If you like sex but don’t want a relationship, booty calling is the way to go. But getting and keeping a booty call with minimal pain and drama requires finesse.
Booty calling is a fun-filled lifestyle choice that any man can go for. However, if you want that sweet booty ordered to your door like pizza, you’ll want to communicate this to your woman, or women, without causing too much drama or crushed feelings.
You’ll need a contract.
Failure to set up a proper booty call contract can result in broken-up, hurt women and undesired drama.
I’ve had plenty of casual sex partners. Usually they’re girls who already have boyfriends or husbands and didn’t want to leave their relationships but still desired a little excitement or romance. Or they were too busy with work or school to have a long-term relationship (LTR). Some just wanted no-strings-attached sex with a discreet partner.
Some booty calling meets both the man’s and the woman’s needs, but most have lopsided attraction dynamics. The female will sleep with the male, and give him his “space” in the vain hope that once he realizes how amazing she is, it will turn into a more stable and monogamous “real” relationship.
Some women will sleep with you then quickly realize they can do better and move on. This isn’t real booty calling, as it’s generally the man’s fault for not having the characteristics she desires in a mate. For example, you’re a broke, needy, man-boy with no game who just happened to get lucky.
But for the rest, it’s usually just a player getting as much ass from as many women as possible without handing over his freedom. After all, freedom is a precious commodity.
Yes, some women just want to bang, but the vast majority would prefer a committed relationship with one special guy. Even if they’re willing to share him for a short trial period to seduce the man into monogamy, thus being a booty call.
If you’re trying to go booty calling, either become the master of stringing girls along, or learn how to communicate what exactly it is you desire. Hell truly hath no fury like that of a woman scorned — meaning hurt women can do terrible things to your life — so it’s best to avoid that. Be as honest as possible about your desires and intentions with her. Women being “played” has resulted in more scratched paint jobs, smashed PlayStations, and false rape accusations than necessary.
Why Would You Want a Booty Call Over a Long-Term Relationship?
Booty calling has several advantages and disadvantages. And we'll see that, with this relationship style, convenience often comes with a price. So it's important to understand what you're getting into — and out of — if you opt for a booty-calling lifestyle.
Advantage #1
After sex, she goes home.
Ahhh, the convenience of being able to drain your semen and just get back to what you were doing.
She could spend the night, but then you’d risk her developing feelings (ugh) for you. If this happens too quickly, and you’re not that into her for an LTR, make sure she understands: after you bang, she leaves. If you go to her place, this makes things easier, because you have full control over when you separate for the evening. Most women will be cool with this early on in the relationship. Some may even prefer it. Not all women want an LTR with you, as perhaps they think they can do better.
Because of a hormone called oxytocin, the more you sleep with her, the more feelings of “connection” she’ll experience. She knows this, so she may keep you at arm’s length as her booty call. If you want more power in the dynamic, sleep with her more often.
Disadvantage: #1
She has to go home, usually. Sometimes it’s just nice to have a warm body and an ear to listen to you. Once you set up the booty call dynamic, women will understand that after sex, you separate. This can lead to you feeling a little lonely.
Personally, I don’t get very lonely. I have books, movies, video games, travel, and other distractions.
If you’re someone who hates to be alone, booty calling might not be for you.
Advantage #2
You have the freedom to date other women. Booty calling means it’s “just about sex” and not long-term commitment. So if you’re dating and sleeping with other women, she has no right to judge you. You are not her boyfriend, remember? You can stay out late with friends, flake on dates to play video games, spend all day at the gym, or travel without her. You’re free as an elk in the forest.
Disadvantage #2
She’s also free to do whatever she wants. And if you’re not going to commit to her, then she may find a man who will. That means while you weren’t banging her, some other dude was. She may not be the most “pure and innocent” sort of girl after all. Also, she’s not always going to be available whenever you’re ready for sex. She’ll have her own life, work, and friends. Things she’d do for a boyfriend, she’s not going to do for you.
Advantage #3
It’s temporary. That means you can cut off the “relationship” whenever you want with a minimum of hurt feelings. You’re your own man and can do what you want, and so can she.
Disadvantage #3
She can leave whenever she wants, and eventually, she will. Unlike men, women don’t desire a harem on rotation. They’d prefer to be with one guy. So when they land the one they prefer, they’ll dump all the booty calling for that special guy — who likely won’t be you, since you’re a man-whore.
