-boy to badass jerk. After this article, we’ll see what happens once you live the jerk-life to its fullest; we will examine the fruits of its labor. Afterwards, we’ll take a trip down humble avenue and shed some fat off of that huge ego you’ve inevitably developed. Following that, we’re going to learn how to love. Yes, you read that right, I’m gonna teach you how to love. It’ll be fun! Promise. After that, I’ll give you the most important tool of this entire journey. And for the orgasmic final pieces, I’ll share my greatest insights on attaining the state of a genuity.

As we progress, things might get a bit more nebulous and difficult to grasp on a purely conceptual level. That’s just how it goes and should be further motivation to act instead of only read (but still read!).

One more thing: everything you learn and everything I teach you in this series is just a tool, a raft to carry you further down the river. Don’t get too attached to any one mindset.

Alright, let’s go.

Prepare to Die

Let’s be clear: whoever you are right now, we’re gonna kill him.

This a path of rebirth. If you’re already far along your journey, applicable wisdom will come in later articles, but I invite you to still read this as a fun look into the past, a review of where you’ve been, and a primer for further progress. Conversely, if you’re just starting out, well, prepare for a fun ride. To me, this particular path epitomizes the journey of learning pick-up and seduction. It doesn’t cover nearly all of it in technicality, but it illustrates the transformation of form and character in a budding social artist.

To save us time and unnecessary explaining, I’m not really going to spend any time covering what a nice guy is. We’ll just leave it at this: if you’re not getting what you want from most situations, you are overly nice.

The remedy is simple, too. That nice guy just needs to wither away and die in his weakness.

The weapon is the sword of arrogance. And you’re the executioner.

“I’m Da Bess”

I’ve personally heard every accusation of arrogance you can imagine. I’ve heard it from teachers, parents, almost every woman I’ve been with, and, really, most everyone I’ve ever met. When I hear it from parents and other authoritative figures, it’s usually a reprimand. With women, it’s to tease me and test me, or occasionally, as an insult when I won’t buy into their bullshit and they’re letting their anger out on me.

But I’ve also noticed something about all of these people – they still treat me with respect (even if they’re not thinking anything positive about me in the midst of our conversation). Teachers see me as someone with ambition and girls see me as a man on a journey who won’t take anyone’s shit. Even if they reject me, I would maintain my cocky attitude and they’d leave the interaction with some semblance of respect for me. They may not like me, but they respect strength. Always.

So We Should Be Humble, Right?!

Hell to the yeah. Humility is an underrated emotion that is utilized by the world’s greatest men.

Unfortunately, you’re not ready for humility yet.

Right now, you need arrogance. It is a glorious emotion and mindset, if wielded properly.

Before we proceed, understand two things:

1. Humility and arrogance are compatible

2. To truly understand humility, you must first understand arrogance. To comprehend arrogance properly, one must become arrogant and experience its results first-hand.

“Woah, Hector, the denotative definitions of those words seems quite opposite to each other, ya?”

Well, reality is rarely, if ever, subject to binary categories. We simply use binary categories to make reality a bit simpler for our minds to handle.

Firstly, you should begin with just arrogance, because your ill-conceived notion of “humility” holds you back from attaining your potential. As stated earlier, you’re not getting what you want yet! And that’s your fault. What you probably think of as humility is actually fear, and so you limit yourself in service of a false nobility. You’re not worthy or capable of humility yet.

I don’t endorse the school of “you are already complete”, and abhor “accepting who you are”, at least until you’re worthy of being accepted.

This isn’t some lost pedagogy, either. If you study any religion, martial art, or any discipline, you will quickly learn that almost every system claims, consciously or not, that you need to kill (i.e., change) who you are right now and be reborn as something else.

“Become baptized and be reborn in Christ.”

“Leave the household life, don the robes of monasticism, and strive for Nirvana.”

“Study various martial disciplines and combine them to best conquer every opponent you encounter.”

Notice that ascending any stage beyond one’s self requires a target; a new self. To become greater than yourself, you need to measure beyond your current value, and have an exaggerated sense of one’s abilities – hey, that’s the definition of arrogance!

With seduction, you need to believe that you are the best option for any woman, who can lead her to bed and rail her harder than anyone else out there can. To progress to that reality, at each interval of growth you must hold an exaggerated a potentially unrealistic belief in your ability and potential.

How far does this overcompensated measurement of your potential go? Only way to find the line is to cross it, buddy. And we’re gonna cross that line. Way past the end-zone, boys.

“But doesn’t arrogance piss people off? Aren’t you going to alienate others with your capricious disregard for their feelings and desires?”

Oh yeah it does. And hell yes you will.

But listen, another inevitability is that others will wantonly disregard your desires and feelings for what they want. At least you’re being honest about it (many will not give you the same level of respect).

