Pickup

Guys who do pickup and seduction often over-game women; she’s ready to smash, but they keep spitting game. Here are some tips to avoid falling into that trap.

Are you making success with women more complicated than it needs to be?

Most likely you are. I know – because been there, done that.

In seduction, true beauty is found by taking something rough, disorganized, and raw, then whittling it down into its most pure, functional form. You strip away the excess until all that’s left are results. Or, at least, a sharpened tool, or polished art form.

That’s the idea anyway.

Back when I was a noob, there was this cute barista I wanted to bang. I didn’t realize at the time that I could have had her simply by saying “Hey, what are you up to tonight?” Instead, I’d go in there, order a coffee and practice my game on her.

I’d use push-pull, making fun of the way she wiggled her nose when she talked, or how her lips curled upwards when she was annoyed. I’d show her new gambits, like palm reading, or the horsey flowers routine. I’d do everything except pull the trigger and ask her out.

One day she’d had enough. In the middle of one of my jokes, she said, “Tony, why don’t you just get real with me?”

“Just get real.” Uggh. She was right. I’d been over-gaming. Trying way too hard. Practicing rather than seducing.

Taking something incredibly complex and skill-based seems as if it’s natural, easy – even effortless, as if you were born gifted. That’s the law of Sprezzatura. But to get to Sprezzatura, you’ll have to earn it.

It’s the process of earning your skill that leads you through the land of try-hard, where over-gaming rules the experience.

Rather than focusing on hundreds of theories and tactics, focus on maximizing your strengths and minimizing your weaknesses. Simplify your game.

There's a certain kind of girl you'll meet when you frequent social venues.

These girls are out for a specific purpose: they want to be seen.

They want people to see them: how good they look, how popular they are, how in-demand.

Any kind of social venue will have women like this:

• Nightclubs have them
• Lounges have them
• Bars have them
• Parties have them
• Wine tastings have them
• Art gallery events have them
• Charity events have them

Now, you might at first think if a girl is out to be seen, she's not a worthwhile prospect for a night of bedroom delights. Yet that's not always the case. The psychology of a girl like this is one of seeking validation. She desires the validation of 'being seen'... she wants others to see her, think well of her, and admire her.

In some cases, you can turn this drive of hers for validation directly to your advantage, and become a source of validation she pursues. In other cases you can serve as a kind of reprieve from the pressures of validation-seeking; one she can run off with later on in the night once she's quenched her thirst for validation.

Today we'll talk about some tactics to use to bring these types of girls to bed.

But first, we should explain whom these women are and what's happening in their heads a little bit more.

Do pickup lines work on women? Yes, but canned lines can backfire if you don’t know how and when to use them. Here’s how to make your lines work for you.

Pickup lines – can’t screw with them, can’t screw without them.

The first thing I want to address here is that you shouldn’t let anyone tell you that master seducers don’t use canned lines. Whether they’re technically pickup lines, stories, quips, jokes, whatever... everyone uses them. Because they work.

The important thing here is that it’s difficult to know what will work, when you should use lines, how you should use them, where you should use them, and on whom you should use them.

There are a plethora of pickup lines tailored for a plethora of female personalities and situations, so for women you just met, you’re likely just rolling the dice by using a pickup line. With experience, you simply gain the ability to make educated guesses.

Highly-skilled guys have the advantage of experience, which gives them a better idea of what to say to particular girls, and whether to use a canned line or craft something on the spot that’s more natural and unique.

And not only do you have to consider a line’s effect on particular girls, you also must understand what type of person you are to know what works well for your body language, attitude, and style.

The seduction community has its share of critics who portray pickup artists as unnatural and manipulative. Here’s why we don’t see it that way.

Remember that classic line from the movie Fight Club? What was the first rule? Oh yeah, don’t talk about Fight Club. And in that movie, almost everyone broke the rule.

The result? The ranks exploded, and they were branded a terrorist organization.

When I first got into pickup, I joined a men’s pickup artist group called the Montreal Lair. It was run by a guy named Cliff who was made Internet-famous by that book The Game. He made me sign a non-disclosure agreement, promising not to talk about the group. “Media has infiltrated us before. We need to protect the identity of our members,” he told me.

Since then pickup artistry has gone mainstream.

Now YouTubers have in-field videos with millions of views. Books on the subject have sold millions of copies, and websites like Girls Chase get millions of readers per month. Yet we hide.

You should always have a few fresh, recent stories to tell about your life.

These don't have to be particularly amazing stories. But they should be a little interesting, they should be recent, and they should display some interesting trait about you.

For instance, do you ever get people run up to you with strange requests? Four days ago I was at a Starbucks, eating a yogurt cup and reading my Kindle. They have this low-fat yogurt at Starbucks that is horrible. I don't know who wants yogurt with the fat out. But if you get the mixed berry yogurt, you can scoop up some berry and granola with the yogurt so it isn't too awful.

