How to Attract Women (the Same Way Women Attract Men) | Girls Chase

How to Attract Women (the Same Way Women Attract Men)

Chase Amante

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how to attract women

A few hours ago as I walked down a city street, a woman stepped out in front of me.

Her face and body were ordinary. But she triggered an involuntary response in me. My heart rate quickened. I felt excitement. I wanted to talk to this girl, and meet her.

I didn't talk to her. She finished crossing the sidewalk and entered the car waiting for her, with someone I guessed was a boyfriend.

And, truth be told, she wasn't really my type. Like I said, pretty average face and body.

Had I met her somewhere else though, I'd have likely talked to her and, if she bit, pursued her. Her walk was quick, confident, sexy. Her hair was a clear bottle blonde, and she'd clearly used a curler to add some wave. Her nose was too big, but her eyelashes were long and luxurious, and her lips were bright red, so I didn't stay focused on her nose long.

Her breasts were pert; though I've been with girls with breasts like hers where you take the girl's clothes off and discover those breasts are 90% bra. Her stomach was flat and her legs looked strong, so that was real, though there wasn't much to her butt. Even still, in her form-fitting yoga clothes, she looked good.

I passed through the perfume wake she trailed behind her as I continued my way down the street, and when I inhaled her sent my pulse quickened a second time.

And I thought to myself "That girl is far more ordinary, in her face and body, than plenty of more beautiful women I've seen already today. Yet, she excited me in a way none of those girls did."

What worked for her will work for you as well.

Because the secret of how to attract women is the same for men as what women use to have that effect on men.

And just like women like that can attract you and me with certain irresistible attraction signals (even if we know how they're doing it), you and I can do the same to women, too.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



SZ's picture

Hey Chase,

1. what ambitious can a man have and how can he get power, if he isn't super young and is starting late? like I think of sports, rapping, entertainment, fitness, social media etc. all of those things have ageism unless you are already in there at a young age. it's like what can you really be ambitious about and what can you do to get power if you're starting late?

2. what amount of partners does a man need to have to have more than the majority of women? I hear that the majority of women have slept with 70-100 partners by 30. I know you'll debunk this, but I'll like your thoughts. and does a man need to have more partners than the majority of women to succeed? what number would that be?

3. what do you do in this situation? these 2 girls were at the club, they live was closer to the club than me, but didn't drive, I was thinking of taking my girl home, by didn't know how I could do that while leaving her friend alone. then I thought that I know she'll ask me to drive both of them home and they'll try to use me like a free uber.

didn't like the idea of that so I just got the number, but I couldn't think of a situation without that happening. should I have taken them both home and try to go to the girls crib?

4. should you ever get food with a girl after the club? and should you not pay? what's the scenario for taking a girl home and what if she wants to eat, but you're going to her house. can't really use the I got food at my house if they live close to me and I don't know if not paying will ruin the seduction or not. let me know your thought.

5. I wanted to know what is the point of spending a lot of times in clubs if girls are harder to get results from there and they flake a lot more. are we just going out to work on convos and fast sex? it seems that the majority of time in clubs seemed like time is wasted somewhat.

6. how does this sound as for fixing my sticking point? I'm thinking of being even more aloof and straight to the point. I really don't think day game can save me, and it's too limited for me to get good enough with as well.

I need to to better with clubs and online to make sure my game and sticking points are well rounded.

I've read from a few guys that said they got 40+ lays in less than a year from online, black dudes. so there is something I'm missing and I can't think of what to do, but I'm thinking being more straight forward and showing them I have no time for them might work? idk.

the online convos end out of nowhere. no matter if I move quick or not.

I try to ask what they are looking for, they tell me mostly friends, I ignore it then try to either deep dive or just set up the date. so I try to deep dive and that doesn't work, then I try to move off the app asap. they either give me the number and a date never happens, or they will respond to my opener and then take a very long time to respond after that, when they take many hours or a day to respond, I try to go straight to the ask, they give no response. it's like I can't see where I'm going wrong because they aren't giving me anything to read and work on.

it's just my opener message, which might be a compliment or not, then I ask what they are looking for or how the online dating world is going for them. they answer then they just ghost after my second message or take a whole day to reply.

so I'm moving slow and fast, nothing works. what could be the problem?


Chase Amante's picture


For #1, try art and business. Those are two older men's games, for sure. The entertainers and the athletes are all young, yes. The producers and owners who hold their (contractual) leashes are all pretty old, however, and for the most part have never been entertainers or athletes.

