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(3) Journeyman

Journeyman have been at it a while and have begun to develop major good habits and success streaks as practitioners of the social arts

10 Ways Guys Waste Time In-Venue (and Don’t Meet Girls)

Chase Amante's picture

waste time in bars
Do you go out to meet girls, but just waste time? Here are the 10 most common ways guys twiddle thumbs instead of collect digits.

Think about the last time you went out to meet girls: did you waste any time?

Did you waste a lot of time?

Of that last outing of yours, how much time did you actually spend meeting women, versus... Not meeting women?

This isn’t to say you need to be an approach machine. And it’s perfectly fine, healthy, and normal to go out with friends just to go out with friends, or even to go to the bar just to have a drink and be around people. But if your objective is to meet women, there are a lot of ways you can waste time... And a lot of ways you can turn a promising night into a big, fat zero.

This article’s primarily aimed at picking up girls in bars and clubs, but much of the advice in here is applicable to day game as well (and I’ll use day game examples along with night game ones).

So, if you want to be more aware of things you do to procrastinate and delay, instead of meet your future naked bedmate, here are 10 of the most egregious ones guys are guilty of.

Always Hold the Moral High Ground

Chase Amante's picture

moral high ground
Sometimes a girl might stun you by taking a moral high ground stance opposite you. To address this, you must be prepared to seize it back – with prejudice.

As Thanksgiving (if you’re American) winds down, I’m reminded of one of the cultural phenomenon we’ve seen over the past few years, with various people attacking the holiday and shaming those who celebrate it. “The settlers took this country from the Native Americans,” they say. It’s hardly a day for celebration, they tell you.

This movement to make others feel guilt over their heritage is part of a greater guilt/shame movement in Western society. The latest American presidential election, to a great extent, was a repudiation of this guilt/shame movement; it was to large extent a population saying, “We will not be scolded and chastised by those who think us their betters any longer.”

The competition for the moral high ground between different groups in societies never ends. However, it isn’t just groups that compete for the high ground; it’s individuals, too.

What holding the moral high ground is really about is frame control; it’s ultimate frame control. Because if the moral high ground is yours, facts don’t matter. Opinions don’t matter. Nothing else matters except that you are morally correct... And the other side, by opposing you, is the morally questionable. Which means the other side must yield authority to you.

Tactics Tuesdays: Fixing a Poor Tactical Focus

Chase Amante's picture

tactical reset
What happens if you just aren’t getting anywhere with girls? Should you grind it out? No – instead, enter the tactical reset.

Have you ever seen those a guy who tries to learn game, but no matter what, he just can’t get results?

He could spend months – or in the extreme, years – and never progress beyond getting phone numbers from girls (that never lead to dates) or make-outs with them (that never lead to sex).

Hopefully, you haven’t experienced anything quite so bad (the worst-case guys do seem to be a small minority). But maybe you’ve seen some flavor of this... You’ve hit a plateau, tried to grind it out, and just nothing was working. How do you deal with these situations?

In today’s article, I’m going to share with you the approach I’ve found most helpful for resolving this issue: it’s what I call a ‘tactical reset’.

Before we get to that though, let’s talk about why these hang-ups happen.

10 Signs a Place is Great to Meet Girls At

Chase Amante's picture

great place to meet girls at
How do you know if a place is good to meet girls at? Look for these 10 signs: girls out-dress guys, girls are fitter than guys, female body art, and more.

In my series on ‘game imbalance hypothesis’ – that some places are easier to meet girls than others, and that harder places train their men to have more skill at bedding and dating women – I discussed how to operate in hard and easy environments. You can read the three articles in the Game Imbalance series below:

  1. Game Imbalance Hypothesis
  2. Navigating Highly Competitive Sexual Markets
  3. Locating Good Low Competition Sexual Markets

Today I wanted to do a follow up post that asks: how else do you recognize if a place is good for meeting girls?

First off, if you haven’t read at least article #3 above, make sure you read that one. I cover a lot of signs there that I won’t go over in this article. This article is more about superficial ‘quick scan’ signs you can look for to make a snap judgment about a place. Article #3 above, on locating low competition markets, digs into the deeper indications a place will be worthwhile (or not). Also be sure to check out Alek Rolstad’s article on choosing the right nighttime spot; if you enjoy nightlife, it’s a must-read.

The ‘quick scan’ signs I’ll go over in this article are all indicators you learn to look for subconsciously once you’ve been at this a while and you’ve grown used to meeting girls in different kinds of environments. They allow you to get a swift feel for the terrain and make a judgment about whether a spot is worth investing your time into, or whether you ought to move on.

