You won't always be super active with approaching new women.
You'll go through stretches where you're focused on work or other things. You might only approach opportunistically, to girls who show a lot of interest. Or you might break off approaching entirely for a time.
After you take a little time away like this, after a while when you want to get back to approaching, the rust comes back... and you have to deal with approach anxiety all over again.
When you're not in the habit approaching a lot, especially when you're not in the habit of making uninvited approaches (where the girl hasn't signaled you to open), there's anxiety.
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What am I going to say to her? you'll ask yourself.
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I'm not warmed up, I don't feel confident using one of my regular openers.
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I'm not sure what I'll say to her AFTER the opener.
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She's not in an easy place to get to, if she isn't into me it's going to be awkward to move away from there.
You might go out intending to chat up women, and end up chatting to no one.
Yet, there's something you may have once known... something you forget when you don't approach as actively.
And as soon as you remember it, you can be fine.
You start approaching again in earnest, shake the approach anxiety off, and have no trouble meeting girl after girl.
That one thing you can remember (or learn, if you hadn't previously known it) -- the one great trick you can use to get yourself approaching after a hiatus from it -- is the difference between creating attraction and finding attraction.
Comments
Not your fault
In this article you say that it's really not your control or your fault if a girl doesn't respond well to your approach or pays you much attention while talking to you,but how do you know when you are at fault? How do you know if it's because your fundamentals are average or you weren't dressed spectacularly,or if your facial expressions and mannerisms weren't smooth in the moment. How do you know if you were doing the wrong thing and your process was wrong or if she's just the wrong girl for you?
Excellent.
Excellent.
This site is truly great, you are improving the world. Keep it up.
Approach as a Lifetime Habit
Hey Man,
It’s been a while I had stop approaching ( lockdown + a few friends with benefits which I’m still seeing ) but am getting that desire to be very good at finding attraction again.
I do not think there’s anything more important than the skill of approaching a girl.
Before I moved to paris, all I could do was getting girls. But guessed what : that’s a huge thing to know how to do.
It means you can sell and have courage and charm.
And what happened is the skill quickly translated in business for me.
Who’s merit it is there is no doubt : a man named chase amante.
Thank you for all of your incredible advice my man. It changed my life helping me everyday doing my best to succeed in every area of my life in an efficient way.
Anyway here is a question :
For all of us who have been approaching for years, had amazing girlfriends and still are hungry, do you think approaching for all of your life and always strive to improve is a productive habit ?
I stopped approaching for a little too long and think I could have shortened the wait.
Some pause here and there is fine. Business, friendship and hobbies take time. Plus, some periods where you focus on a few girls only is always fun !
But i see what you do and basically, you never stop approaching.
Would love an article on that topic or at least your opinion on it.
I gotta get back to finding that attraction in those streets, and maybe become a real master.
I mean go from very good to master.
Take care Chase,
Umberto
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