(2) Intermediate

Pickup: the art of finding a girl to take home. Seduction: the art of influencing her mind, to create desire and other urges. How do the two relate… and which is better?

On Tuesday I talked about succeeding with closed or 'impossible' girls... inspired by a tussle over the subject we had on the Boards.

There's another nuance I want to discuss before we wrap this subject up though. That is the distinction between pickup and seduction.

While related -- and while the two terms are often used interchangeably (including by me) -- they are in fact different.

Knowing what the difference between the two terms is will aid your thinking about both... as well as your ability to use each area in the most effective way.

Every woman has her preference in men, and that can be frustrating if you’re not it. The good news is you can actually change her preference if you know how.

Guys often think a girl’s preferences in men are fixed and can't be shaped, that women already know what they want in a man, especially physically. This is true to an extent, but it is often wrongly assumed that certain guys with specific looks have an unfair advantage due to their appearance. Sometimes they do, but it's not always the case, and their advantage is not based on what you might think!

Take it from me, a brown guy who excels with white and Asian women.

I keep hearing complaints from guys stating that they want to attract a certain kind of woman, whether it’s an Asian woman, blonde woman, Italian woman, or any kind of woman, but cannot do so because of their race. They say these women have a racial disposition that heavily favors a different race. On the boards, men often comment that Italian women are racist and only want blonde men, or Asian women are racist and only want white men, and so on.

In a way, these guys are right. Girls are attracted to men largely based on physical appearance only. However, what these men fail to understand is that girls base their attraction entirely on their previous experiences. One of the most elite seduction skills you can learn is to know that, as a man, you have immense power to shape the tastes of the women around you.

It’s the truth: women are attracted to sexy older men! Here’s how to age like a fine wine and bed girls who’ll cure your erectile dysfunction rather than cause it.

I’ve had a lot of clients who are insecure about their age. For many, they get older, but their desire for young women remains. They fear that they’ll lose their youth, and aren’t sure how to find their “sexy older man” appeal.

If you’re wise, you can be a hot, sexy older man, rather than the “gross” old guy. But it may take a little self-awareness, strategy, and work ethic.

Defining “Older”

For the purpose of this article, I’ll say “older” is between 40-60 years.

Life experience-wise, this is a huge age range. Much can happen in those 20 years. Your entire identity could shift and morph multiple times. You could start and end dozens of relationships, careers, have kids, grandkids, survive wars and cancer. Who you are at 40 won’t be who you are at 60, no doubt – just as who you are at 20 won’t be who you are at 40.

I’m not going to coach you on how to find meaning in your life as you spiral toward the grave. I’m just going to teach you 14 secrets to being a sexy older man, so you can still score those hot younger women without paying for it.

Are You a Sexy Older Man?

The brutal truth is that many of you will fade out of the dating market and become nearly invisible in the eyes of young, beautiful women. Why?

Because you are:

• Fat
• Unattractively bald
• Boring
• Old at heart
• Or otherwise just “Ewwww, gross!”

You’re out of shape, with a ring of gray around your skull, creases so deep they hide civilizations; you dress like a nerd, have a massive pot belly, and are completely out of touch with youth culture and interests.

But you still want those hot young girls. Or maybe you just want a fulfilling sex life with attractive women your age. Either way, these tips will get you on track.

What may be most important for you to understand is that there are plenty of men like yours truly, who at 41 still travel the world, go to parties, and bang girls in their early twenties. Likely I’ll still be able to do that when I’m 60, should I wish to.

What’s interesting about age is that I know fat and bald guys in their twenties and thirties who do great with women. So it’s not necessarily the lack of hair or a spare tire that scares the young beauties away. What is it, then?

Is it your style?

Your belief system?

Do you feel too old, that you should just date women your own age and not be a “dirty old man”? Screw that, right?

There are plenty of older guys who still get with women 10, 20, even 40 years younger than them.

For whatever reason, there’s something that these young women want, be it money, status, fame, power, wisdom, or preference. Women go with much older men, all the time.

