Don't Talk About Pickup to Other People | Girls Chase

Don't Talk About Pickup to Other People

Chase Amante

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talk about pickupYou should not talk about game with most people. It might be tempting to (especially when it's a major point of interest of yours)… but mum's the word.

This is a sort of public service announcement, mostly for new guys, but really also for any guy who gets a little 'game obsessed' and starts to spout off about game and girls.

In your day-to-day life, you will have ample opportunity to talk about women.

I suggest that, unless you are on a seduction forum or with a group of men whom you know are very much into game, you don't mention it.

That can be trying at times, especially when seduction is your passion.

However, you really are better off not doing it.

The simple fact is that discussing the art of picking up girls is alienating to 99.97831% of men out there, including many other men who like to pick up girls.

We talk about it here on this site, and if you read here often it might feel like a normal conversation subject, even. Nevertheless, for most people, this is a subject they do not ever talk about, and don't feel comfortable talking about.

So you need some rules around discussing it.

The best rule is, "For most people, don't discuss this subject at all."

A sound corollary to that best rule is, "For those you do discuss it with, tread lightly."

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.

GET CHASE’S ONE DATE SYSTEM

Comments

Esparto's picture

Man, this one has been a big time hurdle for me. Though in my case I think it's part enthusiasm and a bit of it is also honestly pride in showing off my knowledge.

Thanks for the advice. Am going to make sure I stump this out of my conversation.

By the way Chase, how are you able to take concepts and make them sound intuitive.

Most times when I read your articles, what you teach tends to feel like things I always knew which you just sort of plucked right out of my own mind and turned into words.

How do you do this with everything you talk about right from the articles, comments and forum posts.

Is this an ability that can be learned. If so how? And the feeling I just described above, does that perhaps mean that I am attuned to things just like you are except I lack the eloquence to verbalize them?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Esparto-

I've not really broken it down. But it's always a focus in my writing.

So let's see...

Part of it is using a quasi-Socratic method of leading the listener to draw the conclusion himself at least in part before you spell it out for him. So by the time you reach the actual point, he's already nodding his head saying, "Yes, that's just what I was thinking!"

Part of it is using examples the listener is likely to have encountered in his own life, so he can relate back to past times he's done a thing or seen it occur, and say, "Ah yes! That dovetails exactly with my experience!"

It's been my experience in life that if you come out and tell a guy, "Here's what you need to do: it's X," or if you say, "The real truth behind Y is Z," you hit a wall of resistance. That resistance may not even be because the other person necessarily disagrees with what you're saying, but it just may be he doesn't like the words you used, or he's assuming you're telling him he's wrong, or some other thing that causes a defensive reaction.

Lead him down the path of realizing something himself, while giving him examples he can think back on that he's most likely had (or can easily imagine having), and it'll simply feel like it all makes sense.

Chase

Ben's picture

I used to think that at some point I should tell some other guys who I know aren't that good with girls and direct them to girlschase just so that they can unlearn their helpful beliefs and thought processes regarding women. Then I came to a point and realized I definetly won't do that. Even if I were to do that and they learned game theory they may not even impliment anything they read or worse they may think it's bullshit and see me in a different manner because I draw information from this site. They have to figure women out on their own and if they can't then it's not my responsibility they will find someone eventually and be ok with it. It sucks because men really don't get much support from society when it comes to dating. They are akways being misinformed and mislead regarding women because they don't want to get played Then women want to complain why men are so needy and why there are so few good men smh. Following pickup it's like you're part of a forbidden cult and nobody can know about it or you risk being expelled from society metaphorically speaking.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Ben-

Yeah, it's weird, huh?

"Here's this thing that will make your life better, make you a stronger, smarter, more self-sufficient, capable, happier man, and positively impact the lives of everyone you touch because of it. But if you tell anyone about it you'll be driven off."

