Orgasms Satisfy Women; Lack of Orgasms Keeps Them Faithful | Girls Chase

Orgasms Satisfy Women; Lack of Orgasms Keeps Them Faithful

Chase Amante

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orgasm and infidelityThe more women orgasm from sex, the more satisfied with sex and their relationship they are. But the less of a protective effect sex has against other men…

It's actually a bit more nuanced than the title. But the title is not wrong either.

When I was a younger guy I was obsessed with making sure girlfriends had orgasms (as powerful as I could get them) every time with me. If I failed to make a woman I was seeing more than once or twice cum I felt like I'd dropped the ball.

I knew other guys I respected whose philosophies were "I don't really prioritize whether the girl cums or not, honestly. Sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn't." These weren't guys who didn't care about the strength of their relationships; they cared too. But for them, having the woman's orgasm as a "sometimes it's there, sometimes it's not" effect of sex was a lot more acceptable.

Yet as I've aged I've come more inline with my buddies views than my original ones.

I realized a lot of my original focus on "always make her cum, hard!" was out of a fear that if I didn't, a woman would become dissatisfied with the relationship and start to withdraw.

It turns out though that that isn't really the case.

It's not really the case at all.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



Kill Your Inner Loser's picture

Funny, I've come full-circle with the whole "making her cum" thing too.

At first, I was desperate to make every girl cum, because I thought I "needed" to, or I wasn't a "real man". Whatever that meant.

Then I improved myself, worked on my sex/dating life, and had a bunch of options. At this point I started saying, "Real men don't give a shit if she orgasms - I am all that matters! Screw whether or not she enjoys herself." Yeah, I was kind of a dick.

Finally, I reached a point of true satisfaction with my sex life and who I am. I'm in a really good place, I've met a tonne of really awesome girls, and I've had my needs met. I'm satisfied. So now when I meet girls, I WANT them to have a good time - I have a lot of love to give. And I absolutely want them to orgasm, because it makes me feel good to see them feel good.

There's no childish, insecure feelings like "A real man doesn't need to make a girl cum!" No, you don't have to make a girl cum if you don't want to. But I do want to, because it's a hell of a lot of fun.

Great article mate.

Chase Amante's picture


This is exactly where you want to be.

Sounds like you're in excellent shape!


Anonymous's picture

Pardon my question chase,but after reading this article i'm stumped. So your focus when taking women to bed doesn't/shouldn't be to fuck her like superman and give her earth shattering orgasms? Just for her to be physically intimate with you and to get her to pleasure you?Because i'm still a virgin so i'm pretty ignorant about sex and it's effects on women and their feelings towards you. In my mind I thought sex needed to be lights out everytime you sleep with a woman for her to respect you and crave you. This is because I assumed sex was the biggest x factor to keeping a woman devoted and loyal to you and that the less experienced she is sexually the less likely she is to stray from you so long as she's not a virgin who hasn't gone thru a sexual awakening. As a virgin what should my priority be when it comes to sex with women as a noob? Should I just learn to be comfortable with a woman's body and not stress about making her orgasm so I can see her continually? Or should I still strive to give her a great experience without putting overwhelming pressure on myself to perform.
Also when it comes to infidelity can you ever feel 100% secure in a relationship with how you act? Or no matter how you behave,who you select for a relationship,how good you fuck her, she could cheat on you when you least expect it and think you're doing everything right as a man in a relationship? Even for a guy like you who has achieved absolute abundance mentality do you ever wonder if your woman cheats on you or would? I know you're likely not as concerned as other men because you've had a lot of experiences with women that you've desensitized yourself to being letdown or dissapointed by women and if it happens it happens. You've also accepted women's unpredictable and fleeting emotional nature unlike men from red pill and mgtow so nothing women do suprises you at your age.

Chase Amante's picture


I would suggest you focus on maximizing women's sexual pleasure for now.

As a beginner, you have a growth curve to go through with your sexual prowess. You should be focused on improving at pleasing women for now.

Once you get more experienced with that, you can ease up on trying to always be the provider of many orgasms.

But for now, as a greenhorn, yes, still keep your main focus on pleasing women.

It'll only help you get your head in the right space, and get your bedroom skills on lock.


Anonymous 's picture

So let me get this straight, making her cum a lot is not a big risk factor, just a higher one than if you don't make her cum right?

1. What if you're just a natural long lasting guy though? It takes me a while to get my nut, and I can't help but make these women cum.

Even if it's shorter sessions, they still cum pretty fast.