Don’t get confused here, of course, you should not regularly throw people under the bus, become bitter, and hate others for being selfish, or any of that pussy nonsense. What you just need to realize is that most moralities – any code telling people to “do this or don’t do that” – are usually constructed with the primary purpose of maintaining order.

Everyone is looking out for themselves, and that’s just the way it is. Not bad. Not good. Just is.

What you need to do, then, is decide how to achieve your goals and hurt as few people as possible along the way. That’s it. And arrogance will be the Ferrari that gets you there fast and in style.

See, many people doubt their abilities; they fear the disappointment of failure, but they simultaneously remain depressed at their inability to change circumstances. They’re stuck.

Then they meet an arrogant man. He’s one of the most self-assured men they’ll ever meet. He seems to have an indomitable sense of self-worth and knows that he will attain his goal, whatever it is.

And they cling to his certainty. He is a beacon of direction and momentum.

But enough soapboxing, it’s time to learn how to wield the sword. Let’s see what the weapon looks like.

What Arrogance Feels, Looks, and Sounds Like

Arrogance In Pick-up

The Feel: Arrogance mentally feels like you knowing she wants your dick, even before the approach. You may be a very high-value man, yet some girls still won’t be into you – but you still approach! You leap into the unknown every time you approach a girl and it is arrogant to assume that she will like you. It is! But you still do it! You emanate a vibe of “there’s NO WAY she WON’T like me.”

The Look: The best example of seeing arrogance is without a doubt the winner effect. It’s that feeling of when a man is winning and has no doubt that he’ll continue winning. Pay attention to a guy when a girl is crawling all over him. You feel a pang of jealousy and your dick shrinks a bit as he flashes that knowing smirk of victory. Testosterone seems to be radiating off of him and you wish you could trade places.

I see the winner-effect often when I go out with my best friends – they’re very good seducers and often have women clawing at them. Even though I consciously know not to get jealous, it’s difficult when a friend is in the process of winning – my instincts scream “god, I’m a bitch compared to him” and I feel my self-esteem wane. Recall anytime you played a game of basketball with a dominant and skilled player, or perhaps spent a night nursing a beer like some anti-social nerd while a guy walked around with two hotties under his arm – that feeling. That magnetism.

The Sound: In some instances, statements like “I’m the fucking best” or “All these girls wanna suck my dick” is the evocation of the arrogant man. But very often, this is the shriek of a guy who’s only temporarily riding the winner effect, but will quickly be dethroned by a little rejection. Ferocious and consistent arrogance is heard most clearly in tone. When someone challenges the veracity of your statements or questions, you respond with a deadpan tone –“Yeah, I fucked her twenty minutes into the date; what about it?” Oh, that girl asked if you usually just walk up to random strangers and say hi: “Uhh, yeah. That’s how I meet people.” as you shrug your shoulder and chuckle to yourself.

Arrogance in a Relationship

Arrogance while in a relationship is most evident in the form of abundance mentality and the knowledge of your mate’s lust for you. You’ve slept with her and provided her with many orgasms, adventures, good conversations, and exhilarating emotions. Of course she wants to keep seeing you. You are her superior. Why would she date her inferior?

The Look: When in a relationship with a girl, the look of arrogance is like seeing a guy out with his girlfriend while a different girl flirts with him. He flirts back a bit, but simultaneously always seems to follow a flirtatious gesture or phrase with a look at his girlfriend that reads clearly, “Yeah, other bitches want my dick but I’m here with you baby. Keep being awesome, and at the end of the night, you get me to yourself.”

The Sound: The sweet sound of arrogance in a relationship resonates when you hear your friend talking about his girlfriend and she recently complained that he’s been too distant lately. He lightly laughs that in response she’s starting to get too clingy. “That’s what most people do when they feel something slipping away; they grasp harder,” he says to you.

The Feel: Arrogance in a relationship feels awesome. Let’s say you’re in your room playing StarCraft II to wind down a bit and lose your mind in some strategic fun. Your girlfriend is in the room with you, and while you probably should be paying attention to her, you get lost in your fun hobby. It happens. Well, you’re so damned awesome in the relationship and she loves you so much that while you’re playing, she walks over to you and says “Take off your pants.” You look at her, laugh, and comply. She gets under the desk and while you start a new match, she starts sucking your dick. You feel so good that you send your opponent a message, reading “Hey, I’m getting blown while we play this match. Bet I beat you before I nut.”

Oh, and yes, I won the match before I came.

Arrogance In Life

This is the belief that slowly forms as you cultivate arrogance in the rest of your life. You begin to believe that you are capable of becoming the best or at least among the elite in every field you dedicate yourself to.

