Should You Have Sex with Prostitutes? | Girls Chase

Should You Have Sex with Prostitutes?

Chase Amante

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should you do prostitutes
To pay for sex or not? What are the benefits to your game (and life)... And what are the risks?

A few years back, on my article about pornography addiction, a reader named John Jones asked about prostitution:

Chase,

Great article. I do have a major problem. Every few months I get a prostitute. I find that paying $300 for an hour of a blowjob and sex is a good deal but I know I shouldn’t be doing this.

Can you please write an article about prostitution? Or give me some advice. I read a lot of your writings, and I gotta admit, I aspire to be like you and think the way you do. You really do have it together, brother.

Thanks.

All right.

So, let me say before I get into this, there are a lot of men with entrenched, emotional opinions about this issue within the manosphere on the Internet.

Some of these guys love prostitutes, and view any advice against using prostitutes as a personal attack. They see it either as an attempt to undermine their freedom / control them by taking prostitutes away or making their patronage unacceptable (or illegal)... Or they view criticism as a personal attack that undermines their personal value or status as men.

Others of these guys hate prostitutes, and view them as dirty, degenerate, and/or disgusting, and/or view the men who patronize prostitutes as pathetic or weak.

I’m going to come at this article from a different angle.

I’m here neither to condemn nor absolve. Instead, I’m going to talk with you about what I have seen, again and again, repeatedly, among the various groups of men who use prostitutes, and the effects (both good and bad) prostitution can have on men.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.

GET CHASE’S ONE DATE SYSTEM

Comments

Alexander Abraham's picture

Interesting article and I agree with a lot of your points. One kind of related thing that I wanted to add was this: though I've never used a worker myself, I still believe that it's a good thing for all men. The hedonists as well as the ones that want something more romantic.

Why? Because if a man can go pay 100 bucks down the street then women will be more likely to be a little humbler. You see the same things in colleges that are predominantly female. Which is why I'm excited for warmer weather and walking around a few colleges where I've moved lol

Mr. Shark's picture

Hello, Chase

A friend of mine is juggling with this idea of losing his virginity to a prostitute because:
A) he believes she is experienced and will not judge him,
B) it eliminates some stress when he wants to go for sex with "regular" girls and makes him more confident in this area too because he will know what he will be going into,
C) he is 20 years old so he sees it as a time relevant issue because the more time passes, the harder it will be for him to get sex from women he wants because they will get pickier as they age, they will smell it of off him as he gets older if he stays a virgin, and will expect more from a guy of his age.

Would you recommend this?

I understand his reasons but my grounding argument to him was that he might think that getting a girl requires money now, the benefits he thinks it brings him might not be as big as he thinks and it might actually damage him in the long run.

Mr. Shark

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Mr. Shark-

You know, when I was young, I was of the opinion that if I ever had to go to a prostitute to have sex for the first time, it would be this massive personal failure. But now I look back at it and am like, "I bet had I bought a prostitute to just get it over with and not be so neurotic about sex, I'd have cut my learning curve short a few years."

I mean really, my biggest issue with girls at the start was not attraction, it was taking the jump to ask them on dates or invite them home. I'd have girls touching all over me in bars and parties and not be able to do anything about it because I kept thinking, "Man, this girl's probably had sex with like 10+ guys, and had sex hundreds of times with one or more boyfriends, and I've never even touched a vagina before." So if I had to deal with early-20s Chase, I might just go find him the hottest, sweetest, most GFE prostitute around and buy him a timeslot with her to get him over that hump.

Then again, early-20s Chase probably would've steadfastly refused, knowing him. Though maybe if I tricked him to go to the brothel, and then when we got there the girl was super cute and super affectionate and she really turned him on, he might've relented ;)

I'd suggest maybe having your friend read this article from Cracked.com:

http://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-1598-6-lessons-i-learned-los...

There's a list of famous, well-known men (including some inveterate playboys) who lost their virginity to prostitutes there.

My suspicion right now is this probably won't be a bad thing, and will likely help him chill out about sex. However, it'll be different for every guy. If he has hangups or is going to experience it as a major ego blow to 'surrender' and go to a prostitute, maybe he's not ready for it. Doesn't sound like he does though.