The majority of women have not slept with 100 men by age 30. You're dating black girls, who are more sexual, and tend to have more partners, so I'm not sure exactly what it is. But I would guess it's probably not higher than 20-40 on average by age 30 among the American urban black female population. And as with any average, there are going to be women above it, and women below it. So even if you're only at 20, you can probably still find plenty of girls who are also at 20, or 25, or 15 even.

For your #3 situation, I'll either pull both (especially if both seemed into me), then if it didn't work out for both just keep one up while I let the other one fall asleep. Or sometimes you'll pull both and you can tell the one is super cool about it, and she'll tell you something like it's okay, she'll sleep on the couch (implying your girl can go to your room with you).

Other times you talk to your girl and let her handle the logistics: "I want to invite you back, but I don't want us to just ditch your friend. What should we do?" She may propose dropping her friend off... or she may just tell you it's fine, her friend is fine, let's you and her go.

Gotta ask, man. If you don't ask, you don't get!

Food with the girl after is okay, depends on the situation. If she's raring to go, don't do that -- just get her out of there. But if she still needs some more warming up it's often fine. Paying... well, play it by ear. If she's clearly into you and paying well help things keep rolling, pay. If it's not going anywhere, or she offers to pay herself and seems fine with it, let her pay.

She wants to eat, going to hers, no food at her place, just pick something up on the way or order something. Swing through a 7/11 and grab something cheap, even. There's all-night stores in your area, I'm sure.

5. I wanted to know what is the point of spending a lot of times in clubs if girls are harder to get results from there and they flake a lot more. are we just going out to work on convos and fast sex? it seems that the majority of time in clubs seemed like time is wasted somewhat.

If you get better results elsewhere, you don't need to.

If you don't, well... then you might need to.

I've read from a few guys that said they got 40+ lays in less than a year from online, black dudes. so there is something I'm missing and I can't think of what to do, but I'm thinking being more straight forward and showing them I have no time for them might work? idk.

Dating apps are 80% pictures.

If they're getting 40+ and you're getting 10 or fewer per year, your messaging is probably not the problem.

Figure out a strategy for your pictures, find a skilled photographer who's able to make you look good in online dating pictures, and trick out your profile pics.


Rain's picture

Hey Chase,

With the woman you described in the opening paragraphs, would you have taken her as a LTR girlfriend, or would you only take someome more beautiful despite the lack of "involuntary appeal" as a LTR?

Also, do you know any super skinny guys who do well? I'm stuck that way due to some issues and its not a complaint. I know Mystery was really skinny and he did alright I think? Up to me to keep working on approach anxiety and find out eh?

Chase Amante's picture


I wouldn't have, no.

But I have a lot of strict logical rules I follow about LTRs.

I have plenty of times bedded girls I was very hot for, and wanted to keep seeing, whom I forbid myself from seeing any further because I knew they were beautiful but trouble, or sexy but not beautiful enough, or nice and beautiful but not some other things I want. And I am keenly aware that the easiest time to stop seeing a girl is at the beginning, not later on down the line (once you're hooked!).

I think I'm at the extreme end of choosiness when it comes to LTRs. I've had many friends I've seen go from dating more beautiful girls to dating far less attractive ones, and even marrying those girls and having children with them.

So I'm probably not a good benchmark when it comes to extrapolating LTR selection behavior for the populace at large.

Also, do you know any super skinny guys who do well?

Of the three most talented seducers I've known:

  • One was reed thin

  • One had a slight amount of muscle, and a bit of a gut

  • One was very fit with moderate-to-large muscles

Each of those guys was at over 200 lays. They were all cold approachers. And I've seen each of them get with some pretty attractive girls.

So yes, it is absolutely doable.

For my reed thin friend, he did have a slight height advantage (6'1" or 6'2" maybe?), and was generally considered good-looking to very good-looking (depending on the girl), and had probably the single most hilarious, cutting, sex-and-pop-culture wit of anyone I've ever met. He would just go up to girls and have them laughing very quickly at the irreverent sexual jokes he was making, and pretty soon they'd be back at his place drinking at his little home bar.

Then they'd be in his bed.

He never dressed up (usually just in a plain red t-shirt), and had a slight stoop. But was a very charming guy.

It might be hard to hit triple digits if you don't have a few outstanding characteristics (his were decent looks, a little extra height, and a killer wit... plus the home bar he relied quite heavily on as his excuse to pull), but you can still do very well without them... and you can develop outstanding characteristics yourself (wit, muscles, confidence, charm -- all these things are 100% learnable. My friend with the highest lay count [>400] did not have any real stand out characteristics, aside from the extreme charm he developed... he was below average height and of average looks... but he was very methodical about game and completely obsessed with shagging new girls. And he turned himself into a very, very confident guy).