2. Also is this like the sexual awaking thing? Like what if the girl already has came before, but you just make her cum faster and more often? Is she more likely to be loyal than a girl who hasn't came before?

Like is she going to be more loyal where we don't have to worry about anything of you're the best she's had, but she still has came before?


Chase Amante's picture


Yes, exactly.

Making her cum either has no effect, or a somewhat protective effect. But it is not as protective as if she isn't cumming from sex.

Kinda weird, right?

I wouldn't worry about if you just naturally last a long time and women can't help cumming. The majority of my sessions are like that and it doesn't seem to hurt anything.

2. Also is this like the sexual awaking thing? Like what if the girl already has came before, but you just make her cum faster and more often? Is she more likely to be loyal than a girl who hasn't came before?

Like is she going to be more loyal where we don't have to worry about anything of you're the best she's had, but she still has came before?

That is the question, isn't it!

If she's already gone through her sexual awakening, and you just amplify her orgasms, she is not going to be as big a risk as the girl who is waking up to her sexuality for the first time, no.

If she's only ever had clitoral, etc. orgasms before though, and you give her vaginal/cervical, often that is going to trigger her sexual awakening (and she'll not have had it before).

Just because she wakes up to her sexuality doesn't mean she'll stray. But it does mean she passes through a period where she becomes a lot more likely to... as she has suddenly woken up to the orgasmic delights of the male sex, and has become curious in a way she was not before about trying out others.


Bizzy's picture

This is an interesting theory and it kind of makes sense to some degree even without any research or studies. It's like saying why would I look for something (orgasm) that I never had?

But two things are missing (or I missed them while reading the article): age and a woman's past. How do we know whether a woman has ever had an orgasm before? How do we know how many men she has slept with (she will never reveal the truth anyway) and how many times did she get off? If she is like a 20 year old girl and never experienced an orgasm, does that mean she had just a few sexual partners? What about women who are like 40 and claim they never really experienced an orgasm yet still slept with 50 men?

The overall public opinion suggests that women rarely experience orgasms but when we look at datas then the average woman has had more sexual partners than the average man.

Chase Amante's picture


Women tend to be pretty forthcoming about their cumming, especially post-coitus. So the easiest way is just to ask: "Have you learned to orgasm from sex? Or only from your clitoris?" That's assuming she didn't orgasm during Round 1 with you. If she did, then it's just, "Man, that was fun. Those kinds of hard orgasms like that, is that pretty typical for you?"

From there it's an easy segue into a conversation about when she had her first orgasms, how she learned to cum, and so on and so forth.

As for partner counts, you can always just ask -- again, post-coitus is the best time for honest(-ish) answers.

However, you can often sort of tell just by a woman's comportment/behavior.

Check out my article on gauging women's partner counts.

As for the "I've never had an orgasm but I've had sex with 50 men" chicks, typically it is mostly one-night stands, where the sex is drunk and bumbling and the connection is not that intimate. So it makes sense she'd not have had a guy who helped her break through to orgasm. Also typically these girls have some kind of issue -- self-esteem, or childhood abuse -- where they seek comfort from anonymous sex, then run from close relationships.

Because if a woman is only engaging in sex for the pleasure, she will tend to learn to cum pretty quickly. She's having a great time, her defesnes go down, and she starts cumming.

Remember that lots of partners doesn't necessarily mean lots of sex. If she's had 50 men, but all but three have been ONS, and the three that weren't ONS were mere short-term lovers she didn't stick with long, she's had a lot less overall sex than a woman who's slept with only a few guys and had long and sex-filled romantic relationships. She's also missed out on the supportive environment necessary for most women to learn to cum.


Kevin 's picture

Curious Chase what would be your thought on giving your wife orgasms if she is virgin and ideally when would you give her orgasm in the beginning of the marriage or after a year or two or after having kids to maximize her loyalty.

( An aside when you think is the best time to have the kids? Early in marriage or later)

Chase Amante's picture


You're probably not at much risk within a year or two of marriage if you give her orgasms immediately and start having kids after a year or two. Depending on the girl you may not be at a huge amount of risk either way. If she's high sex drive and you live in a bustling metropolis and she works somewhere with a lot of attractive men, I'd be more worried. Otherwise, so long as the relationship's good and you continue to make time for her you should be fine.

That said, you know the #1 secret to keeping a woman as loyal as she can get in any situation... keep her barefooted and pregnant!


