Every guy has a “type” of girl that tickles his fancy more than others, whether it’s about her looks or personality. What can you do to get your type chasing you?
Every guy has a "type." When most of us think of women, we think of physical features first over the personality attributes we seek. Both are important, especially in long-term game (relationships are a completely different skillset from pickup). However, the place to start is to get girls with the physical appearance we want, because this is what will ultimately drive our attraction from the get-go.
If you’re a beginner to seduction or the dating game in general, just learning the ropes around women, you may not really know the “type” of girl you’re actively seeking yet. Most likely, you’re physically attracted to a particular type or an “idea” of a girl, and that’s what catches your eye. Once you start having good experiences and successes with women, your desires will change.
We also live in a time, especially in the West, when it’s very easy to date nearly any race or culture if you live in a place with diversity. For instance, New York City has the density and diversity of almost every culture on Earth, plus all the tourists who visit from around the world (and many women seek short flings with a New York guy). The same dynamic exists in Miami, Hawaii, resorts in the Caribbean, and various locations throughout Europe and Asia.
For some guys, there are tons of options for meeting many kinds of women. Being a New Yorker, I can pursue and date almost any race and culture, whether she’s American, an immigrant, or a tourist. For other places, you don’t necessarily have these options. And even then, it takes some time to find just what kind of girl suits your fancy. Physical appearance is certainly desirable for a single sexual experience. Still, if you want something more than a one-night stand, it comes to more than just physical appearance.
I do think that experience and good game helps you get many kinds of women. However, as you grow better and your tastes morph, you start to specialize in certain types of women, both in appearance and personality. In this two-part series, we’ll cover this in-depth.
Picking a Specialty
When you choose a specialty, you should base it on the type you like and what you’re attracted to.
Typically, this goes one of two ways:
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You actively choose the kind of girl you like, depending on what you are attracted to and what you want. This is often a combination of both physical and personality traits. Maybe you’re attracted to Asian women or Latinas, or perhaps you’re super interested in well-educated businesswomen, or girls who are musicians or actresses.
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There’s a girl type who picks you because of your look and fundamentals, and that becomes your specialty. Maybe you’re buff and in shape and attract girls who are into big muscles and strong men. We have one guy on the boards who routinely reports that tan and exotic-looking girls are always into him.
The ultimate win here is to do both: specialize in the girls that you want, and the same girls find you naturally attractive. The key is to change your fundamentals, so you naturally attract the kinds of girls you want and learn to pick up on indicators of interest (IOIs) and approach signals.
Your Fundamentals Influence Your Specialty
A critical distinction about #2: it’s important to remember that this attraction is the result of your fundamentals. So, you can also adapt your fundamentals to cater to different kinds of women and what they find attractive.
For example, I like to specialize in all kinds of Asian women, whether they are from Asia or Asian Americans within the United States, despite myself being of a look and race that’s not traditionally seen as pairing with this demographic. However, to get to the point where the attraction is there from the girls wasn’t easy. I’m tall and skinny with toned but not big muscles, but my fashion is geared to attracting these types of girls.
Not only am I attracted to Asian women, but I’m also drawn to intelligent, ambitious, and professional women who have high-profile career jobs in big cities like New York. A big part of the demographic happens to be very attractive and ambitious Asian women, but other kinds of women in this demographic are also equally attractive to me, every race and type.
Your type may not be centered around looks, but lifestyle.
To attract this type of girl, I had to reform my appearance multiple times. I changed everything from muscle tone, body shape, clothing, hairstyle, even my facial hair. Now, I generally dress exceptionally well at all times, wearing almost a suit with coordinated blazers, high-end jeans, and nice sneakers or shoes. I wear lots of contrasting colors that work well with my skin tone, and a fair amount of interesting and edgy jewelry that complements and contrasts to the overall clean look of the blazer-fitted clothes and sneakers.
