Pickup

The whole process you need to vanish in bars and nightclubs. Hide from exes, stalkers, or that annoying guy or chick who won’t let you be.

Welcome to second half of this series, guys! In part 1, we introduced and discussed the concept of shadowing, which can be understood as disappearing in the crowd. It is a technique that will help you escape the social world by becoming a ghost.

Sometimes it is best to be seen publicly (surrounding yourself with girls to create social proof), and sometimes it is not. We discussed the situations in which such a strategy would be useful, and the reasons why.

Shadowing helps you:

• Avoid female attention in order to avoid stalkers and girls who are potential cockblocks or drama

• Avoid auto-rejection; whenever girls see you hooking up with someone, you risk coming off as unattainable

• Avoid being seen as loner (if you happen to be alone in a club)

• Avoid making your girl feel slutty by making her disappear in the crowd, enhancing the effect of isolation

In part 2, we will discuss the “hows.” The techniques shared in this post will be pretty straightforward and easy to implement, so they are suitable for everyone. And they apply mainly to night-game situations, so you clubbers and bar jumpers, this post is for you.

When girls tease, go off topic, get distracted, or turn mean, a takeaway may be in order. But the key to these is calibration: not too much, not too little.

We’ve talked a lot about takeaways lately on Girls Chase. Alek has posted a few recent articles on “hit and run” in bars and nightclubs (where you talk to a girl for a bit, leave, and come back later). And in Monday’s article on handling disrespect, Hector made ample use of the full suite of available takeaways.

A takeaway is any behavior you use to remove your attention, interest, or even outright presence away from a woman. It can be an effective way to snap women to attention, to increase your scarcity (and thus, the urgency of hooking up with you), and to differentiate yourself from other men (many of whom cling onto any woman who talks to them like burs as soon as she gives them her attention, and would never leave or withdraw attention until they’d totally given up). Takeaways also let you fractionate your courtships, and are a powerful way to inspire women to chase you and do more of the work in the courtship.

You’ve felt the power of takeaways plenty of times before yourself. A girl you talk with shrugs her eyebrows and seems disinterested. A girl you are with suddenly shifts from warm and open with you to frowning and telling you she doesn’t think you and her are very much alike. Another girl you were flirting with suddenly tells you “I have to run – I’ll catch you later!” and darts off. All these are takeaways... though some of them (like when she seems disinterested) are lighter and more implied, while others (like when she darts off) are stronger and more demonstrative.

We’ll look at the different types of takeaways you can use in this article. Then we’ll talk about some times to use them, as well as some times not to use them.

Advanced disrespect-handling tech: if she goes too far, show your displeasure – and get her to chase after you to make it right.

Welcome back to Part 5 of this series.

If you have not read them yet, read Parts 1 through 4 here:

• Part 1: Self Is Everything
• Part 2: 3 Myths of Pride
• Part 3: What Is Disrespectful Behavior?
• Part 4: Direct and Indirect Disrespect
  

Onto the topic of Part 5: using auto-rejection to make girls chase you.

Hopefully, you don’t get to this point.

It’s much better if, after reading the previous articles in this series, you stomp out disrespectful behavior before it gets big enough that you have to auto-reject.

The best way to get out of a choke hold is to not get caught in one.

But sometimes, shit happens, and you end up in a choke hold.

Sometimes in nightlife it’s best if you can “shadow”: just melt into the crowd and disappear. In this article, we talk when and why to do this.

Today I want to share an old concept of mine that I originally shared back in 2009, I think. I haven’t really revisited the concept since then, but lately I have found situations where the concept has proven to be extremely useful to me, and these situations are not uncommon. Based on this, I thought you all might find the concept of “shadowing” to be very useful. It is easy to understand and not difficult to apply, so this post is for everyone.

What is shadowing?

In basic terms, it’s the “anti-social proof,” but it’s not something that will ruin your social proof. It just works differently.

I have covered the concept of social proof (and preselection, which is the result of social proof) multiple times. Social proof is the tool that makes women preselect you (i.e., choose you before you even approach). Attraction can be generated as a result of women seeing you with other women.

