Picking Up Girls: Selecting the Right Venue

Today I will share some ideas around picking the right venue when going out at night to bars and nightclubs. This might sound very basic to some of you, but many seducers overlook this point and doing so makes their lives harder than necessary.

Venue selection is one of the most important and useful concepts in “night seduction”, and all the best “night gamers” I have met have criteria when it comes to finding the right spot to hang out.

So let us start this discussion by correcting the belief that “famous clubs/bars” are good spots for meeting women. I believe this to be wrong, and here’s why.

Although some famous clubs can be really great for picking up women, most are not.

In fact, from visiting many of them around Europe (and some in Asia), all I can say is that, generally speaking, I have had a harder time picking up women in such venues.

The only famous venue I’ve easily picked up women in is Pacha (Spain).

What’s All the Hype About?

A famous club is not usually famous because it is easy to hook there, but instead mostly because of the experience the club itself has to offer.

Take for example the music. Famous clubs often book famous DJs who people enjoy listening and dancing to. The music is played through a sick sound system (which also contributes to making the club famous), making the atmosphere great for dancing and enjoying a musical experience.

People go to those famous clubs for a good dancing experience. Most people have not been to a famous club with a famous DJ playing – so let me say this: the experience of being carried away by an amazing DJ is magical.

Some clubs – often niche (minimal techno/tech house places that do not play commercial dance music) – are also well known for special atmospheres and great music. Take Berghain in Berlin for example. This place is huge and the music is weird but awesome. The vibe there is unique!

Besides great DJs and good music, those clubs also have unique decorations, creating a very special vibe.

There will also be a lot of crazy lights and other weird effects that will contribute to a great night out.

Some famous clubs (not those “niche famous clubs”) also offer a sense of exclusivity (they are also usually quite expensive),which many young men seek. Many young men want to feel like stars and feel that they gain status by hanging out in those clubs.

However, if your intention is to meet women those clubs are not the thing for you. First of all you have the great DJs and all those effects distracting women from looking out for men (it even distracted me from looking out for babes).

And honestly, after visiting some of these clubs, I don’t feel that it’s even socially accepted to hook up with people in them – it surely isn’t the norm. I rarely see people even kissing in those places.

Also keep in mind that there is a “status” thing that comes into play; people go to such venues to feel cool and gain social status. This means women’s primary goal is to display their social status and not to find a mate. This often means rejecting men right away because they believe doing so means: “I am too good for most men” and “I get hit on a lot, so much that it annoys me”, contributing to satisfying their need for social status.

Lastly, those clubs tend to be too big in size and very chaotic. There is no intimate feel to them in my opinion, which is not good for seduction. It’s all a bunch of chaos resulting in women “looking out for one another” and “protecting each other”, resulting in serious difficulties when trying to get in contact with them. The high noise level surely doesn’t make it any easier either.

So those expensive famous clubs, contrary to common beliefs, are not the places to meet women. Now, that aside, let us discuss which places to visit – and no, we won’t discuss sex clubs and brothels.

What can be said to be a good venue is very subjective. I will take this into consideration, but I believe my criteria to be rather universal. After talking to many great seducers, we have come to a general consensus on some basic criteria that make for a good venue.

The more a potential venue conforms to my criteria, the better it is. Sure, no club or bar is perfect, but some surely are better than others when it comes to meeting women.

The Criteria

#1: Size

We have already covered that very big venues – although offering a big selection of potential female sex mates – tend also to offer a lot of difficulties, as the chaos level might be very high, resulting in women becoming way too “on guard” and difficult to interact with. You also risk facing a serious cockblock-fest, as women tend to be very protective toward each other, e.g. a girl “looking out” for her friend.

Small venues on the other hand, are… too small. The consequence here is that your number of options might be limited. You also risk being “over-exposed” in the sense that everybody sees what everybody else is doing. This can result in potential cockblocking, especially if your girl’s friends are nearby, who may feel the need to “protect” her.

However, small venues also have a lot of intimacy and women tend to be way more receptive to approaches here. It is also way easier to isolate women from their friends (compared to big clubs, where there is a huge fear of “losing one another”) in these venues. The reason for this is that the vibe in a small venue is much more intimate. Women feel more in control over the situation; they know their friends are nearby and that they won’t lose them in a crowd.

Small venues can be really good. I have had a lot of success in them. If I had to choose between a small and a huge venue, I would pick the small one any day.

So what’s the right size for a venue? Well, I like something in between big and small. A venue that offers a lot of options without being overly exposing that also maintains an intimate vibe is golden. Try it out for yourself and you will get what I mean.

If you plan on going to a small venue, make sure that there is another decent venue nearby so you can change venues easily in case you “burn out the place” (which can happen really fast if you’ve approach all the women without much luck).

#2: Ratio

This one is rather obvious to most of us, so I won’t discuss it in too much detail. A good spot obviously has a ratio of about 50% males and females. Too many males and you risk being cockblocked by other men. Too many men also often result in women becoming very selective and putting their guards up.

