Intermediates can get dates and are beginning to have some level of social success
Dirty talk is ESSENTIAL for a good time in bed. It’s not optional. It’s MANDATORY.
You arouse a woman’s mind as much as you arouse her pussy.
But if you do it wrong, it can seem a bit cringe worthy. I totally understand.
However, you can get away with a lot in the bedroom that doesn’t work in real life.
THE BEDROOM IS YOUR SECRET GARDEN.
So become a SAVAGE.
And I’ll teach you how to do it without being cringe worthy.
Calling girls on the phone is no longer the norm. But if you prime her for a call, it can save time, be more personal, and reduce the odds she’ll flake on your date.
Today I have a beginner-friendly article about something I rarely talk about – how I take phone numbers.
Dealing with flakes is a common topic we discuss in our 1-on-1 sessions. It is one of the most frequently discussed subjects on our forums and elsewhere on the web.
And for good reason.
I have been studying this subject for over ten years and consider myself pretty successful with women. Yet the issue of dealing with flakes was never fully resolved.
Many beginners think that the perfect text, with the coolest message, with the coolest frame, sent at the right time will help them solve the issue. I am sorry to tell you that this is not how things work.
So let's talk about how they do work and shed some light on getting numbers and avoiding flakes.
Women’s priorities change as they get older, in life and dating. This guide will help you understand these shifts and how to tailor your seduction strategy with them.
With so many women to choose from in the world, it helps to understand what kind of girl a guy should go for – especially when it comes to her age. A girl’s age has big implications on the dating experience: who she’s looking for, where she is in life, and what you can expect from her in regards to dating and sex.
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Men and women mature quite differently when it comes to their character and human role. Men “age” and grow more attractive as they grow older, provided that they take very good care of themselves.
Guys should always aim to have their life handled as they grow older; the social perception of older men stems from guys who “resign” by not keeping fit, having healthy goals, and continuing to be dominant and masculine.
But the guy who takes good care of himself, has his finances handled, maintains a good focus and career, is dominant, and gains experience with women through his life can indeed become very deadly as he ages.
On the other hand, women tend to have a different cycle: maturing faster and earlier than men, but also moving through several phases of life quickly depending on their biological and reproductive “needs.”
The mating and reproductive instincts are big, as is a woman’s desire for having lovers, providers, and friends in her life. As such, her needs change throughout life depending on her hormonal and reproductive drive as well as lifetime goals – anything from sowing her wild oats, to getting married, to having children.
Now, keep in mind that these descriptions are general (accurate for most, with exceptions) but also based on my observations and those of others around me. We can see trends in how age influences where a woman is biologically and mentally; therefore, as men, we can build our game around the kinds of women we want in our lives.
This is a little gem from the old mASF seduction forums (credit: Lifeguard).
It goes like this: you're out somewhere and see a pretty girl, so you approach, give your name, tell her she distracted you with her cuteness, and ask her name.
Example:
You're in the café and see a girl. You approach her and tell her, "Hi, I'm Lucas. I was sitting over there trying to read my book but I am too distracted by how cute you are. What's your name?"
This opener combines direct with situational relevance, so it's to-the-point but still grounded.
It's also versatile (useful in a lot of different situations), as we'll see just below.
There are two schools of thought when it comes to sex.
One school of thought is what you might call the 'normal guy school'. In this school, a woman will not go to bed with you until you have 'gotten her ready'. The ways a normal guy tries to make a woman want him / tries to 'get her ready' include:
Once she has seen enough of the guy's good qualities, goes this school of thought, she will then open up to the idea of sex.
The other school of thought though is what we might call the 'lover school'. In this school, if a woman is going to go to bed with you, she knows it the moment you approach. You still will end up doing things like:
However, these actions serve the purpose of moving things along and getting her comfortable enough to let her guard down with you. They are not to 'make her want you'... not really.
Because she already wanted you. You're just trying to help her feel like it's okay to give into what she wants.
Although the actions are superficially the same, the intentions behind these actions are dramatically different between these two men. These intentions drive differences in how the man carries out these actions, how much of them he feels he needs, and how fast with women he thinks he can move.
The more you think like the men in the second school of thought (the lover school), the more natural, easy, and fluid you will find getting together with new women becomes.
You should never wait for a girl to make a move toward sex. That’s your job. These two move-making strategies will help you get the job done in most situations.
Should I pull the trigger? Should I make a move?
It’s a hard question. A question anyone in the field asks themselves often about girls – particularly if the girl is cute and the interaction seems to be going the right way.
So, what do I mean by pulling the trigger? It is making a direct move to push the interaction toward intimacy and sex. That big step depends on the situation, the girl, and you.
Making a move could mean:
No matter which one you are dealing with, it can be the gateway to the next level in your interaction.
If you fail to make a move, you will likely not get the girl. Reread this, because it is important:
“If you do not make a move, you will not get the girl.”
