Getting Seriously Good at Socializing Takes a Lot of Very Hard Work | Girls Chase

Getting Seriously Good at Socializing Takes a Lot of Very Hard Work

Chase Amante

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good social skills
To reach the top level of the most socially successful men, you have to hustle harder than almost anybody else.

Guys arrive at Girls Chase with all sorts of different ambitions.

Many guys just want a girlfriend. Some want to lose their virginities, or break a long dry spell. Others are fresh out of a marriage, bouncing back from divorce.

I don't talk about going for really outsize results a lot... because most guys don't really want to be one of the 10 coolest guys in town, or pile up 120 lays. Even if a guy starts out with "That's what I want!" usually past a certain point he realizes actually, he's happy where he ended up: some cool friends, a decent number of notches, a hot & caring girlfriend.

Usually I assume that, beyond that, if a guy is serious about stupidly, ridiculously outsize results -- like, being in the top of the top of men out there -- he'll realize, naturally, that he has to hustle his ass off for a protracted time to get there.

But it occurs to me now that perhaps not everybody does realize that.

One of the confusing things for me over the years has been guys who comment on Girls Chase regularly and talk about the outsize results they want but don't show outsize hustle in pursuit of those results.

While it's true the material on GC will speed and ease your journey, it's a bit like having an expert guide on a mountain climb. The guide will help (a lot!)... but you still have to climb the mountain.

There are no helicopter rides to the top of Mount Everest. Helicopters mostly can't even go that high (they can't usually generate enough lift). If you want to get there, you must train on lesser mountains, you must train rigorously; you must get a good guide, and then you must do lots and lots and lots and lots of very hard work. Most people who set out to make that climb never make it to the top; they content themselves with smaller achievements, when they realize they're happy with those smaller achievements... or that the cost for greater ones is too great for them.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.

GET CHASE’S ONE DATE SYSTEM

Comments

SZ's picture

Would u say that going hard with socializing would equal to a high notch count as well?

Like knocking 2 birds out with one stone? Or would you have to take a different approach if you wanted to focus on a high notch count?

V's picture

Both are unrelated to each other . Social skills and being the top ace in a group of valuable people though , has awesome

monetary or business benefits 

Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

Thank you for social articles! They really are helpful!

So I guess it needs a mix of always socializing and going out + refining and observing + a big wallet for expenses?

Recently, I've been ok with meeting people one on one, tried to start a few group things myself and they were ok.

Now I'm working with group dynamics. I'm not always the one leading which is fine I guess.

No party invites though since most people I meet in class aren't party starters themselves.

I also notice people who are very sociable are people who are talkative and say a lot about themselvesto fill the void and so. And these people are great in group situations. They are funny, they give value advice but it's all about class related things. Still, it is the energy of the party mode.

But this style contradicts with the "sexy mode", being intriguing and not spilling beans, and getting girls to talk more about themselves. I noticed too that when I'm in a fun mode, and everyone around me laughing and getting the mood up for everyone, this reactive showy behaviour that brings the hype, makes me look not sexy. Laughing out loud for one. And attraction for me does go down.

It seems if I have to work groups and be the energy in sociable mode, my attraction goes down. If I want girls, I go unreactive and low but sexy energy. However, I lose the sociable energy of the party, and don't become the energy of the room. Meaning it is best when I put on the sexy when I'm with the girl alone.

But all this mode changing makes me wonder, if there is a way to be able to work the group and still be attractive to girls? Unless I'm missing a key element that makes this style work with girls as well as group dynamics.

Not to mention, if we change modes, it would seem inconsistent. And if the energy mode isn't attractive, I wouldn't be able to get girls attracted in the first place to then isolate them from the group and bring up the sexy mode anyway. But without the energy mode, I wouldn't bring the positive energy in group dynamics. It seems no matter what, I still lose.

How would you handle this Chase?

Thanks,

Lawliet

 

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