How to Get Her to Be Your Booty Call
If you want to make a girl your booty call, there are many options available to you. I wouldn’t say one is better than the other. But perhaps you can mitigate the “hurt feelings drama” if you’re more honest.
On that note, here are five ways to get her to be your booty call.
1. Never Commit
That’s it; never commit. You’re like a toy on a string being chased by a cat. You’re always just slightly out of reach. You seem like you’re about to drop at any moment... but never do. She can never quite catch you, and that keeps her chasing with the hope of one day being your “real” girlfriend. Little does she know, you will never commit to her, and she’s been slotted as the girl you drunkenly text at 2 am after the bar closes.
2. Be Super High Value
Most girls will quit being your booty call at some point. They’ll find some guy who’s willing to play the boyfriend game, or she’ll find another booty call. But not if you’re Drake! If your value is high enough, you can have booty calls until you’re an ugly old man. Maybe you’re rich, or famous, or powerful, but for whatever reason, women would rather share you than not have you at all.
Don’t worry, you don’t need to be famous, just high value. For example, be a really cool:
- DJ
- Entrepreneur
- Yoga Teacher
- YouTuber
- Guitarist
- Life Coach
- Bartender
- Neighborhood Hipster
You get the point. Just be the coolest or best at something, somewhere, and women will be willing to be your booty call; not all of them, but many.
3. Buy Her Stuff
Yeah, you could just pay her.
I don’t pay for women directly, but I’ve had situations when I bought a girl dinner or a new coat and got another few weeks of booty calls. Sometimes you don’t need to buy anything material, but just take her out to a movie or concert.
She needs you to invest in her somewhat. After all, if she’s beautiful, why would she need to be booty calling with you? She could be with any guy she wants, right? If you won’t commit, then you might have to spend some hard-earned bread to keep her around. That or outright pay for her, at which point she becomes an escort.
4. Set the Booty Calling Frame with Honesty
If you’re like me, you’re just so darn charming that many girls will sleep with you for fun. You can then set the frame that you aren’t the “relationship” type. How? By saying it.
You: “Amanda, I want you to understand, I’m not looking for a relationship right now. But I really like you and enjoy the fun we have. I’d love to keep seeing you.”
You’ve just created a “frame” of the relationship you’d like to be in. That’s where you call her and she comes over to screw you. Depending on the girl, you can be more or less blunt about this. You can straight up say to some girls, “Hey, I love screwing you but don’t want anything else. Are you cool with that?”
When I started being brutally honest, I was surprised just how many women were willing to be with me in a casual way. Surprise! Women love sex!
The problem for women is they, on average, develop “feelings” much easier, quicker, and on a deeper level than men. Why? Ask a biologist. But if you’re going to be booty calling your girls, it’s something you’ll have to learn how to manage.
5. Meet a Lot of Women
When you meet a girl and try to insert her into the booty call frame, many will say “No thanks,” and some will be outright offended. Expect tears from time to time. But if you’ve got some cold approach skills, nothing is stopping you from going out and meeting more women. Playing the pure, cold approach numbers game means you’ll always have at least one girl to sleep with.
Most booty calls last no longer than a few weeks to several months. You might get lucky and have a girl you can casually sleep with for years, but in general, booty calls are not going to stay with you forever. It’s not in the female nature to do so.
Conclusion
Let's close with a few advanced tips...
Post-coital light cuddling is alright, as long as it doesn’t become all-night spooning sessions. Cuddling is the fast track to “feelings” which are sure to turn a girl from booty calling to drama calling. Women can’t resist falling in love with a man who knows how to cuddle. So if you want to keep her your booty call, a little cuddling is okay, but don’t overdo it. And I’d avoid hand-holding and public displays of affection, as she might get the wrong idea.
Also, if you’re wondering how she feels about the booty call situation, don’t worry; she’ll let you know. Usually, when the girl is becoming upset about the arrangement, you’ll get “the talk.” So make sure you know what you want, and be willing to walk away if you’re not interested in a longer-term, more monogamous situation with her.
So, get your booty calling on and set up a rotation of girls to satisfy your sexual desires. I won’t judge you, you cold-hearted prick. ;)
Tony
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