I’ve picked up on these over the years as I’ve frequented different venues, different cities, and different cultures and countries. The big benefits of being able to read a situation fast like this is the ability to screen out unproductive locales, but also to endure in productive ones. Due to random variation, sometimes you might strike out the first few girls you approach in what will otherwise be a terrific place for you. If you know it should be good, it’s easier to weather these bumps without writing a place off prematurely.

Notes in mind, let’s get to our ten (10) signs a place is great to meet girls at.

How to Get Her to Blow You like a Pornstar

Hector Castillo's picture

teach blow job
So you want to teach her how to give you an epic blow job. But where do you start? With the 18 techniques in this article.

You would think that after having over a hundred cocks in her mouth, she’d be better at this. Her enthusiasm is on point – she’s devouring my dick like a starving third world lady who’s only remaining sustenance is my semen. But her technique? Severely lacking.

I give her a few tips as she has her snack.

“More spit.”

“I want to hear you moan more.”

“You can go deeper.”

Then, I stop her. “Baby, has anyone actually taught you to suck dick?”

She laughs and tells me no.

“Seriously? You admitted to sleeping with over a hundred guys, and NO ONE has taught you?”

“No,” she laughs. “They all told me I was really good!”

“Well, they were probably all too happy to get their dicks sucked and didn’t want to risk rocking the boat.”

She smiles. “Okay, tell me what to do.”

It isn’t long before she’s gurgling, choking, and pumping my cock like a pornstar. In the midst of her grand performance, I ask her how she’s enjoying herself.

“This is so much more fun!” she says to me. “It’s getting me wet as hell.” Then she goes back to work.

Increase Your Lays, Pt. II: Strategies for 5 Venue Types

Alek Rolstad's picture

venue strategy
Different venues demand different strategies to do well meeting girls in. Each of these 5 different venues needs its own discrete approach.

Last week, we covered 3 different concepts that could help us in developing a seduction strategy for a given night. Keep in mind that our focus is based on cold approach seduction, and that our aim is primarily to increase our odds of getting laid – but also to get a girl we like.

Those 3 concepts were:

  • Increased volume: simply approach more and play the numbers game.

  • Screening: spend more time before the approach, and approach “better leads” instead of just spam approaching. The catch here is that you approach less and therefore risk losing some good leads.

  • Tighter game: more of a long-term strategy – oftentimes seen as an ideal where you approach a girl and manage to go home with her due to tight seduction skills.

Now, the last concept of “tight game” might seem like the most appealing, but it takes a while to actually build those skills. To become super tight, you actually have to put a lot of work into it. And for many men, it leads to a diminishing return – unless you are a freak like me who just happens to be passionate about this stuff. We will also see in this post that there will be scenarios where you simply cannot get away with playing things smoothly – situations where your seductive vibe and smooth verbal skills mean jack all.

If the previous post was about covering concepts, this post is about practical stuff – probably as practical as it can get. We will cover a few different scenarios and see when and where these concepts should be applied.

Now, this is something that you get better at the more experienced you become; however, I hope this can give you some ideas on how this all works out. There is no point in learning the different situations covered in this post by heart, because every situation is different. What I want you to do is to try to understand why I pick certain strategies over others – and if anything is unclear, you have the comment section below to ask questions, and I will clarify things for you.

Let us get right into it and cover some usual scenarios you might face – keep in mind I will both cover night game scenarios as well as day game scenarios.

How Much Should You Do for a Girlfriend? The Investment Scales

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

do for a girlfriend
What’s the right amount to do for a girl you date? How do you know if you invest too much or too little? Two measures: boredom and neglect.

Commenting on my article “Early Boyfriend Distinction – She Helps You vs. You Help Her”, a reader asks (emphasis added):

Thanks for another insight article especially about how “dynamics” really work and that as long as you can handle situations in the right dynamics, you can break the rules or at least not follow them strictly. Which brings back to a question I have in terms of giving help to a girl. So just a little background, I’m currently dating an au pair, who is considered a foreigner in this country. So I have helped her with a lot of things such as improving her English, help her with application for status extension/change, plus a number of non-fun items, even though after those items we have fun and sleep together as much as I want. So more of an early boyfriend status. So my question is am i doing too much to help her, have you done an article in terms of when offering help to your girlfriend, what is the right amount or how to gauge when to help and when not to help and just let her do it on her own?

Getting the right balance on how much to do for a girlfriend is an issue for more intermediate daters on up. When many men start out, they pay no attention to a girl’s investment in them, and instead throw as much investment as they can at her to try to woo her. Once they realize this hurts them with her instead of helps, they begin to scale it back. Except, here, they often go too far. How do you get the balance of your investment right, so you do not make her feel either over- or undervalued?

First off, if you’re unfamiliar with the concepts of investment/compliance, or you need a refresher, be sure you’ve read these articles:

Also read the article linked to at the start of this installment. It discusses the crucial questions of “who’s doing what for whom” in terms of the pre-sex courtship.

