Journeyman have been at it a while and have begun to develop major good habits and success streaks as practitioners of the social arts
Comporting oneself well, removing tics, fidgets, and other nervous gestures, and giving oneself a general bearing of a man of breeding and distinction are some of the foundations of good fundamentals, no matter what identity you strive to embody.
This is Part 2 of my series on why relationships fall apart. You can read Part 1, on what I called ‘game-personality disconnect’ (where you use one persona to get her, then adopt a different persona in the relationship) here.
Part 2 is on your long-term value proposition. That is to say, if she’s going to stick around with you, there must be a clear value proposition there over the long-term.
If you have an easy time sleeping with new women but a hard time keeping them around, it’s likely this issue is your bugbear.
The biggest part of this issue, of course, is understanding the answer to this question: what does this girl require of a man for her to stick with him long-term?
Unless you can answer that, it’s luck you rely on that she stays with you.
Today, let’s talk about how you rely on something more than luck.
Hi there. I hope you are still
rockin.
Today we will get back to
basics – because basics are so awesome!
A few days ago I received a message from a reader. It went like this:
“Hey man, I’m a big fan of your writing on Girls Chase. Your stories are legendary and they fit the mold of what I’d like to achieve. You’ve written extensively about intermediate and advanced topics. But I thought I’d write you and see if you would consider posting some more beginner material.”
[....]
“It seems to me like when you go to a club, with friends or all by yourself, you have a very clear idea of what you’re doing all the time. I would love to hear more thoughts on how you do it. What are you looking for when you first get to a bar? What’s your first priority? Are you relaxed when you get there or are you a little nervous? Do you use canned material or go with the flow? What is your intention when you first start talking to a girl?
[....]
“Think about it! And thanks for all your work... it has changed my life on a deep level.”
I cut out some parts of the message as not everything was relevant for this exact post. Now the message covered a lot of amazing topic suggestions. I might not cover them all but I will cover quite a few of them in my upcoming posts.
So the questions asked in this message were about my mindsets and intentions – so I will respond to them directly so that those of you who are curious about how I think can understand where I come from. A lot of seducers think like I do.
Let us begin.
With this article, I’m kicking off a new series called
“Why
Relationships Fall Apart” that I’ll make further installments in as the
weeks go by. The first in the WRFA series is on something I’ve deemed
‘game-personality disconnect’. A comment from a reader named ‘straw’ in
my article on “Why Women Misremember the Past”
describes this perfectly:
“Hi Chase.
As much as i dont have much problem with pick up and short term relations, I have found it impossible to maintain a longer relationship. It is almost as if suddenly my value dropped to zero. The pattern repeats itself all the time and its been going on for years now. At the beginning, women get crazy about me, the persue a relationship and after more or less 3-4 months there is a complete almost overnight shoft in the interest department.
Is it possible that I employ too much game at the beginning so they are attracted to someone im not? I may put on some game at the beginning which makes them pursue me hard and then the moment i get involved, usually after a couple of months, i show them i am involved and their interest drops, they start criticizing me, and its almost like eveything i do is SUDDENLY bad and wrong or ridiculous.
If yoy are in a relationship with somebody of course you show you care, what would be the point otherwise. Why does my value drop a couple of months after we enter the relationship?”
The problem straw has run into is that the way you attract and take women itself serves as a screening tool, drawing in the women who are most attracted to that ‘style’.
Just like you probably have your own preference for submissive girls or feisty girls, and girls of an opposing style bore you or drive you nuts, women have their preferences too – and if you lure in women looking for one thing by behaving like it, only to revert to something else later on, for her it’s kind of like buying a ticket to a metalcore concert because that’s her scene only to show up there and discover it’s jazz (or vice versa).
One of the cycles familiar to lots and lots of people is the break-up-get-back-together cycle.
If you’ve been dating before, odds are you’ve gone through this once or twice (or thrice, or more) yourself.
Here’s how it works: you and a girlfriend break up. Then after a while, you realize how perfect she’d been for you, and reach out to her to get back together. Or, you’re plugging along in your single life, when she reaches out to you and wants to see you again.
Then pretty soon, you’re back together. For a few days or a few weeks, it’s as great as ever!
Then things go back to the way they were before the first time you broke up. If you initiated the breakup before, you may start wishing you’d stayed broken up. If she’d initiated the breakup before, you may notice she’s become annoyed with those same things about you that precipitated the initial breakup in the first place.
So you break up again. A little time goes by, and maybe you get back together again. Then maybe you break up again later.
Here’s a question you may not have asked yourself, though: why do you do this? And why does she do it?
Obviously it’s kind of a silly nonsense dance, isn’t it?
