In Colt's piece on female intrasex competition, several commenters asked about the problem of getting a girl into a casual relationship, and keeping her there. To quote Sam, one of the commenters there:
“Very few of them were ok with a strict lover arrangement. All others wanted more than that and whenever I had the nerve to show or say to them that I was not into more than a lover arrangement I simply lost the girl either because she would cut me off or because I would not further pursue her.”
The problem, of course, is that "friends with benefits" is not an end goal for most women. That is to say, a casual sexual relationship - where you are a lover and nothing more - just ain't enough.
You can maintain casual relationships for varying lengths of time, depending on a number of factors, mainly having to do with the stage in her life a girl is at, and your value relative to hers in the relationship. We'll talk more about both of these below.
But the main gist of this article will focus on the four (4) stages that every friends with benefits relationship must follow:
- The Fun Stage
- The Relaxed Stage
- The Restless Stage
- The Decision Stage
... and the varying details on each.