Chase

Magenta's picture

Chase, another interesting and fun article to read. So thanks for that.

Since this article is taking a more neutral stand on the topic, how about you write another article that is more for prostitution, such as on how to have the best experience if someone do decide to go ahead and hire a prostitute, and detail out the specific types of prostitutes one can try or experience, such as those cheap hand job/oral ones, regular prostitutes such as escorts, or high end ones such as Girlfriend Experience (GFE).

I had a friend who was very bad with women, so he decided to just hire an escort to get the virgin experience out of the way. Overall it was a positive experience since the girl was hot, it was memorable, and it helped him get some nervousness out of the way in terms of knowing what a female naked body looks/feels like, what a vagina looks like in real life and just overall interacting with a female. It helped him get over a lot of internal fears and boosted his confidence just enough to start working on his life getting better with women. So think of it as an experience that boosted his confidence bit by bit. Since when you are that low on the skill level with women, every little bit helps.

So going back to my point, can you write another article on how to get the best experience from spending time with an escort such as if you do a "in-call" you should bring condoms, lubricants, do certain things to not get nervous and just make the rookie escort experience a pleasant one for both parties involved. Or if "out-call", have your place looking clean, have cash/tip ready in envelop etc.....

Thanks,

Rodrigo's picture

if paying for fetish models to make erotic clips for you would be as bad as hiring hookers for a inexperienced guy like me (i mean, regarding how he views women consciously and subconsciously)? I did that a couple of times during worst phases of my porn addiction.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Rodrigo-

Worse, to my mind.

Porn addiction is worse than prostitution addiction, to my mind. At least with prostitutes you are actually getting sex, so continue to see real women as sexual creatures (even if ordinary women maybe become "insufficiently sexual creatures"). With pornography, you train yourself to ejaculate to a screen instead of inside a pussy, and to associate sexual release with voyeurism instead of the hunt, penetration, and touch.

Even if we're not talking addiction, actually shagging a prostitute physically seems likely to do a better job jump-starting your sex drive than watching a girl on-screen. I'd expect the man who nailed a prostitute to be more likely to pick up a real girl in the next 3 or 4 days than the man who came on his computer monitor to a video of a girl ;)

So, yeah. If both are equally available to you, and both are equal, and of roughly comparable price, I think I'd opt for the real experience over the virtual one, had I made my mind up to do it.

Chase

Rodrigo's picture

Thanks bro, insightful as always. "associating voyeurism with sexual release" I ike this part a lot, because it makes me realize now how some of my fetishes are deeply rooted to my porn addiction... i'm a lot into blowjobs and specific ways of her sucking me off, ways that i find visually arousing. Even though i'm still inexperienced, i'm a very kinky individual and women catch that when i'm away from watching porn for a while lol

I started learning coding some days ago thanks to you. I finally made my mind on what i really want out of life: to work whenever i want, wherever i want, travelling around the world. I'm really liking it, and thanks to some really useful porn blocker i've found, i can manage my porn cravings and i'm getting smarter day after day, feels soo good to be free from it.

I know it's off-topic, but you would help me a LOT if you could tell me (since you seem to have some experience with coding) after around how much time learning Python i'll be able to know it sufficiently to start working, even if it's $2/hour - in websites such as upwork.com. I never worked in my entire life, and i feel so anxious to just start doing it already and finally move towards my financial indepency - i'm almost 24 years old!!

Thank you!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Rodrigo-

Oh man, you know, that's a fascinating suggestion, that there could be a link between blow jobs and pornograpy consumption. I wonder if that's a thing - if guys who've been into porn tend to like blow jobs more, because it's more visual, and they've trained themselves to get off on visual? Never considered that before.

Props on starting to learn to code - and on the porn blocker. Some of the more productive guys I know make ample use of site-blocking software to keep them off of any site that distracts during hours they should be working.

All my experience coding has been piecemeal, only as needed, over the years. So I wouldn't be the best at giving you a time-to-learn for dedicated study. However, I recently recommended Python to a young guy I know who wanted to learn to code, and I had to look up some resources. The one I found was the most recommended resource by guys who know Python well was this one:

https://learnpythonthehardway.org/book/

Here's what it says about time-to-learn on that page (at least as regards that specific course):

How long does this course take?

