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Pickup

Meeting and attracting members of the opposite sex.

How to Be a Charmer (by Making a Charming Approach)

Daniel Adebayo's picture
charmer being hugged by babeEvery man has the potential to become sizzlingly seductive to women. But not every man is willing to put in the effort.

Resistance is arguably the most frustrating experience in a new game student's journey to improve his sex life with cold approach.

After working up the courage to open - and begin a new interaction - it can appear in different forms, like:

These obstacles can even bring headaches to a skilled seducer.

However, there is a quality so tempting most women find it just about impossible to resist.

You’ve most likely heard of it before. It’s called charm. But what is it exactly?

The Algerian seducer and philosopher Albert Camus said:

“You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer 'yes' without asking a clear question.”

In other words, instead of asking new women blunt questions when trying to pick them up, you just speak and behave in deliberately suggestive ways. When done right, the girls you meet find you extraordinarily persuasive because your suggestions allow them to convince themselves they want you, instead of the other way around.

A charming man masks his cleverness by deflecting attention from himself and focusing it on his girls. He understands their point of view, boosts their self-esteem, and brings pleasure to the subconscious mind.

He appears as an indulging beam of light, making them feel big and powerful. He is the grand mage - who has internalized the law of least effort - to cast spells targeted at the weakest points of the women he meets:

  • Their vanity

  • Their desire for focused attention

We will be breaking this process down today.

First, note that people love to exaggerate their importance, even if it's only in the private world of their own mind. This, incidentally, is what makes even the most desirable women in the world vulnerable, since even these dream-caliber babes don’t tire of having their self-worth validated.

The satisfaction of this primal desire underpins the state of generalized addiction to social media we find ourselves in today. Still, a flickering screen can’t compete with the presence of a charming man, for his social graces have led many a woman into complete dependence.

Another quote to consider in today’s article is a classic:

“With great power, comes great responsibility.”

Tactics Tuesdays: 3% Frames (Push Her Off the Fence)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

3% framesDo you keep running into the same objections? Construct frames that circumvent these (and increase your odds by 3-5%).

I know a guy who always struggles with chemistry with women.

He doesn't do things exactly quite right. He uses all the right tactics and techniques with women, but he uses them in this way that is just a little bit 'off'.

When you try to point it out to him, he insists that in fact he is doing everything correctly. Then he says it must be a problem with the technique or that the technique doesn't work for him.

Regardless the reason, he constantly runs into issues where he has what he thinks is a great date, followed by the woman telling him at the end of it (or texting him later on) that she "just isn't feeling it."

"There's no chemistry," she says. Or "I didn't feel a spark."

I can't get him to fix the vibe/calibration issues. He doesn't see these as a real problem, probably because he's unable to pick up on this issue himself, even when women point it out or coaches point it out.

However, I wanted to help him, so gave him a tool I knew he could use: a 3% frame to help push things his way in those edge cases where it could go either way, but "I'm not feeling a spark" is the deciding factor.

How to Work on Both Outer & Inner Game

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

inner and outer gameIt is possible to work on your self-image and outlook while also improving your game technique.

I’ve been coaching clients for many years now. Everyone has nearly the exact same issues, just in different degrees.

The universal problem they all have is taking their boring conversations that get them friendzoned or ignored, and turning them into attraction.

That was the promise that hooked me. If I learned the magic routines then sexy women would just follow me home for wild, no-strings-attached sex.

While that’s happened plenty of times, the reality is much different. I had to face soul-crushing amounts of rejection to develop the most fundamental skills.

Just learning how to approach, talk to women and hold their attention took me almost two years of daily effort.

Tactics Tuesdays: Be Happy as You Lead Her Out the Door

Chase Amante's picture
lead her outWhen you escalate but she stops you cold, it can be awkward walking her out. To keep things cool (and raise the odds you see her again & bed her later), be merry as you walk her out.

Every guy has girls he pulls home who don’t go to bed with him.

Maybe she stopped you at the kiss, or maybe you got too shy and didn’t go for it.

Or maybe you made it somewhere into the escalation, only to hit a wall of last minute resistance you failed to overcome.

Regardless, you brought her back, hoped to get together with her, then it fizzled out.