Part of it is the natural negative reaction people have to schools of thought that seem alien to them. If you start preaching to someone about a new diet that changed your life or some religious or ideological beliefs people will tend to react negatively to that as well.

Couple that with the natural protective instincts of a society toward its women... and the perception that "players are bad"... and, well, you've got an ACME dynamite kit, waiting for detonation ;)

Chase

JR1's picture

In regards to why most experienced guys or naturals won't talk about game you said, "But most people are incurious." This is very true. Most people, let alone guys who get laid a lot, are not curious, intellectual people to begin with. Most people work 9-5's, go for drinks, and repeat. Most people aren't reading books. Most people aren't on sites like this, learning. It takes an inquisitive, intellectual type to even delve into this stuff in the first place. I'm a fairly advanced seducer. I've been doing this for years and with great success. What I have found regarding other advanced guys, who are mostly naturals (since few actually take the time to read and learn on sites like this), is that they are nowhere near as advanced as advanced guys in this community. They tend to understand some basic nuances, but the bigger picture, as well as all the nuts and bolts of seduction, are missing. I don't hold "naturals" to that high of a standard, because very few are really on a very high level. Most are just guys with a lot of notches who have their basics down. That's it. I have a lot of faith in the new guys on here reading this stuff and trying to up their game. If you have that smoothness that you can't teach, and you study this stuff, you'll be as good as the best.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

JR1-

Yeah, this is true.

Most naturals are guys who've figured out a pattern they can follow with women that leads to X% of women they interact with opening their legs, and they just run that pattern with every girl. The girls it doesn't work with they shrug it off and say, "Well, that's just how it is sometimes," and don't worry about it.

They end up being limited in range, although volume-wise a talented natural will typically outpace all but the most talented PUAs (e.g., a lower advanced PUA may have a lot more range than a talented natural and understand the mechanics way better, but still won't put up the same numbers).

Quality-wise, a good PUA will tend to pull higher caliber tail than a talented natural, in my experience. And of course range and flexibility an advanced PUA will blow even a talented natural out of the water. The natural knows how to get laid in N specific environments; a good PUA who's sufficiently inquisitive can learn to do it anywhere.

(best thing about talented naturals, IMO, is that they've figured out ONE way to get girls to an absurd degree of optimization... and by watching them, you can see what that way is, little social nuances they've mastered you might not have paid attention to, and neat things they do that you can incorporate)

Chase

Anonymous 's picture

Fantastic article Chase!!

It's like it's more playa to fib about being a playa.
You don't need to brag and get to fool others while being the biggest pimp.

Win-win situation.

1. I wanted to ask though, why are so many men simps against being playas and how did women take over the west?

2. Also, what do you say when you want a girl, but she tries to tell you she wants something serious?

Do you fib and say you're looking for something serious or just be honest?

I'm basing this off an older age because women are more serious about settling down.

Thanks

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

The "simp epidemic" is due in part I believe to decimated testosterone male levels across the West, plus an increasingly convoluted, frightening, stilted mating environment that causes men to spend more time suppressing their instincts than unleashing them. You end up with a bunch of men trapped in a puerile state of waiting/hoping/praying instead of going and getting.

The woman takeover is what happens any time you have a society where the man are not being called away to war, not dying in batle, and the society has long known tranquility, prosperity, and safety. Women don't need to compete for fewer men (due to much higher male battle deaths); men are no longer called to be super masculine to defend their lands, wealth, and women. With an overabundance of soft men, women can afford to be a lot more uppity, and the soft men roll over and let them have their way.

(the proximate cause is things like mainstream media, female suffrage, and so on -- but the only reason those things are allowed in a society is due to soft men. The ultimate cause of female-centric civilizations is "not men who must battle to live; not enough men dying to protect what's theirs or seize what isn't yet theirs")

If a girl says she wants something serious -- see this comment, I just talked about it on the forum:

Re: Date Plans: When a woman tells you she's looking to settle down or for something srs when you first meet?

Other good responses in that thread too.

Chase

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