The 6 Rules of Cougar Dating (You Must Follow These!)

Over the last few weeks we’ve covered “The 7 Greatest Things about Cougars” and “How to Have Sex with a Cougar”. These two posts covered why cougars can be so alluring, why it can be fantastic to be able to get sexually involved with them (as if you didn’t already know that), and how to go about actually getting one in bed.

So suppose you followed the methodology of the last two posts. You’ve come to understand the mindset of the cougar; you’ve come to understand what her circumstances and what her expectations are; and you followed the process of either meeting her in person or online and managed to take her to bed. And let’s say now you have put yourself in the situation where you have an established sexual relationship with the cougar.

How do you go about maintaining consistent and positive rapport with her? That is what I want to talk about today: the six rules of cougar dating.

If you can manage to mind the following six rules about interacting with and maintaining a consistent dating relationship with a cougar, then you will find yourself to be a happy and sexually sated man.

#1: Talk About Age as Little as Possible

When a cougar gets involved with a younger man, despite the fact that she may play cool or have a very calm air, she will often be very self-conscious about getting involved with someone who is significantly younger than she is.

She knows you’re younger.

You know she’s older.

As long as the two of you have fun together, there’s no need to bring the age difference to the forefront.

I’ve even had situations where cougars made reference to our age difference, and in response to those situations I just kind of shrug it off, or sometimes I’ll just turn up the sexuality, if the situation calls for it. At the end of the day, it just has to do with the fact that every woman wants to be desired. And cougars know internally that much of a woman’s sexual market value comes from her physical attractiveness. And they also know that it is very difficult to slow down the signs of the aging process.

So they have to balance this knowledge and awareness with that burning internal feminine desire to feel greatly wanted by a man. So if you can reassure her (best done with your physicality) that the age gap is meaningless or even very positive to you, then your dynamic with her will be all the better because of it.

I currently have a cougar in my life who is about ten years my senior, and every time I make reference to people who are anywhere close to her age range she’ll make an offhand comment to the effect of: “Oh, you must think that’s so old.” I usually shrug it off, give her some type of compliment about her alluring maturity, or just do something physical and sexual. I can consistently see through her wispy veil and assuage her fears and insecurities.

#2: Always Keep The Sexual Flames High

You must never forget — and I mean never forget — that the reason the cougar got involved with a strapping young gentleman like yourself to begin with is because she wanted the energy and exuberance of your youth — most specifically in the sexual department. She wanted you to fill a void in her life that an older man, such as ex-husband or older boyfriend, couldn’t fill.

So if you start thinking that you can take it easy or let yourself stagnate in terms of your sexual intensity or performance, then her interest in you will start to steadily wane.

So it’s an all-important rule in cougar dating that you make sure things are always at boilerplate intensity.

#3: Don’t Try to Impress Her With Money

Some younger men are under the false impression that just because a woman is older, she expects her younger counterpart to be flaunting his money. But to echo the previous rule: money is not the reason she got involved with you.

In fact, I know more than my fair share of men who have been involved with cougars who ended up footing the bill for nearly everything they did. So if you feel the pressure to try to impress her with money, conspicuous consumption, or expensive items, then you should get rid of that thought immediately.

#4: Don’t Get Needy

There is nothing more off-putting to a cougar than a needy man. Even if a cougar is technically “dating” you, don’t confuse it for an actual relationship 9 times out of 10. She probably likes you and wants to spend time with you, but make sure to keep the focus on her as much as you can. She wants you to be there to listen, offer comfort, and be a trustworthy companion.

And though you would probably be just fine telling her some important things about your life, don’t move toward being too emotionally dependent on her or simply whining about things that are happening in your life. Try to keep on the positive side of things.

Also, don’t expect to be in contact with her every day. Most relations with cougars are a once-a-week or a couple of times a week affair. She’s not a young girl. You don’t need to check in on her every day. She doesn’t need to call you every or every other day. I really can’t stress this point enough. You two should be living your own separate lives.

#5: Be the Leader. Stay the Leader.

A relationship, even a casual one, is based on the male heading the direction of things; being the captain of the ship.

You need to learn to be firm with her. I think this is one of the biggest points that guys struggle with – myself included. You see a beautiful woman who has had all of these life experiences and is older than you, and yet… you need to boss her around? That’s exactly right. She may be older, but she’s still a female nonetheless. And what does every woman find immensely attractive?

• A man who is driven
• A man who believes in himself
• A man who lives for a higher purpose
• A man who doesn’t place her as his highest priority
• A man who isn’t afraid to be decisive
• A man who isn’t afraid to lead her

#6: Mind the Shelf Life

The beginning of any relationship always presupposes an unfortunate (but necessary) end. And in the case of cougars, relationships seem to have a fairly short (albeit passionate) shelf life. Just like most relationships that are unsustainable for the long-term, the cougar relationship will probably be hot and steamy and then fade away as quickly as it came. Though, there are a few cases in which you may see her seldom enough that you can keep the ember burning for longer.

But in most cases, expect that your relations with a particular cougar will be fairly short-lived. And that’s perfectly okay. That’s just the nature of life sometimes. But that also means that the potential for adventure, intensity, and an absolutely unbelievable and unforgettable experience could be on the horizon for you.

So as long as you give in to the fleeting moment, and know that it can be gone at any second, then you will find yourself experiencing maximum enjoyment.