You should take as long as it takes to get through it, but focus on doing work every day. Some people take about 3 months, others 6 months, and some only a week. I can do it in about 4 hours or less if I hurry and don't do the Study Drills.

The first steps are always the most critical - they're the ones that push you past that early anxiety. For this, I'd imagine the most important first steps are committing to the first few days of actively working on code (sounds like you've already done that), and applying for and accepting that first project or two (sounds like that will be the next step, once you're ready).

Chase

Rodrigo's picture

Yeah, there might be a correlation between a blowjob fixation and porn! I remember reading around here that you're not really into blowjobs, right? And i assume that you also watch porn sporadically, if at all?

And man, this porn blocker i've found is a bless. It's called Pluckeye if you're insterested - it has a delay system that prevents you from instantly having access to a previously blocked website (say the delay is set to 12 hours - you can't have access to the page you want at that moment until 12 hours have passed)... which makes relapsing to porn pretty much impossible.

I'm learning Python through Codecademy.com. I'm a little over halfway through, but i'm pretty sure that i'll re-visit every Python topic again before starting to work on a project. This website's courses you sent seem more complete than Codecademy's, so i'll make sure to use it when i re-visit every topic again, thanks you :)

I did commit for these first few days, but since i started right after a porn relapse, let's say that my mental capabilities were -and still are- somewhat lacking, so i'd get burned out pretty quickly (in few hours). But my memory, focus and logical thinking have been progressively getting better, so starting tomorrow i'm pretty sure i'm able to push it for some extra hours (yay for neuroplasticity!). I'll apply to a project soon enough, hopefully i'm able to complete it and not waste the contractor's time :)

Again, thanks dude... i couldn't thank you enough for helping me with this... if it wasn't for your articles on depression, life purpose (among others) i'm not sure if i would even be alive.

By the way. when you are learning something new, somewhat similar to coding, do you go like for some hours straight without getting burned out? Or do you go in for an hour max and rest for a few minutes before going back into it (like the Pomodoro technique)? Cheers :)

Jimbo's picture

That's the Chase I like! Really well-thought and broken down yet still keeping it real in a "here's the deal" kind of way. I'm saving this for a reread before a possible future trip abroad.

I only slept with a hooker once in my life. It was in between girlfriends. I wouldn't call the period a dry spell because the relationship had ended only like a week before that. And one afternoon while watching Taxi Driver I went "Fuck it, I'm banging a hooker" in my head. I've been born and bred in a state where it's legal (gee, you must wonder which one is that!) and it had to happen sooner or later.

So yeah, I went to the "ranch", picked a saucy-looking brunette, and went to town with her. Cost me 180 bucks then (2011) for one trick, which lasted around twenty minutes. I enjoyed every moment of it, and treated it like regular sex, even more affectionately so actually; and although I'll never tell this to anyone I know in real life I went so far as to cuddle and kiss. So you're probably right on the fact that some of them know how to push your romantic buttons and make you attached to them, at least in the moment.. or maybe it was just me idk.

Other than that it was business as usual afterwards. It didn't really affect my relation with girls, or with anything really; it's just sex at the end of the day. I kept doing as I usually did with girls at the time, which was okay. I'm handsome so that always helped.

Jack's picture

Good point on the abundance benefit Chase.

I have also found that civilian women are also effected by the same abundance. Civilian girls in places with lots of pros are well aware of the competition they face, and it ignites their competitive fire to do what it takes to get you and keep you. They know if they become snotty and non-compliant, you can just walk down the street where you will have 100 other options.

I'm convinced my near 100% first date closure rate in places like Thailand or the Philippines is in part due to girls' awareness of the competition all around them. And it doesn't matter if you're a goodie-two-shoes who would never even set foot in a girlie bar. As long as she thinks you might, you still benefit from her internalized belief that you have an abundance of other options.

Jack

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Jack-

Great point.

The easiest places in the world to get laid coincidentally also happen to be places where prostitution runs rampant.

Which doesn't look like coincidence at all, does it?

