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Men often think women don't like them for something unrelated. When in fact 'she's intimidated by you' is often the true cause of women's reserve.
Do you intimidate women?
Might you intimidate women even if you think you don't?
For years, a professionally successful friend of mine has struggled with women. He's a tall guy with a healthy bank account, a good head on his shoulders, and a rugged ex-Marine Corps background. On top of all that, he's studied game under many of the more notable seduction gurus that have come and gone.
Contents
This friend does direct day game, and everyone who's gone out with him tells me his game is very solid. It's no problem for him to attract attractive (and often much younger) women. He has little difficulty to get them out onto dates either. Many of them come home to his place after, and often he's able to kiss them and begin the escalation.
But there his efforts stop. Because almost every single woman he ends up this far with (and he gets this far with lots of girls) puts the brakes on hard and leaves. He can go almost a year without sleeping with a new girl sometimes, despite bringing girl after girl to his place and getting to the kiss.
He's tried taking it slow and stretching things out across multiple dates. He's tried going for it in one date. He tried an exercise I gave him, where his mission was to invite one girl home each day for 30 days, including women he'd just met on the street. It surprised him how easy it was to get girls back to his place -- yet none of these girls he pulled home slept with him.
He's tried technique after technique, method after method. He's tried abandoning seduction techniques and focusing on the gym or clothes or other physical attractive qualities. He's tried everything. He's mystified myself and a few other very experienced friends too... purely by dumb luck a guy who pulls as many women home as he does should sleep with one of them at least accidentally. But almost every single seduction of his ends the same way.
In the end though, it turned out there was one thing above all he had to fix.
Once he fixed it, he finally cleared his final hurdle to getting together with women he wanted.
That one thing was intimidate women less -- a problem he did not even realize he had.
Comments
Humbleness
Chase: Just read your article on humbleness a few days back. I loved the pointers and advice you offered! However, I have a friend who is pretty good with girls and he seems to use a totally different tactic to display his humbleness to girls. He tends to trash himself before girls all the time. For instance he will tell girls that he is so broke he doesn't even have two pennies to rub together and that thanks to the odd jobs (mowing loans, waiting tables etc) he was able to bring the girl out on this expensive date (inexpensive restaurant they are at). He jokingly bashes himself on a number of things including his physical features such as the gap in his teeth and so on. Girls just eat it up and he gets scads of lays. Would it be possible for you to break down this style of his and how best to pull it off? Regards!
Friend
2 reasons from my pov:
1. Your buddy is either being self ironical which displays humour and confidence in one since women can't really tell whether he is serious or not
2. If he is seriously humble he is probably very good looking. Women will see a good looking humble guy as attractive while they will call a less attractive guy as insecure
Keeping a thermometer on interactions
Hey Chase,
Assuming Value and Attainability are the main factors in an interaction, being proficient in detecting changes with V and A is important. Correct me if there are more things we should keep tabs on in an interaction.
I'm not sure if you had addressed this in an article, but how can we differentiate a V problem or A? Yes, we may have good fundamentals, and attainability may be more of the issue than value. But we never know what goes on in a girl's mind. Is there a way to differentiate based on observations or to test her and confirm the type of problem?
In two scenarios:
1. In general (a problem that is consistent in our game)
2. In REAL TIME (at the moment with the girl in front of us, meeting her, on date, sex, relationship etc.)
Each diagnosis requires different solutions. What are the symptoms for value problem vs. attainability problem or when BOTH is present? Lastly, if it's originally one (ex. attainability issue), and is progressing to being both (ex. chasing lowering our value also), how does that look differently? Attainability issue indirectly causes value issue afterwards. The dilemma is solution to one or the other contradicts each other at this stage.
Of course, if there are ways to confirm as well as rules of thumbs, then we are well equipped!
Thanks Chase,
Lawliet
Scary vibe
Hey Chase,
How do you build this vibe to the extent of scaring off people by appearing near their sidewalk? That's pretty hilarious and impressive! But It can be a useful mode to switch into when we pass by crime areas
You briefly mentioned the basics in "How to handle street life threatening situations". But is that enough to generate such strong vibe you described in this current article in spite of being a skinny guy? Such physically dominant vibe!
Lawliet
Questions
This right here is why you can't leave this site man; who thinks of stuff like this? I never heard anything like this before. Just imagine if you never told your friend this? He might have been bitter, just like guys on here could be without knowing this.
I know you gotta do what you gotta do, but man, can we get an article at least once a month from you when you decide to move on from gc? Lol
I had some questions tho:
1. How did you make your new self real? How did you keep yourself from looking like a try hard fake tough guy? How did you make it into your mind that this is real, not fake?
50 cent said that the guy that always has a mean mug on his face, is really scared, he just wants to show others he's not.
So how did you make it real and make others know it's real ? You know the fake try hard angry guy?
Did people try to test you to see if you're really going to do something to them? How did you do it to make them back off?
How did you just up and change and be taken serious like that without it looking fake ?
How could I do that without looking like I'm faking it? And feel it and mean it?
2. So did your new intimadating self, scare off your old foes? Or were you same old Chase to them? If they were now scared of you, how did you do it to change their old precedent if you ?
3. Could you give tips on avoiding women like those men you mentioned that lured women? I know you have a crazy chick's article, but what if they hide all of their craziness and show no signs? What if they pretend to be sweet ? How could we tell that we shouldn't be alone with this girl or to trust her? This goes from day game, night, club, bar, especially online.
How can we tell not to go back alone with this chick?
4. Same for men, like how the guy got lured up to a hotel, how do we know if these guys we meet and we think could be good wingmen, or want us to bar hop like you mentioned in some articles of when you met somebody.
How do we know we won't get tricked, like that one guy? What if you meet him at a club or bar and he says let's go to this place I'll drive?
What if you just met him and he or you want him to be your wingman, then he got you to his place waiting for him to get ready or whatever to go out, but he has different plans?
5. This article has gotten me paranoid. What are your thoughts on weapons Chase? Do you think we should have some kind of weapon to protect ourselves should we have them in our home somewhere close to us? Like what If a chick has bad intentions, but we are blinded by it? We invite her over or she invites us over and we have no idea on what's going on, What if we think we met a new friend like I'm sure that motel dude you mentioned thought he had?
I know we can't get into a club or something with them, I'm talking about being alone with a person or going back to their place for whatever reason.
6. How do you know who to trust if you meet people that you don't know like that ? Like night life people or anyone? I know you said we should be more social, but how do we know it's with good intentions?
For example a guy in vip says he'll give you a cup of their drinks, how do you know he won't try to make you owe for that drink or some shit?
How do we know what people really have good intentions?
Thanks
Chase,
Chase,
How can we tell a girls too intimated to go out with us for a first date? And how should we comfort them? And how do we know if they need to be comforted or not? Hiw do we know the difference between an intimidated girl that wants to go out compared to a girl who really doesn't?
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