(3) Journeyman

In my article “Why Leadership is so Key to Seducing Women”, a reader asks the about what the causes are of women resisting or rebuffing you:

“Howdy Chase, I would personally like to thank you for your writing. Truly inspiring and life-changing for me.

Your leadership advice has reminded me of your “Tell if her walls are up” article and its pertaining point of avoiding red flags that provoke women’s walls. However, I am clueless what triggers women’s walls. Would you mind elaborating on those landmines? Best regards!”

The article he’s referring to, about women’s walls, is this one:

Tell If a Girl Likes You: Are Her Walls Up Or Down?

So what does raise a woman’s walls in the first place?

Well, we can break them down into three (3) categories:

1. Environmental triggers (stuff not related to you or her)
   
2. Her default personality (i.e., it’s her problem)
   
3. Things you are doing (i.e., it’s your problem)
   

Below, I’ll talk about each... plus the best ways for dealing with each.

Tell me if this sounds like you. You see a girl at a bar, you approach her, it goes okay, but you don’t have enough social momentum to get her to come home with you.

After a while you bow out. You proceed to meander around the bar for a couple hours, avoiding her and her friends like a social disease. Finally, after you talk to every girl in the club you leave alone, wondering what went wrong. What you did wrong is you didn’t re-engage.

The re-engage is a powerful weapon, because it changes your mindset. It changes your mind from needing everything to happen right then, to trusting that if it doesn’t happen now it will happen later.

It will allow you to go up to girls with zero expectations, and help you have a lot more fun. It will allow you to turn the whole club into your personal party. The re-engage can be used in a variety of ways. The wisdom of the re-engage works in many circumstances, from day game at a coffee shop to getting a friend with benefits back in your life.

Once upon a time, a young man prepared to leave home and venture into the city to find a wife. Before he left, his father, a simple farmer, gave him some advice: “Along the way, there are many who will want your ear. These will give you much advice on securing a wife, but the advice will not be for good for you, and it will not be good for your wife. The advice they give you will be based on fanciful ideas

A reader commented on my article on backward rationalization about women’s frequent misremembering or twisting of past event details:

“This is a great article. As a rational man, with integrity, I struggle with this all the time. Young women will routinely misremember things that they said and did, in a way that allows them to not accept responsibility. They’ll conjure up conversations, filling in my words, for their benefit. Very often it is to save them from losing face. Other times it is so they can avoid confronting the truth about themselves. To me, this is lying, but if I’m mad about it, it’s some “loss of frame”.

I had a post about this on redpill reddit a few months ago, asking if you should ever question a girl about why she was dishonest, as it seems pointless. The consensus seems that you just tell a woman what she did, and that it wont be tolerated. When she argues, you ignore.”

What our reader here is remarking on is one of the core differences in how men and women perceive the world, and it’s one it’s tremendously important to have a handle on if you want to run your relationships with women well.

The understanding is this: how a woman remembers a past event has less to do with the facts of the event than it has to do with how she feels right now.

This sounds topsy-turvy and wrongheaded from a male perspective, because how on Earth can you expect to create a sane and stable world if the past shifts with the sands of your very emotions?

However, it serves a critical role in how women deal with the world, as well as with those around them.

“You wannafourfour?”

Around a year and a half ago, this Tinder message buzzes my phone as I drive back to school. I’m returning from a trial shift at a club I hope to work at for the upcoming summer.

Despite my good mood, however, I’m confused. What the hell is “fourfour”?

The girl messaging me is a cute blonde sorority girl who I’d set up a few dates with, but she always flaked. Save for a few run-ins on campus, we didn’t see each other much. Then we matched on Tinder, but it’d been days since I sent a message, with no reply. Now, at the tail-end of a Friday night, she’s messaging me to “fourfour”.

“She must be messing with me,” I think to myself.

As far as I can remember, I’ve always thought that the entire world was playing a prank on me. And women flirting with me and chasing me, well, that was just the cruelest of jokes. I feared that the moment I flirted back or asked them out, everyone around me, including the girl, would turn towards me, point their fingers, and laugh as they tease me “Oh you really thought she’d get with YOU?!” This was the insecurity that caged the seducer in me for far too long.

Few things carry as much of that ‘punch in the gut’ feeling as having a girl you’re seeing tell you she’s pregnant.

Unless you’re married and trying for children, hearing she has a bun in the oven is one of those shocks you never fully expect, and even if some part of you might’ve liked the idea of knocking this cute girl up in theory, being face to face with a real pregnancy is different.

And if you’re really unlucky (or, more accurately, really incautious), you now find yourself confronted with a girl who tells you she’s pregnant but is not a girl you’d like to have a child with in this or any universe.

The moral police reading this article will tut-tut and tell you, “Well now see, that’s why you need to be more responsible!”

That’s not the point of this article though.

This article’s about firefighting: what do you do when she hits you with this?

Hi everyone. I hope you are all doing well. This post will be answering similar questions to last week’s post – discussing calibration and sexual escalation. Today however we will be more focused on sex talk.

Before I begin, let me repost a relevant question from one of our readers “Anonymous”:

“I was thinking, what’s the difference between the sleazy guys who talks about sex, using sexual frames and escalation vs. sexy guy who talks about sex, using sexual frames and escalation? And I read your sequence in “Physical Escalation in Public”;What happens when we escalate at the wrong sequence (too much)? thanksalek ;)”

Last time we discussed calibration and escalation. Some of the questions answered last time were:

• When should one start to escalate

• How can one escalate without triggering huge amounts of resistance

• Tips and tricks to avoid resistance

• How to calibrate your escalation

Now last time we discussed “escalation” in general without focusing too much on whether we were talking about verbal or physical (non-verbal) game, because the concepts discussed in the last post were applicable to both.

Anything discussed in the previous post is valid for verbal seduction (sex talk) and hence can work as a great foundation for what I am about to discuss here. Today however we will focus on calibrating sexual verbals, and learn how to avoid triggering resistance while doing so.