Women orgasm more easily when they lose control and feel dominated in bed. If done right, choking during sex is a surefire way to send her into the climax zone.
Choking during sex has become more prominent lately, and dare I say, mainstream.
Girls have always liked it, but it has seldom been as out in the open as it is today. That’s partly due to the effect of 50 Shades of Grey, the book-turned-film in which the character Christian Grey opens up his girl to the pleasures of rough sex.
Now, I don’t think choking is a necessary component of sex, especially for newbies. Most women experience vanilla sex with their partners, although sometimes alphas (and the women with them) usually have more exciting sex lives. The issue there is twofold:
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Men don’t realize how much women enjoy being choked (and so they don’t try it)
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It’s an advanced skill because the goal isn’t to literally choke or hurt the girl; it’s merely to create the sensation of being choked and under the man's control (which women find very hot)
Many women fantasize about choking. Perhaps they’ve experienced it with a former partner and know how pleasurable it can be when it’s done correctly. It falls in with how women get super aroused by being dominated in bed.
Overall I’ve found about 80% of women to be into choking in some form. That’s roughly four out of five women I’ve had sex with. Out of those, maybe one-third (or 20%) are REALLY into choking. When you think about it, that’s not a small number. The majority of women have either tried or are open to trying being choked during sex, and most of them will enjoy it. But not all.
As mentioned, choking isn’t necessarily for the newbie. It isn’t really about choking a girl, as in restraining her breathing. Choking during sex is your complete dominance and her total submission and loss of control in many forms. We’re creating the impression of choking her, so she lets herself go deeper into her orgasm state.
It starts with the role of the throat.
The Throat and Sex
The throat is one of a woman’s most sensitive and vulnerable areas. It’s obvious why, as it’s the location of the primary artery between the head and the body. However, women also experience extreme pleasure from the throat’s sensitivity.
Any time you make out with a girl and move to kissing, licking, or breathing on her throat, you can observe her reaction. It’s an extremely sensitive area, and it can achieve intense pleasure if she’s in the right mental state. Many nerve endings there create pleasure elsewhere in the body.
To get her dripping wet and randy, go for the neck!
Kissing the throat, especially during penetration, can be one of the most passionate acts of sex with a woman. There’s nothing quite like being deep inside a woman as you’re grabbing the back of her neck and hair, while simultaneously biting and kissing her neck, drilling into her hard.
If you can use your mouth on a woman’s throat to create the feeling of passion, you can use your hands and arms to create a sense of dominance in much the same way. Whereas kissing is passionate, choking a woman during sex is dominant and aggressive. Women like both, and it’s most entertaining and intense when you can create the feeling of dominance to make her feel like she’s lost complete control to you.
It’s when a woman feels a loss of control to a man and her reality that she becomes free to feel, thus entering her orgasmic state.
Total Dominance
Women LOVE the feeling of being dominated in bed. They love feeling submissive to a man in the bedroom. Nothing conveys this better in her mind than choking her during sex. She is physically dominated by a MAN who controls her body AND her mind in the act of sex, using HER for HIS pleasure.
Loss of control allows women to have extremely pleasurable orgasms.
Loss of Control
The greatest sexual feeling that women can have DURING sex is feeling a total loss of control. When a woman feels this loss of control, her mind shifts from active thought to merely responding to feelings and being present.
Active thoughts interfere with the extreme sexual state needed to reach orgasm. Any man who has suffered from erectile dysfunction by overthinking before the act of sex can attest to this. Thinking and sexual energy simply don’t mix.
The greatest pleasure in sex is achieved when you can enter an animalistic state. Women can achieve this state through a loss of control. In this case, women lose control to a man’s dominance.
Just take a lesson from Mr. Lion.
For women, this feeling includes three factors:
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She feels allowed to have sex. The guy has communicated or sub-communicated that he knows how sexual she can be, and he won’t judge her for being a slut around him.
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She feels mentally uninhibited. She won’t feel like anyone else around her will judge her either; even people she doesn’t know. She may do things like having music on during sex so she can be as loud as she wants.
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She feels like she’s entirely out of control. The guy is completely dominating her physically and mentally. Girls enter a different mental place when they feel out of control. Before such acts, her brain is “active,” and she is thinking as well as feeling. However, a girl cannot enter the orgasm-inducing state if she’s deep in thought. To enter this state, her mind must be empty of thought, and her body free to feel.
Choking during sex best engages #3 above, but for it to be effective, you already need to have #1 and #2 in place.
If done correctly, the act of choking induces a feeling of loss of control through:
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Deprivation of oxygen (or the impression of deprivation, even if not done)
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Complete physical control of her body. Not only should you be deep in penetration, but holding her down by the throat is another level of dominance
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Verbalizing your dominance adds to her fantasy, allowing her mind to be free to enjoy pleasure
For example, women experience a strong feeling of losing control when a man puts her on a leash, which is one reason women love BDSM and roleplay.
Deprivation of Oxygen (and the Fantasy)
The goal is NOT to actually choke her during sex, or even to choke her hard. Instead, it’s creating and fulfilling the fantasy in her mind that she’s being choked and controlled fully by a man. Some asphyxiation may be involved, but it’s NEVER done to a dangerous level. It’s is one reason why this is a more advanced act, but any guy can learn to do it well.
We’re only interested in creating the fantasy and illusion that she is being choked, and it’s THAT fantasy that allows her to enter the state of total domination. This is what women dream about. It is as if she’s possessed by a man she adores. Women love feeling like a slut for a man who respects her inner slut.
