Tactics Tuesdays: Resetting Early Expectations | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays: Resetting Early Expectations

Chase Amante

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expectation reset
What happens if you fail to set proper relationship expectations? Well, your partner can have the wrong idea. Here's how to do a reset when things have changed.

On the forum, we have a member who has eased into a relationship with a girl he picked up off of day game. He never set expectations with her, and has insensibly come to treat the relationship as a girlfriend-boyfriend one.

There's just one problem: he wants to keep picking up.

Yet he's conflicted on how to proceed: he doesn't want to cheat on this girl and hurt her, but he also never said he was going to be her boyfriend, either.

So what should he do?

The answer, of course, is expectations.

More specifically, he needs to set some better (and much clearer) ones.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.

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Comments

Cool's picture

Chase,

Great article man! I somehow found myself doing this lately with any girl that I've been seeing. It gets to a point where not managing expectations and ending up with a hurt girl on your hands can take a toll. Good to avoid that.

Question:
Have a girl I'm seeing that I like back in my hometown (4 hours away). She comes to see me and I see her about two weekends out of the month. It's been great with her so far though I still want to see other women. I wouldn't mind being with her, just not sure about the distance honestly. What advice would you have for establishing a one sided monogamous relationship say, during the typical "Where do you see us going?" talk? Would it be similar to the example with the casual relationship except with a bit more nuance? Is it possible for long-distance? Or should I just let her go.

Thanks,
Cool

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Cool-

Hmm, tough scenario.

I've been in that situation a bit, but the relationship setup was already established before we went long-distance.

It feels sort of cruel to me to try to impose that on a girl after the fact due to distance.

You can't really manage the drama properly, and there's also a chance she quietly accepts it to not rock the boat while being deeply unhappy with it.

Little too much opportunity to do harm, IMO.

I'd probably just let her go, if it was me.

Just the whole long-distance thing I have never especially liked. Not really a good setup for a monogamous man. Okay if you're not monogamous, but it's not easy or fair to switch to that when you're no longer around the girl enough to take her through the weeks/months of adjusting to that.

Chase

tindering's picture

so many girls online say straight up they just want serious and no ons, than they ask your expectations before setting up any date...how can i still get a hookup without lying?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Tinderling-

"My expectations are good company, good conversation, and absolutely NO funny business, whatsoever, missy. I'm serious."

It's not lying. It's flirting.

~Chase

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