Social Acceptability and Sexual Acceptability in Dating | Girls Chase

Social Acceptability and Sexual Acceptability in Dating

Chase Amante

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social and sexual acceptability
The more acceptable a match a woman thinks you are for her, the better your odds with her are. Here's what you must do for her to mark you 'acceptable'.

Since I started this website, we've always stressed the importance of fundamentals. Fundamentals range from your posture, facial expressions, and voice, to how you walk and move, your hairstyle, your facial hair, your clothes, your fitness, and physique. Also included: social fundamentals like sprezzatura, and how well you stick to the Law of Least Effort. All are great, and you will do better with women the better you get on each. But why are they important?

Fundamentals help so much because they make you more attractive. Get your fundamentals good enough, and you can even overcome your disadvantages. Girl doesn't usually like men of your height, weight, race, job type? Get your fundamentals good enough, and it becomes "Wow, you're not like the other [whatever you are]!" Why would this be, though? How do fundamentals overcome deep-seated biases in partner choice?

The way fundamentals do this is by raising either (or both of) your social acceptability or your sexual acceptability. Acceptability is a topic Alek's been discussing in his "Female State Control" series, under the name of 'social frame'. I want to unpack this concept more here, and look at a few of the different ways 'acceptability' can go. Because not all sorts of acceptability are created equal.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



Risenin2019's picture

The sexually acceptable dude is pretty fucking ugly. My thoughts are he is in Brazil or southern Europe where they worship whites and pale guys so maybe he gets away with a pube-beard.

patrick7star7's picture

Hey Chase. Hue from the boards here. Absolutely love this article. If you have a moment I would appreciate feedback on a recent situation I had.

I recently made a bit of a fuck up when I was out doing night game. I ran into a girl who I know from an old social circle (one of the hottest and most sought after girls) when the whole social circle was out. The men in this circle have a strong social approval of me, but the girls are aware of my reputation and things have become polarized amongst them.

The moment I walked up to the group the men fought for my attention, except the leader of their group who had this sexy girl's ear. In my eyes, he was the man with the social acceptability in this situation.

As I continued to say hi to people, the women of the group began talking to and flirting with me. I felt in control and that I had sexual acceptability given the progress in my fundamentals in the past years, as compared to when I had closer ties to this group.

I make my way over to the sexy gal and we begin talking. The other guy (socially acceptable) left us alone, and eventually (after some shit tests) her girls left us alone. I've been kicking myself about not sealing the deal and inviting her home, because I instead went for the "pop in, pique her interest, making quick & interesting conversation with touch... then get her number for a one on one later and disappear". Unfortunately, she never answered my texts even after persistence. 

This entire situation was probably only about 5 minutes of my time. 

I really think I should have just invited her home, but that's beside the point.

Given that there was a socially acceptable man there, the "get number for a one on one" held little weight because it wasn't congruent with my vibe and "method" in fundamentals. I was there being a more sexually acceptable man, and with his more consistent group association, he was the more socially acceptable one. So, it was my job was to be more aggressive and to invite her home that night. Instead, I played into more of a social frame with discreet plans for later. In doing so, my sexual contrast to his more traditional, socially accepted method lost some of it's power.

This came rushing to me as I read more of the article, what are your thoughts? I think what I did lacked congruency and you did mention how important that can be.

In general, are there some common situations when one outweighs the other?



Tayshi's picture

Hey Chase,

How would a natural behave in a group of girls if another guy was present and that guy happens to have some natural attractive advantage over him?

Jimbo's picture

I think if you're high-status enough, you'll automatically be both socially and sexually acceptable. If you're some hot shot musician for example - even some fruity, mellow popstar - it'll be seen as "acceptable" by everyone for the girl to both jump in bed with him the first night and be seen socially with him.

Btw the guy on the floor looks like an older Hector Castillo.

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