8 Signs Your Friend Is a Psychopath | Girls Chase

8 Signs Your Friend Is a Psychopath

Chase Amante

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signs of a psychopath
Psychopaths have tremendous social acumen, but can be very harmful to those closest to them. Here are the 8 signs your friend is one.

They are everywhere. They work with you. They’re in your social circle. They might even be a family member.

Hell, you may even be one.

Psychopaths are everywhere.

Okay, they’re not everywhere. There’s no way to know for sure, but current estimates are that 1% of the population are psychopaths.

And psychopaths are people, except they lack sympathy. Sympathy, not empathy. That’s the big distinction I think needs clarification. If they lacked empathy, they would have a very hard time fitting in with people and manipulating them, since they’d have no idea how those people felt. In fact, it’s more accurate to say that people on the autism spectrum lack empathy. A common factor in autistic people is they regularly have no clue how others feel in a conversation, and they cannot read the most basic of social cues (which are communicated via facial expressions, body language, voice tonality, etc.).

By lacking sympathy, however, psychopaths lack the ability to actually be concerned about you. They lack the emotional response necessary to think “I feel scared for him if he makes this bad decision, so I’ll save him from it” or “He’ll be hurt if I do this to him, so I won’t do it to him.” To conceptually understand something is not even in the same universe as emotionally understanding something. The latter is infinitely more clear.

They may be able to conceptually understand that you might not like it if they bone your girlfriend, but they won’t feel the potential of regret when they consider the possibility of you finding out and being heartbroken.

You can see how this might be potentially dangerous to date a psychopath or have one as a friend. They do not have Nature’s control mechanism of sympathy that serves to prevent mass tragedies in the human species.

Their only concern is what they can get from you, how much it will cost them, and... that’s it, really.

They aren’t fundamentally evil or malicious, but they do have the capacity to be more cruel and malicious than the average person. Given the right conditions, they will strike without a second thought.

It’s imperative, then, that you learn how to spot a psychopath so you can make more informed decisions on what role you want them to play in your life.

Hector CastilloAbout the Author: Hector Castillo

Hector Castillo is the web’s top expert on getting laid in college. In his small town university, he went from World of Warcraft nerd to president of his fraternity in 4 years... And on the way, he bedded close to 50 women. To follow his life up close, follow his Instagram here. His book King of College is due out soon. Listen to the 40-minute interview with Hector on his story and some of his prized tech... and sign up for a 12-week coaching course with him, here:



Motiv's picture

I could write ten-plus comments on this article (spoken as if I am someone of importance — no, just an excited reader!). You bring up so many amazing points. To this day, I still cannot figure out if I am a deeply clever savant or dumb as a box of rocks and just lucky (to not be on the street). It probably depends on the moment :p

When I first heard the feeding wolves story, my immediate thought was the same as yours: why not both!? Feed only the good one and become toothless?? Screw that…

Inner conflict is part of the human experience in my opinion. To deny this is to lie to oneself (and probably others along the way).

And if you’re wondering, it is my belief that all women are inherently Machiavellian and narcissistic.

This sounds like the basis of Rollo Tomassi's work. I don't know how much credence you give to him, but the Rationale Male, for all it's bitterness, has played a major role in redefining my world view, including my most productive work of late.

P.S. I wish I could buy you a nice dinner, as many drinks as you want, and chat you up about life and women some time (oh, and watch you work your magic on the girls).


She enters your world… not the other way around.
Tweak your way to the top ;)

Hector Castillo's picture

Glad you liked it, man.

>To this day, I still cannot figure out if I am a deeply clever savant or dumb as a box of rocks and just lucky (to not be on the street).

I've felt this many times over. I'm not really sure how I'm not homeless.

>This sounds like the basis of Rollo Tomassi's work.

The TRP guys are 85% right but are missing a crucial 15%. A great irony is that he's married, which is pretty anti-TRP, since most RPers don't acknowledge Alpha Providers as a reality, even if they do exist.

