(2) Intermediate

Feelings of security or fear largely influence how people play the game. Can these factors be used to predict whether someone will play red or black?

The red-black game is a simple reflection of how decision-making affects outcomes, like what’s called the “butterfly effect.” In Part 3, we started to see how trust, fear, and the outcomes of the red-black game are self-fulfilling prophecies.

Throughout my work story, the company CEO and my colleague Monica both played red at various points when I chose to play black. That created chaos for me because I was unprepared – and now, I was about to be defeated.

However, playing red all the time also invites total destruction. Now we’ll find out what led to Monica’s downfall.

To conclude the red-black game series, we’ll see that stability – or the appearance of stability – affects the perception and presence of trust and fear.

In the end, we’ll see that our own beliefs about the world create that reality, as well as the outcomes of the red-black game.

Men often think women don't like them for something unrelated. When in fact 'she's intimidated by you' is often the true cause of women's reserve.

Do you intimidate women?

Might you intimidate women even if you think you don't?

For years, a professionally successful friend of mine has struggled with women. He's a tall guy with a healthy bank account, a good head on his shoulders, and a rugged ex-Marine Corps background. On top of all that, he's studied game under many of the more notable seduction gurus that have come and gone.

This friend does direct day game, and everyone who's gone out with him tells me his game is very solid. It's no problem for him to attract attractive (and often much younger) women. He has little difficulty to get them out onto dates either. Many of them come home to his place after, and often he's able to kiss them and begin the escalation.

But there his efforts stop. Because almost every single woman he ends up this far with (and he gets this far with lots of girls) puts the brakes on hard and leaves. He can go almost a year without sleeping with a new girl sometimes, despite bringing girl after girl to his place and getting to the kiss.

He's tried taking it slow and stretching things out across multiple dates. He's tried going for it in one date. He tried an exercise I gave him, where his mission was to invite one girl home each day for 30 days, including women he'd just met on the street. It surprised him how easy it was to get girls back to his place -- yet none of these girls he pulled home slept with him.

He's tried technique after technique, method after method. He's tried abandoning seduction techniques and focusing on the gym or clothes or other physical attractive qualities. He's tried everything. He's mystified myself and a few other very experienced friends too... purely by dumb luck a guy who pulls as many women home as he does should sleep with one of them at least accidentally. But almost every single seduction of his ends the same way.

In the end though, it turned out there was one thing above all he had to fix.

Once he fixed it, he finally cleared his final hurdle to getting together with women he wanted.

That one thing was intimidate women less -- a problem he did not even realize he had.

While getting tables and bottles at clubs isn’t the best way to get laid, it can work if done right. Just follow my checklist to make the best of this strategy.

Last week, I talked about bottles and tables in clubs and how I personally do not like to pay for them, as I find the whole ordeal to be generally unnecessary and ineffective. But in this post, I will tell you how to get laid playing table game if that’s what you want to do. Because if done right, it can work.

Although what I cover in this post may contradict some things in my previous post, there are many caveats. Here are some of the points that are still valid:

• Buying bottles still sucks
• Buying tables does not suck per se, but you will rarely get anything buying bottles
• Guys who buy tables and drink bad champagne still don’t bang many women
• Table girls still suck the value out of guys with tables

The problem with buying tables and bottles is that it:

• Costs a lot
• Looks try-hard
• Attracts table girls
• Repels a lot of women
• Removes your mobility

The only issue with the strategy that I am about to present is that it still removes some of your mobility, just not as much. We will also consider other aspects throughout this post.

The Red-Black Game can get hairy in competitive situations. Let’s take a look at an example from my own life where I get the shaft for not protecting myself.

Welcome back to The Red-Black Game – covering the brutality of life!

In Part 2, it was important to understand the utility of playing red in the game. Perhaps even more crucial, however, we discussed how important it is to defend yourself against red players and neutralize threats before they have the chance to execute.

Now let’s look at how stability – or the appearance of stability – affects the perception and presence of trust and fear, and how the outcomes of the red-black game can be self-fulfilling prophecies.

Ultimately, we’ll see how your beliefs about the world create that exact reality.

Life is full of self-fulfilling prophecies. Our thoughts define our actions.