In the end, you had to lead her out the door.

If you’re a reader on this site, you know that once she crosses that threshold, without ending up your lover, the odds she’s ever coming back plummet.

Nevertheless, there’s something you can do as you walk her out that increases those odds – not to 50/50, but at least to the point where you’ve still got a fighting chance.

In Seduction (Like So Many Things), Seeing Is Believing

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

seduction seeing is believingUntil you see something, you'll be hard-pressed to believe it. That includes some of the more incredible things you can pull off with seduction.

When I was a seduction neophyte, I had this idea in my head: "Quick pickups will work with loose, low value girls. But really super, scaldingly hot girls could never in a million billion years be picked up fast. Those girls know their value."

For a few years my experience bore that out. I neither picked up super hot girls super quick, or even all that often, nor did I encounter anyone who did.

We might call this a 'stable mental model'.

2.5 years into my seduction career, I made a friend who consistently slept with lots of hot girls, some of whom were very hot. Some of those girls he bedded quick... but all the quick ones there'd be some caveat or other with.

So with each of them I'd be able to tell myself, "He met that girl on MySpace, and MySpace girls are all kinda screwed up. So yeah, she's super hot, and she shagged him on a quick first date, but doesn't invalidate the rule," and my mental model remained (mostly) intact.

Then I went traveling with a mentor and watched him pick up an insanely beautiful girl exceptionally quick. A year later I was in this same mentor's town on business and here, too, I watched him pick up very, very good-looking girls at lightning speed and bed them (and I'd be along for the ride, winging him on the girl's friend, racing through pickups happening way faster than any I'd ever put together myself at that point).

That made me realize, "Wow, it actually is possible to pick up extremely hot girls extremely fast."

But I still had some reservations.

I thought, for instance, that a more reserved very hot girl, like the girlfriend I had at the time, wouldn't go for that sort of thing. I knew her, after all, and knew she wouldn't.

Then we broke up, and a few months later I read her journal, and discovered my gorgeous, high value ex-girlfriend, whom I thought was oh-so-judicious about her sexuality, let some banker she met outside a nightclub while on the rebound from me pork her up the butt.

It took me a few weeks to fully process how this girl, who had guys drooling over her wherever I took her, and always seemed like the absolute cream of the crop to me, would end up taking anal from some guy off the street she met on the rebound.

"My sweet princess, my one-time soul mate, lying on the floor of some dingy apartment in hippie-central Ocean Beach getting reamed by the meat shaft of a random she just met." That takes a moment to get your head around.

In the end, I arrived at a very different understanding of women than what I had going in, and this shift altered everything for me.

It was a great shift -- a breakthrough shift -- that allowed me to start doing the same thing I'd watched that mentor do, and the same thing that banker did to that former girlfriend of mine.

It allowed me to pick up very good-looking women, very quick.

A year later, it was friends and students of mine going out with me, watching me pick up extremely hot girls, extremely quick, and coming to me the next day saying, "I cannot believe you got that girl. And I cannot believe how fast you got her."

Then going on for a bit about how they did not believe a girl like that would even hook up with guys that fast.

Then, a bit later still, I ended up on a phone call with the ex-boyfriend of a girl I shagged (long story how I ended up talking to that guy), who could not believe how quickly this beautiful, intelligent, highly educated girl he'd wanted to marry had jumped at light speed into bed with a guy like me. I felt bad for the guy... he began the call with a long and drawn-out sigh that told me he felt in that moment exactly the way I'd felt reading my ex's journal a few years back.

What I'd seen done, I came to do. What I'd witnessed embodied, I came to embody.

I'd never have had that transformation just from someone telling me about it.

I had to see it. I had to experience it first.

So much in seduction (and life) is this way.

If You're Stuck in a Seduction, Do This

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

seduction stuckIf you get stuck in an interaction with a girl... you need to move it forward.

Hey there.

Have you interacted with a girl, hooked, had her smiling, and perhaps even escalated physically? Things get hotter; she seems compliant to you. It all seems to be going fine…

Until you reach a plateau. You are stuck.

It’s just not moving forward. It is not like things are sideways, or she is losing interest. You’re simply unable to move forward. It’s like the interaction freezes, and you are unable to escalate the vibe further.

