Pickup

There are two general methods for being persistent with girls. Each comes with its own benefits and risks. Which one you choose depends on a few key factors.

Hey, guys. Last week, I wrote a post on persistence, a key concept of pickup and seduction that we have discussed numerous times on this site.

There are a lot of misconceptions about persistence, both on a practical and theoretical level. Today, we will discuss the latter – a theoretical perspective on persistence.

This post is primarily theoretical, but the theory also affects the practical application of the technique.

If you are more of a practically oriented person, you should still read this post because it may affect not only the way you view persistence but also the way you use it.

Today’s topic is primarily about two different forms of persistence.

The thing they both have in common is that you will be persisting to get a chick. However, they not only look different, but they also have different implications.

See a hot girl during the day and want to get her number, or even take her home? It can be done! But if you expect to reel her in, you’ll need a quality hook.

Most new guys have a hard time hooking a woman they’ve approached during the day – and it’s no surprise. When you approach women, your veins course with adrenaline. You’re consumed with fear over what people will think about you. You can barely force air through your lungs and move your legs, never mind form consonants and vowels into intelligent conversation.

If you’re in this nervous state, most women won’t hook. They’ll take one look at your stuttering, anxious being and just… keep on walking.

Remember the rule of state transference – whatever you feel, she feels.

That’s why I recommend spending at least a year working on your approach anxiety and hooking. What to actually say should be the last thing you worry about, as it’s the hardest aspect of game to learn and it relies more on experience than study.

Once you get the fundamentals down, hooking becomes natural.

In my day-game model, hooking is simply getting the girl you approached to engage you back. You talk, she listens – she talks, you listen.

You tried to take her to bed, only for her to tell you "It's too fast for me." Your solution: 5 options that can smooth things out and get her to stay.

You ran the courtship (up until now) to perfection. Sparks flew when you talked to her. She laughed at your jokes (and you were wittier than usual). You remembered to touch, and touched her well. You took the lead and led her home.

Everything went great -- till a moment ago. Then as you tried to kiss her, she distanced herself from you. She told you "It's too fast for me."

You tried to persist; she said "I think I should go."

What do you do? Deep within your gut, you know if she leaves, she's gone. Your lizard brain knows what happens when you come this close then fail to close the deal. Yet you also freeze up with fear: you live in a paranoid feminist society. Many women now view male persistence as all but analogous to assault. The last thing you want to be is pushy... especially while alone with a woman you're only just getting to know.

Must you surrender? Must you let her go... say goodbye to a happy coupling never to be? Cast her into the wilderness to find a man less desirable than you, less wonderful than you, who will please her less than you?

Seems like a tragedy, doesn't it? It shouldn't have to end on so ignominious a turn.

And while there's no 100% way to change a girl's mind as she's on her way out, there are a few things you can try. But first you must understand why, when things had gone so well to that point, she suddenly balked.

To get laid in a competitive dating market, you need an alluring pitch. You gotta know the customer and present yourself well to gain an edge and close the deal.

You need to market well, but marketing is only attention. Once you get attention, you have to make the sale. I follow this process with women and with Girls Chase.

With Girls Chase, I write articles. I post on Instagram and YouTube. This is all marketing.

Then, over email, phone calls, texting, and Instagram, I sell my private coaching and my book, which will soon be a standalone product, but is an upsell for One Date right now. I had to learn (and am still learning) both sides of the equation.

Marketing is about presenting yourself in a way that’s intriguing and different to people, as the market is very saturated. It’s also about being clear, honest, and entertaining. If people get bored reading or watching you, you won’t sell. If people don’t think what you have to say is new or unique, you won’t sell.

It’s the same when talking to a girl. If your first impression isn’t strong and there’s no external reason for her to give you more attention (e.g., you’re in her social circle), then she will bow out and click on some other video on the sidebar (i.e., another guy at the bar, party, or club).

Sales is taking someone who is in your marketing funnel and converting them into a customer. Someone who clicks “buy” and enters their information. It’s almost as intimate as someone deciding to sleep with you. Almost.

They have to want it but also feel it’s worth the cost. Is it worth shelling out $70 for Hector’s college book? Is it worth spending $2,000 on his coaching?

My frame is, “Yes, it is. It’s worth even more than that, so get it now while it’s this affordable.” The stronger my frame becomes, the better I am at selling and marketing. If you believe in your product, people will believe in it, too.

Some choose to market with deception. They skew who they are. There’s nothing wrong with poetic exaggeration. Every good story is embellished. But if your only strategy is clickbait and false promises, you will eventually be revealed for the fraud you are.

This often happens when you’re good but not great with women. Women will like you and sleep with you. But after spending time with you, the glitches in your character are revealed. This is fine – if you dedicate yourself to improving your product. You.

The product is you.

