20 Ways to Text a Girl that Make Her Super Attracted | Page 2 | Girls Chase

20 Ways to Text a Girl that Make Her Super Attracted

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

how to text girlsIn the article on second dates, Todd comments on a girl he's met and some of the texting they've done between their first date and second, and finishes up with the questions below:

What's the next step? I don't want her to lose interest, but I'm gone for this entire week. We said we'd get together next week once I'm back. Do I just want an entire week before I give her another call/text? I don't want to fall out of her mind.

If you've been around on this site a bit, you know the philosophy on how to text girls here is this:

  • Write your texts simple and to-the-point
  • Don't get mired in long text conversations
  • Keep your eye on the ball (i.e., setting up dates)

You probably even know some of the rationale behind that... if you've ever found yourself in a long, frustrating back-and-forth trying to figure out how on Earth you're going to get this girl you've traded 10,000 text messages with out on a date, you've had an inkling of this already.

But, the temptation may still be strong to enter into some witty text banter, and do a fair amount of "maintenance" texting... after all, no harm can come from being in contact, right?

This post is put together to break you of any remaining predilections you might have for engaging in long / witty / thoughtful text conversations with women, and show you clearly, precisely, and unequivocally why you must focus not on building rapport over text... but on sorting out dating/meeting logistics, and that's it.

Let's dive in.

Comments

Alby's picture

how do you end messages? most of the time i get the message with the end xx or xo its the normal female end to a message, but how best to respond?

Anonymous's picture

Hey, love the site. If you had a date planned a few days in advance and she texts you in the days leading up to it how do you play it?

Thanks!

Anonymous's picture

Nice website. So, I used your tips. I was out last night and got a few numbers. It was real late like midnightish. So, I woke up this AM and sent out ice breaker texts. No replies (no big deal) but what do you suggest I follow-up with if no reply at all? Or, should I just ignore/delete and move on?

Thanks!

Velour's picture

Hey Chase,

First time commenting, and I want to say thank you for all the advice. It has really pulled me out of some funks and always makes the future look brighter.

I had a question for you, as well. I met a girl who is a friend of a friend, and asked her out. Went smoothly, except she walked out with another guy. Not the best. However, I thought I'd play around with it, so I asked her if she wanted to have dinner with me. Said yes. The following week, I asked about schedule and she replied that she's moving soon and she would like to hang out- all of us, as friends. She said she isn't really looking to get into anything.

Anyways, I"m trying to think on my own to feet with your advice as guide, but I'm a little unsure about the next step. I was thinking to call her out, "Who said anything about getting into anything? No big deal, just dinner." and see how she responds. Would really appreciate your advice, if I should go another route, or just a general game plan from here on out.

I don't know how you manage to reply to all of these, but cheers for doing so!

Thanks,
Gabe

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Gabe-

Yeah, that's a bit tough. When a girl's saying things like, "I don't want to get into anything," she's actively shutting you down - she's saying, "I know what you want (me), and I don't want that." It's not like a girl who's interested, and is being coy, a girl who's unsure, and tentative; she's being very clear here. She's not liable to do anything with you until you can reset attraction.

Your best move might actually be to try and make a joint dinner with her and other friends happen as soon as possible, and just pull out all the stops to really wow her on that outing. Bring some girl along who's into you if you can; otherwise, simply be at your calmest, most confident, sexiest, and most alluring self. You're trying to turn around her perception of you fast - you want her to come out thinking, "Going away dinner with friends," and leave thinking, "Whoa, that Gabe guy is WAY more sexy than I realized" - and the sooner you can do it the better, because you need time to both take her on this turnaround outing to reset how she sees you, and then still have time to meet up with her again afterward once you've gotten her warm to you again.

You could also try doing a phone call and building some rapport or attraction there, but when she's being as clear as she is a phone call probably won't really cut it here.

Chase

AT's picture

I never heard back from you, but I posted a question the other day about getting a few numbers while out late at a bar, sent out an ice breaker to both, and then sent out a coffee date request to one but never heard back. Should I move on with no replies?

Thanks,

AT

Author
Chase Amante's picture

AT-

Generally if you don't hear back from a text asking for a meetup, make your next interaction a phone call. So, it goes like this:

  • Text her to meet up -> no reply
  • Call her -> no reply -> leave a voicemail or send a text
  • Send another "check-in" text
  • Try calling again
  • Let her cool her heels for a few weeks if still no response... then try again

Give a day or two between each of these - text one day, call the next, text again 2 days later, etc.

