Meeting and attracting members of the opposite sex.
How should you calibrate your approach to a girl’s personality?
Or, more importantly, should you even bother with this at all?
Welcome back, gents!
In this vast series on calibration, we have so far covered 3 key subjects:
Sometimes despite your best efforts, a girl will tell you “the
spark isn’t there” or that she “just isn’t feeling it.” When this
happens, you have 3 options on how to proceed.
I recently responded to a comment from a reader named Jason about an issue he ran into, where a girl he had a good thing going with (they’d progressed fairly far into intimacy, though hadn’t had penetrative sex yet) told him, about their kisses, that she “didn’t feel a spark.”
There’s a certain category of rejection girls can hit you with, where they object to the potential between you and them. Usually this takes the form of a girl telling you it just doesn’t ‘feel’ right, in this way or that. Examples:
The most maddening thing about this is its vagueness. Vague problems
are hard problems to right.
So what do you do? Pack your things and go? Give chase and try to convince her she’s all wrong, and there was a spark? Obviously, neither of those is ideal.
There are a few superior options you can use to deal with objections like this. Those better options are the subject of this post.
Timing is a crucial element of successful pickups. If your timing
is off, you’ll often completely blow it with girls. But get timing
right, and that girl you want is yours…
Contents
Hey, guys! Welcome back to my series on calibration.
If you haven’t caught Part 1 and Part 2, definitely check them out.
Why this series on calibration? Because calibration is so damn key to your success with women. That’s why. It’s one of the most important aspects that set apart intermediate and advanced players. Better calibration gets you more girls (and hotter girls) more consistently. That’s reason enough.
Anyway, today we will discuss timing, a subfield of calibration that is rarely discussed on seduction blogs and forums, yet every time guys (usually intermediate or advanced seducers) discuss their nights out, they always seem to bring up timing (“My timing was off!”) as the most common reason for failure. And “My timing was on point!” is usually among the most common reasons for success.
Again, just like any other subject related to calibration, field experience (successes and failures) is what makes one a master. But you know this already. This post will just speed up your progress to mastery.
Investment is a funny thing. It’s crucial to your courtships –
but it’s also easy to mess up, if you do not calibrate it to the girl.
Yesterday, in my video on the subject, we talked about compliance. We’ll talk about it again tomorrow in my next video... plus a lot more inside One Date.
Contents
It’s vital to get women to invest in you. One of the easiest ways to build investment is to get them to comply with you. The more a woman complies, the more invested in and committed to you and her courtship with you she grows.
However, there’s some nuance here. And that is that some women invest much more on their own... and others, it’s like getting blood from a stone, trying to get them to invest and comply.
If you approach both women the same way, you’ll run into some fairly significant problems, bordering on “I can’t get these girls.”
That’s because when it comes to investment, it isn’t just about maximizing how much she invests in you. It’s also about keeping your own investment – in her and in the courtship – in the same ballpark as hers.
You must calibrate your approaches and interactions to the social
context you find yourself in. What’s that include? Exposure, vibe, and
appropriateness.
Welcome back to this series on calibration, guys. Last time, we discussed what is, in my opinion, the most important aspect of calibration: calibrating to her level of interest and her overall response to your moves.
This time around, we will discuss another key aspect of calibration. Again, if you manage to understand the concepts and the theories, as well as the techniques covered in my last post, you will do well. I swear. If you also manage to master the ideas of this post, you are already a pretty good seducer, for sure.
Contents
But like I mentioned in my previous post, there is no way one can become good at calibration without field experience. By this I mean failing and succeeding. Both give valuable lessons. Do not be afraid to mess up. Instead, jump into it, take a risk. If she doesn’t like it and she loses attraction? Well, as long as you did not cross the line into “overly offensive,” then no big deal, move on, learn from your mistake. And the next time you meet a girl in a similar context, you will be more calibrated.
These posts will serve as guidance to shorten the learning process. It will help you get better at calibration by helping you learn faster from your field experience. These posts will give you an overall idea so that you are not left in the dark, but keep in mind that you can only truly understand the points I am about to cover after having experienced them in real life.
Additionally, when it comes to calibration, there are unlimited nuances (so many that it is literally impossible to cover them all in posts). I can only give you the big picture, as an understanding of the small details are best acquired through in-field training. For example, every girl and every context differs. So many factors play in that dictate the outcome of an interaction:
And each of these have almost infinite variations.
However, with experience, you can create a model that has a high success rate.
For real, I have never seen a guy with a 100% success rate, but I know that an average of 1/5 from a club is doable. And let’s be frank, isn’t that more than good enough? It surely is for me.
You must know how to calibrate yourself to women to excel with
them. This means you need to know how to read her signals,
punish/reward, persist, and more.
Contents
A few weeks ago, I wrote a post titled “How to Tell If a Guy Is a Good Seducer” where I covered some aspects that, in my opinion, good seducers have in common. One of those was having good calibration.
