(3) Journeyman

This post is primarily for intermediate to advanced players, but it can also be useful for beginners (because they might also end up making some of the mistakes listed in this post).

This article is based on a note sheet from 2011 I found on my old computer yesterday. It was just a short note covering a few bullet points – things I had to remember when going out – i.e., covering my main sticking points back then.

Reading back, I can now see how these mistakes I made back then that were covered on this note sheet are mistakes I still occasionally make, but also mistakes I have seen many other experienced seducers make.

This post will cover those mistakes and how to handle the different issues at hand. That being said, this post is fit for everyone. because everything listed here are mistakes beginners also make.

However, I would say that intermediate to advanced players will get the most out of this post, as beginners have more important things to think about and work on – things that are more important for their success, such as:

• Learning how to open and immerse/hook her in: if you don’t make contact with women, you just won’t get laid whatsoever

• How to escalate: men rarely get laid without escalation

• How to isolate: if you don’t isolate, escalation will become very difficult

• Dealing with logistics: vital

The things listed in this post are 5 common mistakes good seducers make, oftentimes as a result of actually being attractive or “being good” with women. Have this in mind when you read this post and you will see what I mean. Without any further delays, let us jump straight into the good stuff.

There’s a truly wonderful post (and equally wonderful comment section discussion) on LessWrong titled “Why startup founders have mood swings (and why they may have uses).” The authors describe the mood swings startup founders tend to go through, vacillating between euphoria and despair. I can certainly relate; in the course of running startups (such as Girls Chase), I’ve had plenty of opportunity to sit at both points on that spectrum. It’s kind of a taboo topic (nothing to make you sound unmanly like talking about mood swings), but hey, let’s tackle it.

The authors of the post above point to other examples when people are likely to experience similar mood swings:

• Early on in their first ever romantic relationship

• When deeply invested in furthering a devoted cause

• Whilst struggling to create a first great work of art or achieve something notable

And it stands out to me there’s another place endeavor I’ve experienced these same mood swings I’ve felt during my startup career, and that was during my first two or three years actively seeking improvement with girls.

I know a lot of other men go through this too, especially the men who have a burning desire to become ‘great’ with girls... or at least to improve their prospects markedly.

Yet many more men wash out of the seduction game early on, when the lows of the mood swing prove too much for them.

What I’d like to discuss in this article is why the mood swings get you, what you can expect when you apply yourself to improving with women, and how to stack the decks in your favor to prevent yourself from ‘washing out’.

A few weeks ago I read over a few of my posts from 2015. I noticed that most of them were about dealing with inferiority. Whether it was race, baldness, height, or build, the theme was “I feel inferior because ...”

Now my other posts were fine, they dealt with the symptoms of inferiority – but I didn’t write about how to get rid of the disease. Because of this, I wanted the first post I write for 2016 to be one that tackles this issue head on. Inferiority takes on many forms, it affects what decisions you make while talking to a girl, it affects how you plan your life, it affects how much success you will have and how you will feel about it.

“I’ve got a question for you.”

The cute older waitress smiles at me expectantly.

“Yes?”

“You see those three girls sitting at the table over there?”

She follows my eyes, sees the girl, and then nods at me.

“What do you think would happen if I went over there and said hi. Would that be weird?”

She smiles, giggles, and responds:

“No, I think that would be really awesome of you actually. Not a lot of men would do that.”

I smile. I don’t need her permission, but I’m curious. I continue,

“What do you think I should say?”

She thinks for a moment and laughs,

“I don’t know! I guess just introduce yourself or... yeah, I’m not sure!”

I smile again. I know exactly what I’m going to say.

Ever see the film Vicki Cristina Barcelona? If not, stop reading and go watch it. In my favorite scene, the sultry Spaniard Juan Antonio exchanges slews of sexy glances with the adventurous and flirty Cristina. All the while, Cristina’s uptight and reserved friend Vicki admonishes Cristina’s flirty behavior and flawlessly performs the role of a cautious and boring upper-middle class woman.

Recognizing Cristina’s overly obvious eye-fucking, Juan strolls over to their table. He looks lazily from one girl to the other, and then rests his eyes on Cristina and simply asks,

“American?”

His intonation barely registers as a question and is devoid of all fucks, drawing them both into his world. And despite some protest, he convinces them both to fly with him to Oviedo and spend the weekend with him. And, yes, he eventually smashes both of them.

I had to try it out myself. Not only did Juan’s bravado stir my Latin blood, but once I consider approaching a girl, very few reasons can stop me.

After paying my bill, I tell the waitress to wish me luck and walk over to the girls.

They all look up at me expectantly. I pause for an extra second, because why not, and then say simply, to no girl in particular,

”You from here?”

This is the fourth and final installment in my series on why relationships fall apart. The previous three parts you can read here:

1. Why Relationships Fall Apart, Part 1: Game-Personality Disconnect
2. Why Relationships Fall Apart, Part 2: Long-Term Value Unclear
3. Why Relationships Fall Apart, Part 3: Stability Issues
   

In this article, we’ll talk about the last reason relationships will fall apart. That’s boredom. However, because it’s a topic we’ve discussed before, I’m only going to skim over what we’ve previously discussed; therefore, to get the full understanding on the subject, I strongly recommend you read (or reread) these articles first:

• If Your Girl is Bored Change These 6 Things
• Self-Expansion and Growth in Relationships
• Commitment Points: Why You Must Avoid
  
• She Must Never Become Your Mission
  

Now, in Part 3 of this series, we discussed the difference between men and women when it comes to relationship goals: men want peace, while women want progress.

What happens when a woman feels she’s achieved all she wants or cares to achieve with a man, though? What happens when progress is at an end – not because he is unstable, but because there’s simply nothing more she feels the need to secure with him?

Well, at that point, the challenge is complete; the game is won.

And, much like some game you’re stuck in once you’ve already done everything there is to do with it, there’s nothing left for her to do but feel bored.

This is Part 3 of my series on why relationships fall apart. Part 1 was on game-personality disconnect, when the approach you use for getting her clashes unfavorably with the version of ‘you’ she gets to know while actually dating you. Part 2 was on the problem of your long-term value to her being unclear, when she doesn’t see the value there from you she wants or expects in a long-term mate.

Our topic for today is stability issues; basically, when she feels insecure in the relationship.

If you’re a veteran of long-term relationships (or even had your fair share of short-term ones with as-yet hopeful girls), you’ve no doubt heard the following common refrains:

• “What are we?”

• “Where is this going?”

• “I need to know this is headed somewhere.”

• “I just need to know I’m not wasting my time.”

What a woman’s telling you when she utters one of these phrases is that the stability of the relationship is lacking, and she needs you to calm the rocky seas.

These are just the surface of the ocean, however. There’s a whole body of seawater and a thousand leagues beneath it you must grasp if you’re to prevent stability issues capsizing your relationship.

In a PM, one of our readers asked the following question:

“I know there is a lot of material out there that covers this stuff. However I also know you must do things differently. For example you're probably the only seducer I've read who says you don't care about social proof. To me this makes it clear that you have incredible seduction skills, as you actually overcame this barrier. This is insane to me because so often in bars I feel like girls aren't responding to me well because I don't have social proof. And when I have girls with me they're much warmer.”

This is a an important thing to take note of, because a lot of pick-up and seduction material out there, especially when it comes to club game, emphasizes how status plays a huge role. The reader is right: I do not care that much about social proof or social status in the club. Still, I believe social proof can be an incredible tool of seduction.

So without any further ado, allow me to break this all down.