Kevin 's picture

Thanks chase I was thinking along same lines, though what about social media girls are pretty active on Instagram, snap these days especially younger girls who mostly don't have any hobbies and are not developed like the kind you like to date. Do you away their phone or anyway you can suggest to limit their consumption of social media.

I think taking their smartphone and giving them a dumb phone might not be practical as you can not take away freedom someone has before. Would curious if you done it with any of girlfriend before.

Lingua's picture

Wow Chase! It's crazy how similar my thought processes were to yours when I was together with my ex-GF. I always wanted to give her an orgasm and thought that she wouldn't stay with me if I wasn't perfect. I guess in my case there are also remnants of a "nice guy syndrome" which is described in that famous book, where as a child you learn to hide your flaws in order to get validation and attention.

--- mini heartfelt letter below ---

As I find it difficult to contact you directly and don't want to take too much of your time, I want to say a couple of words here: you've helped change the course of my life Chase! I discovered GC back in 2014 and then managed to find dates and bed girls as a foreigner in Europe. Then after graduating I got a job in consultancy (if I recall correctly, you were in this field for some time too, I see a lot of parallels in my life and yours), and last year I finally quit my job to pursue a business with a friend.

Now I've basically put my game development on hold, saving your emails and GC articles for later, until my business has grown to a comfortable size. And soon I'll be moving to the city where Hector is currently based. But the last time I hung out with him I heard he's gonna be moving to another country soon, which I'm sure you know. Which is a bit of a bummer to be honest.

Sometimes I wish I was born to a wealthy oil sheikh so that I could have dedicated my whole life to game and travel and perhaps even met you and Hector to work together with you guys already. But I have to make my FU money myself, though by that point I fear that you will have mostly said the things you wanted to say about game and have semi-retired.

I think it would be really cool if the writers of GC and dedicated forum members could all get together somewhat regularly and have business/life/philosophy/game discussions in a sort of summit. I think it would be amazing to bring all of these people together. After all how many people are there out in the world who have the knowledge, experience and the willingness to discuss psychology and game topics to the degree it's discussed here?

Thank you again for creating this website and making GC a reality, Chase.

Chase Amante's picture

Nice to hear your story, Lingua.

Yes, I worked in a consultancy for about 4 years of my life. Then left and started a few companies (some with friends). There are indeed some parallels!

Lots of folks in Bucharest you can go out with... it's one of the big hubs for international male travelers in Europe who want the right mix of Western amenities, nightlife, and Eastern European women. So I expect you'll manage to find your crowd there. Though it's a shame to miss Hector, definitely.

As for being born rich... well, I don't know! We get a few guys in the community from that background. I've coached one or two here and there. But you know what I've noticed is a lot of guys who have it easy financially don't have a lot of motivation to perfect their expertise in other areas. Thus the lack of trust fund top athletes, inventors, or mPUAs ;)

So, pros and cons to everything in life.

Starting out having to make it on your own forces you to deal with a lot of stuff other folks might not have to.

It also engenders a work ethic in you that allows you to excel beyond what most of the folks with a cushier start are able to pull off.


Clementine's picture

As a woman who loves PIV sex, I can tell you for sure that if a guy is not able to give me an orgasm during sex almost every time I would definitely not keep dating him. And if he didn't care if I had an orgasm on a regular basis, that would be a huge red flag, meaning he is a selfish lover. Huge turnoff for me.

deliberater's picture

Clementine, as a man who is satisfied every time his lover has an orgasm and strive to give her one every time, I can totally understand and validate your perspective. What I want to ask you is, can you for a moment distance yourself from your perspective, and instead step into the shoes and empathize with the perspective of this article. Imagine yourself for a moment as a man who is this type of lover that satisfies you and gives women an orgasm during sex every time. As you are this lover, how would it feel to you when your female lover is also interested in being with other men even though you give her orgasms every time? Also, how does it feel for you when, say, you gave her spectacular, mind-blowing orgasms in the past, but just because you were not able to offer her one this time or the last couple of times, she decides she is turned off and ditches you?

Chase Amante's picture

Careful with how you extrapolate things to others, Clementine!

There are certainly women out there like you who are extremely orgasm focused. I had such a girlfriend before. Fun in the bedroom, wild orgasms, but there are some downsides (like when she's mad at you, it's really hard to get her off, and then she's even more sour on you post-sex if the orgasm doesn't appear).

I wrote a follow-up article here discussing sex drive compatibility to put the differences between women in their drives (as well as between the men who date them) here:

Sex Drive Compatibility, Drive Collapses, & Relationship Sex Issues



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