Pickup

You never want to explain yourself to a woman’s tough questions. Yet to brush them off, you need the right tactics – and the right mentality.

We’ve talked about tough questions (which fall under the umbrella of ‘tests’) before. I’ve given you some ways to answer these well, as well as a formula to know how to respond to such challenges (i.e., status and respect). And, perhaps most importantly of all, I cautioned you never to explain yourself to women.

Today we’ll talk about a few specific varieties of challenging questions you can receive (from both men and women... though we’ll focus mainly on questions from women today). That variety is tough questions; questions that put you on the spot, in a not-so-helpful-to-your-cause sort of way.

We’ll talk about brushing these questions off. But there’s going to be a twist to how we do this; we don’t want to do a brush off in a way that looks like we are trying not to answer. That’s because if you evade someone’s questions (for too long), it seems like you’re frightened, or have something to hide.

So instead, we want to brush tough questions off in a way that either blows up the question, or lets us answer it on more favorable terms.

You may think you only like girls of this personality, that look, or this background. Yet to truly know women, you must experience them in all their variety.

Hey, guys. I hope you enjoyed my latest series on calibration. This post is not about calibration per se, but the advice shared in this post will benefit your calibration as well as provide a lot of other benefits.

This post is more a reflection on life choices in regards to women, and how those choices can affect your future. I’ll cover why I believe meeting a huge diversity of women is beneficial to you. And we’ll tackle some biases men tend to have with women, why biases can be detrimental, and how to overcome them. Additionally, we will discuss the benefits of meeting a large variety of women, some of which include:

• Rewiring triggers so you can enjoy new women (sometimes even better women)

• Becoming more calibrated and skilled as a seducer

• Removing biases caused by observations made from an unrepresentative selection of women

You might tell yourself “I’ll show her!” when a girl is resistant to or uninterested in you. Is there a better way to respond to a resistant or disinterested woman?

There’s a mentality I see a lot from guys. I’ve been guilty of it too, so I won’t claim innocence.

It goes like this: some girl doesn’t give you what you want, or she puts up walls to you, or does something else you do not like. In defiance, you tell yourself, “I’ll show her!” and you end the courtship. She’ll miss you when you’re gone – but now it’s too late for her; her chance with you is blown.

This mentality does indeed have its uses. We’ll talk about them below.

However, much of the time guys use it, it is just puffery. The girl moves on, doesn’t spend more than a few thoughts on you, and meets someone else. You, meanwhile, get to be alone with all your “I sure showed her!” thoughts.

If you do it, should you never do it? And if you don’t do it, what ought you do instead?

Your body positioning says a lot about you… and it even tells the people who see you and talk to you how to feel about you. Here’s how to position yourself in nightclubs.

Hey guys, I wanted to cover a part of the seduction process that has not been thoroughly explained and is crucial for having good results when picking up girls at bars and clubs. This article is meant for those of you who practice night game.

Alek Rolstad and I were talking the other day, and we slipped onto the topic of positioning. We were amazed how much we used it but didn’t discuss it. We have actually been using a lot of deliberate techniques we never talked about.

After a while of doing seduction, some learned tools become ingrained and you stop reflecting on them. What I’m about to cover I learned from thousands of interactions. Over the years, I have been adjusting my methods of positioning, and I will now share some simple tips about when and why to position yourself in certain ways in clubs to reach the maximal result – the pull.

Before you walk up to a girl, you’re going to make guesses about who she is and how to approach. What signals should you pay attention to, vs. which should you not?

Welcome to the final installment in my Calibration series. If you haven’t caught up on the previous posts, here they are:

• Part 1: What Is Calibration?

• Part 2: Calibrating to Social Context

• Part 3: Calibrate Your Timing

• Part 4: Should You Calibrate to Her Personality?

Previously, I shared my skepticism regarding different female personalities, types, and archetypes, and their usefulness in pickup and seduction. Many readers assume that calibration is all about analyzing what type of girl you’re dealing with, then proceeding with a certain “method” that fits that exact girl. Well, it isn’t that easy – sorry.

In Part 4, I shared the reasons why I believe such a model is fallible:

• Recognizing what kind of person she is requires you to spend time with her. This is not possible with cold approach.