This happens to everyone, even me sometimes. It’s a frustrating scenario, especially when you don’t know how to deal with it.

Learning to Seduce, Pt 2: Benefits of a Better Girl-Getting Skillset

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

benefits of girl skillsYeah, you want more girls, but is learning seduction worth the work? In actual fact, the benefits extend far beyond simple pleasure, to reach across your entire life.

Hey guys. Last week I discussed the importance of seeking long-term solutions instead of short-term answers to your girl problems.

We mentioned that short-term answers have a higher chance of being “flawed.” They risk a lower chance of being implemented correctly since the seducer lacks the skills and experience to pull things off (given all the subtleties and timings).

With more experience, you acquire better and more accurate diagnostic tools that help you understand and find the best solution to your problem. The chances that you implement the right solution correctly also increase.

To acquire this capability, you have to shoot for the long-term solution and learn those skills. This gives you the best chance of getting that one special girl since you not only have better diagnostic tools to understand the girl and the situation, but you’ve improved your overall skills, which will increase your chances of getting her.

Today I’d like to provide more reasons why you should opt for the long-term solution and why you should take the time to learn how to get good with girls.

There may be reasons you may not have thought of, which may shed light on what you may have previously disregarded. I am sure that NO MATTER what your goals are, you will see that taking the time to learn how to get good with girls will benefit you. It will help you reach your goals, opening up other ancillary benefits you may not have thought about which you can add to, and improve your technique.

I hope the following breakdown will increase your motivation to pursue this journey because even though it can be filled with frustrations here and there, at the end of the day, it is a fun and exciting journey.

Level Up Your Verbal Game with Intent

Daniel Adebayo's picture
verbal game intentDisplay too much intent too soon and you may scare women off. Yet, use it well, and you can employ intent to blow past obstacles with girls you want to seduce.

Have you ever felt powerful emotions and struggled to express them?

If so, you are not alone. It’s a pesky but common challenge for many guys.

Most of us can vividly remember the first time we saw our favorite movie, but only a few can adeptly describe the feelings inspired by that almost magical experience. Perhaps you play a sport, practice a hobby, or traveled to a place that you found uniquely fantastic. Wouldn’t it be great if you could talk to girls about these topics in captivating ways?

If you had a device that could transmit the memorable emotions and sensations you enjoyed from your past experiences into the present, imagine what this could do for your interactions with gorgeous girls.

The great news is you already own this communication device.

Maybe you find yourself out of things to say in your conversations with women. Or you find it difficult to hold onto female attention in your seductions. You notice that girls start getting bored when you don’t tease or make them laugh. These are signs you haven’t learned how to use your communication device properly yet.

This device is called the seducer’s intent. You may have heard the word “intent” used in the pickup community and other dating companies.

Let’s take a closer look at this concept.

Learning to Seduce, Pt 1: "Get Her Now" vs. Build the Skill

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

learning seductionMost guys who start learning seduction do so to fix an immediate need. Yet the REAL results come from long-term practice.

Hi there. I hope you are all doing fine.

After spending weeks discussing indirect game and sharing two very detailed case studies of how I do things in field (showing how all the puzzle pieces come together), I have decided to move on to other subjects.

So today, let’s discuss seduction advice. I’ll debunk some misconceptions about the limitations and promises of those “quick fixes” for seduction we all too often hear.

What can we know, and what can we not know? And more importantly, what can you expect from this field of knowledge? I intend to give you a more realistic view of pickup and seduction.

Unfortunately, in this industry, we see many empty promises and outright crap to buy into. I hope that my breakdown will make sense and seem trustworthy.

Why You Eject from Talking to Girls Too Soon (Plus How to Stop)

Allen Reyes's picture

By: Allen Reyes

eject talking to girlsA lot of guys bail out of their interactions with women too soon. How do you stop ejecting from women, and start winning with them?

The worst thing to come out of most guys' mouths when dealing with women is: "Well, it was nice to meet you."

This is the classic bail out ejection line of the beginner. All the way from budding pickup artists to just a guy trying to meet a girl who gave him some eye contact at the bar.

One of the biggest mistakes beginners, intermediates and even advanced guys make is never getting rejected. They reject themselves first.