The Seduction Liminoid: How to Create a Sexual Tension Bubble

How do you build a sexual tension bubble with a girl, where you can make your own rules and foster sexual freedom? By harnessing the seductive power of the liminoid.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Last week we discussed the concept of liminality and how it applies to pickup and seduction.

In broad terms, the concept of liminality describes the transitional phase within a society. It's when the status quo is deconstructed, and the new has not yet been institutionalized. This is the phase betwixt and between in the lifespan of society and culture. But this concept can also be applied to humans. We can see liminality as a rite of passage, for instance, during the time from childhood to adulthood.

But the theory doesn't stop there. We've discussed how liminality could apply to seduction, and more interestingly, how it could help us make better sense of certain seduction concepts, namely:

• Sexual tension
• Intrigue
• Mixed signals

We looked at how seduction is about leaving a girl in a liminal phase (state of limbo) when she is curious about you and your interest level or intentions. Since liminality is the phase betwixt and between, leaving her in a phase when something is happening — but not certain or well-defined — keeps the intrigue and mystery going.

We also saw how seduction ends when this phase ends, as you move away from the liminal phase. We also discussed how keeping her in a liminal phase can keep your relationship going in the long-term.

Another key aspect relates to how a liminal phase is liberating. Since it is betwixt and between, social rules are somewhat broken. Something may be real, while at the same time not “official,” or unknown to the social world.

According to the great anthropologist Victor Turner:

“They are dead to the social world, but alive to the asocial world. Many societies make a dichotomy, explicit or implicit, between sacred and profane, cosmos and chaos, order and disorder. In liminality, profane social relations may be discontinued, former rights and obligations are suspended, the social order may seem to have been turned upside down.” (Turner, V., Liminal to Liminoid, p. 59)

Today we will discuss the other part of his essay, the liminoid, and how that applies to pickup and seduction.

 

What Is the Liminoid?

So, if the liminal is a transitional phase when a culture or a society breaks down to rebuild itself into something new, we can see the phase that takes place between these two as the liminal phase.

In this liminal phase, something is, and something is not — or is not yet. It is deconstructed, yet not entirely nonexistent, since elements of what has been deconstructed remain. Break down a society or a culture, and you will likely not break it fully; some order usually remains. It will find itself in a liminal phase, where new thinking, innovation, and moral freedom exist because the rules have been fractured.

But what is the liminoid?

According to Turner, the liminoid resembles the liminal but is not identical to it. One main difference is that the liminal predominates the social order. It is the space betwixt and between, whereas the liminoid is a bubble of innovation and moral freedom that transcends or lives “within” the normative social order. It's when new and more liberated ideals within the social order may flourish and can affect the bigger “whole.”

The liminoid bubble is a space within the social world (culture or society) where the individuals regroup in an area to cultivate free thinking and innovation in the absence of the structure and restriction of the institutionalized whole. In liminoid spaces, many rules and norms of the main social order do not apply or do not apply as much. This is a space where the rules are looser, where individuals can openly try out new ideas and play freely, which both challenges and builds upon the status quo.

Men are naturally driven to establish a space where we can escape social confines and be ourselves. But this drive is not exclusive to us. Women are actually quite fond of liminoid spaces.

Liminoid settings or bubbles can be permanent in contrast to the liminal, which is only a phase or a part within a process.

The products of a liminoid space are part of “anti-structure” to the normative social world; they are “plays” and “experimentations” within the bigger social order. The liminoid, being the anti-structure within a broader mainstream, according to Turner, can generate alternative models for living. These capable models have the potential to influence the mainstream order, even leading to radical changes. New ideas and norms can affect the bigger whole (like the LGBTQ community, which initially was a liminoid space, and now is a part of our society).

In contrast to liminality, the liminoid’s existence can be perpetual. It is not just a stage. It exists as an entity within society. The liminoid space is a decentralized space, and a society can consist of one main culture and set of norms, yet contain multiple subcultures and sub-communities that cultivate their own codes, symbols, language, and norms.

A positive effect is that one can maintain structure, control, and moral order in the society as a whole, while at the same time offering spaces of freedom and free thinking. The “blurring” between social order and moral freedom is contained within the liminoid space, avoiding detrimental effects that would otherwise result by letting such free thinking roam uncontrollably throughout society. The liminoid space in a society offers both moral stability and also room for freedom.

Here are some examples of liminoid spaces:

• Secret societies (including my secret society, pun intended)

• The LGBTQ community (it is easy to get laid there if you learn their codes)

• The Kink community (same as above)

• Art clubs

• Literature clubs

I would go as far as including nightclubs; at least certain nightclubs are liminoid spaces. Liminoid spaces do not necessarily need to have a certain status; they can be created and uncreated. They can also be present at specific times, such as on Friday and Saturday nights (morals are looser). Also, certain rituals are liminoid, like carnivals and frat parties. They are liminoid in nature (this is me applying Turner’s theory, not his own words).

And let's not forget... "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas." — Mantra of the great American liminoid city.

 

Using the Concept of Liminoid

Let's see how you can apply this concept in pickup and seduction.

This concept is much more applicable than liminality; at least it is done more intuitively.

First, what do we intend to do, and why? What we want to do is CREATE a liminoid space between you and the woman you interact with. You may, of course, also add others in, like your wing, or in case of a threesome, multiple women.