Editor’s Note: this is our first post from Darwin, whom our very own Hector Castillo has adopted as wingman in Romania. He specializes in social circle game and Instagram game. Here, he shares his experience with how being picky can boost your attractiveness. Here’s Darwin! –BT

Being picky means knowing what you want. Knowing what you want enables you to choose a path to obtain it. And this decisiveness helps attract the women you like.

Everyone has their preference when it comes to dating women, whether that be what music she listens to, shoe size, political views, or even her hair color. Knowing what you want helps you find your next favorite girl – and it enables you to get her in bed, too.

The level of your game is what allows you to pick and choose your women. If you’re fresh in the game and haven’t honed that fire that burns deep within all men, fear not – you have a lot of time and plenty of girls with which to practice.

Allow yourself to be vulnerable, go and approach, and earn the right to be picky with the girls you pursue and how you pursue them.

Every loss brings you closer to your next girl. Improve faster by recognizing what went right and what went wrong. Do you remember which joke made her giggle? Do you remember when it all went to hell and she walked away? Focus on that, and you will be much closer to creating a list of shaggable women.

When you get to a certain level, you can be picky with not only the quality of girls but also how you approach them. You will know who is interested and likely to respond well to your advances. You don’t need to waste time approaching random girls who may or may not be attracted to you. Unless, of course, you’re a dog and want to. My buddy Hector is one of those guys – he’s always horny.

It’s a proven fact that persistence gets you laid, but there is a fine line between being persistent in an attractive, dominant way vs. coming off as desperate.

Hey guys, welcome back.

Today, we’re going to discuss persistence and its limits. Persistence is a technique commonly used when facing resistance with women. It’s a good way to both:

• Counter her resistance

• Find out whether she is resisting or just not into you

The typical rule says persist three times, and if that doesn’t work, you should back off and consider her behavior a swing of rejection, unless she reinitiates on her own. Obviously, this rule should be broken if you face heavy resistance. You know, the type of behavior that screams “Hell no!” If you encounter those signals, you need to back off fully.

Persistence is attractive because:

• It takes away the woman’s guilt about hooking up – she initially resisted, but you convinced her. This is a good way to counter anti-slut defense-related resistance.

• It shows you’re a man who knows what he wants and is confident enough to go for it.

• It displays dominance, which is also attractive.

There are a lot of misconceptions regarding dominance. Many guys usually confuse persistence with neediness. The line between persistence and neediness – which we know is death to female compliance and attraction – is a fine one that can be difficult to see.

So, let’s look at how to persist the right way without coming off as needy. Some of these points have been discussed before, but I always think recaps of key concepts, especially those which add different perspectives, are useful. Additionally, newer guys will benefit a lot from this post.

Do you get WAY more rejections than dates? Well, it’s the same for even the best seducers. Here’s how treating rejection differently can help.

Violets are blue, roses are red, without many options, seduction is dead.

I’m a true poet.

How familiar is this day-game situation? You approach a girl, give her a compliment, talk for a few minutes, get her number, text a few times, ask her out, and… nothing. She just answers “lol”, changes the subject, or flitters away like a pretty ghost.

It feels like a diss, doesn’t it? After all, you had the guts to approach her. You spent months, perhaps years, learning how to do this – to overcome your shyness, your approach anxiety. To improve everything from your appearance and body language to your worldview and lifestyle!

And she doesn’t care. Not one bit. She didn’t even ask you a single question about yourself. How dare she. You spent thousands of dollars on self-help, seminars, books, and online courses. You learned to meditate, increase your income, and build world-class social skills.

And she flakes. It’s like you’ve reverted to a San Francisco street turd.

Just last week, I went to a gay pride parade and met this lovely creature. Long, black hair down to her bum. Wide, full lips. Big, expressive eyes. I reached out my hand and she placed hers in it. I pulled her in and said, “You’re something, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” she nodded, her body pressed against mine, eyes staring straight into mine. A minute of conversation, and we kissed. Approaches don’t get much better than this.

It was “you had me at hello” game.

We were going on separate paths, so I got her number. I got home, still a bit giddy from that post-flirtation high. That evening, I texted her. Nine hours later, she replied with “Haha.” The lowest investment reply possible. So, I waited eight hours and texted her again. No reply. No “Sorry I’m not interested” or “Maybe another time.” Just annoying silence.

And I still haven’t heard from her.

“But Tony, you’re supposed to be a Grand Master Jedi Puuaah! No girls flake on real Pooooass!”

Yeah, girls flake on me, ignore me, diss me – just like you and every guru, coach, and player I know. No matter how tight your game is, most women just won’t be interested or available. They might humor you or amuse themselves at your expense, but they won’t go home with you or ever see you again. That’s just the cold reality of the game. Sniff.

But there’s some girl out there who’s down. She’s very down. It’s your job to find her. That’s why numbers matter. The more leads you have, the better your odds.