How to Choke (and How NOT to Choke)
When you hold a girl’s throat, don't apply pressure to her larynx. If using your hand (or hands), keep the larynx between pressure points. Same goes if using your arm from behind: wrap your arm around her neck, keeping her larynx safely in the nook of your elbow where there is little-to-no pressure. How much pressure you apply really depends on the girl. Some girls enjoy just having your hand lightly grip them there, while others want you to push down hard and really grind them into the bed.
The idea here is NOT to push down on her larynx or her blood/air corridors. Press down hard on the SIDES of her neck, and then use that leverage to push her down or in the direction you’d like.
You can experiment on yourself (since you also have a neck). Assume that what's uncomfortable for you will definitely be uncomfortable for her.
When you choke, you must be fully aware of her core arteries. These are the main bloodlines between the brain and the rest of the body. They serve as the main oxygen line between the mouth and the lungs. It’s okay to apply some pressure here, but generally, you want to avoid cutting off the flow in these areas. Instead, apply pressure around the sides of her neck, around the core blood and air arteries.
Forward-Facing Sex
Most people choke in forward-facing sex, like in the missionary position or with her on top. In these positions, it is easy to choke her. Just take your hand(s) and grab her throat as described above. In missionary, push her into the bed while you screw her with more ferocity and intensity.
In these positions, I find it also helps to give the girl intense, domineering looks, while either growling or calling her extremely slutty and dirty things while pounding her into oblivion.
If she’s on top and bouncing up and down on your cock, you can use one hand to choke her neck and the other hand to grab her hair from the back and pull it at the same time. The net effect of both is sure to trigger an explosive orgasm quickly. You’ll know you’re doing it right once she moans louder.
Rear-Facing Sex
To choke her in rear-facing sex, like doggy style, the prone bone, or sideways doggy positions, spooning, etc., you can grab a girl’s neck with your hand by wrapping it around her, or you can use your entire arm.
Using your hand is pretty easy. Instead of grabbing her hair, just bring your hand around to the front of her neck, grab it, and pull her back toward you.
You can even pull a girl’s body into you by her throat, so you’re also making your penetration deeper and more intense.
Another alternative is to use both your hands. Grab her neck and place your other hand on her hair to pull her head back. It’s total dominance, and she can’t even see you.
The use of your arm is particularly sexy to women who like choking, and it’s readily available to you in rear-facing sex. I love using this one in sideways doggy (or spoon position) while you’re both lying down. Swing your arm around her throat and create a sort of headlock with her head and neck. Now use your arm to pull her neck and entire body against you while you’re pounding away. You’re using your arm to do two things at once: choke her neck while bringing her entire body closer to you. This is a cool position because you can also bite her neck or kiss her at the same time, and use your free hand to play with her clit while you’re hitting her G-spot or going deep with your cock.
All these in unison, plus some dirty talk whispered into her ear, should be plenty of firepower to trigger some intense orgasmic climaxes.
Choking to Trigger Orgasms
You can use choking to trigger orgasms for all the reasons above. Ultimately, choking is a sexual stimulant for women. Most often, when a woman orgasms, it’s a wave that she builds up to, and the wave keeps building and building until she has a climax, and that “releases” her orgasm, whereas up to that point, it’s merely building.
Some women can climax to orgasm from penis or mouth stimulation alone, but her body parts don’t work in isolation for an orgasm. You can trigger multiple points, and that builds on the same feeling of pleasure that leads to a climax.
Once you’re in rhythm with your cock pumping inside her, and she’s on the up-wave to a climax, maintain your rhythm. Now you can start choking her to intensify the feeling, and that will bring her even closer to climax. As you’re pounding her, put your hand or arm on her neck and push down (without hurting her), and you’ll almost immediately notice through her body language that her experience just got way more intense. Usually, she’ll close her eyes, moan loudly, grab your hand, and push it harder onto her neck.
To trigger choking at the right time often brings her mental state to another level, and this will also trigger an orgasmic climax (or put her on the course to get one if you keep doing what you’re doing).
What If She’s Not into Choking During Sex?
As mentioned at the beginning of this post, a minority of women are not into choking. It doesn’t feel good to them, or you’re not doing it right (or a previous guy hasn’t done it right), so she has a negative impression of it. Or perhaps her personality just isn't compatible with the finer kinks.
If a girl isn’t into it, once you start choking her, she’ll touch your hand on her neck to push it off. Or if you’ve pinned her down some other way, she’ll say something about it. Hopefully it doesn’t get to that point, but you should soon have an idea of whether or not a girl will enjoy it.
It’s critical that you adjust to whatever she tells you verbally or physically. Find out if she’s truly not into the act, or you’ve been doing it wrong, and you’re actually choking her. Communication is good, especially when it comes to kink or rough sex. You’re never supposed to choke a girl for real. It’s only supposed to be just enough to create the mental fantasy of the act so that you feel in full control, and she feels powerless.
Never actually choke a girl. Don’t restrict the air or blood flow. Sex requires a considerable amount of air and blood flow, so to restrict these could be disastrous with a quick trip to the hospital, and likely your last night together.
Instead, play by the rules:
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Use choking to create a MENTAL fantasy rather than a physical effect.
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If she’s not into it, stop. Try once, and if she objects, don’t try it again unless she asks you to. Communicate! You have plenty of other sexual options to play with if your girl isn’t into choking during sex.
As always, questions and comments are welcome, and feel free to share your experiences!
Varoon
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