>P.S. I wish I could buy you a nice dinner, as many drinks as you want, and chat you up about life and women some time (oh, and watch you work your magic on the girls

Maybe that day will come. If you ever find yourself in Romania, let me know!


Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

hcisautistic's picture

you dont know what youre talking about, im ASPD and its not sympathy we lack its remorse for our actions. anyone who has read the dsm and the criteria for antisocial personality disorder(what the actual clenical defintion is) knows your wrong in your article. 

Gil's picture

Meh. Surveys of violent offenders show that the majority of them are not psychopaths which is actually scarier when you think about it.

Hector Castillo's picture


Don't think I claimed that they are, but your point is everyone can be scary, which is also something I pointed out in the article.



Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

Sergio Carvajal's picture

To an extent, they are correct. But as Chase pointed out in his article on empathy, it’s a trade, not an innate advantage. Psychopaths may be more decisive in morally ambiguous situations, but this can hurt their relationships and friendships, making their long-term decision making less than optimal. Sure, they might screw that hot girl who’s dating his friend, but when the guy finds out, he just lost that social circle and needs to rebuild a new one.

Was the trade-up worth it? Some will argue yes, some no.

I am Dark Tetrad.

First off, I disagree I don't think it's a trade off. For some psychopaths it is, but for high IQ psychopaths it is not. They do have a sensitivity for others walls just that sometimes fuck it. The girl is just that hot, the money was huge. This guy's a chump and doesn't offer much besides me taking it.So fuck the sensitivity, it;s not that they cant'.

Heilbrun analyzed the personality structures of more than 150 criminals and, on the basis of that analysis, differentiated between two very different types of psychopaths: those who had poor impulse control, low IQ, and little empathy (the Henry Lee Lucas type); and those who had better impulse control, high IQ, a sadistic motivation, and heightened empathy (the Ted Bundy or, if you like, Hannibal Lecter type).

Social dominance has been found to correlate with deceptive ability and enhanced ability to decode nonverbal cues. Individuals who are perceived and rated as socially dominant are better at deceiving others, persuading others, and interpreting others’ intentions (Hall, Halberstadt, & O’Brien, 1997; Keating & Heltman, 1994).


Sam Vaknin, an expert and narcissist says: Contrary to widely held views, Narcissists and Psychopaths may actually possess empathy. They may even be hyper-empathic, attuned to the minutest signals emitted by their victims and endowed with a penetrating "X-ray vision". They tend to abuse their empathic skills by employing them exclusively for personal gain, the extraction of narcissistic supply, or in the pursuit of antisocial and sadistic goals. They regard their ability to empathize as another weapon in their arsenal.

I suggest to label the narcissistic psychopath's version of empathy: "cold empathy", akin to the "cold emotions" felt by psychopaths. The cognitive element of empathy is there, but not so its emotional correlate. It is, consequently, a barren, detached, and cerebral kind of intrusive gaze, devoid of compassion and a feeling of affinity with one's fellow humans.

Narcissists and psychopaths also appear to be empathizing with their possessions: objects, pets, and their sources of narcissistic supply or material benefits (often their nearest and dearest, significant others, or friends and associates). But this is not real empathy: it is a mere projection of the narcissists or psychopaths own insecurities and fears, needs and wishes, fantasies and priorities. This kind of displayed empathy usually vanishes the minute its subject ceases to play a role in the narcissists or psychopaths life and his psycho-dynamic processes.

Hector Castillo's picture

I love the analysis. Superb. One of the biggest jumps in my seduction career was learning how to be, as you say, a cold empath, in moments of reflection, to see how things are, not how I want to see them.

Though, I think a lot of your points agree with what I said in the article - it's not empathy that they lack, it's sympathy. I think that's a pretty accurate definition of "cold empathy." I can see how someone feels but not be burdened by the emotion itself. I see it as an equation that comes to me intuitively, but can't prove (like Srinivasa Ramanujan who claimed to take his insights from God but had trouble with technically proving until his mentor taught him proofs).

