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Name a woman's behavior to alter it. Most people aren't conscious of what they're doing or why… when you make her conscious, you change her trajectory.
People do all sorts of things without being conscious they're doing them.
They engage in behaviors -- often behaviors they don't themselves feel good about -- driven by emotions they're barely aware of.
You, however, at the very least by reading this site, are a student of human behavior. You're more conscious of the things you do and why... and you are more conscious of what those around you do, and why.
And when you point out to someone what he is doing, and make him conscious of it, often that is going to affect whether and how much he continues to do that thing.
If what he's doing is something negative, that shows a trait like jealousy or insecurity, you pointing it out is going to tend to motivate him to assert control over that behavior.
You can use this 'behavior naming' with women to help nudge them into fixing or quitting bad behavior they engage in around you.
Comments
Jealousy
Great article Chase!
One question: can you use this technique when she tries to make you jealous?
Naming Jealousy Tactics
Toon-
You absolutely can!
"Trying to make me jealous, eh?"
She'll typically deny it. But simply knowing you caught her in the act tells her you hold more social power than her.
Chase
Great article
Great article. It seems like common sense, yet you know what they say about "common sense" - it's not always *common*.
So many guys say, "This girl I'm seeing/dating has some behaviour I really can't stand!" My first response is always, "Have you told her?" And inevitably, they all answer "No...."
-Andy
Not Calling Out Disliked Behavior
Andy-
Oh yeah. It's remarkably common.
I suspect it's just tough in general for human beings to slip into a metacognitive way of perceiving the world.
I will still catch myself doing it with things: "Oh man, it aggravates me to no end this person does this!"
Then I will realize I've never directly spoke to the individual about it or asked him if he could just not do that or do something different.
Most people when you point out a behavior are open to changing it. Most people will actually feel some level of shame to have a behavior pointed out to them that is causing negative emotions in others -- most don't want to have that effect.
It's only the odd psychopath/narcissist/Aspie here and there whom when you point out a behavior to him he replies with, "I don't see what the problem is," and won't consider changing it.
And when that's the case, it's still valuable bringing it up... if only to realize this person is never going to change that behavior, and you need to find a way to not interact with that person on those things, or just not associate with that person whatsoever any longer...
Chase
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