Chase

Motiv's picture

It's funny. When I was in my religious phase, prostitution was "bad" because it was evil. Nowadays, I see it as negative for likely the same reason you do, Chase: I want to prove my raw, seductive dominance. I want the women in my life to pine for my cock. Any beta chump can pay… *vomit*

That said, I do see the value of occasional prostitution—like an emergency loan to save a hurting business with otherwise great potential, or a talented artist making use of the welfare system to get things going.

I'll admit, becoming a (dominant) sexual man is about power for me—in my case, nurturing power. I nearly shed a tear about your prostitute girl who cried in the bathroom. I completely understand why you did not want to sleep with her… as well as why she ended up so sad: we want to earn our women via raw masculine prowess (blowing the girl's mind in the process), and simultaneously, she must have felt horrible that you did not want her ESPECIALLY after paying… an awkward no-win scenario. I am genuinely glad she ended up chasing you down for a proper sexual courtship :)

Then again, the hedonist tends to blend it all together: for all of his seductive prowess, he simply cannot get enough… like Oberyn Martell! Maybe I will try prostitution myself some day, but in the meantime, manwhore I shall be.
All Best,
-M

She enters your world… not the other way around.
Tweak your way to the top ;)

Anon007's picture

There was no proper sexual courtship in his story. He just paid her for no performance & she decided to make it up for him when she saw him again, More like a delayed performance for an advanced payment. Also the crying part was invented by her to make him feel good.

Motiv's picture

I am half inclined to agree with your assessment that she decided to “make it up” to him on the second meet up.

On the other hand…

Also the crying part was
invented by her to make him feel good.

This is about as cynical as one can get… even with women being the calculating gender, I do believe they feel genuine emotions too. One particular emotion for them is the need to be desired for sex by attractive men. In fact, that is probably their highest need: aside from men wanting them for sex, a woman is quite powerless in this world.

-M

She enters your world… not the other way around.
Tweak your way to the top ;)

Anon007's picture

I'm not being cynical at all, just a realistic man. Prostitutes are there to give you sex for money not to be liked by their customers and they only see us as a bunch of cash.

AnonMonger's picture

The smarter escorts know that they have to create an emotional connection to convert a john into a regular customer or sugar daddy. 

Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

This one is interesting.
I have seen you say around the site NOT to get prostitutes because they get us in a habit of Money = sex, which isn't the case with everyday life. I thought you already had an article up :)

Re: Expansion on "Hmm"
In your time waster articles, you mention:
"If they do that at opening, it means don't waste your time".

What if it's during the conversation and they do hmm? Maybe can't hear you or it's a "What?" substitute.
I do it all the time when I actually can't hear someone (maybe need to get a habit of using "What" as a stalling tactic).

Or what if they aren't someone you just met, but you two work together or are friends etc.
Does "I am doing Hmmm" vs. "Sorry? What? Come again?" also have an underlying meaning?
Can we still initiate copulation to expand our biological population and also satisfy her desires in this case? :D

Re: "Race dependent fundamentals"
I noticed I get more looks from Caucasians.

I mentioned this before when I got the expensive haircut.
Now I'm trying to find cheap alternatives but still working on it.

Anyway, this expands on your "Your fundamental gets certain type of girls" And I'm guessing what about race?

Either Asians are more subtle and I'm not picking it up or my fundamentals are directed to particular race.
Have you had an experience on what adjustments had better results with particular races?
Black, White, Asian?

You mentioned about the facial hair reception difference from Asians vs. Caucasians.
How about other things?

Re: Fundamental adjusting for different types of girls
If only there was a list of common things for common types out there, and we can play around and see what happens, that'll be amazing.

Formula:
This is her type.
We become that type.
We hit it off :D

Re: Getting her attention in a public Place

One thing I was trying to think of a LOLE way in doing, was to get a girl's attention,
the one I want to open.

If you are next to her, or walking near her then casually opening her.
That's natural to just preopen and start that way.

But if she's sitting across from you, or away from you let's say on a bus, and you're already seated, I would lean across to tap her and get her attention.

I was hesistant to call out "Hey! You!"

Is there a LOLE alternative? Or should I just call out, "Hey you!" or just "Hey" in situations we can't walk over or casually preopen but she is near. Trying to think of a situation besides public transit that this happens, but can't atm.

