GIRLS CHASE MONTHLY SUBSCRIPTION
• Unlimited access to GirlsChase.com
On
our discussion boards, a member
named killerman has run into a
situation where girls are changing date times last minute,
or otherwise being late for a date. Here’s what he had to say about
this:
“right there’s one thing that’s really getting on my nerves these days, and it’s girls agreeing to a time but then trying to change it last minute, then being late. it’s really getting on my nerves, but the thing is how do I express it without coming across as an asshole? i understand that sometimes things crop up but sometimes it seems they do it just because they feel like it. i cant remember a girl turned up to a date on time so maybe it’s their way of testing out guys? like maybe they do it on purpose to piss us off then see if we’re genuine by expressing our discontent?”
What killerman wants to know here is how to express your disapproval to a girl at having her change times or be late.
What I’d like to use his problem for is to answer, in addition to his own question, a slightly broader one: what do you do when a girl is late for a date?
Do you get mad... or storm off... play it cool... or hang in there and wait... or, do you do something else?
Comments
What I would do
I lack serious experience at it, but the thing I would do, I wouldn't be angry on her and wouldn't point it out until it gets serious. Actually I wouldn't blame her for anything... Just...
If she says "oh sorry I am late" and I would like to stay I would say "okay, we'll talk about it later" and if she reminds of it later in apologetic way I would say "okay, if you want to pay me back you can make something tasty to me, I like delicious food" in a nonchalant tone.
The main point I guess is to never blame her for it in offensive way, just to understand and either accept it or replace her.
In both cases no passive or active aggression seems acceptable.
An essential article
Hey Chase,
With online dating as big as it is, this article is essential! Thanks. Three things:
1- Entitled women. I'm so glad you're using this term and acknowledging the negativity of these type of women. I live in Miami and this place is crawling with entitled women who are used to using their looks to walk over men who will put up with their crap and pay their bills. Entitled women, along with narcissistic personality types (the two not being mutually exclusive), are huge red flags and I cannot stress the importance of avoiding these kinds of women when you see the warning signs. With an abundance mentality and game at your disposal, there is absolutely no reason to get involved with these type of emotional vampires who you will never grow from.
2- "I'm late too." I often tell women who text me they're running late that I'm running a bit late too. If they were testing me, it levels the game out a bit and makes her wonder if I'm testing her value. Also, when a woman is late, and she meets up with you, you've been waiting for her so you look like you've already invested too much in her. I like pretending like I literally walked in a minute ago to get rid of that. But like you said, I won't wait too long. I head out if she's taking too long without showing empathy.
3- Chase, you talk about being the lover vs the boyfriend or provider. Do you believe that coming across as a lover can make a girl think you "just want sex?" I ask this because women online often express that they try to screen guys out who are "just trying to get laid." How do you balance coming across as a lover who wants to connect with her vs a guy who just wants to have sex? Are we even trying to separate the two? This is something I can't seem to figure out.
Thanks again for the article. It's honestly a pleasure to read your articles.
Jason
Connection...
Hello Jason,
Never tried the "I'm late too", good one! sounds interesting.
I am doing a lot of online dating with some success, and I see a lot of "guys just want sex" frames, thrown like a barrier at you. Girls are hit all the time with pretty gross, raw sexual requests, and they are excessively frustrated with this. As we know, they want sex too... but only after building a connection. Ignore the "guys just want sex" frame, build the connection, make sure you have sexual undertones, then lead her to bed. Once, I had a first date with a girl. She was expressing disgust at all the gross requests she was getting, and she complained about "guys only want sex". I took her out in a nice setting, listened to her, deep dived into her story, while starting my touch routine. She ended up giving me a hungry blowjob in my car after asking politely "can I suck it?" Connection is what makes the difference.
Another thing I see is "You're a player" thing. Not exactly the same. I am still trying to overcome this. What I think it is, is a frame thrown at you to test your strength. If you give in to it, you will tend to picture yourself as a "good boy" and weaken your lover frame. I think the best way is to ignore and proceed.
