Getting Seriously Good at Socializing Takes a Lot of Very Hard Work | Girls Chase

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Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

Thank you for social articles! They really are helpful!

So I guess it needs a mix of always socializing and going out + refining and observing + a big wallet for expenses?

Recently, I've been ok with meeting people one on one, tried to start a few group things myself and they were ok.

Now I'm working with group dynamics. I'm not always the one leading which is fine I guess.

No party invites though since most people I meet in class aren't party starters themselves.

I also notice people who are very sociable are people who are talkative and say a lot about themselvesto fill the void and so. And these people are great in group situations. They are funny, they give value advice but it's all about class related things. Still, it is the energy of the party mode.

But this style contradicts with the "sexy mode", being intriguing and not spilling beans, and getting girls to talk more about themselves. I noticed too that when I'm in a fun mode, and everyone around me laughing and getting the mood up for everyone, this reactive showy behaviour that brings the hype, makes me look not sexy. Laughing out loud for one. And attraction for me does go down.

It seems if I have to work groups and be the energy in sociable mode, my attraction goes down. If I want girls, I go unreactive and low but sexy energy. However, I lose the sociable energy of the party, and don't become the energy of the room. Meaning it is best when I put on the sexy when I'm with the girl alone.

But all this mode changing makes me wonder, if there is a way to be able to work the group and still be attractive to girls? Unless I'm missing a key element that makes this style work with girls as well as group dynamics.

Not to mention, if we change modes, it would seem inconsistent. And if the energy mode isn't attractive, I wouldn't be able to get girls attracted in the first place to then isolate them from the group and bring up the sexy mode anyway. But without the energy mode, I wouldn't bring the positive energy in group dynamics. It seems no matter what, I still lose.

How would you handle this Chase?