The Feel: As you walk around in your daily life or engage in any activity, you do so with a pep in your step and a vigor that is slightly faster and more determined than other people. Even as you ride the bus or during some other monotonous activity, you feel yourself approaching your goals with unwavering resolve.

The Look: Swag, man, swag. Unrestricted movements and body language. But also refinement. An arrogant man is in fantastic shape, because he knows the role physical appearance plays in the world. He cares about his fashion, because he knows others, again, value and appraise appearance relentlessly.

The Sound: You speak with conviction, even when you’re discussing an unfamiliar topic or are quite possibly in the wrong. Still, you maintain your strength. You’ll eventually eradicate your ignorance or, if you’re in the wrong, you’ll learn from your mistake. Doesn’t change your overall awesomeness!

A few thoughts that might cross an arrogant man’s mind:

“I can better compartmentalize my finances than most around me. They spend money on frivolous trinkets or drown their wallets in alcohol/drugs; I’ll still do things that I want, but with the understanding that my dreams will require me to invest money that I won’t have if I continually lose my earnings in things not conducive to my dreams.”

“I can cultivate a healthier lifestyle than anyone else I know. When they’re too lazy to go to the gym or cook a meal, they don’t push through that resistance; they stay home, order a pizza, and let their bodies deteriorate from stasis and malnutrition. Their weakness is my strength. I’m going to spend that extra half hour to cook myself a plate of organic chicken, spinach, and tomatoes. I’m going to stick to my gym schedule – no days off.”

“I’m tired of seeing my friends get stuck with sub-par women or become needy for affection. Yeah, I want sex and enjoy intimacy, but I want to be the one who’s in charge; the guy who doesn’t leash women into relationships out of fear of loss or succumb to the demands of his girlfriend out of fear that she won’t sleep with him tonight. And I’m going to get the highest caliber women the world can offer. If my game or fundamentals aren’t tight enough yet to attract those women, no big deal – I’m willing to grind day in and day out, because I’m not satisfied with average. The blood, sweat, and tears are worth it.”

As you may notice, it’s about believing you’re the greatest thing to happen to women since the clitoris, even if that’s not true!

So, do these thoughts and mindsets sound appealing? Great! Now, if I’ve successfully sold you the Arrogant Pill, here’s the dosage, my darlings (results may vary).

Cultivating Arrogance

Before I begin, lemme just clarify. The more accurate title for this article is “How To Be a Fucking Dick”. Cuz that’s what I’m going to show you how to do.

For All Da Kids

Make arrogance a part of you. Immerse yourself in arrogant stimuli.

• Hangout with “douchebags”, or those who regularly disregard the desires of others for their own gain. Some are actually good guys at heart, some are truly just pieces of shit; you’ll find out who’s who with time and experience. Overall, they’re highly selfish and you’ll learn a ridiculous amount from them. Their frame control is ridiculously good. Just beware, if you discover a particular guy is an actual douchebag to the core, exit fast, or you’ll absorb way too much arrogance and inevitably suffer the same fate as them – destruction. The only way to distinguish is to see it for yourself!

• Put some more rap in your daily playlist. Listen to Kendrick Lamar’s “Money Trees” or G-Eazy’s“ I Mean It” and tell me you don’t feel like swinging your elephant dick around the room.

• Listen to death metal; a lot of it involves hateful lyrics and some occasional whining, but the energy of its tribal nature fills you with vigor and aggression, a crucial emotion in arrogance. Why do you think directors play heavy metal during the badass parts of a movie where the hero is about to put the smackdown on some thugs? It’s the energy and testosterone! I suggest bands like Gojira, Darkest Hour, In Flames, Dark Tranquility, Parkway Drive, and As I Lay Dying, just to name a few.

Arrogance for the Beginner

When I first started emulating my idol, Tucker Max, I went balls to the wall with my arrogance. This is how you need to start out, too. You need to see first-hand how people react to arrogance. In general, an arrogant act is one which:

1. Is potentially dangerous to your body or reputation, but can yield amazing results or prestige if carried out correctly

2. Is beyond your current skill-level, but you try it anyways

To accomplish this task, you may try to:

• Challenge others when they say something you disagree with; watch how they fumble to defend themselves when they weren’t expecting any resistance. This will teach you dominance. If you hear someone say something stupid, call them out on it right then and there: “Really? You think that’s how to properly fellate a potato? Please...”

• Say really rude things to women and men alike, even if you KNOW it’ll ruin the interaction, just so you can get a taste of what it feels like to be the one driving the emotional rollercoaster. If some girl is acting like a bitch, say to her, “Hey, you’re being kind of a bitch.” This will teach you frame control, how to lead the interaction, and how to maintain dominance. Have you ever called your professor by their first name, just to see how they’d react? Or challenge someone of clearly higher authority, because you thought what they just said was very stupid, or because you want to test their reactions to insubordination?