Seppuku
I agree about women being
I agree about women being subjected to obscene, overt sexual cues from guys online. I know that it must be done in taste and you have to make a connection to give yourself value as a lover who will not only fuck her brains out but who will make her feel better as a person.
I'm curious what Chase thinks about that balance.
Yeah, the "I'm late, too" thing is something I've implemented because women being late for dates is common place. But what's really late? If you're a laid back person, you may not consider 5-10 minutes late as really being late. Also, being on time has a connotation with being nerdy. Hence the term "fashionably late". I'm pretty forgiving on a girl being late, unless she's like 45 minutes late. Besides, it gives me time to have a cold one to loosen up before she gets there.
Jake
When She’s Late, Providers of Value vs. Takers
Jason-
The “I’m late too” bit is interesting, yeah. I did this my first few years in seduction but dropped it after I received enough “It’s okay, I’m running late too!” texts from girls when *I* was running late, and noticed it came across more reactive than is ideal.
These days a short, “Cool… I’ll be here,” or, “No worries, grabbing a table,” is my preference; says all you need it to say, really.
As for waiting, it’s better to make it seem like you haven’t been waiting long when you’re newer or even intermediate, since this keeps you on more equal footing with her, and sometimes even if you’re pretty good already but feeling out of sorts or are in unfamiliar territory. If you’re good AND comfortable though, making it clear you’ve been there waiting a while, but are relaxed and chill and have all the time in the world while still maintaining a high degree of control and composure is attractive.
Maybe think of meeting your favorite older male Hollywood icon (Harrison Ford? Morgan Freeman?), and you’re running 20 minutes late, and what he does… rather than pretend he’s late as well, he probably just sits there and reads the paper and chats with the café staff or watches the dog running back and forth outside and chuckle to himself until you arrive. That’s really the ideal you want to strive for… super high value. All the time in the world. Not bothered by losing 20 minutes like the everyday 9-to-5 office worker on borrowed time sort is, and perfectly content keeping his own company for a while.
Re: guys who “just want to get laid”, always pay close attention to the subtext, more than the words. What a girl saying this is not saying is, “I’m not interested in the guys who want to sweep me off my feet, give me the most incredible connection of my life, and then blow my mind with knee-knockingly good sex”; rather, what she is saying is, “I’m not interested in the guys who want to phone it in, hound me like a used car salesman, make me feel slutty and low value, and then try to get in my pants.”
There is a giant gulf between the desirable lover who provides an experience a woman wants, whether it’s for one night or one lifetime, and the creepy guy or even the ordinary tryhard guy who’s trying to get sex from her but providing nothing to her she much wants in return.
One guy she desires, and that’s the guy you want to be; the other guy she only wants to avoid… that’s the guy to avoid being yourself.
Chase
RE: When She’s Late, Providers of Value vs. Takers
Chase,
Thanks for breaking down those two points for me. Those were excellent explanations. However, I'm a bit puzzled by the image of having all the time in the world.
I always try to make it seem like I'm very busy for two reasons. 1- It comes off as being goal-oriented and striving towards a goal that is greater than any love (something you've discussed and something I've realized is amazingly attractive to women) 2- The other reason is because I always felt like it makes me seem of higher value. Like my time is so important to people and where I have to be is so important that I can't just sit around all day.
Here you're discussing the likes of Harrison Ford. I see where you're going here. High status, as you're putting it, is not being some corporate type who has a meeting to go to. This high status is even beyond that. Like a jet setter or a CEO who makes his own schedule Looking at you, Chase! ;)
My only issue with this is that I've always believed that having too much free time sets you up as not having anything meaningful to do with your time, which is just unattractive. Am I not right in believing this?
The image I strive to exemplify is one that I learned from you: A free-spirited, open-minded professional, who's socially savvy, intelligent, successful, and warm, with a Byronic mysterious/bad boy past and a bit of a devil could care attitude.
Thanks, Chase.