As I've progressed with my journey, I have become detached from humanity and feel myself becoming less human everyday. I suspect that one "gift" of enlightenment is complete sociopathy...yet it's slightly different. Almost every enlightened being, even the remote ones, choose to help others. Why? They see the universe as a playground devoid of meaning and they have escaped it (almost..you don't attain complete liberation until the body dies. aka paranibbana). So why do they help others? That seems like the most atlruistic move possible - you feel no sympathy for anyone, yet you still choose the help them. Nothing could be more compassionate.

But I have not yet attained liberation, so this is all supposition.

I think your comment boils down to (if I'm not mistaken).

Sociopaths are not devoid of empathy, but sympathy (at least the high IQ sociopaths).

Sociopathy is not a trade-off, but an advantage. I would not disagree with you, but I seem to perform better, at my age and experience level, than most sociopaths I know. I'm only slightly above average IQ (I think I tested at 114 at age 9). I'm very high EQ, though, something that Gary Vaynerchuk has demonstrated has massive potential. If the high EQ (empathy/sympathy) guy makes himself tough and imbues himself with the ability to turn into a sociopath at any moment, might be able to surpass the natural sociopath. But I might just be trying to confirm my own advantage.

However, your comment is great and I don't disagree with anything in it. Excellent.

Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

Alec's picture

Hi Hector

Couple of points on this article. I have some training and experience in this area. While most of your points are excellent, you give some very bad advice. Once you identify a psychopath - a real one - get the hell away. Whatever you think you will gain is never worth the risk.
If they are low-IQ, the risk of a destructive breakdown or poorly-judged theft, social circle damage, etc is very high.
If they are high-IQ you are in mortal peril. Even if not violent, psychopaths are driven by a hidden fear of others.
Not fear, actually terror. This manifests as covertly hostile acts. They literally cannot abstain from them, no matter the incentive they will eventually cause damage. More frequently, there will be a constant stream of minor sabotage or undermining, more noticeable and marked if you are of comparable or greater power or intelligence. Anyone who is better than them is a threat; and it cannot be reasoned with or allied, it must be destroyed.
This is as close to immutable law as you can find in the field of psychotherapy. Don’t mess with with psychos - their bill is always much higher than it seems.

Hector Castillo's picture

I did suggest that maybe it's best to leave them alone, but you can learn from them, too. The risk of complete destruction is high (death, debt, etc), but oftentimes the riskiest ventures are the most rewarding, no? I know of one very good businessman who got fucked over hard by two socoipaths but still came out on top because of it and is now a kind monster of business.

I would be interested in your analysis of another commenter on this article - he claims to be a Dark Tetrad and gave some good information on the subject. What's his motivation in his comment? To slightly subvert my point to prove his superior intelligence? To glorify himself?

I'd like to see what you think.

Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

Redacted's picture

I have another subject I’d like some input on Hector. This will be a bit long but seriously is something on my mind.

You mentioned the bro code being a myth. I was offended by this at first. I always have held it to be sancrosanct amongst close friends.
And then ... I realised. Only once in my life have other friends actually respected it for me. That incidence was a guy (extremely attractive, bad-boy natural with a high triple digit lay count in extreme abundance), who kept it - he doesn’t “cut a Bros lunch”. Every other friend, no matter how close, has dispensed with it when it came to my interest.

This ... shocked me.
What is wrong with me?
I have always expected the bro code to be followed because I always followed it.

I’ve been tested more than once. From my viewpoint, it was not only moral, but logical.
High value close male friendships are rarer, more valuable and more difficult to cultivate than hookups, or girlfriends. Moreover, I trust certain people with my back, I simply couldn’t conscience putting a knife where it hurts in theirs.
SO: am I an idiot?

You always wonder if you really have the morals you espouse, but I got proof again recently.
This sort of thing has happened before too.