• Recognizing her type and personality is very difficult even if you’ve spent some time with her (through work, school, and other social settings). You don’t really know who she truly is, because you’ve only seen her and interacted with her in one or two settings. I remember back in the day how a particular “Miss Introvert” from class would go nuts when she’s in a club. That was a learning moment for me. I’ve had many similar experiences since.

• In different settings, you will notice how many sides there are to women. Even if you knew her before, women don’t just experience different emotions more often, they act upon them more than men. In other words, who she is is kind of a fluid concept, especially in a settings that stimulate her a lot (clubs) or social settings that force her to put on a social mask (classrooms).

• Honestly, when you are in-field trying to seduce, you have higher priorities than trying to perform psychoanalysis and trying to find out who she is. Instead, you have to hook her in, connect, and seduce her. You have limited time, and she has a limited attention span. Pick your tools carefully.

• Also, this may not be the case for you, but many of us operate in highly-chaotic environments like clubs. As mentioned earlier, such places affect her emotionally, which will have an impact on her presence, but the chaos makes it very difficult for us to judge and discern who she is. And we ourselves will be more stressed, and the chaos will cloud our perceptions.

That said, without contradicting the points above (and the points of my previous posts), I will make a little argument for how using personality types can be a bit useful. However, there are lots of caveats, and the way I personally use them will differ a bit from how others would expect.

After presenting my framework, I will share with you the categories I use. But let’s first lay out the framework of how I would use personality types in calibration.

How do you handle conversation in a group… especially when there’s a girl you like and want to talk to there? With 3-second eye contact, quality face time, and more.

Ideally, you’d like to be able to meet a girl one-on-one, hit it off with her, and run through the courtship free of distractions or interruptions. You know, that’s like meet her on the street... or in the café... or in the bar... or waiting for the train... and she’s allll by herself. All yours, from the moment you walk up.

In reality, you’ll get this some of the time. But if you’re waiting for only girls you can meet in isolation, you’ll pass up a lot of pretty girls who might otherwise have available to you. Girls you did not approach because they were with other people, and you didn’t want to have to deal with a group conversation.

It is a little dicier handling group conversations. However, there are upsides too. The biggest of which is, like the old ‘group theory’ of yesteryear PUA, once she sees you win over her group of friends, suddenly it becomes a lot easier for her to show attraction to you and agree to move forward with you (assuming she does like you). Effectively managing a conversation with multiple people involved, while also showing interest in and proceeding things forward with one specific girl in the group, shows a lot of good, attractive qualities about you. Leadership, confidence, social savvy, influence, ability to build a private world with her even as you charm everyone else... all these are on display as you work your way deftly through a group conversation situation, if you’re doing it right.

In this article, I’m going to give you some tips on doing it right, to better put you in that ‘successful group conversationalist’ bin.

Not every transsexual wants you to know all the details. To not get catfished, you need to know how to spot a transsexual – and steer clear of traps.

I just saw the David Cronenberg movie M. Butterfly, about a dude who seduces another dude who doesn’t know he’s a dude, and carries on an affair with him for 20 years and even convinces him they had a child together. All based on a true story (you can read about it on Wikipedia). What a weird movie that was (I’ve always loved both main actors, too – Jeremy Irons and John Lone. Terrific talents. Though this sure was a strange flick). Anyway, got me thinking about this topic.

A while back, I was out with a group of people in a new city. Our group consisted of five guys and four girls. Three of the girls were friends, but one was a little separate from the rest of the group. And this one... something about her triggered my “there’s something weird here” radar.

She was dressed in a sexy teal dress, and went around flirting with all the boys. She had an eye for me in particular. But to me, she looked like the women I’d seen in a cougar club in Del Mar; skin too-tight on the face (obvious sign of a face lift), lips full in an unnatural way (Botox?), dressed too flashy for an average girl. “She must be an older woman hunting for younger guys,” I thought.

At one point though, the guy I knew there leaned in and told me “She used to be a guy.”

Light bulbs went off. Ah... that’s what I was picking up on.

“Her last boyfriend didn’t find out until they’d been sleeping together for a month,” he said.

“Interesting,” I said. “How’d he react to that?”

“He was pretty upset,” my friend said.

This article is about how to not end up like that duped boyfriend, or some of the other men I’ve had transsexuals tell me about from their romantic histories (one, showing me a picture of a boyfriend, about said boyfriend: “He got used to it”). It’s about how to spot a transsexual – because not every transsexual wants you to know the truth.