Jason
Rushed vs. Picky-But-Relaxed
Jason-
If you think in terms of Value-Attainability-Investment, there are three different ways this can break down:
Overly available guy: the nice guy who’s sacrificing important things (or just his own free time) to wait for a girl who doesn’t really respect him. This is –V+A: him waiting around shreds his value, while boosting his attainability (but because he’s already so attainable, he ends up in “no challenge” land and becomes even less attractive). This is the guy everyone in pickup knows not to be, but clueless nice guys don’t know any better but to be
Rushed guy: this is the guy who’ll meet up for lunch with you, but he’s got to roll in 40 minutes because he has an important call with John Finklestein, the investor, and then golf after that with the son of the ambassador of Bahrain. +V-A: he’s boosting his value here (“I’m busy with important things to do”) at the expense of his attainability (“The things I have to do are probably more important to me than you are”). This is obviously better than being the overly available guy, and works on some people (mostly young / less socially calibrated women), but is off-putting or comes across insecure to the more socially calibrated (generally, women over 25 or so, and most very beautiful and/or intelligent women under 25)
Busy-but-chill guy: this is the guy who’s somewhat tougher to get an appointment with than Rushed Guy, but when you do manage to get an appointment with him, you’ve got his undivided attention, and feel as important to him as anything else in his life. You know he isn’t overvaluing you like the Overly Available Guy, yet nor is he downplaying your value like Rushed Guy. Instead, he treats you like a human being worthy of respect, and let’s go from there. +V+A; boosting both his value (he’s neither over-impressed with you, nor is he trying to rush out the door to seem more important) and his attainability (he actually treats you like a human being, instead of pedestalizing you like Overly Available Guy or dismissing you like Rushed Guy)
To put this into the nice guy / jerk / genuine guy progression, the guy who’s working to seem rushed is in the “jerk” phase of things, which is still much better than nothing.
The ultimate goal though is busy-but-chill; he’s high status and hard to get a hold of, but when you do get a hold of him, you have his undivided attention.
e.g., imagine lunch with Bill Gates. It’s darned hard to get lunch with Bill Gates, but once you’ve got lunch with Bill Gates, he’s probably not going to stop you half way through your tilapia to let you know he needs to rush off to a phone call with Steve Ballmer in 20 minutes. If he was that rushed, he’d have scheduled lunch with you for another day, or simply asked for a rain check altogether.
That’s the ideal worth striving for, if you ask me. Hard to do without being legitimately busy, perhaps, but maybe that’s just one more reason why it’s worth having some project, hobby, business, or obsession that commands your focus and energies and makes you more than an ordinary man with an ordinary routine, with no truly legitimate demands on his time outside of school or a 9-to-5.
The busier you get with important things (as opposed to stacking your plate with as many appointments as you can get, with whomever you can get them with, as the rushed guy frequently does... though this can be a necessary stage to go through in one’s progression), the easier this gets to pull off naturally.
Chase
RE: Rushed vs. Picky-But-Relaxed
That breakdown makes it a lot easier to understand.
You make some excellent observations about the "Rushed Guy." It does in fact borderline jerk behavior and a lot of these corporate white collar guys have that jerk frat boy attitude, which they think is how you get women. These guys tend to actually be quite dorky (most preppy frat guys who wear polo button downs, pastel shorts, and boat shoes are pretty nerdy and uptight looking to anyone outside their circle). It's a very beginner mindset in seduction. It lacks the ability to get women to connect with you and also lacks being non-judgmental and warm. These guys come off as control freaks, which I believe women don't like, despite what 50 Shades has guys believing.
And you made a good point about who is interested in those guys: non-socially calibrated women. Or in other words, the nerdy, clumsy type of women. She finds this jerk-ish behavior sexy and strong, since these jock types are the ones she always admired being the nerdy girl in high school. But the Rushed Guy, who is usually a corporate type, is in fact a square. He's usually also preppy and does not exude sexiness. He's not chill.
Really beautiful women, as you pointed out, tend not to be into these kind of guys. In fact, every white collar corporate friend I have is an uptight guy who gets women that are not exceptionally beautiful. These guys actually often get women with self esteem issues who are not that beautiful.