Either stay together, or stay broken up, right?
Yet you aren’t doing that. But why?
Hi everyone. Last time I made an introductory post about logistics. If you are new to the field of seduction, then that post is a must read. However, everyone should read it – a good recap of fundamentals is once in a while necessary.
This week’s post will be more suitable for advanced players – but I think it can still be a useful read to any aspiring seducers out there because we will discuss in this post tricky logistical situations that you need to be able to handle. This post might in this case be of help and increase your chances of getting laid.
The topic of today will be those situations where you have nowhere to pull her and you have no others choices than being creative when it comes to logistics – public sex, for example. But before we get to that, let me do a little recap of an old post.
A few weeks ago I made a post about the 5 factors of successfully picking up girls, where I covered 5 factors that I believe are key to success with seduction. Those factors were:
I explained in depth how each of these factors would affect your seduction and your chances of getting laid. I also mentioned how one could effect – or “work” – each factor in order to identify and calibrate them for your benefit.
At the end of that post, I also mentioned that if you lack a particular factor, you could compensate with focusing more on another factor. One example I made was about logistics – i.e., not having any seduction location to pull to (you don’t have your own place and she doesn’t have her own place either) could be compensated with good game: make her so horny that logistics don’t matter anymore.
A commenter SGent asked the following question:
“So let us say that both your and her logistics suck, then if you manage to get her so horny – to the point of no return – logistics will not matter anymore
Please give more details on this statement.”
Yes, he referred to a statement I made in that post that was unclear to him. I will respond to his question here. This is actually a topic I am really excited about. It has really caught my attention lately (which is also why I am writing this post).
In my article “Why Leadership is so Key to Seducing Women”,
a reader asks the about what the causes are of women resisting or
rebuffing you:
“Howdy Chase, I would personally like to thank you for your writing. Truly inspiring and life-changing for me.
Your leadership advice has reminded me of your “Tell if her walls are up” article and its pertaining point of avoiding red flags that provoke women’s walls. However, I am clueless what triggers women’s walls. Would you mind elaborating on those landmines? Best regards!”
The article he’s referring to, about women’s walls, is this one:
Tell If a Girl Likes You: Are Her Walls Up Or Down?
So what does raise a woman’s walls in the first place?
Well, we can break them down into three (3) categories:
Below, I’ll talk about each... plus the best ways for dealing with each.
Tell me if this sounds like you. You see a girl at a bar, you approach her, it goes okay, but you don’t have enough social momentum to get her to come home with you.
After a while you bow out. You proceed to meander around the bar for a couple hours, avoiding her and her friends like a social disease. Finally, after you talk to every girl in the club you leave alone, wondering what went wrong. What you did wrong is you didn’t re-engage.
The re-engage is a powerful weapon, because it changes your mindset. It changes your mind from needing everything to happen right then, to trusting that if it doesn’t happen now it will happen later.
It will allow you to go up to girls with zero expectations, and help you have a lot more fun. It will allow you to turn the whole club into your personal party. The re-engage can be used in a variety of ways. The wisdom of the re-engage works in many circumstances, from day game at a coffee shop to getting a friend with benefits back in your life.
Once upon a time, a young man prepared to leave home and venture into the city to find a wife. Before he left, his father, a simple farmer, gave him some advice: “Along the way, there are many who will want your ear. These will give you much advice on securing a wife, but the advice will not be for good for you, and it will not be good for your wife. The advice they give you will be based on fanciful ideas
A reader commented on my article on backward rationalization about women’s frequent misremembering or twisting of past event details:
“This is a great article. As a rational man, with integrity, I struggle with this all the time. Young women will routinely misremember things that they said and did, in a way that allows them to not accept responsibility. They’ll conjure up conversations, filling in my words, for their benefit. Very often it is to save them from losing face. Other times it is so they can avoid confronting the truth about themselves. To me, this is lying, but if I’m mad about it, it’s some “loss of frame”.
I had a post about this on redpill reddit a few months ago, asking if you should ever question a girl about why she was dishonest, as it seems pointless. The consensus seems that you just tell a woman what she did, and that it wont be tolerated. When she argues, you ignore.”
What our reader here is remarking on is one of the core differences in how men and women perceive the world, and it’s one it’s tremendously important to have a handle on if you want to run your relationships with women well.
The understanding is this: how a woman remembers a past event has less to do with the facts of the event than it has to do with how she feels right now.
This sounds topsy-turvy and wrongheaded from a male perspective, because how on Earth can you expect to create a sane and stable world if the past shifts with the sands of your very emotions?
However, it serves a critical role in how women deal with the world, as well as with those around them.