• Make jokes at other’s expense. This can cover a wide spectrum: on the lighter side, you might tease someone about how they just forgot something really obvious and simple; they’ll probably laugh with you. On the darker side, you may joke at them that their IQ is severely close to officially retarded and that their mothers should have aborted them in-utero. They PROBABLY won’t laugh with you, and everyone else will think you’re a stone cold douche, but you’ll know what emotional power feels like. This will teach you outcome independence and how to maintain dominance.

Now, I know from experience that you won’t go as hard as you need to, but I really want you to try and push the limits. Society’s morals be damned; for now, they bind you (and for the most part they always will, but once you really begin to master social skills, they’ll become strings you can pull to your benefit). Right now, you need to be “that guy”. You’ll get A LOT of bad receptions and might even lose a few friends. Wish I could give you an easier route, but if you haven’t yet passed through this stage, you need some intense exposure therapy to reverse all that pussy programming you have inside of you.

You may not see a lot of initial success, but you will begin to feel a change, I promise you. You will begin to respect yourself for pushing boundaries and holding yourself to higher standards – and others, even if they resent your newfound arrogance, will begin to respect you out of fear of conflict, or, more likely, because you do what they’re afraid to do.

Arrogance for the Intermediate

• Experiment with how much you can push the verbal aggression and dickish behavior while also maintaining rapport with your audience, or even still carrying a seduction to the lay.

This tip leans more into learning how to minimize effort and maximize results (remember, arrogance is just a tool, as is anything else I’m teaching you here).

For example, you might be talking to a girl and halfway through the conversation she starts to pontificate on some political viewpoint or espousing a belief in an arrogant manner. When this happens, you should dismiss her point with a tone of “whatever you’re talking about, it’s not important,” but still try to maintain investment and attraction from her.

Once I was at a day-drink event at my fraternity house and this cute little Asian girl was there. I could tell by her demeanor that she was a bit feisty. Immediately after making a rude comment in her direction, she turned towards me, walked up and said, “Oh, so you’re the arrogant and condescending one, huh? Well, I can assure you that I’m smarter than you.”

I just laughed at her and continued to party. She later found me sitting on a couch and tried to strike up conversation with me some more. I knew she was into me, but at that stage I wasn’t yet perceptive enough to know that I should have pulled her then and there. Luckily she later added me on Facebook and reiterated the first thing she ever said to me. I then invited her over to watch some anime and very quickly laid her.

Had I been of lesser self-esteem, I might have engaged in an argument or been thrown off by her challenge – and I’m surprised I didn’t. I was just recently getting good with women, but even in my lack of expertise, I replaced knowledge of women with a temporary armor – arrogance. I had faith in my journey towards mastery with women, knew I was higher value, and laughed at her challenge, as any big dog does to the barking of a smaller dog.

As an intermediate, you have some success behind you; you can actually reflect on your conquests and social victories to bolster this superiority complex with knowledge of your actual superiority. You will still rampantly send chicas into auto-rejection or even lose a few friends, and that’s fine, you’re still going overboard to fully comprehend arrogance’s nature. Balance lies ahead.

Advanced Arrogance

Writing those past few sections seems a bit childish to me now. Truthfully, I hesitated writing this article, because I know a lot of this will result in making people angry and may even break a few friendships if people apply this advice. But as I reflect more, I understand that it only seems silly to me because I’ve done it all; I’ve been there, tested all boundaries of offense and aggression, and now am beginning to reel it back, using it only when necessary (yet still I’ll say something extremely mean or rude, without even meaning to; it’s that ingrained in me).

Arrogance is a weapon that I have sharpened and now use with efficiency.

If you haven’t traveled down this road, however, you don’t see the whole board of play and have neither the right nor the knowledge to dismiss arrogance.

Perhaps a few very observant fellows have bypassed the process of going overboard with arrogance by just noticing the calibration of others, but I haven’t personally met anyone who is a boss and hasn’t had their dick streak (or isn’t still in it).

Those who have risked the affection of others to see the truth, I can advise now that you learn to reel back the arrogance, at least in action. Now, just internalize the belief in your inevitable victory, for whatever goals you set. The arrogance is in your bones; it no longer needs to be flaunted. In short, you have learned how to push the envelope when no one else would and how to act when overcome by fear. That’s what you learn from being a jerk. Let that power vibrate unconsciously. If this seems esoteric, it’s because you haven’t yet done the work. Go read the beginner section again and get grindin’!

Now, with arrogance covered, we next need to see what happens when you become arrogant about your arrogance and endeavor to take on the entire world with just that weapon ;)

Until then, say it with your chest!

Hector