If you don’t make a move, three things will happen:
If you are lucky, the interaction goes stale – not forward but at least not backward
If you are unlucky, she will get bored or think you are weak and lose attraction for you
If you are very unlucky, she will bail and hook up with another guy. If your night truly is crap, she will do it in front of your face. But if it makes you feel any better, let me tell you that this happens to all of us
Now let's get to the finer points.
Women can seem hopelessly complicated, but if you check off some basic ideas, you’ll display enough understanding to allow them to bring their walls down for you.
When you learn how to drive a car, you don’t need to know how to put the engine together or memorize the available horsepower at particular RPMs. You don't need to know how the cylinders are operating, or understand the function of the pistons – you just drive.
This is abstraction, the general concept that applies to things of the same nature, or in this example, of how similar machines with four wheels generally operate.
You use abstraction every day in the real world, without even realizing it. This same concept pertains to women and pickup. I’m not saying women are as simple as cars, that’s far from the point, but what I am trying to help you understand is this: there are general rules that are basic to interacting with women that apply to all women. From dating to screwing, there are core rules that can give you better results and get you further in your mission of acquiring pussy or just having women around.
We will use the concept of abstraction to take a relatively complex system like women and try to simplify our efforts to interact sexually with these beautiful creatures.
So how exactly can we apply abstraction to women?
How to kiss a girl properly?
This is one of the most important skills you will ever learn. Ever.
A kiss will tell a girl EVERYTHING about you. Your desire for her. Your connection with her. And whether you have ever done this before.
It can completely sell her on you. Or it can make her want a refund.
That’s why I’m here. To make sure that when you do kiss that girl you like, she’ll need a fresh pair of panties (and want to take them off ASAP so she can get more of you... and by that I mean, your dick).
Let’s get to it.
I had such a great date, but now she won’t meet up again! WTF? Sometimes if you move too slowly, it’ll negatively affect her self-esteem and cause her to auto-reject.
Welcome back to our study on women, sex, and self-esteem! In Part 1, I gave two examples of encounters with girls I liked, and who liked me back. We both wanted sex to happen, but both dates fell apart because the girl’s self-esteem dropped because of something I did – or didn't do.
A girl’s feeling of self-esteem with a guy has a huge effect on how the encounter transpires. Self-esteem drops can kill courtships long before they’ve “rightfully” concluded. The metric most influenced by self-esteem is your attainability with a girl.
To start off, let’s recap this excellent story from Tomas in one of my articles. It’s a great example of self-esteem on the date.
“I met a woman. She was not very attractive but still decent looking and nice. I had only one hour of time for her. We were walking in the park, sitting, talking, etc. She felt embarrassed to look into my eyes but the talk was good.
Actually, I wasn’t turned on, but I still liked her. I took her hand and kissed her. She reciprocated passionately and almost threw herself into my arms. We talked and kissed more. Then, the hour was over. She extended an offer to visit her at her place next time and explained to me where she lived.
She texted me first, some two hours after the date, very kindly.
The next morning, she apologized in a text that she hadn’t felt the right spark with me and preferred not to meet again.
Varoon – I am an advanced seducer, and stories like this do happen. What’s the common reason for this incongruent behavior? Was there really no spark for her? Or there was, but perhaps she felt she made herself too easy for me? Or was she afraid I‘d leave her after sex? What do you think?”
Tomas’ story is one of the classic cases that I often see here – a girl who’s very interested in a guy at the meet and when going on a date but then automatically ejects herself.
Can you guess the fault? It’s simple, really – Tomas moved too slow, which caused the girl to eject because she didn’t feel she was good enough for him. As in my story of Violet from Part 1, the moment I stopped matching her attraction for me and speed for courtship, it fell apart because it left her feeling that I was unattainable and didn’t want her enough.
Every single girl wants to experience good feelings and avoid bad feelings. Unless she’s a girl who enjoys pain (which is usually a result of her history with emotional or mental abuse), no girl wants to feel bad or raw about dating a guy. That can take many different forms, as we’ll see. It’s possible to hurt her self-esteem by being unattractive, needy, and insecure, as much as it is to be too good for her and to move too slowly toward a passionate embrace.
I've done quite a bit of travel and lived in a variety of places, all very different from each other, with people who were all quite different too. Everywhere I have gone, I have encountered many men who told me the women in whatever city or country I was in were 'traditional' and 'hard to get anywhere with'. Often I would have men telling me this after I had already quickly slept with several normal, local women, with normal dating histories (not wild party girls, sluts, or 'exceptions to the rule'). I never want to rub it in a guy's face, so usually I will just say "Well, the girls here seem pretty normal and not too uptight to me."
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I am not the only guy this happens to. Everywhere I've lived or traveled for any good amount of time, for every 10 guys I meet who tell me the women there are 'difficult' or 'traditional', I'll meet at least one man who tells me the women there are unbelievably easy. Often these guys sleep with multiple new women a week, oblivious to the guys who spend months or years without girlfriends or lays.
I could spend 10 posts unpacking the differences between the 'girls here are hard to get' guys and the 'girls here are so easy' guys... and in many ways, this website is devoted to just this mission.
Today though, I want to talk about one specific wrinkle of the successful guys' success: playing dumb on dating norms.