My Most Recent Cougar Experience

So now that we’ve outlined what to expect from cougars, how to go about getting them into bed, and the rules you absolutely must follow if you get into consistent relations with them, let me outline my most recent cougar experience.

As I wrote earlier, this woman is about 10 years older than I am. I met her at a local government event in which I was making a presentation. She walked in a bit late and asked for some directions. After the event was over she sought me out to make some small talk. The fact that I’d made a great presentation and was looking especially sharp probably didn’t hurt my case.

I chatted her up with some sexual undertones and then asked her if she would like to get together. She acquiesced and gave me her number – she seemed like she was looking forward to seeing me again.

About a week went by, and during that week I was focusing on gaming girls my own age. However, I still kept her on the backburner and made a date for the following weekend. Although I could tell there was definitely some interest, I was feeling a bit uncertain because of the age difference coupled with the fact that she’s a pretty even keeled woman on the outside — so kind of a hard read.

That being said, we set up the date for her house and I brought over an entire delicious dinner kit. Her house was incredibly nice, full of beautiful antiques, wonderful designs, and a fantastic rooftop view of the city. It was clear that she was no stranger to luxury. However, that being said, it seemed her cooking skills were a bit subpar. So I had to take the reins in terms of establishing that operation. But I whipped up a delicious meal, which probably only gave me more points in her book.

Then we went up to her roof and enjoyed a nice city view as she prepared some — admittedly — fairly poor drinks. I drank mine out of courtesy, but was unable to finish it. Luckily, she also realized how terrible they were and apologized for her lack of mixology skills.

At this point I realized that we were both getting pretty tired, as we had started the dinner quite late, a feeling that was only exacerbated by the fact that we had been drinking for most of the night. Her demeanor was still very even keel; I tried to get physical on a couple of moments but she rebuffed me. And she met sexual topics with somewhat of a sense of apathy.

At this point, most of the conversation had centered around our business similarities, so I truly began to question if she saw this interaction as a sexual one. And I let these thoughts permeate into the rest of my interaction with her. Normally, it’s not very hard for me to shoot first and ask questions later. But there was something about the situation that made me much more hesitant than I normally find myself. I didn’t feel like my normal Colt Williams self.

So a bit later we found ourselves in the courtyard, and I thought about kissing her, but I still couldn’t read her hesitant demeanor, so I decided against it. Which, you should never ever do. It was a tactical error on my part.

So I walked away, beating myself up about being so affected by her signs. Because of course, as I walked away, I was telling myself that everything with women is about results, not reaction. So I knew that I should’ve done the same thing that I always do with women; I should have just manhandle kissed her and worried about the consequences later.

However, that’s not what I chose to do. I knew that I had to take some sort of action though. So after a few minutes of beating myself up, I called her and told her exactly how I felt about the situation. Not anything needy or emotional, but that I thought she was cool and intended to have relations with her in a more than friendly way.

This action seemed to salvage the situation quite well; she seemed greatly impressed and suggested a date for later in the week. I then hung up with her and felt good about the fact that even though we didn’t get physical I was still able to properly diagnose the situation and respond in a proactive way.

Then we went on our 2nd date, in which she was just as even keel as the first one. We went out to grab sushi, and, even though I was still just as hesitant, I knew that I needed to follow the process that I followed with so many girls before. So I got over my weird hang-up and decided to turn up the sexuality. I was making sure to touch her and bring very strong sexual energy throughout the meal and drinks.

And of course, keeping my logistics in mind, we were at a spot that was not very far from my apartment, so I invited her back, and she happily accepted my invitation. When we got back into my apartment I started escalating the touch even more; just getting back to the basics. And by getting back to the basics I mean I set an intention to kiss her before 7 minutes were up.

And I always follow through on my intentions. And after we shared the first kiss, I swear, a switch flipped in her head. Even though I’ve been with my fair share of women, and interactive with even more, there is always still a small part of me that is very surprised when I see a calm, mild-mannered woman turn into an absolute animal. Within minutes she was saying extremely dirty things and turning into a sexual vixen – as all cougars do if you get the wonderful chance to experience them.

And we ended up going from kissing to sex in under 8 minutes. When all was said and done she said: “I feel like you’ve been really hesitant about this whole situation since we first met. But I thought that you were extremely sexy since minute one. And now I have no doubt of that fact.” This was an important affirmation to always follow your male instincts. If a woman is following your lead and helping facilitate her seduction, then, no matter what she says, it means that she wants it too and in one way and one way only.

Since then we’ve had a fairly constant flow of communication and interactions. She’s told me about her absolutely crazy past, and all of the other usual signs, fixings, and trimmings that you get with all cougars.

But… I suppose it all comes with the territory. And I know that the house of cards is just one inch away from falling at all times. That doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy the ride.

Wrapping Up on Cougar Dating

You now know what to expect from cougars, where to find them, how to get them into bed, and finally… how to date them properly. So really, you no longer have an excuse not to go out and try it for yourself.

You may have told yourself that you’re too young. You may have told yourself that you don’t know where to find them. Or maybe you told yourself that that only happens in the movies. But this is real life my friend. And it’s always slipping away from you.

Perhaps now is the time to act. You know you’ve always wanted to.

So… why not let today be that day?

Carpe diem,

Colt