I have another subject I’d like some input on Hector. This will be a bit long but seriously is something on my mind.
You mentioned the bro code being a myth. I was offended by this at first. I always have held it to be sancrosanct amongst close friends.
And then ... I realised. Only once in my life have other friends actually respected it for me. That incidence was a guy (extremely attractive, bad-boy natural with a high triple digit lay count in extreme abundance), who kept it - he doesn’t “cut a Bros lunch”. Every other friend, no matter how close, has dispensed with it when it came to my interest.
This ... shocked me.
What is wrong with me?
I have always expected the bro code to be followed because I always followed it.
I’ve been tested more than once. From my viewpoint, it was not only moral, but logical.
High value close male friendships are rarer, more valuable and more difficult to cultivate than hookups, or girlfriends. Moreover, I trust certain people with my back, I simply couldn’t conscience putting a knife where it hurts in theirs.
SO: am I an idiot?
You always wonder if you really have the morals you espouse, but I got proof again recently.
This sort of thing has happened before too.
My mate, who is my social and economic inferior (he is younger, and works for me), left on an extended trip. He lacks experience with women and has poorly developed relationship management. He landed a very cute, very great girl, but things were rocky. He adored her and wanted to wife her up. While he was away, she made clear that she wasn’t happy and would jump to me, or another friend if I wasn’t interested.
She is my type and a 9, very young and cute. A dream, and super easy to manage if you weren’t totally inexperienced.
I kept her very close the whole time he was away, ensured she didn’t go elsewhere, became her best friend, and never crossed any lines.
I coached him on repairing things and giving her what she wanted, and when it became clear I wouldn’t step behind his back she became disgusted with me and burned our friendship.
Since he started running the relationship better, they stabilised and now they’re solid again. He never found out what nearly happened and never will, as I understand how women work, and he won’t have to if he does his job from now on.
I was fucking tempted, don’t get me wrong.
But that’s not how I roll.
Am I a sucker? My two other closest friends didn’t hesitate to steal the women I was deeply into, one even using my trust directly against me.
If not, how do I screen for people who think like I do?