Switching mediums like this (calling vs. texting) makes you look sharper - e.g., you're not some guy who's going to keep trying the same thing again and again when she isn't responding; you'll try something else.

If you get no replies after a week or two of trying to get a response, it's usually worth dropping the number, unless you want to save it for long shot attempts a few weeks or months out (which can be worth doing when you're new, just to learn the odds on those - e.g., save 20 non-responsive numbers for 6 months, and get in touch 6 months later, and you're surprised to find out two of the girls now want to meet up because their life circumstances have changed / they've just broken up with a boyfriend / their friends have been pushing them to go on more dates / etc.).

Chase

rob893's picture

Moved this comment to the forums.

G's picture

I came across your article by chance, and I must say it's given me an epiphany as to what went wrong in one of my past relationships (with regard to texting).

Thanks for the insight Chase!

- G

Anonymous's picture

Hey, great article...Just got a question.

I didn't do the asking out on a date really, I just asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime and she said yeah and txted me her number. I waited two days and txted her and we txted just couple short messages, 2 days later we txted a lil over stuff we relate to and here is where I am now..
I just came across this article and it seems I might've made a mistake. Should I txt her now and ask if she would see a movie with me or is it too late?

Ted's picture

I tried some of the techniques you suggested just now... I've gotta dime coming over this weekend, thanks for the advice!
-Ted

newguy's picture

so i met this girl at the club on Friday, and we made out had a great time dancing no issues i kissed her first she was the DD for her friends so she was sober when she kissed me back. with that being said that's a pretty big sign that she liked me....so how come when i texted her and asked her to meet me some where she stood me up...i texted her once afterwords but haven't gotten a response that was yesterday...should i just wait a day or 2 then send her a message and see what happens?

C-Whiz's picture

Gday Chase

agree with all of this great advice.

One little problem concerning suggesting a date before getting the number.

Heres my situation. this happened before reading this

I share class with a girl i'm interested in getting to meet. We've already formally met. we had a class activity together in a group, and we got along just fine. I haven't got the chance to have a solid one on one conversation with her. Just sent her a a quick fb message saying it was a pleasure meeting her with a subtle reference to our in class activity. Got a nice reply just stating the same back. Now class/semester is finished, and i dindn't take an opportunity to really talk to her. I would like to know what is the best approach to asking her out. Hindsight now, but would of definately applied this advice had i known earlier before classes ended. I admit despite im a natural talker and exert quite a bit a confidence positively, i've really procrastinated talking to this girl, mostly because i have reluctant being interested in having potential relationships until recently.

Can you help me out?

Anonymous's picture

ME::Hey Sheridan !Let’s figure out a time to grab a bite. How’s this weekend looking for you?
Today

HER::sure.. i will let u know by Friday.. after my interview

ME::cool.... what job you applying for ???

HER::retail..at a clothing store

ME::Good Luck !

Her:thanks a lot

ME:::see you Saturday .. have a Good night

Her::same 2 u

keep it short, simple and direct and you will be successful!!!!!

Alex R's picture

Chase-

I met this girl and it seemed to go well, I got her number and asked her out shortly after. She flaked on date one, and I got sick on date two. I set up the third date and she seemed excited, but she told me her friend is staying with her for the week and asked if I would mind if her friend came... How do I go about this? Thanks in advanced

-Alex

Anonymous's picture

it started 2012 november i met a girl accidently i asked her name was, it was Namyyna and i forget to get her number or mail(so stupid i am) then at december i actually found her facebook and sent a friend request after a day she accepted that night we chat we chat for like a month( oh by the i study at beijing) and i went back to china ff course i came back july and we chat a lot and i asked her out like this:
me-hi what's up
she-plenty
me-come on talk about it i will listen
she-mhm i am at home waiting for my sister to come by

me-oh by the way do have time tomorrow
she-oo sorry i don't have time tomorrow
me-ok then next time
she-ok
me-then it is a deal( i know i didn't have to say this i hit myself for senting this message it hurt)
she-i will see about that
me-ok bye

she-bye
yeah something like that happened and i still don't know what to do and that why i started to search over the net how to talk invite etc girls and i found out your site and i am very happy to contact and get help and could you tell me what to do know to get that girl mine step step step please thank you

MJ's picture

Hi,

So I set a date up early on she agreed and then some.
She is persistent on texting all day every day, I have played along with it for a while now. The date isn't for another week. How should I play this?