• The more women you are seen with, the greater the effect of social proof, and the more you get preselected

• The hotter the women who provide you social proof, the greater the effect

• The more into you those women appear to be, the greater the effect

Check out some of our posts on the subject if you want to learn more about it.

• How Preselection Works to Get You Girls

• How to Use Social Proof to Get Girls

• 3 Ways to Use Social Proof to Be Scaldingly Attractive to Women

• Social Proof in Nightclubs: Jumps, Momentum, and Girl Circles

• Girls, Social Proof, Herding, and Copycat Hookups

• The Pros and Cons of Social Proof for Seduction

In order to get social proof, the following is required:

• You must trigger attention

• Be positioned where people will see you

• Be a social butterfly

Shadowing, on the other hand, is the opposite. In other words, it is a tool to avoid attention; you become a shadow rather than a social butterfly.

I feel some of you may be skeptical already. “Why the hell would you do this?” is probably a question on a lot of your minds. Isn’t getting attention necessary to trigger approach invitations from women? Isn’t it good to be seen with other girls? Yes, those are all really good things – but not always.

I consider it my duty, therefore, to elaborate on why and when this technique can be useful before I get to the “hows” of becoming a shadow. Therefore, the practical part will be covered next week in Part 2.

As for now, let’s cover the theory behind shadowing.

As a woman ages, her tastes in men change. What does an under-21 girl prefer that women 32+ do not? Read on and find out.

As a man, your taste in women may or may not have changed as you’ve aged. I know a few guys whose tastes have changed over the years. Though I know many more guys whose tastes haven’t. I can tell you the only difference between the women I’m drawn to now and those I was drawn to 10 years ago is the girls I’m drawn to now are usually cuter. That is more simply a factor of having more choice with women now than I had when I was young, overweight, and romantically unskilled.

Women’s tastes in men, on the other hand, go through some major evolutions as they age. From between a girl’s late teens to her mid-30s, she shifts her tastes often dramatically.

Talk to most single women in their 30s about younger women and you’ll hear such women pan younger women’s standards in men. “Young women have the worst taste in men,” they’ll tell you. “The guys they go for are assholes with attitude. They have no taste.”

Male pundits normally regard this as a way for an older woman to make herself look more valuable in the dating market (i.e., she is more ‘refined’ than ignorant younger women) in order to make up for some of the lost value of her faded youth. And this “younger women are silly and foolish” frame does help older women do that. But there is a deeper reason so many single women in their 30s feel this way about those younger versions of themselves on the dating scene.

Before we talk about that though, we’ll talk about the different sorts of men women at different ages are most drawn toward. As always, game and fundamentals play a huge role here – the better yours are, the less you need to worry about fitting a certain template, and the better you’ll do even within that template.

Note that the age ranges we’ll discuss below are generalities. Some women may be more or less ‘mature’ than their ages (we’ll talk about that a bit below too). But in general, for the majority of women, you should find these age ranges fairly accurate.

A woman can be fickle and changeable. But why is this so? Science shows us this fickleness is an inherent aspect of female decision making.

If you’re already in a chat with girls, it’s easy to both excite those girls and set up backup plan girls… by stepping away for a second to meet someone else.

I’ve got some more great pickup tech for you guys. Hopefully by the end of this year, you will have a huge arsenal. This post is primarily related to social proof, which we have covered a lot here in September and October. And you may be asking, “Alek, why didn’t you just share this technique while covering those other aspects of social proof?”

I have only one answer to that: Well, I just discovered this technique.

Yes, I am going out every weekend – and sometimes weekdays. I am out there meeting girls, banging girls, and discovering new strategies, techniques, and tactics all the time. This means I am sometimes sharing my techniques as I discover them. And in case you’re wondering, I give them 3-5 field tests before sharing in order to secure their validity and also get to observe their nuances. I believe techniques are best served fresh. I hope you are enjoying it.

Either way, let’s get on with it. Note that this technique is made primarily for night game (bars, clubs, house parties, etc.).