When she isn’t ready for the whole thing, sometimes you can get
in with just the tip. But you can use this tactic in many more ways
than just sex.
Contents
1. Getting Your Foot in the Door
2. 5 Awesome Foot-In Techniques
- Just the Tip
- Sit for Five Minutes
- We'll Just be There 30 Minutes
- Just Meet Me One Time
- Just Kiss Me for Two Seconds
Time for a fun post.
In psychology, there's a form of compliance known as the ‘foot-in-the-door' technique. The basic premise of it is once you get someone to agree to something little, you can easily expand it to a great deal more. Just like getting your foot in the door enough for you to then widen the door.
We've talked about a few of these over the years. “Just sit for five minutes”, for instance, I talked about in “Don't Let Her Go.”
Today, I'm going to give you a template for this form of compliance. And I'll give you five (5) common examples of when and how to use this.
Comments
How Do I Know When To Drop Something?
Chase,
I'm looking forward to the article on emotions! I'd like to ask you when do you drop something? I'm going through a dilemma here. I've been playing baseball since I was 5(19 now), and my heart is at a road block on what to do...
For the last 3 years, I wasn't able to compete from chronic injuries I've had. Safe to say that when I stopped competing and playing against others my determination just plummeted completely. For those 3 years all I did was train. And I just kept having recurring injuries and that's how that time went by.
I finally visited a professional strength coach for baseball players, who taught me a lot about why I kept getting injured, and gave me a wealth of info on the biomechanics of the sport and injury prevention. Anyways I've been getting back in the groove and I'm feeling good and strong and healthy.
But, I still have no motivation. I have been practicing for 3 years. It'll take a couple of months till I can start competing again now that I'm healthy. I believe that once I start competing, my determination will skyrocket. I'm a competitor at heart, and all practice no play zapped my motivation and desire.
The reason why I say these things is because I'm finding it very hard to hold on to this. There are other sports that I'd like to take on and master.
But I'm really good at baseball. If I get healthy and start playing I will play pro. Which is why I hold on so tightly to it even with my constant failure to get healthy.
I believe once I compete again my love of the sport will grow back, but for now, I find it very tough on the will power to complete the training and workouts. I am doing it, but halfway through I feel like leaving even though I don't.
For a long time I've had no real incentive to continue with the sport, but I stuck it out for years with no light in sight, and I'm about ready to call it quits. But Idk if this is a mistake.
How should I figure this out?
The Last 5%
Slay-
Sounds like you've held on for 3 years, and are down to the last 3 or so months before you're back in it, and you're thinking about dropping it? Even though you're pretty sure once you're back in it, you'll be back in it big time, excited, fulfilled, and with a bright future with it?
The last 5% is the second toughest with anything (the first 5% is arguably tougher, with many things). You often have to fight through motivation problems as you get close to completion/transition. I'm going through this right now with the course; you get 95% done, run into some roadblocks putting the finishing touches on, and get really frustrated and go through the, "Oh, screw it, maybe I should just quit this thing," bit. But you've just got to soldier through it.
When you're close, the focus needs to be going out on a high note. Get back in, compete, get some wins under your belt... and THEN if you still want to walk, walk.
Until then, when you're close, and you've worked at it a while, soldier on. The last bit is often the toughest, or at least the second toughest, bit you'll get through.
Chase
Dealing groups of three
Hey Chase,
Salesmen secrets are out! :)
Thanks for the article! I'll definitely have to study this one.
Re: Number 3 with 2 girls
I've read articles on here and comments which say "approaching groups of two girls is hard"
I think in one of your articles on "Trounce male competition with your fundamentals", briefly offhandedly mentions a group of 2 girls and you.
But how do we deal with situations like these?
Given, no wing man or woman to help keep the other occupied.
The girl will feel pressure not to leave her friend isolated and left out in conversation.
Re: Number 3, with friends
In a social perspective, I realize this when I was out with my friend, and we bumped into someone from ages ago.
We chatted and then the guy faced all his attention to chat with my other friend, and I felt left out.
Which is understandable, not everyone is tip top on social dynamics.
But the weird part is, ok, if I drop comments during the conversation, it feels like I'm disruptive.
Also attention seeking and that's not what a high value man does.
I throw a bored look but then on the outset, I'm being boycotted.
So what can I do in this position so we are all hot on this interaction while not tooling or whatever?
Re: Number 3 - Social, when he tools you
Now same scenario as above, but as the story unfolds, the guy then throws a boycott frame, "This guy..saying blah blah" while leaning to my friend and looking at me like I'm awkward.
And I was just teasing how he formed an opinion of something based on one instance, not insulting but a harmless tease. How would you react in this when someone does this weird frame in the group?
Bored look seem too weak for this.
But that's what I did...I actually also succumb to the temptation of using his own "this guy"...
Bad move...