Well, I'm sitting there at this table by the window by myself, and I notice some girl hovering nearby. She looks like she's looking out the window, but I think she wants something.

Anyway, I go back to my book and my slightly awful low-fat yogurt.

The girl suddenly appears again, right at my table, and interrupts my reading. She says excuse me, do you have WhatsApp on your phone?

I look at her. She's pretty. But her face is glistening like she's been running a marathon or has a gland problem or something. And she looks all serious and distracted.

I can't tell if she's trying to meet someone and lost her phone, if she's using this as an excuse to meet me, or if she wants to steal my phone.

"I need to log into my WhatsApp account to check my messages," she tells me.

"Oh, sorry," I say. "I don't have WhatsApp."

But she doesn't leave. She just stands there, with her glistening face and her serious, distracted look.

"Oh," she says. "Because I thought everyone has WhatsApp. I just need to log into my account."

I don't know if she didn't hear me or what. She's not even really looking at me now, just glancing around as if scanning for predators. I do a quick mental calculus of "Do I want to go out of my way to help this random sweaty distracted chick? Do I want to tell her she can download WhatsApp to my phone, then sit there and watch her like a hawk while she uses it to make sure she doesn't make a break to run out of Starbucks with it?"

Instead I just tell her "Sorry, I don't have it."

She stands there for another moment, still looking sweaty and distracted. Finally she says "Okay, thanks" and walks off.

I notice her 15 minutes later over at some long table in the Starbucks, texting on a phone, still looking sweaty and serious but now laser-focused on whatever she's texting. So I guess she found someone to lend her a phone.

I dunno, what would you do in that scenario? I might've been more inclined to lend her my phone if she'd used a napkin first and wiped all that sweat off.

Frame control makes the difference between becoming her lover or getting stuck in her friend zone. If you want sex with the women you meet, this information is vital.

Hey, guys. Today I want to discuss how frame control can impact the entirety of your interactions with women, especially in terms of seduction and sleeping with the women you meet – rather than becoming just friends.

I will get a bit deeper into what effects frames have on how you interact and why it is key to set the right frames early. Failing to do so can make it very difficult to reach your goals with a girl, no matter what they are.

Many guys see seduction and pickup as a linear process – i.e., a set of techniques or steps that follow each other. To some extent, this is true – if you look at pickup from a micro perspective. But you cannot leave out the big picture – how each step of the process affects the others; or more importantly, how previous steps affect future steps.

This is so critical. It is exactly what most guys tend to forget about. Everything builds on previous steps. This post aims to explain how these mechanisms work so that you can gain a better understanding of your game and perhaps, in turn, better it.

To give you some examples of what I am talking about, consider the following:

• Guy cannot get out of the friend zone – despite his efforts in applying the latest and most powerful pickup tech, he is still stuck there.

• Guy meets girl, she laughs, touches him, but he totally fails to escalate – she is just not a sexual girl (so you think). Similarly: Guy has a perfect date – now faces last-minute resistance from hell.

• Guy displays high social value, but all he gets is “take my Instagram” when interacting with girls.

All these issues can be caused by a failure in setting the right frames – or at least, avoiding setting the wrong ones in the first place. The frame you set when you meet will dictate the interaction and will only be amplified with time throughout the interaction(s). The more the frame is set (good or bad), the harder it is to get out of it.

In the case of the friend zone, the guy is stuck because he has been perceived as a friend because of his previous actions, but more importantly, because of the frames he has set through his presence, actions, and so on. And as times goes on, the frame becomes stronger and harder to get out of.

Many of you are familiar with what a frame is and how it comes into play, but for those of you who are unfamiliar with the concept, I highly advise that you check out the following posts after reading this one.

• Get Rock-Solid Frame Control with the Women You Like Guaranteed
• Frame Control Examples: Out-Frame Anyone

When you try to have sex with a girl, but fail, often that's it: you won't get another shot with her. Yet all is not lost with her – you still have options.

Failing in your escalation to sex is, often, a kiss of death.

You were inches away from intimacy with a girl... and then you didn't reach sex.

Perhaps you started to kiss her alone at your place, but she broke things off and left. Or you got her clothes partly off and had your hands on her body, only for her to get up, dress, and depart.

What's more maddening still is the power dynamic shift that occurs after a failed attempt at mating like this. She cools off to you dramatically... while you go crazy trying to get her back!

It's nuts. And it drives you nuts.

How can she be so cool toward you when the two of you were so close to intimacy?

In today's article we'll talk about a few tactics to attempt to turn things around in these sorts of situations. We'll also talk about why, from a strategic point of view, unless the girl is an absolute keeper, it's often better to take at best a few more shots, yet be ready to walk away.