My mate, who is my social and economic inferior (he is younger, and works for me), left on an extended trip. He lacks experience with women and has poorly developed relationship management. He landed a very cute, very great girl, but things were rocky. He adored her and wanted to wife her up. While he was away, she made clear that she wasn’t happy and would jump to me, or another friend if I wasn’t interested.
She is my type and a 9, very young and cute. A dream, and super easy to manage if you weren’t totally inexperienced.

I kept her very close the whole time he was away, ensured she didn’t go elsewhere, became her best friend, and never crossed any lines.
I coached him on repairing things and giving her what she wanted, and when it became clear I wouldn’t step behind his back she became disgusted with me and burned our friendship.
Since he started running the relationship better, they stabilised and now they’re solid again. He never found out what nearly happened and never will, as I understand how women work, and he won’t have to if he does his job from now on.

I was fucking tempted, don’t get me wrong.
But that’s not how I roll.

Am I a sucker? My two other closest friends didn’t hesitate to steal the women I was deeply into, one even using my trust directly against me.
If not, how do I screen for people who think like I do?

Hector Castillo's picture

Even if your motivation is ultimately selfish, karma does work. Fucking a guy's girlfriend that you don't know or barely know is far less cruel than fucking the girlfriend of a friend or best friend. I myself have abstained from it many time and never have betrayed a close friend in that way.

Notable consequences:

I sleep well at night. If you're a sociopath, you don't worry about his feelings, but you still might be afraid of retribution. Psychopaths still have a drive for self-preservation.

I reap some karma, but not too much. I've been punished for my sins with onslaughts of jealousy and something that I tangle with to this day. It's slowly dying but not quite dead.

As for the "ultimate goodness" of an act, I can't make that claim. Goodness always comes back to it's consequences and is something the Buddha never strayed from. He never saw goodness as something in and of itself. He always pointed to their consequences, so that's the viewpoint I take.

I think that, practically speaking, you made the right call and found out something dark and hard to accept about women, but something you MUST come to terms with. The locus point of female morality is VERY different from male morality and she seemed to have guessed that the benefits of taking your cock trumped the benefits of staying loyal to him. When you decided not to act on her desire, she went into auto-rejection and became disgusted with your virtue. I'd need to know more about her, but this seems like an innate female drive (though more active in some women than others).

You're not a bitch, but she did think you were. The question is, does that matter?

It might. It might not.

Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

Ingrid's picture

Narcissism=/= Narcissistic Personality Disorder

The former is simply what you call someone with very high self esteem. Everyone is ultimately self-serving sure, but not everyone has high self esteem or sees themselves above others.

However, clinical NPD is much different. It's caused by emotional neglect of a child by one of the parents. This causes the child to create their own version of reality.

If Narcissism is a high self esteem person, then NPD is low self esteem person who lives in la la land. Imagine a person that sees themselves above others 24/7, never takes blame for anything, goes into a baby rage whenever someone impugns their name, along with being very shallow and severly overestimating their abilities. That's NPD. Trust me it's not someone you want to be around.

Being a Psychopath doesn't actually make you automatically Narcissistic. Psychopathy has certain subtypes. A psychopath with a big ego is also a narcissist, whoever not all psychopaths have egos and not all have NPD.

Yeah-umm-hi's picture

Yup! Congrats! You cracked the code! All women are narcissists! Please just explain to me the general low self esteem and self hatred (either of their character, their bodies, or both) many women and girls go through. Also.... Couldn't male psychopaths -hypothetically- be just as dangerous to (straight) women as women are to straight men? No---- because  both sexes are equally capable of walking away from people despite their friggin sexual desires. Also, you do display a lot of narcissistic behavior in this article--so you may want to check who you're pointing fingers at. I have no problem with opinions I don't agree with, but I do have a problem with people who state those opinions as if they're facts and ignore the evidence and facts that contradict them.

kay thanks bye 

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