SZ's picture

Had a few questions Chase,

1. What if you practice all of these fundamentals and it still doesn't work?

I've had people tell me I have a deep movie sounding set voice, that I have a slow calm walk, I have muscles, I'm always told I dress very nice, always, I'm always told that I have great hairstyles, great posture, sometimes I hold my head too high, etc.

the only thing I can really work on is getting even more muscles and losing more fat, but that won't fix the problem because I've still dealt with these problems of fundamentals not working for me when I was a lot slimmer.

so what can it be if I have all these good fundamentals and it's not helping me?

2. When you say women like men who move a lot, I thought somewhere else you said they didn't because it makes the guy look nervous and he should remain still at all times. Could you clarify for me?

3. What's an open mouth smile and how do you do it? I've tried it and didn't think it looked good.

4. What age range is most of your advice for? I ask because you said fundamentals matter the most and not even money does. But from your being older article the age you said you should have some type of money or business is by 34ish, to me that's young still, and I assume your advice is focused on pretty much every man's age, but if fundamentals are the number one way for attraction over money, then why do men need to have businesses or be retired by 34 to get younger women? and I know you said attract, but I'm assuming you're saying fundamentals are to sleep with women too. sorry to keep bringing the age thing up, but it confuses me on if there is still ways to do this as you get older and aren't established.

5. Can you go into more detail about having your voice change in a seductive way like how pro seducers do it?

6. Not from the article, but wanted to know how do you get people to respect you more in this type of way?

A. I can reach out to people and they sometimes don't reach back or take a long time to reach, and these people are close to me. it seems they don't value when I try to reach out as of I'm not important and I don't even talk to them that much.

but when they reach out to me they want to talk.

B. with women, they don't want to go on dates, they try to make me a chasing orbiter text buddy, even tho I'm sexual and I don't engage in the text buddy platonic stuff. they act like I'm not important enough to go out with and respect.

C. I have had many people try to be my friend without me even trying, but they always end up being fake and talking behind my back for some reason when I don't do anything to them. they befriend me to be fake?

D. how do I change this to make myself more important and demand respect while being taking more seriously and how to stop these fake friends and have girls go out with me and stop this nonsense?

P.S. Did you know you look similar to the boxer canelo alverez? Google him and let me know what you think!!

Thanks Chase!!

Chase Amante's picture


Then maybe the problem is not fundamentals.

Maybe the problem is game.

Or vibe.

You are a 'hard case' guy, in that you do not know what your problem is, and are not able to present enough information about the problems you're seeing that someone can diagnose it over text.

Your best bet I think would be to get an in-person coach -- either a professional you pay, or a talented guy you know who is also cool and will actually look at what you're doing and give you real advice -- and get him to go out with you and observe you and help figure out and fix what's not working.

Re: movement, you're probably thinking of this article. That was one of the first things I wrote on this site. I think if I was writing it today I would focus on talking about context, as well as contrast. e.g., the still guy standing off to the side somewhere can be visually arresting, and look mysterious and powerful. When he moves, he will tend to be more deliberate and intentional (as mentioned in this article... point #9). However, when you're cold approaching random women, usually you need to come in a bit more animated, to captivate and capture their attention, at which point you want more movement. Then typically as things progress, and the vibe becomes more intimate, you are going to slow it down a bit and become increasingly still.

Open mouth smile:

4. What age range is most of your advice for?

18 to 59 or so.

Once you're over 60, nightlife is typically out, unless you're the owner.

And there aren't many guys spry enough over 60 to day game actively.

Though, it depends on genetics and lifestyle. I know some mid-60s men who could day game and probably do well at it if they chose too. However, most men at that point in life are past the point where they're motivated to do that.

5. Can you go into more detail about having your voice change in a seductive way like how pro seducers do it?

I cannot write any more descriptively than I have.

You can pick up a copy of my voice product. It's also a bonus free with One Date.

Otherwise, I'm sure there are YouTube videos on having a sexier voice, where you can see and hear this demonstrated.

As for your respect question, reread these articles:

Second one I wrote in response to you (at least, I think that was you -- Balla was your old handle, right?) asking this same question... 7 years and 1 day before you wrote this comment (you wrote this November 16th, 2019; I published that article November 15th, 2012).

Looks like you're still working on it.


Jamo's picture

Hey Chase,

I wonder whether you are familiar with the landmark forum. I can't seem to get a clear explanation from the proponents of landmark though the people who attend these programmes say they see a profound change in themselves afterwards. It seems suspiciously unreal.

What methodology do such programmes employ to for its participants?