A few days later, a reader (drfeelg00d) asked the following:
“Calibration: Your game is indirect and based on the reaction of the girls. The examples about calibration that you gave in this article are quite basic (no criticism!)...For instance, on a macro level:
How do you calibrate considering the girls overall personality (shy, outgoing, experienced, inexperienced, young, old, artist or career type of girl etc…) Do you always stick to the same vibe or do you for instance add some aloofness to it, depending on the type of girl? On a micro level:
How do you calibrate to specific responses to you, say, in the beginning the famous red-yellow-green scheme? Then later, if she denies a compliance test, what if she rejects a frame set by one of your gambits?”
These are very good questions indeed. In my opinion, I believe what drfeelg00d refers to as the micro level is the most important aspect. I will therefore discuss this first and put more emphasis on it in this post. I will discuss what he refers to as the “macro level” in my next post.
This post will be pretty content-packed, and I may go a bit too quickly for some. If that is the case, let me know in the comment section if anything is unclear, and I will make a new post to elaborate. A cup of coffee or tea is recommended before reading this one. That said, I think this post is worth your time, no matter the girl, your skill level, or where you meet the girls.
First things first: Regarding calibration. It is one of the hardest subjects to cover, as the nuances are infinite. The best way to become calibrated is through field experience, which entails failing and succeeding – and sadly, most of the time failing. But the end benefits are worth it. Being a smooth and calibrated seducer is so key, and also something pleasurable to become!
That said, this post, in addition to my upcoming posts, will give you clues and advice that will ease up the process. But again… experience… going out and meeting women… there are no other ways around it.
When your words, actions, and moves aren’t timed right, it all
feels wrong and incongruous. Yet when the timing is right, everything
becomes magic.
When a comedian makes a joke, even if it’s a spectacular joke, if the timing is wrong, nobody laughs.
Usually on Girls Chase we talk about timing in the context of:
Yet timing snakes its tendrils through everything you do with women. Timing matters in your opens. Timing matters when you ask for investment. Timing matters at transition points. Timing matters during the pull, the kiss, and the escalation to intimacy.
If your timing is off, everything in your process will be off. You’ll fly blind through the courtship, trying this here and that there. Timing, you will notice if you observe enough guys in action, often is the Achilles’s heel of many men who work hard in seduction but reap few rewards. When you see such guys, your frequent reaction will be “Why is he doing that then? He should’ve done that 10 minutes ago!” or “Why is he saying this now? She’s not ready for that yet!”
We’re going to tackle timing in two ways today.
The first is to give you a rough sequence of events a courtship progresses through.
The second is to give you a couple signs to watch out for to let you calibrate your timing no matter where you’re at with her.
When you’re head-to-head against another guy over a girl, the
last thing you want to do is try to best him at what he’s good at. Beat
him on your terms, instead.
Commenting under my article “If a Girl Has Sex with You Fast, is She a Slut?”, Mike asked:
“Hey chase, please I have a question to ask. I want to know how to compete with guys more handsome than me. Thanks.”
It’s a good question. It echoes similar questions I’ve answered in articles and in the comments before, such as:
How do you compete with men who are famous?
How do you compete with guys she already knows?
How do you compete with bad boys when you’re not a bad boy?
I don’t want to spoil the whole article, but the way you win, of course, is by not trying to beat that guy at what he’s good at.
Instead, what you must do to win is change the rules of engagement.
With the right tweaks, you can put a guy on the defensive and emerge victorious for the girl, despite almost any number of on-paper advantages he might seem to have over you.
Tight game in general should be hard to say. That’s for good
reason: while flashy game can be attractive, it can also attract a lot
of unwanted attention.
Contents
Last week, we discussed the difficulties one may face in perceiving tight game – the elements involved and the ability to spot guys who are truly good with women. We also discussed some of the key elements that constitute true mastership compared to simple flash. And no, mastership is not about having that super-crazy routine or having girls react crazily over your approach; rather, it is about calibrating smoothly, making good calls, having your timing in check, and being able to handle logistics.
In this post, we will discuss “why” tight game should not be easily perceived. What are the benefits of being low key? Why is it a good thing that nobody sees you as the player guy? Keep on reading, because I believe this is a key subject that can’t be covered enough. It may have a direct impact on your dating and pick-up success.
You’ve met a girl, hit it off, and invited her to leave with you.
But then she tells you “I have to find my friends!” Don’t fret – there
are several ways to handle this.
One of the most bone-chilling things a girl you’ve made a lot of headway with in a bar, at a party, on a beach, or in a shopping mall can tell you when you ask her to go somewhere with you is “I have to find my friends!”
It signals a likely end to this beautiful courtship you’ve enjoyed with her. Either she is going to go and not come back... or you are going to go with her and follow her around like a puppy dog for a bit, until her friends decide it is time to go and she leaves (without you).
It totally sucks. You thought you were doing great with her. But now she “has to find her friends.”
How do you handle this obstacle with finesse, and not lose the girl?