Thanks,
Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

Yes, absolutely. The "money = sex" view is one of those dark side / jaded views of reality side effects that can come from too much of this. However, there's always flip sides, and not every guy is going to be super affected by a single hooker experience or become instantly addicted. I might've been a little too absolutist in the past; tried to rein in some of my earlier "Don't do it! You'll fall into a black pit and be forever vexed!" absolutism here and better present both sides.

"Hmm?" during conversation (especially if they can't hear you) is okay. Though obviously not ideal. Ideal is if she's struggling to advance the conversation even if she has no idea what you just said.

Any type of her requesting you to repeat yourself is her asking for investment from you, which tips the scales more of who's in charge of whom. It's a little thing with big ripple effects. You'll notice most experienced guys won't repeat themselves when girls do this; instead, they'll change the subject entirely and ask/talk about something else.

Race-based adjustments... Black girls like bold. Asian girls like subdued. White girls like edgy, but neat. Obviously, these are generalizations and you can see differences from girl to girl, but on average that's how it works out. The most night-and-day experience for me was growing a chinstrap and soul patch (discussed here). Immediately, both white and black girls found me much more attractive, and at the same time, Asian girls cooled way off toward me. I switched to stubble later, which killed some of the excitement of white and black girls (but not too much) while restoring my appeal to Asian girls. Seemed to be the best of all worlds to me, and works wherever I go, so I just leave that on usually.

Yes, I have noted on types. We do have some of those articles. Doing more of them will be down to whether we have writers on board who are interested to write them - though I'm sure they'd be fun for some guys to do.

As for getting attention when she's near - least effort way is to lean in conspicuously while making eye contact and grinning, and as soon as she looks up, wave at her. If she smiles back at you, big green light.

Chase

James the Third's picture

There is a lot more satisfaction, personally, in sleeping with a hot girl, equipped with nothing more than solid fundamentals, good game, as well as your looks and intelligence ( which can be all improved), rather than getting it by means of a monetary transaction. After all it's all about the game, the sex just ends up becoming the sweet cherry on top after a point. Nothing like being rewarded after putting in all that effort to improve yourself and your social interactions.

Craig11's picture

Hey, just to let you know, under "Geographic Freedom" it should be "However, the guys I know who are *into* hookers", not "However, the guys I know who are hookers".

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Yeah, that's kind of confusing, huh?

Thanks for pointing out, Craig. Just fixed.

Neo's picture

I'm 23 years old and I've only been with 5 woman, all of them prostitutes. When I lost my virginity i was obviously nervous but i think sex was great, that time sex was...good, she was a model experienced at sex. Then i still was nervous but the idea that sex is great and it must be a 40 minutes carrousel of moans, rough penetration and orgasms appealed to me. Prostitutes ("models") go by and the sex was...good, something slightly better than masturbation but far away from a porn scene. Then when i fucked these bimbo+fitness type of women, sex was still ok but i was like ''wow i need this regularly, look at that body'', and to get somebody like that regularly you need a relationship or one-night stands or pay almost daily and since i've persuaded myself that sex is something ordinary im like ''im not paying for this shit, at least not so often". And since i'm sort of lazy and my self-confidence is ok, im stalled.

Should you have sex with prostitutes? I think if you want a moment of pleasure, you could think about it. If you want more than that, you'll have a hard time.

Jimbo's picture

Cool story but, why are you calling prostitutes "models"?

AnonMonger's picture

A lot of escorts/prostitutes tend to refer to their job as being a model.

AshTheWhoremonger's picture

Good article, you managed to remain neutral and debate both sides logically.

I hire prostitutes regularly, both at brothels and from call girls (I'm from a south-east Asian country, Singapore, where prostitution is legal and regulated) and I want to share my reasons for doing so.

Apart from the reasons you mentioned, I also enjoy using prostitutes to realize my pornographic fantasies. I watch porn a lot and find that non-prostitutes have many aversions to sexual acts that I find kinky. Prostitutes are uninhibited and allow me to fulfill these kinks and they have a special ability to make me feel I'm in a wild and unscripted porn shoot with them. I call this kind the Pornstar Experience.