Too many men often results in men cockblocking each other for the few women. That, although not being a big issue, can cause problems time to time and ruin some good leads you might have.

The biggest issues with venues with too many women are that women won’t stay in them for very long. Women have a huge need for validation, and if the venue does not offer them exactly that, they will leave.

But again, it is more common to end up in a venue with too many men. If you enter such a venue, get out!

#3: Cover Charges

I am against having to pay in order to enter an overpriced liquor store. In my opinion, cover charges suck more than you could ever believe.

First of all, many places with cover charges have free entrance for women, giving the women a sense of power before she even gets into the venue. This puts women on a pedestal right away, giving them a feeling of superiority that affects their behaviour toward the men who approach them – and not in a good way.

Secondly, if the lady (club staff always call women “ladies” for some weird reasons) actually has paid to enter the venue, it will be harder to get her out of it as she has paid to be there.

Thirdly, cover charges tend to be pretty common in more “exclusive” clubs, resulting in women being more obsessed over social status than actually hooking up with a male.

If you ever believed that hot “high end” girls go to expensive clubs – think twice. I went to an elite school with some of the richest kids of my city and none of them frequented expensive venues. Sure, they had their venues, but they never looked “exclusive”. Fact is, people that go to the venues that are known to have a “high champagne factors” are usually wannabes.

#4: Find Your Niche

Don’t go to a place you don’t belong. I sometimes see indie rockers in commercial house clubs, and it just doesn’t feel right.

Believe it or not, finding a spot that fits you will make you feel way more comfortable. You will feel less anxious. This will make picking up women easier.

Also remember that women usually hook up with men who are of a similar stereotype. For example, you rarely see any “hip-hoppers” hooking up with “indie rock hipsters”. Find a place where you have people that are in the same social group as you. If you dress like a rock star, go to a rock venue! Women there would feel congruent hooking up with you. If you are into hip-hop, dress according to that stereotype and go to a hip-hop venue. What I am trying to say is that women rarely hook up with men who are of a stereotype that doesn’t fit their own.

Find places that play the music you like. Music is important, as it will affect your mood, but it is far from being the most important criteria. If it’s a musical experience you are after, go to a concert or a famous club that plays the music you really like (but then again, your main intention is experiencing good music, not meeting new women).

#5: Infrastructure

This is one of the most important factors to me. The way the club is built is key.

Let us start with the one million dollar question: “How can I speak to women in very NOISY bars and clubs?”

There are many small tips that can help you out here, but none would solve the issue. That is why I like to frequent clubs who at least have a quiet (or a more quiet) smoking area. Here you can talk to women. Inside the club there should be a dance floor and the music can be loud, because dance floors are good for physical seduction. Verbal seduction is something you do in quieter areas.

Even better are clubs with lounge areas, or multiple rooms where one of them is a quiet bar. These are amazing for doing verbal seduction in. If you prefer doing physical seduction, visit the dance floor.

Clubs/bars with multiple rooms/floors are awesome! Although most clubs that are built that way tend to be huge, some smaller venues also have multiple floors or rooms. This is good if you plan to isolate women away from their friends.

Another cool thing with venues with multiple rooms/floors/smoking areas is that it creates movement in the club. The visitors have fewer incentives to stick to one location within the venue. Movement in a club creates good opportunities (big groups split up or they move to a quieter area, making it easier for you to approach) and also keeps the curiosity of women high (new room, new possibilities) – so this way you avoid the social setting in a club totally freezing up.

Lastly, avoid clubs that are formed like a big square. The venue should not be a good box where people can see each other from one end to the other. A good venue has multiple spots where you can hide (you can hide there with your target – let us call it a “good isolation spots”). A good venue should give you mixed feelings of intimacy and openness.

Other Criteria

Here is a list of other criteria that can be considered when picking the right venue:

• Short distance to cabs/busses: If you plan on extracting the girl away from the venue, this will be useful.

• Unisex bathroom: Maybe the easiest place on earth to interact with strangers? Here you have no noise and the vibe is more intimate. It’s just awesome.

• Cheap alcohol: No explanation needed here.

• Avoid clubs with very big lines. Big lines outside means big lines inside: long queues for buying drinks, leaving your jacket, and picking it up again at closing time (which can be a huge cockblock if you’ve met a girl and you need to wait thirty minutes to get your jacket back).

• Not over-crowded. Over-crowded, chaotic venues are terrible. They can drain your energy fast. They also cause women to become defensive (as they can “lose their friends”). But not enough people in a club is not good either, as you won’t be able to meet many girls. Something in between is ideal.

Recap

The perfect venue:

1. Not too big, not too small
2. Good male/female ratio
3. No cover charges
4. The place fits your personality and stereotype
5. Good infrastructure: well-built venue with multiple rooms and smoking areas

I hope this post was useful for seducers of all levels.

If you have any suggestions for what makes a venue good, please feel free to share it in the comment section.

Until next,

Alek