In case you host a freakshow, like an afterparty, you may try to establish a liminoid space at your place, or the place where the party takes place (a subject that I won’t cover today but I may in the future; please let me know in the comment section if there is interest!).

And by creating this liminoid space, consisting of you and the girl you would like to share it with, not only do you build you own little conspiracy (a “you-two-vs-the-world” type of frame, good for DEEP rapport), but you can also bend the rules and tailor your own space. Sharing a world with someone is a great way to connect.

When one says “bring her into your reality,” they usually don’t tell you how to do it. Here we will at least try.

Creating a liminoid space with her not only sucks her into your reality but also constructs something unique with her. I would like to emphasize “unique” because, remember, a liminoid space, according to Turner, is something that exists within the bigger social order. You are both citizens of a society and culture that binds you two together as well as to the world around you. But there is also a space within it, where the norms, rules, and rites differ, a place of free thinking and free spirit. The space you create with her is unique, since it is not directly a replica of the social world, despite being within it.

Constructing such a space is what we sometimes label as building or creating a “bubble” with a girl. It happens all the time in seduction, and you could say it's the ideal state in which to seduce.

 

Why Create a Liminoid Space?

Or, in more seductive terms, why build a liminoid bubble?

• You create deeper rapport by creating something unique together, a space with your rules and rites. You create an “us-vs-them” frame, which is very powerful.

• You can bend the rules. Society has rules for sex and relationships, and you can adopt more liberated rules in a liminoid. This can free her, making her feel more at ease. She can liberate herself sexually (adopt new rules about sex feeling normal, natural, and good, without judgment, etc.).

• You create a feeling of secrecy. Not only is this exciting, but it can make her feel better about liberating herself with you.

• You create “actual” secrecy. Similar to above, this makes her feel more allowed to liberate herself sexually. This avoids potential men cockblocking you, or having her friends drag her away.

Now, let’s find out how to build a liminoid space (bubble).

 

Building a Liminoid Space

First, I want you to visualize yourself and create an aura around you. Within this aura, different rules apply.

Make a list of what your rules are, and make sure they are:

• Reasonable (people are okay following them)

• Rules people want to follow (rules like sexual liberation are easy to convince others to follow)

Next, think about how you can convey these rules and norms.

The rules I usually consider are:

• Sexual liberalism. In this space, you can be whoever you want sexually without being judged.

• In this aura, I would enjoy seeing my girl being sexual. It is not only allowed but desired.

• Everything in this space or bubble is secret and stays in this circle.

• Pleasure, lust, desire, passion, and adventure are desirable, and we are people who seek it.

• WE ARE A BUNCH OF FREAKS, and WE ARE AWESOME BECAUSE OF IT (I had to add that one because I like it).

• Other people are not welcome to join unless we both consent to it ("we" are in the groove, and "they" could ruin it).

You do not need to add all these elements, but I typically consider a fair share of them.

Now, how we convey these elements is the juicy part.

1. Get isolated. Move away from her friends, and other people, or at least try to be as discreet as possible before doing any juicy stuff.

2. Avoid displaying sexual interest, or escalating in front of her friends. If her friends are around, keep things cool and social (you can still communicate attractive traits, like establishing social frame). Once they leave (or you two leave), you can go back to being sexual. Touch her and talk dirty. This amplifies that you two have something secret going on.

3. Verbally state the “rules” of your bubble. I usually do so explicitly, or I may use a gambit (paradox of the periods, discuss sexual liberalism, mirror gambit, etc. Sex talk generally is GREAT here).

Here are some examples of how you can explicitly state rules:

• “Girl, this space (make a circle with your finger) is my space, and if you want, you can join in. What happens in here, stays in here.”

• “In my world, we do not judge people for being true to their sexual desires.”

• “I like to keep things secret between a girl and me.” It helps her dodge social consequences and also makes things exciting.

• “A good lover, in my book, is a secret lover.”

• “Most people don’t get it that humans are sexual beings. At least you and I see people for who they are. And the best part is, we do not judge.”

It's just you and her now, free to act without fear of judgment. The outside world be damned.

I typically recommend using such verbal lines after you have hooked her in. You must use them in isolation, unless you want to bring her friend(s) into your space, which is totally doable but not preferable (sometimes you can’t get rid of them). Some compliance (interest/attraction) from her is highly recommended.

 

Recap

In this article, we defined what a liminoid space is. This is an area within the broader social sphere where the rules are blurred, giving room for more liberation and free-thinking. In this model, you can have spaces of freedom without challenging the social order.

You can build liminoid spaces with women to:

• Create a feeling of conspiracy to generate deeper rapport

• Liberate her sexually by creating a space of freedom and a nonjudgmental zone

• Create secrecy to avoid feelings of discomfort with being sexual in public with you while also avoiding potential cockblocks

You do so by:

• Isolating her

• Avoid getting sexual with her in public; in front of the public eye, you are a cool social dude, but behind their back, with her, you go into full-blown sexual mode

• Verbally state elements of your liminoid bubble.

I hope you enjoyed this.

In the coming weeks, I will share a few gambits that I consider powerful that put both the concepts of liminality and the liminoid to use. So stay tuned.

Best,

Alek

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