I also visit prostitutes to get the Girlfriend Experience without the standard relationship commitments like worrying about dating, pregnancy, external affairs, meeting parents, having to schedule my life around her, etc. Prostitutes are great actresses and can make any man feel like a king or the best boyfriend ever. It's all an act of course, but I am paying for a fantasy and I put aside realism to enjoy 2 hours of pure fantasy that revolves entirely and solely around my pleasure and satisfaction.

Prostitutes are extremely cheap here. I can get 1-2 hours' worth of pleasure with a hot girl for the price of a movie ticket. I don't even masturbate anymore; instead of masturbation, I use prostitutes for sexual relief. I watch porn and when I get really horny I just phone a call girl and she'll arrive within 30-60 minutes from anywhere in this tiny country. Then I'll show her some porn videos and tell her I want to do with her what is in the porn video and she'll oblige.

I would say around 30% of the prostitutes I've booked are the "slutty nymphos" type, 10% are the "broke" type and the rest (60%) are the "do it for easy money" types. It's easy to tell which ones are the true nymphos.

My most recent experience was a 1.5 hour session with a cute but hot call girl. She would kneel and suck my cock because she enjoyed being submissive then let me face-fuck her and cum in her mouth and swallow my full load without me needing to tell her. And she also let me fuck her without a condom and give her a thick creampie. After that, she would scoop all my cum out with her fingers and lick them clean. All these without any extra fee or tips.

That was the nympho type, because with the non-nymphos I would have to pay around 10 dollars more just to fuck without condom or cum inside their pussies. And with non-nymphos, they would spit rather than swallow my cum.

I also enjoy prostitutes for the power play. When I am paying I know I have full control over every act and she will obediently oblige and let me lead. There is an incredible feeling and anticipation knowing that this stranger girl is coming to my home late at night just to get fucked by me and to satiate my every sexual desire, nothing else. It's like the most amazing psychological tease ever for a man, an ultimate man's fantasy. Having a prostitute in my home, she naturally becomes even more submissive than if I were to go to a brothel, because she is in my territory.

With prostitutes, I can creampie them without worrying about getting them pregnant because I never book the same one twice so I wouldn't know it anyway. With pickups I can't do that. With pickups, very few will swallow cum but with prostitutes, many will swallow my cum for free. With prostitutes, I can use my bondage equipment and sex toys on them and they wouldn't say no. With pickups, they may run off in fear. With prostitutes, I don't need to worry about being a pervert or showing how perverted I am. With pickups, I always feel I need to be a gentleman.

Also, with prostitutes, I can bang girls who are the hottest of the hottest without needing to worry about whether I fit into their standards or not. With pickups I have to worry about how I look or present myself, what kind of job I have, what my background is, how much money I'm earning, whether I wear nice clothes or not and a whole host of very complicated matters. With prostitutes, I have none of these concerns.

Knowing game certainly helps with prostitutes, actually. I can use game to seduce a prostitute to do something she wouldn't otherwise do with every customer. For example, many prostitutes don't kiss or let customers touch/lick their pussies, but if I am able to get the right chemistry with her or tease her until she gets really horny, she usually lets me deep french-kiss her or finger/eat her pussy.

There are plenty of other reasons why I love prostitutes but these are my main ones.

Jimbo's picture

Dude, you should write a book bro! Nice read.

About the submissiveness part, you know, I rarely see a woman so submissive with a man than when he is having his way with her with his money. She's completely under his wing, even if temporarily, he calls the shots because he has the cash, and you can tell she's gettings a kick out of being made to submit like that to a man with cash. Look at how all these college gals drop their careers to dedicate themselves to housewifing a rich guy and turn themselves into semi-bimbos once they find a strong man who takes them under his wing, make them his, his assistants, maids, and basically fucktoys. There's this Aussie chick on Tumblr who has an erotic page where she writes about wanting to become exactly that ('PhD to bimbo' or something like that), even going so far as to dumbing herself down.

Financial domination is underrated in the seduction circles, mostly because there are so many guys nowadays who let women take advantage of them financially instead of using their money to assert themselves (night and day), so they give the whole providing thing a bad rap. But I think there's a lot that could be written and said about this subject.

AshTheWhoremonger's picture

Hi Jimbo, financial domination certainly has a part to play, but it's not always the case, as I will elaborate below.