As we saw in Parts 1 and 2, once fear enters a person’s psyche, they question motives and make decisions that shift the dynamics from red to black. However, it’s ultimately black – i.e., collaborative approaches – that create wins for great ventures.

On the other hand, while red players are capable of winning, we’ll also see that playing red too often – sometimes to an addictive degree – can cause total failure and self-annihilation.

It’s hard to relate to someone who shows no vulnerabilities – because we all have them. Showing your flaws can make you relatable, and even spark attraction.

The strongest men aren’t afraid to show vulnerability, and it makes them immeasurably more attractive. Vulnerability – and the expression of it by a strong man – give that man depth. It gives him realness.

You want to seem real, because even the most powerful of façades eventually fade. Preempting that revelation of imperfection with an honest display of vulnerability? That’s good stuff.

You will crack. I’ve never met a man who was 100 percent strong and stable. Even the powerful titans I’ve met have cracked in the past, and they will certainly crack in the future, even if I don’t see it.

I know this from being in the presence of many strong men and hearing their stories. I know it because I am one of the strongest men I know, and I crack more than you think. I just don’t always show it.

Until I do.

What’s important is how you express your vulnerability and when. First, let’s go over “good vulnerability” and “bad vulnerability.”

No woman wants to be with a broke guy. Or does she? With a few adjustments, it's easy to do fine with girls, even when you're broke.

In my recent article on limiting beliefs, a reader named Dr. Klas asked:

"Hey Chase,
Thanks for the article — very in-depth as always.
Now, I have this limiting belief “When I’m broke, I can’t get a girl”. Since you haven’t really written an article on how to get a girl when broke can you please address this issue.

I find that I’m usually depressed when I’m broke and I just close off — or reject myself even if a girl likes me. But when I’ve got cash, I do a whole lot better. Is it a matter of self-esteem?

I don’t know why this is or what to do to prevent this. Should I just tell girls “Hey, I’m having a hard time at the moment” or “I’m broke, I can’t do X”.

What should be our response and behavior towards women when we are broke? I think a lot of guys will appreciate this."

Okay, sure. This is something I've talked about a bit in the past -- picking up girls when broke or unemployed -- but haven't gone in-depth on.

It actually is pretty closely related to the limiting beliefs concept too, because a lot of what seems to hold men back from doing well with women when broke are limiting beliefs (like Dr. Klas's).

One reason I haven't gone as in-depth into this topic before is because there are multiple routes to 'broke'. One is to start out not-broke, then end up broke, which was my route there. The other way is to start out broke and just always have been broke. I don't have experience with the second route, though I've known guys who have been that and have done quite well with women. I can talk intelligently about the first route though -- and I'll try to make the points there as applicable to the guys who get there via the 'started broke' route as possible too.

Do you go to clubs and feel you can’t compete with dudes who get tables and bottles and have hot women sitting with them? Well, you shouldn’t. Here’s why.

Many times, when I head out with a group of guys, I see that many of them feel inferior to dudes with tables and bottles of champagne and whatnot. Normal guys feel these men have an easier time getting laid because they usually have more female company.

And here you are, a chump with a bottle of cheap beer in your hand. How the hell are you going to compete with those guys?

Well, here’s the thing. I don’t consider having tables or bottles to be an advantage when it comes to getting women in bed. The only advantage those guys do have is the confidence kick they get from having so much – i.e., other people seeing them with a bottle gives them an inflated sense of value.

The idea that bottles or tables equate to high status or easy women is a false perception that clubs use to make money. They’re just using lizard-brain marketing triggers that get you to hand over more of your money. It’s a bit like traveling first class on a plane – sure, it can be worth it sometimes, but the folks in coach still fly just as far.

Clubs need to make money, so I don’t blame them, but I have noticed that many guys – especially in higher-end clubs – start feeling very insecure when they see guys with flashy bottles of crappy champagne. In that moment, they’ve already lost. Coming off as insecure or inferior is a terrible angle when attracting women. That is why men struggle in high-end venues.

It’s also why many men tend to avoid these venues in favor of more relaxed, easygoing places – because they are more egalitarian in nature. However, those guys will be missing out on a ton of hot girls. High-end venues not only have hotter girls, they also have more girls.

So, perhaps it’s time to cure that inferiority complex. I'm sure you need more convincing, of course, so let me explain why I don’t consider having a table and bottles to be an advantage.