"Busy-but-chill" guy makes perfect sense. "Chill" is so important. It's amazing how many guys are uptight and look like they can't loosen up. The idea of being chill and laid back is so important and yet overlooked by most men. That personality trait lends itself to being warm and non-judgmental, and this opens you up as a sexual man who a woman can also be sexual around and not feel judged or under appreciated.
Also, doesn't Dos XX's "Most Interesting Man In the World" also remind you of the Busy-but-chill guy? ;)
Thanks for the explanation, Chase. If you have anymore thoughts on this, I'd love to hear them.
Regards,
Jason
Cutting the Date Early
By the way, I recall you wrote somewhere that it's best to be the one who ends the date, rather than having her end it.
What's a good way to do this without being the Rushed Guy? I wouldn't tell a girl I have to be somewhere after the date, but I may say I have to get up early or have a presentation I need to go over later that night.
Is this not a good idea? What's the right thing to say?
Jason
I Know This Game Well
I have been on over a hundred meets/dates, and I don't believe a woman has shown up on time for a single one of them. Recently, I decided that enough was enough and began to implement a punish/reward system.
This is my exact system:
If you are late, I will spank you with a belt when we get back to my house. I generally only have to do this once.
If you are on time, I will give you a full body massage before we have sex.
Yesterday a current lady friend showed up one minute beforehand hoping to get the massage reward, so it's an effective system thus far. Last time when she was late, I gave her the option of the belt or giving me road head on the way back to my apartment. She chose the road head :-)
Lashed
Now you’ve got me curious how hard you’re hitting them with the belt if you only have to do it once, Drex ;)
No comment :-) :-)
No comment :-) :-)
Chase, to be honest...
Do you ever tell any of your girls that you're studying social arts (and maybe give them links to this stuff)?
Don’t Talk About Fight Club
Anon–
Can’t say I’d recommend it!
I did it when I was younger and just starting out. Girlfriends always hated it, and would use it to try to gain leverage over me in arguments with moral shaming tactics.
I’d hold my ground and make certain they understood this was a tremendously powerful, important self-enhancement activity, and they’d grudgingly leave off that point, but it’d still be just another arrow for their quiver any time they felt like causing drama, and another source of instability and a mark against me when I was already a pretty unconventional mate for a woman to have.
I see a lot of guys in pickup – both learners and instructors / business owners – telling girlfriends about it, and it seems to be because they make this such a big part of their identities that they need to divulge it I guess. If you ask me, I think it’s probably better to get a therapist for that if that’s what you need to do, than dump it on some girl.
No matter how you spin it, just makes you sound kind of slimy and calculating, like some girl telling you she’s read The Rules and every issue of Cosmo the last 8 years. I mean damn… she’s probably psychoanalyzing me when I tell her what kind of breakfast cereal I like!
I’ve always preferred being honest. It’s easier, simpler, and makes you more carefree. The fact remains though that the healthiest relationships are the ones where the partners keep a little bit back – there’s always some degree of mystery around them. Some things are better left unsaid, and in this case, I think most of your romantic / sexual backstory qualifies (studying pickup, how many girls you’ve slept with, details of prior sexual/romantic partners, etc.). The more of that she knows, the less “hers” you will ever be able to feel to her.
Chase
So to stay honest...
So to stay honest it may happen like this:
She: do you have any secrets from me?
You: I guess I do, we all have stuff we feel embarrassed to tell others and if you ever find out that I was hiding something from you, don't be surprised, because this is the life and such stuff happens. Just like you don't like telling everyone how much time you spent in front of the mirror to look better, so I may have little secret here and there, but I'm trying to be as honest as I can in telling you even the most unpleasant stuff which may matter to you. I know this sounds strange, but this is the life, we usually are not honest with ourselves telling ourselves that we will work a lot and than lazing around, it happens so and I don't know what could I do about it.
She: Just be honest! Are you hiding anything from me now that you would like to tell but won't?
You: Shhh, I told you what I needed to tell, feel free to cut me out off your life, if you need to, who knows maybe you'll find someone better for you. [by showing implicitly with actions that you're most likely the best possible option for her that she will accept this and not to leave, if she does - well, there's always another girl].