Also its quite clear she is doing the same with other guys.

Max's picture

Hey Chase!!!

Great article!!!
I met a girl who is a model. She gave me her number, and I text her.
What should I do in this scenario?

Me: "Hi ----! I'm glad I met you." "Oh, just in case I'm ---- haha!"
Her: "Haha...it's ok"
Me: "Are you staying home or will you go out?"
Her: "Going to bed, I'm very tired"
Me: "Nooooo, Saturday's Night!!!!
She did not answer, so I wrote her again.
Me: "Do you usually go out?"
Her: "Really, no"
Me: "And an invitation to have a drink?"
Her: "Look, I appreciate but my mother is visiting me and it has been a long time I don't see her"
Me "But I'm not saying today. Next week when your mother leaves. How about Wednesday or Thursday?" "Or tell me when you can"
Her: "I appreciate but now I'm not having a good emotional moment"
Me: "What happened? Well, if you want to tell me..."
She did not responded, so I wrote her again.
Me: Ok, it must be something very personal... Let's talk in a couple of days. Feel better and sweet dreams."
She never answered back, and the next day in the morning she did it.
Her: "Thank you very much!"

Since then (3 days ago) I did not write her again, but I want to do it, and I need some suggestions because I do not want to write the wrong thing and screw it up!
I will appreciate your comments.
Thank you!

Anonymous's picture

Hi Chase, I'm kinda stumped in my lady-situation and I figured I should ask you about it considering all the good things I've heard. Let's get started! I'm a teen who's only liked one girl my entire lifetime. I've known her nearly 6 years and I recently got her number. (through my friend who did'nt know I liked her at the time.) We talk quite regularly. Now I'm actually stumped on two different things. 1. how to start a basic conversation using what you've said. Honestly I don't know what piece of advice to use. IT'S OVERWHELMING. 2. on Valentines day we started talking and the coversation ended up leading to her boyfriend (who's treated her like shit multiple times) Here it is. Me: Almost forgot happy valentines day! (smily face with tongue sticking out) Her: happy valentines day:) Me: do you have a valentine? Her: no Me: well...I have a right hand. (pointless chatter fast forward a few hours) Me: hey i know i shouldn't intrude in your space but my hearts telling you to leave (4 privacy reasons) dave behind. Me: hear me out this is the guy whos said the only thing you're good 4 is a pole what does that say about him he is nice? he'll abuse his second chance Her: i know Me: if you know then why? you're not a puppet you are just as important as everyone else you know i care Her: i know i know but im that person that'll give you a second chance and if you fuck it up your done and i havent cared about it much till today atleast. Me:You're telling me you're forgiving a boy whos called you slut worthless..... but we'll be here all fucking night! Her: i know im gonna talk to him Me: you know i only mean well i did'nt mean 2 come pissy its just i know he will hurt you and i care quite frankly alot or else i wouldnt have bothered. PERSENT shes still dating the asshole and im nearly invisible. PLEASE HELP.

Shawn's picture

Okay man your amazing, I followed exactly what your example convo said and it's working, I usually keep texting and texting like a buddy, I used friend and everything but she said she'll let me know when she gets done with basketball.. I said awesome just let me know, I'll see you then( her name) she was like what? Because she's used to texting me all the time! And I explained it and she sounded mad she said,"we'll okay? Bye then" and then sent a said face ... What do id do after this?

Anonymous's picture

Sometimes i have done what you say in #9: (Propose the Date Before You Ask for the Number!), but after texting a woman about the date she responds and then starts asking things like "and whats your job?", my question is, do i have to respond to this women with or without humor? Or do i have to tell her my job and ask about her job? And just like that (the job thing is just an example, but is like the most common question a get from text after doing what you said). Thank you, from Costa Rica.

By the way, here in my country everybody texts through the app called Whatsapp.

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase I have a question. If I'm doing online dating and want to open up start an email with a girl on the site, would the same rules for texting apply here? If not in what ways would they be different and do you think you could do an article on online emailing/dating.