Re: Number 3 - when you're talker
Lastly, if I'm in the position of talking and engaging everyone, how would I keep both people engaged in a social situation and everyone is happy? (not in a romantic one because we know we have to isolate in that case or focus on one...which reminds me how exactly did you get two girls in your hotel room at the same time and fingering them...=))
Lawliet
Social Nuances
Lawliet-
I'm not having any special rules pop to mind for pairs of girls. Approach, chat up your girl, give some time to her friend, but mostly focus on your girl. If the friend gets occupied with something else, great. If she doesn't, sporadically include her with something light and fun, then go back to your girl. If I can think of any more complex rules for it, I'll do an article on it. But for now I can't think of anything all that special to talking with two girls.
If someone completely ignores you in a conversation, just do something else. Get on your phone, or excuse yourself. Tell your buddy you're with, "Hey man, I'm going to head over to the bus stop. Meet me over there," and tell the other guy, "Hey bro, great to see you again," and take off. Don't hang around when someone is going to exclude you from the conversation.
If someone is implying you're awkward, well, first thing you ought to do is ask yourself what triggered it. Usually you'll have done something awkward, and probably should not do that. Regardless, I would just excuse myself, same as the answer above, unless you have something to gain from sticking around there. If you're the guy with the highest social value that guy will realize he messed up. If you're not, well, then you need to get better at not doing things that lead to higher value people excluding you.
As for keeping everyone engaged when you're the talker... be interesting. Give each listener sustained spurts of eye contact. Involve your listeners: "Have you ever been to...?" "So have you ever had it happen where...?" There's no guarantee you'll do a good job of this. Even the most engaging people have people who'll tune them out. But the more engaging you are, the more involvement you get, the better you get at eye contact and inclusion, the fewer people you'll have who get bored and tune you out.
Chase
Hey Chase,
Hey Chase,
This is a quick reply, I will read the article you linked me, but I wanted to know something that I can remember while picking up.
What makes a girl not want to flake on you? What can I do during my interactions that would make her want to see me again?
Would I have to be warmer, deep dive more? Touch her more?
Both for club game and day game scenarios.
I would just like basic tips on how I can get them to want to see me and not flake.
2. How can I stop my fear of me not being where I want to be in the future?
After realizing how fast time has gone, I'm scared of it happening again, I'm scared that i won't be where I feel I should be with everything in life. I fear of failure, terrified. I work hard everyday to make sure I succeed, but I have this annoying feeling of, what if Im not where I feel I should be by a certain time? I'm afraid of it, because now I felt I would be way better off with everything in life, but I'm not, so that makes me scared about it happening again, I want to succeed, but I dont want that feeling of fear over me everyday, I worry so much about it. I just fear that all my efforts might be in vain, and I don't that.
Fear of Not Making It in the Future
SZ-
The more attractive you are to her, the less she will want to flake
on you. Improve your fundamentals and improve your game, and the women
you meet will want to flake less.
All can help, yes. Deep dives I usually suggest you save for the
date, however.
Take more action now.
The more action you take toward where you want to be, the more
confident you'll feel you'll get there.
The less action you take toward getting there, the farther away from
your goals you'll feel, and the more you'll fear you'll never reach
them.
Chase
Money Online
Hi Chase,
This is a reply from the making money online question.
The part about me sparring online is on Facebook, I seen it from someone else and I don't have one, it happened years ago too, so I don't know if they would even take it down, or maybe they might want to keep it because it bothers me.
The reason the video is a big deal is because I plan on being a social media influencer. With that however, I have seen some that did it before and people dig up everything from their past. They find dirt on them somehow some way. And you have a guy like me, thought looking guy, looking bad at sparring, then it's a bad look on my end, I won't be taken serious. These are mostly teens that watch these videos, so they will be immature. The only reason why I want to do this is because the money is good, but I'm guessing you say its best to ignore the video right?
I'm just thinking how can I be taken serious and not get laughed at because of that video.
Chase,
Chase,
Do you have friends that aren't the brightest, or dumb, that are successful and make good money?
What did they do?
I don't consider myself dumb, but I'd like to know how guys that are dumb find ways to make a good living, legally of course ;).
Waste of time
why not be open about having a high need for sex at the beginning of a relationship, and find someone who's a good match for you in that area?
There are many women out there who want sex at the beginning of a relationship.
It seems pretty inefficient (in terms of YOUR time) to systematically pressure someone who has been honest about not being ready for sex yet. It also either leads to distance and a lack of trust, and/or the "crazy" behavior you all claim to hate. So then you have to deal with that too.
Do you choose to make it harder on yourself as a game? Am I missing something?
Hello, nice article again and
Hello, nice article again and always,
You say : "Of course, once she's there, if she has a good time, she'll be open to doing more with you. "
But can you write an article on how doing for that she has a good time ( concretely/in a practical way)?
Thank in advance
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