That's how I imagine it.
Anything else like pretending to be a fool and responding in a way "what? why don't you trust me?" seems to be inappropriate if she gives much thought to this and needs a serious answer.
You could write on this as a topic "Unpleasant stuff about you: should you reveal it to her?". It has more to it like the matter of telling the same thing, but in non-offensive manner.
For example:
Sentence A: "You will live the longest in your family"
Sentence B: "Everyone in your family will die and you'll remain alone"
States pretty much the same truth, but doesn't emphasize explicitly the thing which follows from the stated truth, which can be found out by giving some thought to it.
Thanks for quick answer :)
Girls Playing Moral Crusader
Anon-
All perspective, really.
You never want to talk about being embarrassed about anything, as it suggests that you’re doing things that YOU believe or wrong, or you’re just not so good about standing up for yourself.
Generally myself, if someone accuses me of being “embarrassed” about something, my response tends to be something like no, not really… I just wasn’t especially interested going into the 2-hour long discussion/explanation period these sorts of topics necessitate with people, yet again.
I haven’t really analyzed it, but I guess the kernel of it is “Telling this to you was always going to cause you to erupt with drama, which is a waste of my time, so of course I didn’t tell you. Had you not found out, I’d keep not telling you too, probably to my grave, simply to avoid the unneeded hours-long distraction and diversion.”
If a girl asks whether you keep secrets from her, the best answer I’ve found is either something playful like, “Never! I would never keep things from you, my love!” or “Not sure… did I ever tell you about that night I got locked in the cattle pen?”, or just something mildly bored, like, “Yeah, sure, we all have our little secrets… I don’t think there’s anything too important about me you don’t know, however.”
If she asks you if you’re hiding anything from her, I’d just say, “No, I don’t hide anything from anybody. That said, I don’t walk around with my dick hanging out of my pants either, because it’s not terribly considerate and invites a lot of negative attention I could otherwise have done without.”
Don’t pretend to be a fool and don’t get accept any “you’re embarrassed” “you’re hiding” etc. frames. These are good at manipulating men who feel like they owe the world to a woman simply because she’s sharing her bed with them, but once you’ve been around the block a few times they start ringing hollow.
Just know WHY you don’t tell people things – e.g., for me, it’s because it isn’t worth the inconvenience of other people’s minds exploding, essentially. If I tell her, she’s going to give me drama over it, I’m going to have to waste a lot of time explaining myself to her that I could otherwise use for productive endeavors, and so on and so forth. And this is exactly what I tell girls in such scenarios (e.g., they’ve tried to corner me with something I hadn’t told them): “Of course! Because the instant I said something, I’ve got to deal with drama, just like what you’re giving me right now. Now instead of me being able to use my time on, say, business, I’ve got to use it allaying your concerns and explaining a bunch of stuff to you that ultimately doesn’t impact our relationship for good or for ill in any way and putting you back into the emotional state you were already in before going around digging in my personal affairs and coming to me to throw a conniption fit.”
The end goal is, she should be apologizing for sniffing around like an amateur PI, then flipping out on you like some kind of self-righteous inquisitor. If she’s not apologizing at the end of the discussion, you probably could use some reading up on the following subjects:
Brain Hacks: Using Moral Superiority to Turn Arguments
Beating Your Girlfriend at Her Own Blame Game
Chase
Of course...
Oh well, you always leave me breathless with your insights.
I found it's great to tell "Of course!!!" at playful voice.
It's like blowing away all the negative energy she had, because I've seen some guys do so:
She: are you unfaitful to me?
He: yeah, all the time (playful voice)
This does wonders in some situations.
Precedent
Hey Chase,
Nice article.
There is another dimension to it, namely setting a precedent.
In case this date leads to something more lasting, the precedent you are setting if you accept her to be too late, could open the door to more bad behavior.
It's important to signal very early that you are not ready to accept anything.
What do you think?
Seppuku
Precedent vs. Getting the Lay
Seppuku-
Absolutely… precedent’s tremendously important.