Endless questions 's picture

Hey chase I have been reading your articles lately and find them very helpful an intriguing to try out. But my question is there is this girl I met in New York last Thursday on vacation Iv talk to her a bit the last few days (Iv keep my messages short with not to many questions) but my two problems are when I text her something interesting she will respond an seem exited and then I text her back an she never responds again that day. Then my next problem is I live all the way in the Midwest so we live far apart I can't just ask her to grab lunch or anything like that. If I new tha she liked me or was interested or something I could try to fly out there but this is a hard situation for me. I would really apreciate any advise before I lose her. She's funny, cute an extremely nice plus she starting an acting career. Thanks I advance

Reggie's picture

Amazing article. Very informative and helpful! Who would've thought that I had to LEARN something in order to change my outcomes with texting chicks. One question. How do you respond to the GIRL saying what's up? And would does this show about HER motives?

Sam Z's picture

Hey Chase, thanks for all your advice with texting but I must be doing something wrong.

I just started College (I'm a freshman), met this girl (she's a senior), and we really hit it off. She even invited me back to her dorm. I probably should've tried to escalate but being new to all this I didn't know what to do so I just asked to for her number and she happily agreed. I went home and texted her basically the message you had in this article as an ice breaker and here's how it went.

Me: It was lovely meeting you, new friend =)
-Sam

Her: Haha, you as well. Good luck tomorrow, and I hope I was able to help! Let's meet up tomorrow sometime and talk about how redonks our first day was. I am done at 2:40pm. Let me know what works. Latah!
~*~

Me (trying to keep a similar text size to her): That sounds great, I'm done at 2:40 also but I'm on the south side of campus. Sometime around 3:20 would probably be best so I can drop my bag off. And I don't really know campus that well yet... so you'll probably need to choose the location too... =P

*The next day*

Her:Are you currently in landon for breakfast?
~*~

Me: I have no idea where that is so... probably not o.0

*A few hours later*

Me: Actually I'm kinda feeling icecream. How about the dairy store?

Her: Sounds great. I'll meet up at the dairy store @ 320
~*~

*3:07*

Her: Hey dairy store in the union okay with you??
~*~

Me: I thought there was only one dairy store in the engineering building. I'm kinda as far away from Union as one can get...

Her: That's fine! Mins if we reschedule? It's too hot out for either of us to hike it 'cross campus. /:
~*~

Me: Not at all! You thinking of any specific time?

And that was it... she didn't text back after that. Was the attraction expired as you said up above, should I have been more dominant from the beginning even though I didn't know campus? I really don't understand what I did wrong.

I know that this is an old article but any advice that you could give would be greatly appreciated

Thanks,

Sam

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase,

So my friend introduced me this app called hot or not,
where they shou pictures of people and ask whether you are attracted to them or not, if both find each other attracted you can chat with them.

I usually prefer to meet them in person and get her number, but it seemed likea better way to meet more girls and its system is simple but effective.

What im aiming at is asking them out on the first msg and get to know them in person, and trying to impliment ehat ive learn on this article, but the problem is that this tips already implies that you already met the girl before and have interacted with them already, in my case however i havent met any of them before so how do i go about it

Is this acceptable?

Hey Katrina, I gotta say, i really like what i've seen, specially that smile of yours. I want to get to know more about you, care to join me for a cup of coffee next week?

Sean99999's picture

Hey man,

I just started going out with this girl about 3 weeks ago and I've noticed over the years that I'm absolutely crap at holding an interesting conversation with a girl over s text message. I haven't passed the three month mark for the last 5 relationships I've had and I feel that this is exactly why it's happening! I believe the way I text at the moment makes me seem way to needy and vulnerable. So tonight I decided to do some research and I came across you're blog (Some interesting things to read might I add) and read your article 'How to Text a Women' I couldn't help but ask for more help with your technique to keep the texting straight to the point and simple because I have never attempted it. I'm disappointed right now because I haven't seen my girlfriend outside of school yet and I feel this would help her want me more !