Like many things in life, in order to achieve it, you have to believe it’s possible. Your mindset matters and you have to get real.

If you feel you’re too old, you will be. Whatever you feel, she feels. You believe, you project.

Ultimately, if you’re a stinky old geriatric, expect to pay for that loving.

That said, without further ado, let’s discuss how not to be a stinky old geriatric, but rather a sexy older man who can bed women he’s actually attracted to.

25% of modern women are on pills of some sort. If you have any choice at all with women, though, you should not be dating these girls on pills.

In the 2019 psychological horror movie Midsommar, a girl with psychological problems accompanies her boyfriend and his pals to a weird cult festival in Sweden. The movie itself is bizarre. And it's pure fiction (and rather extremely so. The director dreamed up a death cult more depraved than the ancient Aztecs or Assyrians... and placed it in modern hippie Sweden).

However, there is one moral present in the movie I think is worth a highlight: don't date women on pills. Or women with severe psychological issues, for that matter.

In the same year that movie premiered, 2019, 23.70% of Americans were on a psychiatric drug. That includes things like:

• Antidepressants (13.40% of the population)
• Antipsychotics (3.53% of the population)
• Mood stabilizers (7.40% of the population)

... and a host of other assorted brain-altering cocktails.

These pills have all kinds of effects on the brains of those who use them.

The numbers are slightly higher for older adults. But not much. 18-44 year olds make up 36.5% of the American population, and 33.8% of the American pill-using population.

The sex differences are stark. Women are 67% more likely to use psychiatric drugs than men are. If you go out enough, and meet enough women, you are going to meet a lot of women on pills.

What should you do with these women?

Should you treat them as normal?

Or should you treat them the same way their psychologist does -- as people who have something wrong with them -- and stay away?

Girls won’t just out and tell you when they’re sluts. You need to do some digging. Yet different kinds of sluttiness shows up in different ways...

“I’m curious, how many guys have you slept with?”

“Well, when I went on vacation to Central America, I had a bit of fun.”

That explains why she’s on a date with me. She likes Latinos.

“What’s the number, then?” I look at her carefully but without looking overly interrogative.

“Umm, I’d say like 8? Maybe a few more.”

Maybe a few more.

A few minutes later, I tell her to come over to my house. She asks what we’re going to do.

“To watch a movie.”

My shit-eating grin gave me away.

“Ohhhh, nonono. A movie? Yeah, right.”

I laugh.

“It’s fine. If you don’t want to fuck, we don’t have to.” I respond calmly.

“Okay, I’ll come over, but we’re not fucking.”

Which is the better style of game for you: day game, or night game? Each has its perks, but which you prefer depends on what you want.

It’s the age-old seduction question: day game or night game?

Guys have debated the merits of both for as long as they’ve discussed game. Some guys are in the middle. Yet there are plenty of fervent devotees of each branch, who insist their style of game is superior.

I got my own start as an inveterate night gamer. It wasn’t until 3 or 4 years in I started to do more day game (more than the smattering of “here and there” I’d done before). I’ve gotten to see both sides, and everything in between, and have since run game in pretty much all kinds of scenarios.

Both daytime and nighttime have clear perks in the “meet girls” department. Which time of day you prefer is going to come down to which perks appeal to you more.

To help you pick, I’ve compared day game and night game across seven (7) distinct dimensions, so you can see exactly how each stacks up against the other.

So, let’s compare!

Yesterday I responded to a post on our forum about succeeding with girls in the 19- to 23-years-old range from a guy in his mid-30s who noted he does fine with women over 23 but struggles to get anywhere with younger gals. I wanted to flesh this one out a bit more and make it a proper post.

If you’ve been following the site for a while, you probably remember I tackled younger women in this post, about three years ago (has it been that long? Wow...):

“Attracting and Dating Younger Women”

However, that was a more involved post, with a lot of research, psychology, explanation, and discussion of not only the initial seduction but the ongoing relationship too.

This post will be a more tactical one, and one specifically aimed at how to pick up younger women, particularly in the late teens / early 20s age range that’s so easy for some guys... and so problematic for others.