The prostitutes I hire are all other Asians like myself (I am Chinese Singaporean), though they come from various countries like Thailand, Vietnam and China. Yes, it is true that what I am paying for each session, although a small amount to me even though I am in the middle-class income level, may be worth a few days of earnings for them if they had worked a normal job in their own countries. So here, having a stronger currency gives me some power.

But another reason is that the stereotype that Asian girls are submissive may actually be based in reality. Although I cannot make a fair comparison between Asians and Westerners since I've never sexually/romantically been with or interacted much with non-Asians in real life, but our Asian traditions and cultures based on Confucianism may have created the foundation for, and perpetuated the feminine ideal of being submissive and subservient to men.

Yet another reason is that every single one of the prostitutes I've hired are controlled and managed by pimps. I've heard that some of these pimps (who I interact with during the booking process) use various methods to train their girls, like having them go through days or weeks of sexual training on how to please and serve their male customers, or learning how to suck cock or move their bodies during sex, or what to say to a man to arouse him, etc., even before they are allowed to start work.

Many of them are also here on agent fees, meaning they are bound by re-payment of fees to their pimp and agent for bringing them here from abroad to work, and so they have to be on their best behavior and service when serving a client to ensure they get return customers and hence repay their fees quicker so they can start making profits because they are here for a limited time.

Jimbo's picture

Asian women may be more submissive than women of other races. However, when I was using the example of women bowing to the rich capable guy, I was still thinking of white women. Perhaps they're not as submissive and compliant as their Asian counterparts, and perhaps we do have a larger proportion of the "you make me a sandwich!" feminist-minded women, but you still a lot of the women becoming like puppy dogs trying to please their provider and liking that. You'll see the women who the most care of themselves physically, who pretty themselves up the most are those who pair up with powerful rich men like those in that Orange County Housewives show or those with a sugar daddy, and I think it's that feeling of being dependent on the guy for their livelihoods that turns them on and makes them good, obedient, pretty stepford wives.

With that said I understand inferring submission to financial power from prostitution is kind of flawed when you consider they're being trained by their pimps and agents as you mentioned. But even then, the girls may not be genuinely submissive to the customers themselves they still to the pimps and agents and they must've been willing to accept their lead and still do because they depend on them for their livelihoods, and that I bet is a turn-on for them. So, pimp, husband, I guess it still applies, and women are pretty much the same, Western or Asian.

Sam2's picture

Chase,

This has been a troubling issue for me. Thanks to you I am considered by other men "experienced with women" and I have the results to back it up. While not yet in absolute abundance, I am very close to my goals with the women I like the most. This means that I am not in scarcity or lack of options.

And yet, once in 2 years, I get the urge to pay for sex, not so much out of unmet desire, but as an emotional reaction to a bad night. I go for a quick "fix" and instead I get a feeling of emptiness and low self-esteem. Just like your 20-year-old self. I did that last weekend after a long time, while, mind you, I currently have active options with women, one of which is close to my dream girl and suitable as girlfriend material.

Does the above description ring any bell, based on your experience?
If yes, do you have any advice of how not to get into this type of situation ever again?

Paul2's picture

Some of us will never be able to attract a woman - so paying for sex is our only way of getting laid. I'm 37 and have never had a girlfriend or sex - or even been kissed - because I don't want to pay for it. No woman could ever want me, so I never ask women out because rejection is always guaranteed.

anonmonger's picture

 

Another reason why prostitution should be legalized. It can stop virgins from metastasizing into Incels...

Dave Hugh's picture

Hi Chase!
What an awesome article! I love the way that both sides of the coin were rationally evaluated and that the final answer is nuanced and not simply a yes or no.
My situation is such that I enjoy sex with prostitutes and have sampled quite a few in various countries. I have a regular partner but still enjoy a whore once a month or so. I feel that it gives me some light relief from a stressful day and as long as I'm not caught, no damage done. I don't want the complications of a sugar baby or a mistress, so this is a good solution. How often do you think is still considered "once in a while"?

Thanks,

Dave

Farbela's picture

Discounting nasty street or crack whores, I've come to realize that prostitutes who take their occupation seriously and responsibly are less likely to give you an STD than your average "real girl" ONS. I've used prostitutes in the past and for the most part these girls were really serious about enforcing condom use and using stuff like baby-wipes and sanitizing gel. Many after sex have also told me that they routinely get checked for STD's and are really strict with contraception.