At the same time, I wouldn’t stress too much about what sort of precedent the first date sets. If you do, you’re going to cost yourself a lot of lays you could’ve otherwise had by being too strict with women you don’t hold much weight with just yet (i.e., women you aren’t yet intimate with).
You can afford to brush off a girl being late to a first date or second date prior to sleeping with her. Once you’ve got her locked into a relationship of some kind and fully converted (generally, once you’ve slept with her on three occasions), you can start setting rules and boundaries.
You could do something like what Drexel uses in his comment above if you want to make it a fun/sexual punishment, or you can just gradually escalate how exacting you are about her being on time.
I generally don’t do anything with girlfriends other than have them come over to my place, and since I control my own schedule a girl taking longer to come over means more time for me to work on whatever I want to work on, so timeliness is rarely much of an issue for me how I run things.
The only time it is if I’m having them bring dinner or something like this, and they’re running late – at that point, I’ll just call them and ask them if they’re going to be on time, because I’m getting super hungry. If they aren’t, I may tell them outright okay, maybe let’s just cancel tonight, I’m going to go grab some food and then probably be busy the rest of the night, and that generally gets profuse apologies, a girl on my doorstep with twice as much food as earlier promised, and her showing up within 20 minutes. Also tends to make her a lot timelier in the future.
Occasionally it leads to a more submissive/passive/low self-esteem girl just saying, “Okay…” and accepting my cancellation, and then I’ll generally lose a ton of interest in her as just too much of a pushover to have around me, but that’s part of why those girls and I don’t mesh so well together. If you want to date girls like this, you probably want less-harsh punishments than threatening cancellation, perhaps like having them make it up to you by running out and buying you a donut once they get there or telling them that if they’re going to be that late, you expect them to show up with lingerie on under their clothes (and if they don’t do it, send them home to go get some and come back after they get there), or something along these lines.
Chase
Got a Girlfriend
Hey Chase,
I have to thank you because I've followed your advice and it has been working. I got a lay, she is Malika and you might have seen that post on the field reports. And I have another lay under my belt :) and now I have a girlfriend, her name is Amanda. I slept with her on Saturday but she is acting weird like she wants to avoid me.
I'm not sure what to do now that she is my girlfriend. I see her at school and we talk but I'm not sure how I'm to behave. I definitely am acting the same as before sex so it couldn't be that I'm being weird. Younger girls prefer more excitement which means they prefer the humorous guys. I'm working on my humor and it is improving but I have a far way to go. It's a week since we are together and she already seems bored. In fact I sometimes have to face awkwardness when she sees her male friends pass by and she gets excited to talk with them. And when they are gone she starts texting and it's so annoying. I must be boring her.
Funnily I see other couples sit and no one is trying to impress and I feel I have to entertain my girlfriend.
She prefers talking to her friends and ignoring me. Chase, what would you recommend I do in this situation?
Thanks brother, it's good to see your article's as usual.
Troy
Hey Chase, Thanks for the
Hey Chase,
Thanks for the perspective. "Maybe let's just cancel" that's a good one :-)
I also like Drexel's approach and his very inspiring articles ;-)
Cheers,
Seppuku
Silly Games
Hey Chase,
I have a question, I was hanging out with a girl i work with, whos a lot older than me with kids, and she told me she was on her period, and im not use to that excuse, nor did i really want to fuck her on her period, so i just chilled with her and we kissed, and did a lot of other sexual things too. She was telling me how much she liked me and her feelings. We messed around for a while and then she makes me leave because she has to get her kids up. I was cool the whole time.
So the whole night was good, and then she says she wants to see me more times, then i text her next week and she does not respond. I texted her in the exact words, "when are you free this week?", i felt it maybe too cold of a text. I never texted again because i really didn't want to have another text ignored and risk looking like im chasing.
I know now to have sex on girls periods is something I have to do to get more lays, i know now.
I'm surprised she ignored the text, i would say it wasn't a failed mating attempt because i really was just coolin and kissed her i wasn't too fond of sleeping with her on her period, and i find it stupid if she actually got angry at me for not sleeping with her while she was on the rag. I felt the pad and all that.