Girls often approach me and say that I look like a tech start-up CEO, which is kind of true and also the image that I want to convey. But most of all, my fashion is high-end. My tall and skinny body type is very desirable to Asian women and smart women in general, not overly muscular but also not a slob, just cut and well-dressed.
Instead of conveying the stereotypical Indian/Mideastern look, I convey a high-profile, exotic look that naturally attracts the kinds of girls I want: ambitious and intelligent but also kind of edgy and creative (like me!). I imagine these girls are looking for the same, so they are quickly attracted to my archetype regardless of my skin tone and race.
Your Look Influences Your Specialty
Now, if you want something different, go for a completely different look.
For example, maybe you’re into “bad girls” with lots of tattoos, who like rappers. In this case, you probably want to get tattoos yourself, work on muscle tone, and show that off. You’ll want more of an edgy look with a haircut, facial hair, and overall vibe. You can add jewelry, chains, and flashy accessories. Plus, you probably want to meet women in clubs or a social environment where you can show off this look.
It’s clear that your fundamentals directly influence the types of women you specialize in, as well as what you are good at naturally.
The Question of Race
Many guys have beliefs about race and how it affects attraction. In some ways, these concerns are valid, but in other ways, these concerns are off-the-wall. Such guys simply have very poor mindsets when it comes to attracting women.
How does a women’s preferences with race affect your dating specialties? Guys must first understand that, as a single male, you’re not going to get every girl in the world. No one has, not even the most prolific naturals. It’s just impossible to get every girl you go after. I guarantee that even guys like Dan Bilzerian, who always hangs out with different types and races of women and has lots of women chasing after him does not get every single girl he wants, even if they're single. I’m sure he has a higher than average ratio, but he doesn’t get all of them. So, remember that you’re not going to get every girl you go after. But with that in mind, you can get a significant amount of the girls you want if you’re attractive, cool, interesting, and highly valuable to women.
Your fundamentals are the biggest determiner of this, and the better fundamentals you have that specialize to a certain kind of girl, the better off you’ll do.
They're both sexy men of color with great fundamentals, but they attract very different types of women.
What about the girl’s point of view? What does she truly want, and what is she going to go for? I wrote an extensive article called “Interest, Preference, and Desire,” which explores this issue more deeply. What if you’re a black guy who likes Asian women, and Asian women just aren’t attracted to men with very dark skin? Does that bar you from getting those types of girls? Absolutely not. There’s a HUGE difference between what a girl’s preferences are, what she’s attracted to, and desires the moment she faces an opportunity with a man. Be sure to read my article, which is one of the most eye-opening pieces I’ve written. It describes this issue exactly.
Girls typically have an idea of what they’re looking for, but often those desires don’t pertain to what she’s biologically attracted to. Ideally, she wants a guy who is her preference but also attractive because of his behavior and how he pulled her to him. That’s a slam dunk from the girl’s point of view.
However, if you don’t happen to be her exact preference (out of her typically huge laundry list), you can still get the girl simply through desire in the moment. Through such means, you can influence her preference. If you want to do this, you should focus a lot on technical game. You’ll want to work on your skill set so you have the skills to get that type of girl attracted to you, given the interaction and the way you lead her alone with you. Guys pursuing this will want to stay away from online dating and social circle venues. Stick with cold approach game.
To get girls you want outside of their preference, you must have better game than guys of her preference, or she'll just opt for a guy of her preference. To give you the best shot, your fundamentals, appearance, style, fashion, and attractiveness must honestly be much better than the competition.
Some guys get upset at the notion that they must be better than their competition in almost every way to get the type of girl that they really want. But such is the reality of the mating game, and it's much more useful to change what you can change rather than become bitter. In my view, you should be trying to be your best anyway. Always continue to work on yourself and become more attractive, and surely you’ll get hotter girls, no matter what.
In my next article, we’ll go over what kinds of women you might want to make your specialty.
Stay tuned!
Varoon
Read Next: How to Attract Your "Type" of Girl, Part 2: By Race
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