Meanwhile, with "real girls" things are much more relaxed and they tend (a you also tend) to think higher of them then they really are. We've all had occasions where a condom broke only to find out she was "taking a break from the pill" or hooked-up with a girl and after a few encounters would ask you to leave the condom off (despite de relationship not be exclusive by neither part.

Single women who are active on the dating scene are very hedonistic and at time reckless. They also get fucked by guys that unbeknownst to them have sex with men. So on the STD free department, my money is on prostitutes.

Matthew's picture

Please. I'm 44 and still a virgin. If I can afford her I'll go for her. Why the fuck would I care about anything else? Women are way too picky.

AnonMonger's picture

Holy shit dude. Find a well-reviewed GFE escort and get yourself laid. Seriously.

drex's picture

Firstly, let me congratulate you on a great article here. Very accurate in many ways on most points.. Usually men seem to only consider the cost as it would compare to "dating" when wondering if whoring is wise or not..

Matters such as the fact that it CAN BE ADDICTIVE are rarely considered by most men.

I have on a couple of occasions become pretty HOOKED on hookers, only giving the hobby up when I started to get less pleasure out of the game despite indulging more.. Often, usually in fact, I would end up doing 3 per night, several nights weekly, but it seems that when I do this much sex, it becomes the case that for some reason, the pleasure was less. Quality is variable but I think ones attitude changes, which has an effect on the encounters somehow..

Major addictions to whoring will ultimately have you eventually running out of fresh stock everywhere you go and few whores are worth a return visit..

I certainly would not recommend any man engages in this vice.. But of course, sometimes one just "has to get the dirty water off your chest" as my old daddy used to say.. ! ;)

Bruhaha's picture

Girls in the sex industry such as prostitutes, strippers and pornstars have been conditioned to engage in sex only after a transaction. Am just wondering how one can get to do these girls without money changing hands.

Drex's picture

Be her drivet.. Haha . Or just find out what dating sites she is on because many Ho's are living a double life.. However.. We know how many women on dating sites still expect a man to invest in the "traditional " wsy.. Whining , dining, shopping ..

Huang Qinyuan 's picture

As a former incel who narrowly escaped the horrible fate of becoming a wizard (30 yr old virgin), visiting prostitutes regularly has done wonders to cure my depression and greatly improve my self esteem.

I have severe social anxiety to the point that I dread talking to men, let alone women. I have had nothing but bad experiences with women all my life, girls ignored me in school (unless they wanted to borrow my homework), my own mother was extremely emotionally and verbally abusive.

My depression reached the point where I was ready to go on a killing spree and take as many people down with me before I killed myself. A former coursemate from uni reached out to me one day and helped introduce me to the world of prostitution. Since then, I've gained more confidence and am now able to talk with women in real life without stuttering. My mental health has greatly improved and I'm in a much better mood overall. I also don't see myself as a disgusting ugly creature and appreciate my body (even if the compliments from prostitutes are fake, it's still really nice to hear them. Before this I thought any girl would sooner slit her own throat than to tell me I'm handsome for a million dollars).

I've started exercising and changed my diet to take care of my health and now have a newfound motivation for life, all thanks to prostitutes. Not gonna bother with the dating and marriage to one woman bullshit in this #metoo era though. ;) 

Aneesh 's picture

Great to hear about your improvements. 

I would caution you, however, not to use prostitutes as a crutch. Once you’ve gotten out of a dark place, it’s important to seek safer, less potentially harmful means of self-improvement or discovery. Not saying prostitutes are ‘bad’ (whatever that means), just that they aren’t ‘good’.

Eventually, you may come to find your self-esteem dwindle and subconsciously believe that you’re not ‘good’ enough to meet ‘real’ girls. This will manifest as further depression and a perceived inability to actually meet women who you don’t pay for.

Your mother’s emotional and verbal abuse may have hurt your confidence, but that is in the past now, and your best hope if you truly want to live happily is to put that behind you, ignoring how hard you tell yourself it is. Otherwise you are denying yourself the power to change.

Good luck to you

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