I remember you saying that if you don't sleep with a girl the first time you won't get another chance, but in your, "don't chase, replace article" you said after three escalations cut her off. So if a person doesn't get second chances, how does a beginner get 3?
Anyway, i work with her, and now she's all on my dick kissing me, touching me, and tryna make us look like a couple infornt of her two friends, i try to chill, but she doesn't answer, i only tried a few times and i decided to just ignore her. Is that the best thing to do? And why is she playing games for?
Thanks Chase
You posted this in the
You posted this in the comments section of another article.
1- Stop posting irrelevant comments hoping for advice. I guarantee you won't get it. Go to the forums for that.
2- I was going to be nice about it, but I'll just be real. You sound so pathetic. Adopt the abundance mentality and let it go. Yes, you messed up. Stop being so needy.
sales
Hi Chase,
it's so hard to meet you here these days, yet so good to see you now. Chase, i loved your articles on sales. can you please recommend a good read on sales? my education is in something completely different but I have been trying to sell my scripts/pitch them unsuccessfully for a couple of years and i know i have good products I just lack sales skills and experience.
thank you in advance man
cheers!
Gentlemen behavior
Hi, Chase another informative artice as always I was wondering if you believe that we should to the social accepted gentlemenly behaviors like
*opening doors
*pulling out her chair
*helping her with her coat
*opening the car door for her
*walking her home safely
*siting after she sits
Do you think doing these thing helps potential seductions or hampers them by putting you in needy/desperate for aproval type of frame?
Ex question
Love the site, I found it a while back and the info is much more personal growth than PUA IMO. So here's my scenario:
I'm 30, own a bar/club for 7 years in the SF BayArea, sleeved, beard, very fit and generally have lots of women in and out of my life. I was in a long live-in relationship (4yrs, still own the house) where I really took care of business for a while but things went ballistic at the end. I had co-dependency issues and b/c of my schedule had to work nights with young girls always around. So she broke up with me, then tried it for a few months and things blew up one day two years ago. She said "I don't feel it" and I told her I never wanted to see her again, she was very sad, wanted to reconcile and we have only seen each other once since then (2yrs). She has a new dude, nerd, who has a sloppy body, is a tech bro ( she moved to SF, I'm in $$$ burbs). Since we broke up I've been on a two year heater, she knows we have 500 mutual friends. In September I wrote her a genuine email saying what I've been working on and that I was thankful for what we had. I was very troubled fights, drugs and I had a tough childhood, she was the first person I really truly opened to. So after that, I started dating this girl I can only describe as a goddess; Italian, 24, beautiful, natural 36dds and a real kinky side. Meanwhile, my ex's sister in law (Jen) was hounding me for a job so I hired her on the condition that she didn't start shit with my ex, who I mentioned in the email (letting her know I want interested in the sister in law). So after that, my ex told Jen (at wedding dress fitting) if you bring him to the wedding I'll fucking slap you. Lol. Then she showed up twice at my bar, "to see her", which I responded nothing. I'm very capable of settling down with someone else and I'm dating 5-10 girls right now, but she was good to me and I was kind of fucking awful at points. Her main objection was my lack of focus, I grew and sold a huge amount of weed in the past, now I own my own company, have a marketing degree, and am a partner at a vodka startup w/ huge traction. The main chick I was seeing got a DUI and lost her job and my ex was a 10: beautiful inside & out, low guy count, family oriented, independent and all that. The ex's sister was at brunch recently (her dad, sister, brother live in my town) and starting ripping me to 10 of my friends, my buddy shut her the fuck down but I thought it odd. Thoughts? Assuming I'd like to contact her.
virgin experience
Chase, this is way off topic, but it would be really cool if you could share with us the experience of when you lost your virginity? how was it? etc etc
Shit does happen and we
Shit does happen and we should avoid toxic girls who flirt and lie at the same time. As soon as you are mistaken, it's excruciating to reverse the after-effects.
Leave a Comment