Having read those, though, you’re likely still left with one tangled up question: how do I know when I’ve invested too much or too little in her?

There’s not an easy answer to this question, but I’ll do my best to prune some of the vines off it for you here and give you a formula you can work with.

6 Major Signs Your Girlfriend or Wife Is Cheating

Denton Fisher's picture

signs a girl is cheating
How do you know if a girl is cheating on you? With the 6 signs: decline, blow-ups, changed plans, furtiveness, jealousy, and admission.

I was about to spend a weekend with my girlfriend up at her cabin. We had been together for three months, and I was stoked. The morning we were supposed to leave, I got an odd text: “Hey, I am going to have to change plans. My mentor is taking me to Colorado for a business trip for the weekend.”

At the time I did not think anything of it. This was a girl who could not possibly cheat. It was not until a couple days later when I saw her in a snap with some other guy traveling around in what did not look like a very platonic relationship. Even then I could not believe it.

That night I texted her something mild asking her how she was doing. She blew up at me as if from out of nowhere – I was confused. Suspicions rising, I sat down and made myself a chart of all the possibilities of what could be happening, and what the chances were she could be cheating. It quickly became clear she was fooling around. I broke it off with her. It was very painful.

As it turned out, an old lover she broke it off with to be with me was in town and wanted to whisk her away to Colorado. I personally was having severe financial issues, and I let it affect my game in terms of masculinity; it was my fault as much as hers.

How to Use Donald Trump-Style Persuasion

Chase Amante's picture

Donald Trump persuasion
Donald Trump used masterful persuasion in his dark horse candidacy for U.S. President. Six (6) powerful persuasion tactics underpin his success.

A reader asks:

it’s been a year now since donald trump has been succesfully running his campaign.

Love him or hate him, the guy is a master persuader, really alpha, entertaining and never boring. He’s also extremely concise and repetitive in the way he speaks.

Exactly what robert greene would define as charismatic in his art of seduction

The funny thing though is I’ve noticed that he does a lot of things that you advocate not too do. ( explicit qualifying is the bread and butter of his persuasive effectiveness and constant repetition is another one. Plus, he’s got this essential quality of being brutal and effective when being under attack – an approach that is probably going to revolutionize politics world forever. )

Love him or not, what’s obvious is that he CAN persuade

Can u deconstruct his main strenghts and maybe reccomend some sources to how one can master verbal attack and , mainly, DEFENSE, like he does? I guess you could call that frame control.

Donald Trump is a persuasion phenomenon the likes of which the U.S. presidential election has not seen before. There are Donald Trump parallels in other civilizations and other eras; for instance, quite possibly ancient Rome’s Cato the Elder. But we haven’t seen a Donald Trump in the American presidential elections before.

In this article, I’m going to break down some of Donald Trump’s most oft-used persuasion techniques. I’ll point out what they are to you, show you how to use them, and give you plenty of examples.

If you’re reading this and you’re already bristling for political bias, I should note that I won’t be voting in this election (because I’m outside the U.S. with a Nevada citizenship, a Pennsylvania address, and a California driver license; I have no way to receive a mail-in ballot). I do not agree with all of any of the candidates’ policies, although I am a white male small business owner high in what psychologists call Traditional Masculinity Ideology, so that will necessarily bias me toward candidates offering some solutions over others. This article will be about tactics and strategies, not politics, but we’re all men and all men are inherently biased, so take that as you may. If any of my own bias leaks through, my apologies in advance; I am a (flawed) human, like you.

Disclaimers aside, let’s peel back the skin on Donald Trump-style persuasion... and see what we’ve got underneath.

Tactics Tuesdays: Do You Eject from Dates or Pickups Too Soon?

Chase Amante's picture

eject too soon
You’ve met a girl, it’s going fine, and then you just... Eject, too soon. You leave too early. You beat yourself up about it later – but what could you have done then?

Want a simple way to get more success out of your dates, courtships, pickups, etc.?

Here it is: don’t eject so fast.

Early ejection plagues beginners in seduction. And the wound is a self-inflicted one.

This sound at all familiar?:

You got up the nerve to approach a girl. She’s cute. Real cute. Your heart rate is going 200 beats per minute. And it’s going okay. She smiled when you walked up, she said “hello”, and now she’s responding to your questions and asking you some back. You make a light joke and she laughs. Yet the pressure just builds and builds. Finally, you excuse yourself: “All right, well, it was nice to meet you!” And then you leave.

You didn’t ask her out; you didn’t take her phone number. Things were going okay, but then you bailed. You had to hit the eject button.

Why does this happen? Well, fear, mostly.

What can you do about it? Well, we’re going to talk about that.