(2) Intermediate

There’s a dreadful mistake that many men new to seduction make, and that is the mistake of trying to make women monkeywrench themselves into the man’s conversation, or apartment, or bed. For obvious reasons, the more difficult it is for a woman to get together with a man, the less likely it is to happen. And many men make things quite difficult.

This seems to be due mostly to inexperience and uncertainty on how to proceed. Certainly, if a man hasn’t been with many women, and hasn’t had many experiences of guiding a woman down the path toward the two of them becoming intimate together, there’s going to be much that’s foggy, hazy, and downright confusing for him.

And when things are foggy, hazy, and downright confusing, people tend to fumble around, show their inexperience, and be tentative and look for support.

A few posts ago, we took a look at dealing with disruptive men – ways to shut down and deal with men who come in and interrupt your interaction with a woman. This post is a little different than that one – this is about how you deal with being interrupted by someone who has something she wants to add to your conversation.

You’ve just met a girl, and you like her, and you’re getting to know her, and then, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, a man you’ve never met before in your life steps up to you and starts talking to you.

“Hey, how do you guys know each other?” he asks.

Or, “Dude, where’d you get that shirt – it looks like something I saw at a yard sale last weekend,” he remarks.

Or, “Hey, buddy – that’s my friend. She doesn’t want to talk to you.”

Disrupting, interrupting, tooling, AMOG tactics, whatever you want to call it, this can be a real thorn in your side until you figure it out. It’s quite annoying and can be out-and-out frustrating when you lose a girl because some oaf lacking in social finesse decides to offer his opinion on your conversation and manages to throw you off balance, or he distracts you from the girl long enough that she starts feeling excluded and leaves, or gets dragged off by a friend keeping an eye on the interaction.

Sometimes, a man will meet a woman he just hits it off with and really likes. He starts spending time with her, doing all kinds of activities with her, just the two of them together, and doing everything a good boyfriend would do – before he’s slept with her.

I call this being an “early boyfriend”, and it’s bad news for all sorts of hideous reasons.

The bad: being an early boyfriend makes a woman lazy and complacent about actively working to move things forward. Women also take men for granted whom they haven’t become physical with – if a woman hasn’t slept with you yet, she’ll tell herself there’s a good reason why.

After a long break from facial hair, I decided last fall to begin sporting some again. I hadn’t had any since I’d shaved off my moustache and goatee back in 2004. This time though, at the end of 2009, I grew a chinstrap and a soul patch. And I noticed an immediate changed in the level of attraction I got from women.

Asian girls from Asia, I noticed, apparently had preferred me clean-shaven, and their attraction for me went down a bit once I began sporting facial hair. But white girls, on the other hand – whoa. Dramatic increase in attraction there. My approach toward them hadn’t changed. My style hadn’t changed. My voice hadn’t changed. But the level of attraction I got from them after growing a little facial hair – that changed over night.

Back when I first got into learning to get better with girls, one of the things I recall really struggling with was communicating to women I was interested in them.

As I watch most newer guys, they seem to consistently have as much difficulty with this concept as I used to. There’s one of two ways it usually goes with guys who struggle with this:

Here’s a short, powerful tip for getting girls feeling both attracted and special around you in a hurry: tell them you’re picky. Tell them you’re very picky – but you like them. And then have some valid reasons for why (them being beautiful does not count – there are a lot of beautiful women in the world!).

I picked this up originally from women I dated; it seems like every girl I date tells me she’s picky at some point or another. I’m not sure if that’s because I actually date mostly picky women, or if they just like to tell me that because they can tell I myself am picky. Regardless, it’s something I started telling women too: that I am picky.