LT's picture

Hey Chase,
I just came across your site and have read a few articles so far. I must say, you speak the truth - nothing I've ever read on dating quite compares. You're like an older friend that begins to teach you his wisdom piece by piece. You're not like most of the fluff all over the internet - you really know your stuff. I wonder if you still write and/or communicate on here.. We'll see.
This article was amazing and mind blowing. I completely realized the huge mistakes I was making 2 minutes into the article. It seems so simple now. Just have to put it into practice. You're so right about everything except two small points I was just a bit skeptical about. Qualifying her - for example saying "hey you're a really cool person", and "calling her "friend". I'm not quite convinced that letting her know that you think she's "a cool chick" is a bad thing and calling her "friend" is a good thing. However, I completely trust you on these. Maybe you could elaborate a bit more on those points to make them a bit more convincing.
Anyway, I'm compelled to share a recent story. Just to show you guys how much this is Reality! And how I have realized my faults and mistakes.
So I began talking to a girl at the bar (she was alone there - work related), and we just sat around and talked for about 2 hours (that's probably a big mistake in it self already). Conversation was OK. Not good, not too bad. Upon walking out I asked her for her number. She hesitated but she gave it to me. A few days later I texted her if she wanted to do another beer session. She took a while to text back and at first we were deciding on where - and then she ended with "maybe next week".

There are so many things wrong with this scenario. What I should have done differently -
Not spent all that time just sitting around chatting about nothing with her. I should have left much sooner.
I should have planned a date before getting her number!!!

When texting her (should have texted sooner / should have sent an ice breaker text) I offered her to do what we did last time... Some pretty boring BS. After all that, the best thing I could have done was to offer her something Better!?!?!?

Anyway. Just wanted to share that story and commend Chase on his skills.
Cheers.

Anonymous's picture

Very insightful Chase, thanks a lot.

Tried it out, though I'm a bit unsure where to go from where from now.

---

Me: Hey, nice to meet you friend :) -steven

Her: hey

[4 hours]

Me: Jenn, how’s thanksgiving going? Hope your day off is relaxing, must be tough working all week during break. I’m going to a cheesy holiday party later…haven’t been to one in a while so this should be interesting. Been craving coffee lately, want to join me? Let me know how your schedule’s looking like, I’m pretty open this weekend.

[<20 minutes]

Her: ill be sure to check my schedule!

---

Been close to 20 hours, I haven't responded and she hasn't texted either. It's Friday though. Any advice on what I should be doing?

killerman's picture

Hey Chase, I got a question. What's your opinion in putting kisses in texts? Will it sabotage your chances with a girl? Been doing this for a while and I think it might be the reason why girls lose interest or simply don't message back. Btw love reading all your articles, keep them coming!

Jonny's picture

Great article man,

I've got a girl I've been chatting to for a while now, we met on a dating app. We've set a date to meet but it's not for another 3 weeks as we're going to the cinema for a film opening.

Is there anyway I can keep her keen for 3 weeks, or do I need to try & get a another date planned before this? We are texting regularly although I'm changing my texting habits after reading this.. especially response times.

Appreciate any advice bro

Jonny

Anonymous's picture

So I got this girls number from a friend and I have no idea how to initiate a conversation with this girl because I haven't met her in my life. Any suggestions?

Richard 's picture

Hi chase I find your topics holding water and I would like an assisting hand. This lady I met and got to know a while now. I have gotten to like her and ever since I got to reveal it. She starts to act like she never saw my messages or my calls, phone is an issue. It's been a semester now but Everytime I felt it overboard I would assert my intensions and say that if she doesn't want to relate with me then shed better come clear otherwise I would not foster her actions.
After a break from sem she calls and says I miss you. I don't take it for what I hear. But to cut down. I get to go for her and she gave an ear. I give it two days and then sit her to get to know her take. She tells me she really likes me that I have all qualities in man that suit her priorities 90out of a 100% 99 out of 100% but she doesn't want to get into a relationship for now. She says that time is still early that even in six years if we're destined to be we shall still come by. To add the icing she says when she's free on a Friday from her engineering class shell get to reach me that we can get to spend time together. I asked her how she's gonna make it happen she says she'll reach out.. Hehe I found it hard to drive to. She often steals glances and I could notice even though I pretend to look away. I'm wondering if she's serious she tells me she suppresses her feeling by being quiet.

Greg's picture

Hey Chase,

Great article as usual, but having just discovered your site I sorta skipped step 1. Propose the date before getting the number.

How can I move forward from here?

Man With No Name's picture

How and what kind of things should I text if the girl is in another country and if there's no way for me to meet her in person?

Plus, she's fallen out with me some time ago for some stupid text I sent, but lately, she's started texting back. However, I don't text often.
I'd be grateful if you could help me with the matter

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