What anchors their ideologies? What power of the mind do they tap into that we can’t already access? Can we buy into the change they promise its participants?

Chase Amante's picture


Yes, I'm very familiar with it.

I had a friend attending many years ago, and did a deep dive on the methodology they used there because I didn't trust it.

I can't seem to find it now, but I found an in-depth walkthrough of everything they do in one of these seminars. The first thing they do on Day 1 is to ask anyone who is only there because someone else pushed him to be there, and not because he is there of his own free choice, to stand up. Then once all those people are standing, they tell them to walk to the back of the room, get a refund, and leave. Of course this uses social pressure (nobody wants to be the one asshole walking down the aisle to claim a refund and slink out of there, tail between his legs) to force people to 'decide' on their own to stay, which creates buy-in. Everybody sits back down, and nobody leaves.

The rest of the seminar is like this. A bunch of NLP tricks and psychological mechanisms used to break down an individual's defenses, that use a meta dark pattern from NLP of breaking each person in the audience down, into sniveling, gibbering messes, then building them back up again, while anchoring the effect of the buildup phase to Landmark Forum itself.

The end result is that the participant comes out of it feeling like a new man -- and that Landmark is completely to thank for it!

Landmark then has each participant work his network to find new recruits. The recruits come to free sessions, which their friends guide them into signing up during, extolling the virtues of Landmark.

Everyone who attends will tell you his life has changed. He cannot tell you how it has changed, or any tangible benefits to it.

I will say it seems to help people in letting go of the past. So if you have trouble with that, it might be worthwhile.

It strikes me in many ways as analogous to a lot of other spiritual journey-esque events, like acid/mushroom trips, lengthy meditation retreats, rock-bottom life moments, and other things where you hit bottom and are remade. Usually those things are beneficial. So probably there is some benefit to Landmark -- it's an acid trip without the acid.

They do some really weird, acid-trip like things there, like using NLP and hypnosis to make you feel absolute terror that everyone around you is an evil being, then having you turn to look at your neighbor and realizing he is a friendly face, causing you profound relief (that reportedly leads to the whole audience laughing in relief, crying tears of joy, etc.).

But the people who go through it mostly seem to get way into it (with the odd grouser here and there).

I wasn't able to get my research to my friend in time -- he'd already completed the seminar by the time I told him about the methodology.

All he could do was smile about it, tell me it was wonderful, and try to get me to go.


Harry.P's picture

Hey Chase,

Love the article! Especially the explanations following the fundamentals and how to master them.
For the past year or so I worked a lot on posture, walk and movement speed. Yesterday, I randomly asked my girlfriend what she found attractive about me and she said: " You have this charisma and your walk... SOOO SEXY".
And she said the way I moved gave the impression I was "good in bed". And she said I have the sexiest smile ever. And my voice turns her on.

I'm so glad I'm coming across as attractive. This girlfriend of mine is one of the hottest on campus and my first white girlfriend (I'm brown, of Indian decent). She is also my 2nd 'hot' girlfriend. (The first one was hot but so fucking crazy. It was a major headache). Working on fundamentals is the best investment by far. And it's not over yet. My fashion is just slightly above average but nothing spectacular. I have a slight gut but a solid physique. My hairstyle is just above boring. I still get approach invitations but improving in those areas will skyrocket my attractiveness.

I'm not good looking but what I found on this site made me one of the hottest guys on campus, where I'm an ethnic minority and brown guys just act weird. So I broke stereotypes.


Oh and I'm so buying One Date when I save up for it. I already own HTMGC and Hector's college book.

You know, Girls Chase is not a magic pill. But for anyone who is willing to grind and work hard like a man, Girls Chase is as close as one can get to a magic pill. And THAT, my friend, is amazing. In this information crazy days where there is advice on how to do anything, yours stands out. Excellent advice + hard work leads to success, as my chess master told me.

And since the average will not bother hustling that hard, that's just good news for me ;)

Gotta go hustle now.

Love ya man!

Chase Amante's picture

Very happy to hear this, Harry :)

You sound like you've made some great improvements in both appearance and behavior. And that people have taken notice.

Nothing better than one of the hottest girls around telling you how hot you are (and you knowing she means it because... well... she's shacking up with you!).

Even better that you've started now. A lot of this stuff (fundamentals improvements especially) many guys don't start working on until after they graduate college and get out into the wide world. Then it's not so easy to meet girls anymore and they realize they've got to hustle.

That you're already where you're at right now puts you in an excellent position for the future (assuming you continue to improve -- and it sounds like you totally will, so I see nothing to worry about there).

Keep killing it, brother!


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