Like Attracts Like | Girls Chase

Like Attracts Like

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Talking today with an acquaintance of mine, we got to commenting on a couple we both knew and how they’d recently gotten together. The girl is a prim, proper girl who is more concerned with clothes and makeup than anything else, and the guy is a little bit of a rough-and-tumble cat from a poorer part of the world – but he’s pretty cocky and self-assured. My acquaintance was surprised the two of them ended up a pair; I wasn’t. “The bad girl got the bad boy,” I said, and he laughed and said that was a good way of putting it.

Maybe my mind was already working that way because of an article I read earlier today on Slate Magazine, called “Freaks, Geeks, and Economists: A study confirms every suspicion you ever had about high-school dating.” The article discusses a study in which, among other things, the term assertive mating is mentioned. Slate defines assortative mating as the tendency of individuals to select for mates similar to themselves; I did a quick look-up on Wikipedia to confirm. The tendency of individuals to select similar mates is known as positive assortative mating; individuals who select for dissimilar traits are referred to as practicing negative assortative mating.

Comments

Aspirant's picture

As I've been reading this site and improving myself and interactions in all things social, this post strikes a chord with me. I'd have to say that I'm a smart man and I am very picky when in comes to women, especially in the intelligence department. I instantly go into auto-rejection if I realize a woman can't stay on my level in subtlety, nuance, and adroitness and acuity of the mind. If I use a word in the upper echelons of vocabulary it's because I feel it conveys in one or two words a more visceral and concise, basically more effecient, way of communicating but if a girl just gapes and says "big word," that's my cue to make a tactical withdrawal. There's addendums to that screen of mine but I find it gives me a good feel for any person I'm deep diving with, men or women, and helps me to decide if this person is worth my time. If you're not like me we can still be friends but I won't idle away my time investing too much in a person not worth it. Sounds callous but I find I don't speak candidly enough these days.
-Jake

greg's picture

One question.

How it is generally right way to find commonalities with someone.

I think that the "Me too..." phrase is not great.

So how do you structural relate to others?

Jimbo's picture

Does this mean it's near impossible to have a relationship with a girl of different intellect, be it higher or lower? Couldn't there be a certain complementarity between two partners of varying intellect; like, say, one takes care of the budgeting, the planning, and other complex tasks while the other is given simpler ones? Or do you think this complementarity would be outweighed by the two not having much in common?

I know you probably won't be responding to this comment, but it would be great if you considered doing an article on how you could keep a girl of high intellect (when yours is low) excited, and vice-verse, when you're heavy on the neo-cortex and she isn't? If you think it's at all possible.

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