(3) Journeyman

Hot girls are the hardest to get. Or is it average-looking girls who are, paradoxically, the hardest? 3 theories dig in and explain.

Previously we challenged the notion that hot girls are always harder to get, and that the hotter they are the harder it is to date and sleep with them. To do this, we looked at six (6) different variables aside from beauty that have an impact on how difficult it is to pick her up. Those were:

1. A girl’s personality
2. Her mood
3. Her sociocultural background
4. Her social circle
5. Where and how you meet her
6. And her self-awareness of her looks

You can read more about these variables in my previous post. If this is the first time you’re encountering them, you will find they shed a new light on the common misconception that “hotter = harder”.

Today we will delve deeper into what makes a girl more or less difficult to date and bed. This post is all about seduction theory. We’ll have a look at different theories on how looks alone affect a girl’s level of difficulty. Thus, the main focus of this post will be on the “look variable”.

The theories covered in this post might seem contradictive to some. One theory we dissect will be on why hot women are harder to get. Another theory we’ll look at today rests on the claim that average women are harder to pick up than more attractive ones.

My opinion on such theories is that they are all more or less correct and do not contradict each other – they just explain two different phenomenon.

What do girls look for in a boyfriend? Lots: relationship goal fit, value fit, relationship promise, even the first kiss, all matter.

A reader writes in:

“Chase,

You are phenomenal. You and Corey Wayne... Do you know of him? Anyways, I want to look at things from a different perspective. I am dating literally a ten out of ten the most beautiful of all women. Let’s get down to brass tacks. What is it that makes a woman choose a man to be BOYFRIEND material? Especially when she is the best of the best. She must see him as an alpha male the one who sets the current of his own world. I am very curious. Because honestly... Yes she is the best but if she is going to be lame and want to move on(dump me, being I do not make her feel special.and slack on my part.. Or just in general) I am ready to move on and find the next sexiest woman. Let me know. I am interested. I want to know what separates us strong men from the rest. Btw, Thank you for your insights. I accredit you and your team to my success. Best!”

It’s a deep and interesting question. And one that’s well worth thinking about.

I’ve recently had the chance to watch a great girl who’s hard on the boyfriend hunt cycle through a number of different options. She’s advertising her desire for a boyfriend like crazy, all while stressing that it’s a quality boyfriend she wants (and lamenting that she may well be alone forever... which usually in my experience means she’ll have a new boyfriend within another week or two).

So I think this is a fun one to tackle. Why does a girl pick the guy she picks to eventually be her man?

The chaotic atmosphere of nightclubs makes them perfect to build sexual state in – and equally perfect to lose it. To succeed in clubs you must be able to beat the risks.

Last time we discussed the role of sexual state and how you can generate it. Today we will focus on how to use sexual state to your advantage: how the communication of your sexual state (for example physical escalation) affects women, the different factors that can affect your delivery both positively and negatively, and how to best deal with those factors.

In order to avoid confusing you, this thread will focus on communicating sexual intent.

Your sexual state lets you communicate your sexual intentions. You do this either by talking about sex, or non-verbally, by, for example, physical escalation - a concept you'll recognize from seduction literature as "vibing."

You do not need to be in a sexual state to communicate sexual intent - but it definitely helps. Read my previous article about how to enter a sexual state.

This article will cover the different factors that affect your delivery. Keep in mind that some of these factors can affect each other. They are not distinct categories but rather "blurry" components in a model of how things work in real life. If you aren't a technical guy, just consider this a post on escalation and the different factors that come into play when escalating.

Let's start out by discussing a situation factor...

Sexual state lets you project sexuality and attract girls with your vibe. To get it, you must imagine sex, quit masturbation, and get laid more.

Hi there. Today I will discuss sexual state – as in, the feeling of being horny and desiring sex – and how it can benefit you in the field. I will discuss how it works and how you can use it to its fullest potential. Sexual state is a biologically informed mental state in which you want to bond on a sexual level with someone.

So let us first discuss the masculine aspect of sexual state – how can we use sexual state in field to attract women? Then we will talk about how you can increase your chances of getting into a sexual state to begin with.

When does no mean no? As the lines of consent increasingly blur, today’s men find themselves caught in a sexual Catch-22.

You’re somewhere private with a girl... kissing, caressing, running hands on one another’s bodies. And then you go to lift her shirt up.

“No,” she says.

It’s not a firm ‘no’. It’s more of an “I’m not quite ready” no. Or so you think.

But... Well, you might be wrong. You’re not quite sure.

You don’t want to be that guy who pushes her too far and makes her do something she doesn’t want to.

She isn’t a child, of course. She’s an adult like you. She has agency; her choices are hers.

Yet you want to be a force for good... not regret.

On top of this, you’re terrified of a girl crying rape... You realize 43,000 men have false allegations of rape made against them in the U.S. every year. Most of those cases get thrown out, but often only after tens of thousands in legal fees.

It’s the Salem witch-hunt of the 2010s. And you do not want to be the accused yelling “More weight.” You don’t want your life cindered for nothing.

Yet sex resistance is part and parcel to sex with American girls. If you have intercourse in America, you will encounter this. It is what girls from here do.

So what exactly should you do? And when does ‘no’ actually mean ‘no’?

One of the more interesting questions in relationship management is this one:

The raw material of the person you’re working with, or your relationship management abilities: which matters more?

Stated differently, are you better off dating girls you know make excellent relationship candidates, or are you better off practicing excellent relationship management yourself?

Of course, you know my advice to you will be: “Do both!”

In my opinion, both these two guys:

1. The guy who picks a girl who’s a terrible fit for a relationship, yet reasons he’ll be able to ‘change’ her or ‘handle’ her; and
   

2. The guy who picks a girl who’s an incredible fit for a relationship, then proceeds to do everything wrong from a relationship management standpoint

... are equally screwed.

However, there are some wrinkles to this that are worth understanding.

There are two types of people in the world, romantically-speaking:

• Those who always date the right person, and
• Those who always date the wrong person
  

The people who always date the right person are fairly consistently happy, contented, and have wonderful views of the opposite sex. They think dating is grand, and they’re still friends with their exes. Or at least they think warmly of them.

The people who always date the wrong person are fairly consistently ticked off, resentful, or disappointed, and often have scathing views of the opposite sex. They think dating is a grind, and they’re confused and unhappy, or even mortal enemies with their exes... when they’re not trying to get their exes back again, that is.

This article is about why people fall into one of these camps or the other: why some people always date the right person, and why others always date the wrong one.